Ready Made Family
by MyLion.MyLamb
Summary: After meeting twin bronze haired little boys Bella is forced to come to terms with her past. Can she accept & forgive her past & see what's in front of her to seal her fate. . .
1. First Sighting

**Disclaimer on profile!**

**Onward with the read. . .**

Bella reached in her messenger bag pulling out her phone as it rang.

"Alice, how are you?" she said in a light, breezy voice.

"Don't you Alice me you Benedict Arnold." She replied

"Now, Alice, don't you think that's a bit much." She asked as she rolled her eyes looking at Angela.

"I told you she would be upset with you if she found out." Angela whispered so Alice wouldn't hear on the line. She wasn't close friends with Alice, but she knew her well enough to know that Alice loved nothing more than shopping.

"NO! Why didn't you tell me? I would have come with you." Alice pouted over the line.

"First, you never asked where I was going.-"

"Minor technicality; you knew you were going to the mall when I called and you didn't say a word." She protested.

Bella ignored her comment, "Second, I'm only meeting Angela for lunch, _nothing_ more. Third, I do not want to spend the rest of my day in the mall being dragged around to an endless amount of stores." Bella finished as she Angela reached the food court.

"How does she always know anyway?"

"She's the Great and Powerful Alice." Bella snickered as she covered the receiver.

"I heard that, Missy!" Bella just laughed. "But, Bella." she whined dragging out the syllables of her name, "There is a sale and I wanted to go."

"You can still go, Alice." Bella said as she pointed out what she wanted from Golden Buddha.

"Really?" she asked. Bella could only imagine Alice bouncing up and down.

"Yes, really Alice." She said with a small chuckle, "But without me." She finished seriously.

"Bella you're no fun."

"No, I'm plenty fun, Alice, contrary to what you believe. I just don't find shopping fun. I'll call you later."

"Fine, bye." She hung up.

"Is she very mad?" Angela asked as they sat down at a table to eat.

"You know Alice. She's probably forgotten about it by now. Thinking about my next big makeover." Bella laughed and Angela joined in.

"Mike was looking for you today." Angela announced as she peaked up from her plate with a smirk.

"I don't know what for; he knows I work from home." Bella said annoyed. "Why he can't seem to take a hint, I'll never understand."

Angela just laughed at Bella as she became further annoyed. She always found it funny how Mike was relentless at getting Bella to go out with him. When she was in the office he basically followed her around instead of doing his work.

"Maybe you should just give him a chance. He_ seems_ nice enough." She commented as they got up from the table to dump their trays.

"You know I don't date. And if I did, he would be the la-" Bella stopped mid sentence as she felt two sets of small iron grips around her legs.

Bella looked down to see two small bronze haired boys gripping onto her legs tightly. She bent down and ran her fingers through their hair, but they didn't respond.

"Do you know them, Bella?" Angela asked curiously.

"No. I've never seen them before. Look, I know you have to get back to work, so I'll find their parents and call you later, okay?"

"Sure. Later, Bella." Angela said as she walked away.

After Angela walked away, Bella looked back down to the boys holding her legs in an iron vice. She ran her hands through their hair again studying them a little. She didn't know what to say as they held onto her for dear life.

"Hey there. What are your names?" she asked in a soothing tone. When they didn't answer she looked around to see if she could see anybody looking for the two small boys.

She didn't see anyone that looked like they lost their children.

"Can you tell me how old you are?" she coaxed rubbing their heads softly. She got no answer from either of them they just gripped her tighter.

"Did you lose your mommy?"

"We don't have a mommy." The one on the left said.

Their grips around her legs loosened as they both looked up at her. Their bright green eyes shinning up at her. She thought that they were the most adorable boys she had ever seen. She was instantly taken with just one look.

Bella reached down to take one of them in her arms, but all he did was hugged her tighter and start to cry. After a couple tries she finally pried him off her and picked him up into her arms; he stopped crying realizing she wasn't going to leave him.

After she got the first little boy settled she reached her free hand down for the other one. With a little coaxing, she finally had both boys in her arms.

"Where are you taking us?" Asked the one in her left arm. Bella thought he seemed to be the least shy.

"To find your daddy."

"Please don't leave us." Cried the shy on the right.

Bella sighed. She gazed at their faces for a moment. They looked to be about three or four years old and had messy bronze hair. When she looked into their eyes, she saw hope staring back at her through vibrant emerald eyes. But she also saw sadness; sadness that she might leave them. She couldn't bear to see either one of them so sad and crying.

"How about some ice cream, hmmm?" their faces brightened up and she could see that they each had one adorable little dimple and the cutest crooked smiles she'd ever seen.

She went inside _Brusters_ and got the boys each a scoop of ice cream. After she paid for it, she sat with the boys at a table in the front of the ice cream parlor. She figured that if anyone was looking for them, at least they'd be able to see them out front.

"What's your name?"

"Bella." she replied sweetly. She was surprised he had been so bold as to ask because he was the quietest out of the two, "What's yours?"

"I'm Kyle and he's Kevin. We're twins." Answered the more out going one, she assumed.

"Well it's very nice to meet you both. Where is your daddy?"

"We don't know. We were looking at the toys then he wasn't there anymore. We looked everywhere, but we couldn't find him." Kyle answered as a tear escaped his eyes.

Bella leaned forward to wrap her arms around both of them, "Don't cry, we will find your daddy when you finish. Why don't we sing a song. Would you like that?" they both nodded eagerly still eating their ice cream.

"Pick a number."

"Seven!" They said at the same time.

"Okay, seven little monkeys jumping on a bed, one fell off and bumped his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said," The boys joined in with her, "No more monkeys jumping on the bed!"

Just as they got to two little monkey, Bella heard a distressed and relieved velvet voice call out to the boys.

"Kyle, Kevin. Where have you been?"

When Bella looked up she saw the most beautiful and angry man she had ever seen. He was Adonis, alive and in front of her. His height had he craning her neck to see his beautifully concerned and angry face capped under a wild mound of fiery hair that matched the boys. Relieved emeralds frantically searched his childrens body's for harm. His muscles flexed as he shifted. Standing high above her. Towering.

He was built nicely.

"Hi, daddy." The boys said in unison not moving.

"You." He said looking at Bella. "You took my boys. Arrest her or something," he demanded turning to the mall rent-a-cop standing next to him. Bella just looked at him incredulously.

"First place you went wrong, I didn't kidnap your boys. They grabbed me about an hour ago and wouldn't let go. If I had taken them, would I be so stupid as to do so, then sit in the front of and ice cream store with them?" she asked expectantly. He just looked at her for a moment, when he didn't answer she continued.

"Second, it's not my fault you can't keep up with them and I looked around this area," she said gesturing slightly with her hand, "for you, but I was not going to go traipsing up and down the mall looking for you. And when a place as large as this doesn't have a lost child center, stay in one place and they'll find _you_."

"She's right you know?" the rent-a-cop said. Edward just looked at him incredulously.

"My dad was a cop," She paused to look at his name tag, "Frank."

"Was?" Frank asked

"Died a few years ago." She said simply

"Sorry, Bella." the boys both said

"It's okay. He saved a lot of lives that day. He's a hero." She said reaching over to clean their faces.

"Anyway, I bought them an ice cream and waited. I don't know what you do at home so I got them sugar free to be on the safe side."

"Excuse me a moment." Bella said as she retrieved the phone that was ringing in her messenger bag,

"Hello."

"No. That goes to Newport…Yes I know…No, I'm not done…It's not due for six more days…I received it yesterday…Well, I can't help you I'm sorry…You'll have to take that up with Johnson. Call HR...Okay good bye then!"

Bella took a deep breath, "Unbelievable."

"Is everything okay?"

"Yes, everything is fine Mr.…"she trailed off

"Cullen, Edward Cullen." He replied

"Well, 007, it was nice to meet you. Your boys are darling, keep up with them." She leaned over and kissed the boys on the forehead and left. Edward turned and watched as she walked out the mall.

Never in his life had he met such a woman, and he let her wall right out of it. He thought she was the most beautiful woman he had ever met as he looked after her. She was short, a little over five feet he guessed, deep brown eyes set in her heart shaped face surrounded by luscious mahogany hair that reached passed the middle of he back.

But what got him the most was how she was with his boys. She seemed to have a magical ness about herself that his boy, nor himself for that matter, could resist. His boys had never taken to someone so quickly.

She was a mystery to him and he hoped that he would see her again.

*** * *RFM* * ***

_**Thanks a million orange lotion bottles!**_


	2. 3 AM

_**(Disclaimer on profile)**_

_**Onward with the read!**_

I sat at my desk working into the wee hours of the morning. After a few hours of work I pulled my reading glasses back and sat back in my big leather desk chair. It was much too large for the desk and it very nearly swallows me but I love it.

I couldn't stop thinking about the two little boys I had met the day before. They were two of the most adorable, lovable, precocious little boys I had ever seen. It had to be illegal to be that cute!

They seemed to be so lost when I first met them. Holding onto my legs tightly all alone and scared without knowing what happened or how it happened. I couldn't help but want to pick them up and hug them to pieces. I can't understand how I was so drawn to them so quickly, but I was…am! I was completely taken with their crooked smiles, that single dimple in their left cheeks and those big green eyes staring back at me. How could I resist?

But then there was the father. He was an arrogant piece of work. The nerve of him. Accusing me of kidnapping his kids, it was positively laughable. If I wasn't smart enough to leave after I had _stolen_ his kids, right out from under his nose, then how did I steal them from him in the first place? He obviously didn't think through his accusation thoroughly.

I should have had a camera; his face was priceless when Frank was agreeing with me. Telling me I did the right thing to just stay put instead of walking around. I could have just died. He looked like he could have just died, really! But, he was mighty handsome...more than.

He looked like a Greek God clad in his designer cloths. And his hair, his odd copper or bronze colored hair looked like it was created to have fingers running through it. Not to mention his vibrant emerald eyes alongside his crooked smile and that lone dimple. It was easy to see where his boys got their looks.

But none of that matters. I'm not his type and he's not mine. I would never in a million years be attracted to someone who thought so highly of themselves. For goodness sakes he lost his twins; I didn't take them. Doesn't matter, the chances of me seeing him again is one in a zillion! But he would be nice to look at once in a while_. _

_!_

_Alice!_

I got up from my desk and made my way to the door where Alice was incessantly ringing my door bell. Alice had better have a good reason for coming to my house at this hour. I swear sometimes she had sugar _and_ caffeine pumping through her veins instead of blood.

"Bella!" she cried hugging me after I opened the door.

"Alice!" is said in mock enthusiasm. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm not allowed to come over anymore?" Alice asked with a pout. Sometime that girl, she just doesn't get it sometimes. I think she does it on purpose.

"Of course, Alice. You are my best friend, but why are you here now?"

"To visit silly. I never did get to talk to you again yesterday." Alice replied like it was the most obvious thing.

"Alice, it's three AM. Why are you up, furthermore, why are you at my house at this ungodly hour?" I asked as I shut the door and followed Alice to the kitchen who helped herself to some coffee.

"Its not like you were sleep."

"That's beside the point, Alice."

"Ugh! Is this decaf?" She said pouring out the coffee.

"Why yes it is." I said with a smirk. Alice hated decaf anything. Alice didn't need caffeine; she was practically born on uppers.

"What's the point of working late if you're just going to drink decaf?" she asked searching my cabinets for something to eat. Though she was tiny and pixie like, she had a big appetite.

"Alice, I always work at this time and I drink coffee for the flavor not the high I could get from it like you." She turned slightly and glared at me. I laughed, "Besides you know too much caffeine gives me a headache."

"Bella you have nothing to eat." She whined. I rolled my eyes. There was plenty, she just didn't want to make anything.

"The cabinets are filled, Alice."

"Yeah, but I have to cook what's in them." what did I tell you. When I'm right, I'm right.

"There's leftover eggplant parmesan in the fridge."

"Ooh! Wonderful! So…" I knew she had a motive, "What happened at the mall?"

"What makes you think something happened? I went, I ate, and I left. Was there supposed to be more?" in inquired.

"No, but I see love in your near future."

"Oh, so is this another reading from the 'All Seeing Ally'? " I questioned. Alice was always playing the 'I'm clairvoyant' card, though she was usually right about the things she _sees_.

"I just had a feeling something is about to change for you, that's all." she said pulling her plate of food from the microwave and sitting at the table with me.

"Well I don't know if it's all tha-"

"Hot! Hot! Hot!" Alice cried. I laughed as I got up to get her a glass of milk to soothe the burning.

"Alice you have to let it cool or at least blow on it first."

"Mmmmhmmm," she mumbled as she nearly drank the whole glass in one sip.

"As you were saying."

"It's nothing, Alice. I just ran into these twin boys,." I admitted with a shrug as if it were nothing. Truth is I couldn't stop thinking about the little crumb-snatchers.

"Ran into twins how?" she said taking another bit now that her food that was now cool.

"Well, Angie and I were leaving and these two little boy grabbed hold of me. They lost their father and I bought them ice cream while waiting for him to find us."

"They just grabbed hold of you? And what?" she asked curiously. I should have known better. Alice loved to have every single detail no matter how minute. So I told her the whole story from start to finish.

"So he didn't say a word to you? Nothing, no thank you?" she asked appalled. That's strange; she normally didn't act so offended.

"I didn't exactly give him a chance to respond or say anything after my phone call. Besides, he ticked me off assuming I kidnapped his children."

"So…what was his name?" she asked hesitantly.

"Cullen. Agent Edward Cullen.'

"Agent?" she asked incredulously.

"No, not agent. But he said his name like he was 007. I felt a need to poke fun at him." I smiled at the memory. He was not happy about my little joke. "Hmmm."

"What does that mean, hmmm?"

"Oh, nothing, just that he has the same sirname as you." I thought. "Cousin?"

"Maybe," she said thoughtfully. "But I think you like him. You two would make a good couple."

"You've never met him. How would you kn- Never mind." How Alice seemed to be 'All Knowing' I'll never know. Don't think I want to know. But, you'll never catch me betting against Alice.

"I just do." She said confidently.

"Well, no matter anyway. I will probably never see him again. Besides, he is too full of himself for me. Arrogant. And I don't date."

"You will soon enough."

"What." She mumbled something I didn't catch.

"If you say so." She was too calm. Alice doesn't do calm, ever!

_*** * *RFM* * ***_

_**Thanks a million orange snow slides!**_


	3. Buzz Kill

_**Onward with the read!**_

"I'm sorry, Johnson, but what do you expect me to do? I told you to call HR about that. It's not my responsibility. You are in charge of those five Junior Editors because they fall under your department." Why he couldn't take care of his own problems I could never understand. He's an executive for a goodness sakes; he answers and deals with the problems not put them off on other people.

"Okay, but this happened over two weeks ago. I sent my memo in three weeks ago. If you couldn't handle the position that was given to you, and you knew you couldn't, then you shouldn't have taken it just so you can walk around and say you're an exec."

This is a never ending conversation. I feel like I'm just a broken record. Every month he comes along with a problem that could have been prevented if he would have done his job.

"Look, I not fixing this one for you. Do the job that y-" I was cut short by two little bronze haired boys attacking me.

_How does this always happen to me. _I thought laughing to myself.

Johnson was still on the line talking about what he needed from me. I didn't have time to deal with this. Every other day he needed something. I was suddenly very grateful I didn't work in the office anymore. I just decided to hang up on him, with Johnson, less was always more.

"Hey, boys!" I said cheerfully to the two crumb-snatchers gripping onto my legs tightly.

"Bella, we missed you!" they both shouted as they leaned back to look at me, smiles upon their faces.

"What happened boys? Did you lose your father again?" I asked worried for them. Last time they seemed to be so broken when they said they couldn't find their father.

"No. We saw you from up there when you walked in here." Kyle said gesturing to the upper level of the mall. Oh how I hated the mall, but it was the only place that had what I was looking for without going into Seattle. "Do you have a baby, Bella?"

"No. My friend's mother is having a baby, so I'm buying a gift for her." I said reaching down picking the two of them up in my arms and sitting them on an unoccupied check out counter near by.

"Why did you run away from your father again?" I asked gently so not to make them think I was upset. I wasn't upset, I was worried about what could have happened to them had they not reached me before someone else saw them.

"We wanted to see you, Bella. We didn't mean to upset you. We just haven't seen you in a long time that's all." Kevin said as his eyes started to shine.

I leaned forward and wrapped them both in a tight hug. I loved those two so much.

Whoa! Where did that come from? Love? Love them! How could I love them, I didn't even know them. Yes, there was this strange pull I had toward them, but to call it love was a bit much. I don't even want kids to have such an attachment to these two.

It wasn't that I didn't like kids, I just never really saw myself having any. I wasn't even sure I would get married to be able to have any. Most little girls dream of growing up, getting married, having 2.5 kids, a golden retriever and a white picket fence. It may have been the American dream, but it wasn't mine. A husband and a family was the last thing on my mind.

But maybe I'm a little bias to the fact. I've always been what you would call 'another face in the crowd'. I was plain. There was nothing special or extraordinary about me. I had brown hair, flat brown eyed and a heart shaped face. Not the features every boy would dream about at night.

Ben, Angie's boyfriend, would always tell me that in high school, the boys would have bets about me, but I don't think they were the kind that they made about pretty girls.

Alice was relentless about getting me to stop dressing like a seventh grader when we were in high school. "Seventh graders don't even dress like that anymore. Get with the program," was her saying of the decade, followed by an unbelievable long speech about personal presentation.

"You'll never get a husband dressing like that," she'd say. I'm sorry, but I like my jean and T-shirts and I'm not changing for any man. He liked me as I came or he didn't. End of discussion. I didn't matter anyway, I'd probably never marry. It would just be me and Goober.

I leaned back a little to look at Kevin and Kyle. Their face slightly pinkish with the tears they were trying to hold back.

"Pumpkin Bear,-" where did that come from? "I'm not upset with you. I just worry about you, that's all. And what about your father? He must be worried sick about the two of you." I said rubbing their faces lightly.

"We're sorry, Bella." Kevin said looking down.

"It's okay." I said giving them a reassuring hug.

"Bella?" Kyle asked sheepishly.

"Yeah."

"Can I have a nickname too." I smiled.

"How about…Puddin' Cup? You'll be my two favorite snacks."

"You're gonna eat us?" they said in unison, falling into hysterical pieces.

"Kevin! Kyle! Boys, where are you?" I heard their father, Agent Cullen, call out franticly.

"Cullen, Edward Cullen," I remember him saying. I still can't get over how full off himself he was. His sense of humor sucks though; I thought my 007 joke was right on time, but that's just me. It probably didn't help that Frank was on my side when he thought I kidnapped his boys. The look on his pace was classic. . . something I'll never forget.

To think I would kidnap his kids and then treat them to ice cream the same place I snatched them. And out in the open no doubt. Who takes kids and then sits with them where they took them?

Guess that explains his flat personality and nonexistent sense of humor. I wonder how he'll take seeing me again; with his boys.

"Edward!" I shouted waving my hand over my head so he could see me, "We're over here."

He looked my direction and that classic look flashed across his again. He looked astonished, grateful, confused with a little worry thrown in there too. Probably thought I was stalking him and my life's pleasure was wrapped up in making him worry by snatching his boys for a few.

"Boys!" he said as he reached us and wrapped his arms around them. "I was so worried about you. Why do you keep running off like that?" he asked with a stern face.

"We wanted to see, Bella." they said in unison as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

I laughed at that, but Edward just glared at me. _There goes that nonexistent humor again. _Though, I guess having your children running off to God knows where can be stressful. Anything could have happened to them. I know I was worried when they found me saying they couldn't find their father the first time.

"I'm not sure whether to thank you or call the police. Although, that didn't work out so well for me last time. How I keep running into you so much I'll never know." He said crossing his arms over that sleek, lean, toned defined chest.

"For starters, you can thank me. But, you're welcomed to call the police if you like, although, I think you're going to have a hard time explaining how I kidnapped your boys when they clearly and admittedly came to find me. And we don't keep running into each other." I said as I leaned against the counter in between Kevin and Kyle.

"This is the second time I've met you in nearly three weeks and that's only because your boys like me better." I said trying to lighten the mood a bit. Well, his mood, mine was fine. He was the one with that silver spoon up the wrong end.

He just looked at me for a moment.

"Well, I guess I should say thank you then." I waited. I hope he didn't think that was the apology, because it was a poor excuse for one. Maybe I should urge him on a bit.

"Well?" I prompted. He just looked a me again. Irritation flashed across his features again.

Well damn! I thought it was funny. I'm must be losing my touch. I really need to work on some new material. He just doesn't bite. No wonder they keep running. He's a stick in the mud. A killjoy. I'll be sure to never take him to the club with Alice and I.

Buzz Kill is written all over him.

"Boys, you can't keep running off like that. A stranger could have taken one or both of you." He said directing his attention back to his boys.

Maybe he needs to get laid. Not getting any can do a lot to a man. I remember when Emmett got cut off for doing something stupid. He was a grump for two months. Alice couldn't take it. It got so bad that she stopped visiting him until Rosalie decided he wasn't in the dog house anymore.

"But Bella isn't a stranger. We were with her." Kyle said defiantly to Edward. I can see he has his hands full.

"Bu-" I cut him off before he could say something stupid or hurt their feelings. He was really not very happy, but with good reason. However, getting upset with your children is not the way to get your point across.

"I am a stranger you guys."

"No, Bella. You're nice."

_There goes that defiant streak again._

"We love you, Bella." Kevin admitted. I hugged them both.

"I love both of you, too, Pumpkin Bear. But, lucky for you guys, I turned out to be a good stranger. Not all strangers are good." I said releasing them, stooping down to their level resting my hands on my knees.

"There are different kinds of strangers. There are good strangers and wolf stranger. And a wolf stranger could have taken you two before you were able to reach me."

"Wolf stranger!" they gasped.

"Wolf stranger." I repeated.

"What's a wolf stranger?" Kyle asked for the both of them. They seem both scared and intrigued by the idea.

"Well, there are two kinds of strangers. The ones, like me, that are good strangers and the wolf kind. They are not good strangers and they could do not so nice things to little boys. "

"But we can tell, can't we?" Kevin asked.

"Nope. You see that woman over there?" I asked pointing to their right that I recognized as Mrs. Dragner, the secretary at my firm. They nodded, "Do you think she's a wolf stranger or a good stranger?"

"Wolf stranger." They said immediately.

"Wrong." The looked flabbergasted, "I know her and she is a very nice woman and has two adult children of her own. What about that one over there?" I asked pointing to a redheaded woman to their left with a kind face.

"Good!"

"Well, I don't know. You see, you can never tell if someone is good or bad by just looking at them. You thought the first one was bad, but she is really very nice. Just because someone looks a little scary doesn't mean they are, but it doesn't mean they're not."

"So what do we do?" Kevin asked again. He was talking a lot to be so shy.

"You have to stay with your daddy and hold his hand at all times." I said taking one of theirs in mine, "And you have to stop running off. You never know where a wolf stranger is and if you're not with daddy they could take you away from daddy."

"NO!" they shouted throwing their little arms around me.

"It's okay boys." I said reassuringly while rubbing soothing circles on their backs, "So long as you each hold daddy's hands, never run away from him again and don't talk to any stranger unless he says it's okay, you will both be fine."

"Really?"

"Yes, really, Puddin' Cup. Now go give your daddy a big hug, okay." I said holding their hands as they jumped down from the counter.

Kevin and Kyle ran over to Edward and hugged his knees tightly. Edward bent down to encircle his boys in a hug that reminded me of the ones Charlie used to give me.

After a moment or two the boys released their father and turned to look at me again.

"Do you promise to see us again and play with us, Bella." Kyle asked sheepishly looking at me from up under his eyelashes.

Now there was a site to melt your heart if there ever was one. I had no idea what to say to them. It was strange having run into the again the way I did in less than three weeks, but I couldn't promise I would see them again. I couldn't promise them something I couldn't for sure keep. I wouldn't do it to them.

"Pumpkin Bear, Puddin' Cup." I said getting down to their level, "Do you know if tomorrow is going to be a good day or a bad day?" I asked. They shook their heads wildly.

"Well, just like you don't know what tomorrow is going to bring, neither do I. So I don't want to make you a promise I can't keep. But, if I ever see you again, I promise that I will play with you," I said somberly. "If I could only know what the future would bring," I whispered to myself.

"Me too." I guess they heard me.

I really didn't know how I was supposed to respond that question. They were so young and so impressionable that they would believe just about anything. Precocious as they may be, they trusted me and I could not make a promise to them I could not keep. I would not do to they what happen to me. Life is too unpredictable and broken promises to young children can be detrimental to their well being.

"But, that's good enough, Bella. We know you love us."

"I do, boys, I really do." I said giving them a big hug.

"Thank you." Edward said as I released the boys and stood back up. That was the second time I forgot he was there. Those boys can get you wrapped you in their own little bubble.

Could this be the apology I was supposed to get earlier. Could Agent Cullen really be ready and willing to come down from his throne to be as humble as us minions? Amazing what getting left out of the loop can do for you.

"For?" I asked wanting to drag it out of the. I was going to milk this for all its worth.

"For keeping a eye on my boy's and telling them what you did." Truthfully, I didn't know I had it in me. I have never spent this much time around children in my life.

"I do what I can." He scowled. Damn!

* * * RMF * * *

_**Thanks a million orange colored sand boxes!**_


	4. Barnes & Noble

_**Onward with the read!**_

"Ahhhhh! Goober! Get. Off. OF. M-Ahhhh!" I heard Alice scream as she walked into my house. This always happened to her when she used the key.

I got up from my desk and made my way to the foyer where Alice lay on the floor with Goober on top of her, licking her face. Alice looked like a child with my three year old, fully grown, Great Dane on top of her. The scene was fit for a commercial. I couldn't help but laugh.

Alice heard my laughing and turned her head to glare at me. She tried to say something, but all she got was more of Goober's lovable kisses. I tried to contain myself long enough to pull her from up under him.

As soon as I grasped Alice's hand, Goober got off of her and went back to his pillow. If I was being honest, I sort of trained him to playfully attack Alice every time she came over. I guess it was my way of paying her back for all the makeovers and seemingly endless shopping trips.

"Geez, Bella. You have to do something about him." She said as she brushed herself off. She was livid. I tried to suppress my smirk as I followed her into the kitchen.

I should have known. She is always eating. Good thing I just finished cooking.

"Whatever do you mean, Alice?"

"Goober. He attacks me every time I come over. I swear, if I didn't know any better, I'd say he was trained to do that." She said as she stopped fixing her plate of stroganoff.

"You did it didn't you?" she asked. I just looked at her. She had no proof of it.

"Bella!" she shouted, dragging out the syllables of my name, "I can't believe you did that."

"I don't know what you're talking about. And even if I did, you have no proof of such occurrences." She just glared at me and went back to fixing her plate.

She never could keep her mind placed on anything when it came to shopping or food. How Jasper can deal with her and her shopping addiction is beyond me. It's just not natural to be that in love with cloths, but I suppose that's why she owns her own clothing store.

But usually, people tend not to care too much for what they do. You make ice cream; you don't eat or care much for it, but not Alice. She is completely obsessed with cloths. I think it's the shopping part that really gets her.

Going into a store and looking for cloths, trying them on and then going to the next store and doing the same thing all over again. She never seems to get enough of it. It's her fix and without it, she's just not Alice.

When she found out that I was shopping online without her, she went ballistic. She had this whole thing about it. I really don't even know what her reasoning for it was, but the next day she had charts and graphs to prove her point.

I tried reasoning with her, saying that she could do my shopping for me online, but that only resulted in a Power Point presentation of the 'Pro's and Con's of Shopping Online'.

Maybe it's OCD. I should talk to Jasper about this. If anyone could, he could convince her to get help. Ha! I can just see it now. The last time we played Truth or Dare, Emmett dared Alice to give up shopping for a month. She practically pulled out what little bit of hair she had.

We caught her down stairs one night watching the _Home Shopping Network_ ordering everything that came up. It took Carlisle, Jasper and Emmett fifteen minutes to wrestle her to the floor so Esme could get the remote from her.

I would have helped, but I was too busy rolling on the floor in hysterics. I have never in my life been so full of laughter. I laughed so hard that my sides were hurting for two days. Alice was on TV restriction for the remainder of the month. And all her credit cards were temporarily canceled so she couldn't sneak and shop; which she tried to do once or twice.

Oh, but when she finally got her shopping prev-

"BELLA!" I heard Alice shout.

"What? Why are you shouting at me? I'm right here for Pete's sake."

"Because I have been calling your name for forever."

"I doubt it was forever. I'm pretty sure osteoporosis would have kicked in and you'd be much shorter now." She glared.

"Bella, you will never get a husband with that cynical sense of humor you have."

"And who said I wanted to get married?"

"What about that guy you met a couple months ago? Did anything happen there?" she asked changing the subject. I knew she had a point. If it wasn't one person nagging me about one thing, it was her and her 'Benefits of Marriage'. Oh, and of course she had charts and graphs for that too.

"What guy? I haven't met anybody." I asked confused.

"The guy with the twins." She now had a gleam in her eye.

"Oh, you mean 007 with the silver spoon in the wrong end." I said thinking about him and his adorably precocious boys. I don't know why, but I miss those two crumb snatchers.

"Bella, that's rude." Alice said with her hands on her tiny hips.

I hopped down from the stools at the island counter in the kitchen and made my way to the family room. I could tell this was going to be one of those conversations. I guess I could let her have it; it's been a while since she has truly nagged me about anything, but I was going to be comfortable if I had to endure another 'Bella you need to get married' speeches.

I'm starting to see a pattern here. Maybe she really does have a condition. Maybe I should talk to her about it. It couldn't hurt.

"Bella, I do not have a condition or OCD and they help prove the point which doesn't seem to be working for you."

I ignored her denial. I knew better. "Alice, there is nothing rude about it. He has a silver spoon, it's obvious and it's not in a good place." I rise my hand to stop her, "And before you start, there is nothing going on between us. I don't even have his number and don't want it either."

"Bella, he's perfect for you. Further more, you're perfect for him."

"What is this? Another vision from the All Seeing Ally?" I asked. She was always having some sort of vision, "And after the last time, I can_ see_ that he couldn't be anymore wrong for me. Besides, how would you know? You never even met him."

"What do you mean, after the last time? Have you seen him more than once?"

"Yes." I answered simply. With Alice, it's best to only answer what she asks, when she asks.

"When? You didn't tell me you saw him again. I thought I was your best friend?" she asked with a pout. How cute.

"The boys saw me when I went to the mall to get Angie's mom's baby shower gift, and I didn't invite you because I didn't want to spend the whole day in the mall. You are my best friend and I love you, but sometimes you make a big deal out of nothing, Alice."

Alice was never happy when she was left out of the loop. She needed to know the when, where, how, why; basically the whole kit-and-kaboodle. But, if I had said something, I would have been talking about it forever.

"Bella, I just want to see you as happy as I am with Jasper. You're all alone in this house. It's just you and Goober. No matter how much you say you don't want to get married, I know you want to." Wonderful! Shrink Alice has just emerged.

"I know you're scared that what happened to your parents could happen to you, and that you don't want to lose anyone, but you can't keep yourself all cooped up in this house editing all the time."

I knew Alice was worried about me, which is why she always feels a need to point out the benefits of everything, but it's also the reason I don't tell her to much of anything unless she asks first. I hate it when she worries about me. She doesn't need to burden herself with my personal issues. We're friends, but that doesn't mean I need to dump all my problems on her.

"Alice, I know you love me and I love you too." I said leaning over to hug her, "But, I assure you, you have nothing to worry about. I am fine, I promise."

I hated it when I had to lie to Alice, but if this is what I had to do to give her peace of mind, then so be it. At, least it wasn't a complete lie.

That's right. Just disregard the fact that omission is still a lie.

* * *RMF* * *

"Ma'am, is thereanythingI can help you find?" asked some sales guy, who seemed to be talking about more than books. I have a couple books in my hand and reading the back of another. Did it look like I needed help?

"No, I'm just fine."

"Well, I'm Nathan. So just let me know if you need help. I'll be right over there when you're ready." All I did was nod and went back to my book. I didn't want to give him the wrong idea. Did he really think I would hunt him down if I needed something? Could he think I was going to do something with him? How full of yourself could you be?

I really have to find another Barnes & Noble to go to. Every time I come in here, there is some creepy sales associate trying to offer more than just their assistance.

I gathered the books I came for, plus the two new ones I had and headed over to one of the many lounge chairs that they had and sat down to read the first few chapters of the two new books I had.

Most of the books that I buy are replacements for the old and tethered ones or some I've read in passing that I needed to add to my collection. But I always bought at least one book I've never read and then read the first few chapters of it. I am a firm believer in the fact that the first three and last three chapters of a book will always tell about a book better than the back will.

I know it seems cooky to read the end of a book first, but there it is. I have nothing to say about it. That's just me. Maybe that's why I edit starting with the end of manuscripts instead of the beginning like everyone else.

As I settled into the chair and started reading, I couldn't seem to concentrate. My mind kept wondering to no where in particular. I decided to just sit there until I could focus.

It wasn't very often that I couldn't concentrate on what I was reading. Books are my passion and reading was always my peaceful place. When I couldn't deal with things or I just needed to relax, I would pull out a book and loss myself in the land of literature.

A place where fairy tales came true; the prejudice and the prideful fell in love and the good guy always got the girl, while the villain always got what was coming to him. The world of fiction; sometimes sad and heartbreaking, was always the only place that I truly felt I belonged.

"BELLA! BELLA! BELLA!" I looked up as I heard my name being shouted and was met by to bronze haired little boys jumping into my lap, knocking my books to the floor.

"My two favorite snacks! What are you doing here?" I asked as I hugged them tightly. I hadn't realized just how much I missed them until just now.

"Daddy had to get a book and we came along." Kevin answered as they bounced in my lap happy to see me as I was them.

"You didn't run from your daddy again did you, boys?" I said looking up for their father. The last thing I needed was for him to really think I was stalking him and his boys. That would mean that my score would surely plummet to the bottom. We can't have that.

But when I looked to my left, Edward was sanding there watching me interacting with his boys. The strangest look was on his face. I couldn't tell if the look was a pleased or an unpleased one.

"No, we asked him if we could come see you first. We remembered what you said about the wolf people." Kyle said with big eyes.

"Daddy! Come say hi to Bella. She's getting books too." He said waving his hand at Edward, "Wait, you are getting books aren't you?"

"Yes. I came to get some books."

"What kind of books are you getting, Bella." I reached over and picked up a couple of the books and showed it to them.

"Bella, your books look boring. They have no pictures in them." I could only laugh at this. Of course they would want something with pictures in it.

"Well, what kind of books do you like?" they both thought for a moment before answering. They were just too adorable; I couldn't get enough.

"Bella, can we show you what kind of books we like," Kevin hesitated a little before he continued, "and maybe play a little over there." He asked pointing to the children's section of the store.

At that point I remembered their father was there. I had completely forgotten he was there again. How I keep forgetting about him I don't know.

Maybe it's his prize winning personality.

I looked at him to see if it was okay. After all, they were his boys; it only seemed fair to see what he thought. When he silently gave his okay, I turned back to the boys.

"You can, but make sure you stay where we can still see you, okay?" they both nodded and jumped down from my lap and raced to the children's section.

After the boys were off into their own little world, I picked up the book I had previously been reading and continued. I saw no point in trying to hold a conversation with Edward. He just seemed so stiff.

I've known dead people with more life than him.

I sensed Edward sit down in the chair to my right, but he didn't say anything. I wasn't going to be the first to speak, the last time I tried that…mmm, if looks could kill. I figure if I don't say anything, I can't loose anymore points.

I continued reading for about twenty minutes, glancing up at the boys every couple minutes to make sure they were okay. Then I heard Edward clear his throat from beside me, but I didn't even glance his direction.

"The boys have talked about you nonstop for the past two months. They are completely taken with you."

Did he just speak to me? And politely at that. No accusations or hostile looks, just polite.

"Well, what did you expect?" I just couldn't help myself. This may very well be my down fall.

"I guess your right. You do seem to have a way with children; them really."

"It's hard not to love them." I can't believe I'm actually having a pleasant conversation with Mr. Silver Spoon.

"They don't usually take to anyone so quickly, especially Kevin. Do you have children of your own?"

"Me? No!" was he crazy? Children? Me?

"You sound like you don't like children and don't want them." He aid looking at me strangely.

"I like children just fine; it's usually other people's kids I don't like. As for having them, well, I'm not opposed to the _idea_, but I'm not exactly for it either." I said as I looked at his boys playing and reading through books.

"I don't see how that's possible, but okay. I just want to apologize though."

Apologize?

"For?" I asked incredulously.

"For my behavior the last to times we met and for accusing you of kidnapping my boys."

"Forgiven."

"Can I ask you a question?" he said looking at me intently.

"You just did." He scowled, but laughed nonetheless.

I guess that makes it a draw; not upset or happy. Guess I still got it after all.

"Every time we run into you, it's the middle of the day. Do you work and if you do, what do you do?" I couldn't help but laugh a little. I guess it could appear that I didn't work.

Rarely did I ever work during the day. I preferred to do my editing at night. I don't know why, but why it came to working 9-5 just didn't set well with me, which is why I work from home now.

To all his own.

I'm not exactly nocturnal, more so, I just need very little sleep. Besides, I can't sleep more than four or five hours at a time if I'm lucky. Why waste time trying to sleep long hours if you can get the same rest in four hours as you can in eight.

Twilight is my favorite part of the day.

"I could say the same for you."

"I'm a concert pianist." He answered simply. I would have expected that statement to come out smugly, but no.

"How's that working out for you?"

"Fine. I get to be with Kevin and Kyle during the day and most nights. When I have practice or a show, they stay with my parents; which works out nicely since they love being over there and my mother can never seem to get enough of her grandchildren." He answered with a chuckle.

"If you don't mind me asking, where is their mother? They told me they didn't have a mother." Edward sighed heavily at that question. I guess it was a touchy subject.

"You don't have to answer. I just wondered, but it's none of my business." I said looking away from him.

"No, it's okay. It's just that their mother didn't love them."

"How is that even possible?" I asked. Well, there's a stupid question, I knew exactly how it could. I knew better than anyone.

"I'm still trying to figure that out myself. After the boys were born, she dropped them off at my door with a note and a notarized letter signed by the judge saying that she had relinquished her rights. I found out months later that she died in a car crash. She was an orphan and had no adopted family."

"Edward, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have asked."

"It's fine, really. My brother got me drunk one night. . . There were no feelings involved. I just feel bad for my boys not having a mother. My mother and their aunts, well one of their aunts, do what they can, but it's not the same."

Don't I know it.

"So, are you ever going to tell me what you do or are you going to keep it top secret?" he asked laughing.

"I'm an editor. I work from home and next to never edit during the daylight hours which is why my days are free."

"A magazine editor?"

"Gosh, no. I don't even read magazines; I edit novels for New Moon Publishing."

"They don't care that you don't work during the day."

"That's exactly why I work from home. We have deadlines, but so long as the revised manuscripts are sent in on time, they don't care how or when I do it."

"I have something to ask of you." He paused, collecting himself. "My boys have grown more attached to you than anyone else they know. I don't know what it is about you, but my boys love being with you. They are constantly asking about you and wanting to go out all the time to see if we can run into you." He paused again looking down, I guess struggling with what he was about to ask me. It couldn't be that bad. Could it?

"Would it be okay if I have your number so they boys can stay in contact with you and maybe make a play date or something?" He finally finished nervously.

"Sure it's for the boys and not you? I know my stylish good looks can be mighty appeasing." He just laughed. I don't see anything funny about that. Was he trying to call me ugly? I know I'm no Audrey Hepburn, but I'm not exactly ugly, just plain.

"I don't mean to laugh. But you said that with such a straight face."

So now you choose to have a sense of humor. Nice timing.

I didn't answer him. He was having a little too much fun with this. I think I liked him better when he was a stick in the mud. This is not working out in my favor.

"Sorry."

"Better be."

"So?"

"No problem." I said as I took his phone and put my number in it. I'm actually glad he asked. If he didn't, I just might have. I missed those boys so much. I couldn't think about anything other than them most nights.

He took his phone from me and called mine so that I would have his. Just as I finished filling out all his information, Kevin and Kyle can back with about six books each.

"Look, Bella. We found books that we like to read."

"Yeah, they're not like yours, they have words _and _pictures."

"How many of these do you have at home?"

"We have a lot of books at home, but we don't have any of these." Kevin said looking a little sad.

"I guess we are going to have to fix that." I said taking their books, gathering my load and making my way to the cashier.

"Bella, you don't have to do this. I can buy their books."

"I never said you couldn't."

"Be-"

"Edward, I want to, okay. I know you're well and able, but this is what I _want_ to do for them. End of discussion," I said with finality. Edward looked like he wanted to protest, but he bit his tongue.

"Bella, when will we see you again?" Kyle asked looking hopeful.

"How about Sunday?"

* * *RMF* * *

_**Thanks a million orange rain drops**__! _


	5. Feeling For The First Time

_**(Disclaimer on profile)**_

_**Onward with the read!**_

I lay in my bed unable to sleep. All I could do was think about her. She was beautiful; saucy, but beautiful. Her heart shaped face with eyes the color of Coca Cola; I could just loose myself in them forever. She was like no one I had ever met. She had this air and manner about herself that just made her…there's not even a word that would describe her. Do her justice. She was just out of this world.

I couldn't even begin to think about how she was with my boys. The way she spoke with them; got down on their level and spoke so that they could understand, but still not making them feel like the little children they were. She spoke to them as if they were little grown people. As if they were people who deserved as much respect as the next.

No one had ever taken to my boy as she did. Most people look at them and see two little terrors. I won't lie; they can be a bit of a hand full at times, especially that Kyle. He had a defiant streak in him and Kevin usually followed behind and did anything he did. I know that when they get older, Kevin will be the one to keep them out of trouble most days; he tends to think things through a little more before he does them.

But with Bella, she saw my boy as they truly are. She held them, kissed them, and comforted them. She treated them as her own; like she was their mother. Mother? I hadn't given much thought to finding them a mother. Of course I want them to have a mother, they need one and my family does nothing but talk about me finding a suitable wife and mother for the boys. I wanted that too, but all the women I meet are ding-batty, dim-witted, selfish, superficial Valley Girl wannabe's. And none of them liked my boys.

They treated them like they had the Bubonic Plague or something. My boys were boys-boys, and they showed it, but they are four and not as bad as some I've seen. How could they think that they would go anywhere with me and not like my boys? Dealing with me meant dealing with my boys. We were a package deal. You couldn't get one without the other. All or none.

We were a ready made family.

My boys have never liked any of the women that I dated, though I wouldn't call what we did _dating._ One date doesn't suffice for the title of dating. It usually took one date for me to know that I could never spend more that a few hours with most of them. Some of them I could tell right off the bat, but I decided that I would give them a chance and not judge them so harshly. I don't believe that all first impressions should be lasting ones. You couldn't get the whole story about someone from just one meeting.

I could marry someone and spend the rest off my life getting to know them and die still not knowing every single detail that makes them who they are. Maybe because they had yet to discover those details for themselves. I learned that philosophy from my mother. She was the kindest woman you could ever meet and always believed in giving someone a chance.

She was the one who really wanted me to give those women a chance. That maybe they were nervous the first time we met and didn't make a good impression. I will admit that there were a few that seemed to have a little more personality than when I first met them, but they detested my boys.

I find it kind of ironic that the one woman that loves my boys like her own, was the one I hadn't asked on a date. Not that she would say yes. She seemed to find pleasure in torturing me to no end. I knew it was foolish of me to think she would be stalking us, but after three _mysterious _meetings, it makes a guy start to wonder.

She has the most fire in one of her dainty little fingers than I could sum up from a thousand people. The way she spoke to me that first time I met her; I had never experienced such…bluntness. She was straight to the point and didn't care about what I thought about her. She told it like it was and I have to say I respect her for it.

Because of her, there would be no Amber Alert out for my boys and they were safe at home with me; where they belonged. Though now this home seems oddly empty. As if something…or someone is missing from it. For the first time in my twenty six years, I felt as if something was missing. I was missing out on something so great.

Strangely enough, I somehow know that, that person, the great something that was missing could be Bella. I hadn't realized all this time, my whole life; I had been going through it holding my breath. But when I met Bella, I could breathe for the first time. I'd only met her three times in the last two months or so, but I couldn't get her out of my mind. I knew virtually nothing about her, but I knew I was falling in love with her all ready.

She'd awakened something in me that I thought was never there. Made me feel things I had never felt before. Made me _feel_. She touched my soul; like no one has ever been able to do and will ever be able to do. No matter what happens from here on out, she will be as much a part of me as my boys are.

"DADDY! DADDY! DADDY!" I heard my boy's call as they came barreled down the hall to my room. I looked at the clock and realized it was seven in the morning. I had gotten no sleep at all and now my boys were up.

"Daddy, get up. If you don't get up we will be late." Kevin shouted at me with a stern look I had never seen from him before. He was so excited. Kevin was never excited, a little joyous from time to time, but never fully excited.

"Daddy, Bella will be here any minute and you have to get ready so we won't be late." Kyle pleaded pulling my arm to get me up.

"Alright, alright. I'm up, I'm up."

"Good, now let's go. When have to eat, bathe and be dressed for when Bella gets here."

"Kevin, you do know its seven o'clock and Bella won't be here until almost lunch time. We have plenty of time to eat and get ready. We have a whole three hours left."

"Daddy, this sort of attitude is unacceptable."

"Yeah, unacceptable." Kyle said following suit.

**Kevin POV**

I see this is going to be harder than I thought. Daddy is always so stubborn. He never sees it. Bella is perfect for him and all he wants to do is lie around and make excuses. I am not going to let him mess this up. Kyle and I want Bella to be our mommy.

We had a talk last night and we decide that she was the one we wanted. She was pretty, and smart, and she talked and played with us and she didn't take any of daddy's crap.

I know that's a bad word that we learned from Uncle Emmett, but that's what he always say's daddy has. He say's daddy needs to get his crap together. That he needed someone that wouldn't take his crap any more.

Daddy got into a play fight with Uncle Emmett the way Kyle and I do because he kept saying that bad word around us. I didn't think that crap was that bad. It didn't seem as bad as that 'S' word that Auntie Rose say's all the time, but Daddy say's that anything we can't spell, we shouldn't say.

That made an impression, because Kyle stopped talking for a whole two days. TWO! We can't spell much except our names and a few small words like fox or something, so Kyle didn't talk. He took what daddy said to heart as our Gamma put it. So now when we learn a new word we have to go to him to see if it's _regulation, _whatever that means.

But all I know is if he doesn't get out of this bed, this instant and get ready, I will have his regulation.

**Back to Edward**

"Daddy!" I heard my boys whine. I might as well get up or they will throw the biggest tantrum. I for one am not in the mood to deal with that again. I never knew my boys could be so…so…passive-aggressively persuasive. When I told them I was going to drop them off at the grandmother's house while I went to the book store, they went crazy. I had never seen such a sight, but I guess they were right. They refused to let me go anywhere without them for fear of missing Bella and we did see Bella. If they found out I had ran into her and they were not there, I would have had two very unhappy, sad little boys on my hands.

And this explains why they are pulling me out of bed at just past the crack of dawn. Bella had promised to see them again today. The boys had missed her so much over the past two months and knowing that they would see her again and to know when, made them the happiest I had ever seen them.

It was like Christmas times a hundred around here for the past four days. They were bouncing off the walls happily as they impatiently waited for today and speculated about what she had planned.

The boys were easier to put to sleep because I had Bella's number and they were able to talk to her everyday, which made them very excited.

I had been so nervous asking for her number, I'm sure she could tell.

**Flashback**

"_BELLA! BELLA! BELLA!" I heard my boys call. Could it be? Could I have really run into her again, here?_

"_My two favorite snacks! What are you doing here?" she spoke gleefully to my boys. Never has anyone taken to my boys as she has._

"_Daddy had to get a book and we came along." Kevin answered as they bounced in Bella's lap happily._

"_You didn't run from your daddy again did you, boys?" she asked looking at me. I'm sure she thought that I believed she was stalking us. Though a little worried by the idea, I couldn't help but think she found that amusing._

_She was poking fun at me I could tell. She always had this gleam in here eyes that told me that there was more going on inside that beautiful head of hers than I could ever comprehend. _

"_No, we asked him if we could come see you first. We remembered what you said about the wolf people." Kyle said with big eyes._

"_Daddy! Come say hi to, Bella. She's getting books too." He said waving me over to them, "Wait, you are getting books aren't you?"_

"_Yes. I, too, came to get some books." So she likes to read. I wonder what kind of books she reads. I bet she has great taste._

_Great taste? What kind of…why would I care what kind of taste in books she has. _

"_What kind of books are you getting, Bella?" In response she reached over and picked up a couple of the books she had and showed them._

"_Bella, your books look boring. They have no pictures in them." My boys did have picky taste in the kind of books they read. Surely no pictures would fall into the unacceptable book list._

_Alice taught them a new word every month and for the whole month they would use it every chance they had. Everything was unacceptable to them now. _

"_Well, what kind of books do you like?" They both thought for a moment before answering. _

"_Bella, can we show you what kind of books we like," Kevin hesitated a little before he continued, "and maybe play a little over there." He asked pointing to the children's section of the store._

_Bella looked up at me a little startled. I guess forgetting that I was there. I sensed she had a habit of tuning me out whenever I was around. I nodded my head letting her know it was okay for them to go and play awhile. Truthfully, I wouldn't mind being alone with her for a while._

"_You can, but make sure you stay where we can still see you, okay?" They both nodded and jumped down from her lap and raced to the children's section._

_After the boys were gone, Bella picked up the book she had previously been reading and continued. She didn't seem to want to talk to me, but I couldn't stand there and not talk to her. I felt that I needed to at least clear the air a bit._

_I walked over to a chair on her right and sat down. She didn't even look at me; she just continued to read, as I walked past her. Every so often she would look up and check on my boys to make sure they were okay. _

_I could tell she cared very deeply for my boys. _

_After about twenty minutes I was starting to get antsy. Bella hadn't so much as acknowledged that I was sitting beside her. I knew she was pissed at me about the way I accused her, but what did she expect. My boys were missing; though I guess when I realized that she hadn't taken them I could have thanked her for keeping them safe._

_I decided to stop stalling and just speak to her._

"_The boys have talked about you nonstop for the past two months. They are completely taken with you."_

_Bella looked a little stunned that I was speaking to her. I guess she didn't expect me to be nice to her. _

"_Well, what did you expect?" _

_What kind of question is that? Bella is a bit of a smart ass, but I guess I already knew that. It seemed to just come out effortlessly for her. _

"_I guess your right. You do seem to have a way with children; them really." No matter how much of a smart-ass she was, I couldn't deny the fact that she had a way with my boys._

"_It's hard not to love them." she said looking at my boys with loving eyes. The eyes of a mother. I couldn't believe she loved my boys. The first person not family to love my boys. I don't know why, but that made my heart soar._

"_They don't usually take to anyone so quickly, especially Kevin. Do you have children of your own?"_

"_Me? No!" she looked at me like I was crazy. My boys never seem to like anyone; she had a way about her and a way with my boys. I could only assume that she had had children._

_But I guess its right what Alice say's about people who assume things. _

"_You sound like you don't like children and don't want them." _

"_I like children just fine; it's usually other people's kids I don't like. As for having them, well, I'm not opposed to the idea, but I'm not exactly for it either." What kind of answer was that? It was like she was talking in riddles. What did she mean by the __**idea**__ of having kids? _

"_I don't see how that's possible, but okay. I just want to apologize though." _

"_For?" she asked incredulously. I guess she wasn't expecting that one either._

"_For my behavior the last two times we met and for accusing you of kidnapping my boys."_

"_Forgiven." That was simple. _

"_Can I ask you a question?" _

"_You just did." And the hits just keep on coming. If I didn't know any better, I'd say that she was enjoying this._

"_Every time we run into you, it's the middle of the day. Do you work and if you do, what do you do?" I couldn't help but laugh a little. I guess it could appear that I didn't work. _

"_I could say the same for you." Changing the subject I see. She's hiding something, but I'll play along._

"_I'm a concert pianist." I answered simply._

"_How's that working out for you?"_

"_Fine. I get to be with Kevin and Kyle during the day and most nights. When I have practice or a show, they stay with my parents, which works out nicely since they love being with them and my mother can never seem to get enough of her grandchildren." I said laughing a little. My mother adored those two. She could never get enough of them..._

"_If you don't mind me asking, where is their mother? They told me they didn't have a mother." I sighed heavily. That was a hard question to answer. My boys deserved so much more, but instead they only received a small portion of what they truly deserved._

"_You don't have to answer. I just wondered, but it's none of my business." Bella said apologetically. _

"_No, it's okay. It's just that their mother didn't love them."_

"_How is that even possible?" she seemed just as shocked as I was the day I found them._

"_I'm still trying to figure that out myself. After the boys were born, she dropped them off at my door with a note and a notarized letter signed by the judge saying that she had relinquished her parental rights. I found out months later that she died in a car crash. She was orphaned and had no other family."_

"_Edward, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have asked."_

"_It's fine, really. My brother got me drunk one night and I had a one night stand; there were no feeling involved. I just feel bad for my boys not having a mother. My mother and their aunts, well one of their aunts, try to do all they can, but it's not the same." I said thinking about them. without my family, I'm not sure I could have raised my boys all alone._

"_So, are you ever going to tell me what you do or are you going to keep it top secret?" I asked not forgetting that she never answered and leading the conversation to what I hoped would put us in a lighter mood._

"_I'm an editor. I work from home and next to never edit during the daylight hours which is why my days are free."_

"_A magazine editor?"_

"_Gosh, no. I don't even read magazines; I edit novels for New Moon Publishing." New Moon Publishing was one of the biggest publishing companies in the Northwest. She must be a phenomenal editor to work for them and from home at that._

"_They don't care that you don't work during the day."_

"_That's exactly why I work from home. We have deadlines, but so long as the revised versions are sent in on time, they don't care how you do it."_

"_I have something to ask of you." I paused, "my boys have grown more attached to you than anyone else they know. I don't know what it is about you, but my boys love you. They are constantly asking about you and wanting to go out all the time to see if we can run into you." I paused again looking away from her. _

_Her eyes could keep you for days._

"_Would it be okay if I have your number so they boys can stay in contact with you and maybe make a play date or something?" I finally asked nervously._

"_Sure it's for the boys and not you? I know my stylish looks can be mighty appeasing." I couldn't help but laugh at that. She had no idea how close to the truth she was. I really did want my boys to be able to see her, but this would benefit me too. _

_She had an overly sarcastic wit about herself and I felt as if it came from some other place than just being a natural born smart-ass. I would get to know her. Find out what makes her tick and pick it apart. I can't understand it, but no matter how much she gets under my skin; I can't help but feel a loss when she's not around._

"_I don't mean to laugh. But you said that with such a straight face." She didn't seem too happy about the fact that I laughed at her. I didn't mean to offend her; she was in fact the most beautiful creature have ever laid eyes on. _

"_Sorry."_

"_Better be."_

"_So?"_

"_No problem." I didn't expect her to come right out and say yes, but who am I to complain._

I was pulled from my thoughts by the door bell. I can't believe how quickly three hours has passed. It seems like just minutes ago I was running water for the boys' bath and now Bella was at my door.

I put down the dish rag and made my way to the door where my overly jubilant boys were waiting for me to open the door.

I opened the door slowly, prolonging the moment, but what I saw when the door was fully open was more than I ever expected to see.

*** * *RMF* * ***

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	6. Wake up Call

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Ring! Ring! Ring!

"Oh, in the name of all that is holy." Who could be calling at this time? I turned over and looked at my clock; it was just after six. Who is calling me at six in the morning? I would strangle who ever it was.

"Hello," I said groggily. It was SIX in the morning and I was not going to make any attempt at making my voice sound nice. If they had a problem, too bad; they should have called at a decent hour.

"Isabella? Isabella, is that you?"

"Bella. And of course it's me, Renee, who else would it be at 6:27 in the morning in my house?"

"I'm your mother, Isabella. I suggest you call me such," she said with her stern voice. So now she calls herself a mother. Ha! That's a load off my back now that we have that all cleared up.

"Hello, _mother!"_ I said with mock enthusiasm, "How are you doing this fine morning?"

"Isabella, it-"

"Bella."

"It's not very becoming of a young woman to be such a smart ass. You shouldn't speak to me in such a manner. Did I not teach you better?"

"I don't recall _you_ teaching me at all." I muttered just loud enough for her to her it. I was not in the mood to deal with this today.

"Excuse me young lady?"

"Renee, is there a reason you called me at this ungodly hour? Because I was sleeping and if you wanted to chit-chat, you could have called later."

"When I call later in the day, you don't pick up. And you refuse to give me your cell number."

"Renee, it's six in the morning. I hardly think that you really needed to call _this_ early to get a hold of me."

"So if I called at eleven, you would picked you?" she asked knowingly. What is it that she thought she knew?

"No. I have a play date, so I won't be home until later."

"See! I can never reach you. Ever!" and she claims she wasn't a drama major, "Wait. What do you mean play date? What man? Why don't I know you're dating?" did she really want me to answer that last question?

"I spoke to you a few days ago. I am not dating anyone, so there is nothing for you to know about."

"So what is this whole play date mess you speak of?"

"First, it's not mess. Secondly, a play date is just what it sounds like. I have a date to play with some friends."

"I hope it's not with those two boys I heard about the other week. I don't think it's a good idea for you to be seeing them. You're not their mother. Let their mother play with them." Why must she always butt into my life?

Every time she calls all she has are complaints about my life. You need to get married Isabella. You need to get your life together Isabella. You need, you need, you need is all she is good for. If I wanted to know what I needed, I'd read a Dr. Phil book.

I thought my life was pretty good. I have a career I love, own my own house and car. I thought I did okay for myself, but nothing was ever good enough for 'Mommy Dearest.' She always had to nit-pick about everything. And she wonders why I don't talk to her.

"I didn't ask your opinion on what I should be doing. They don't have a mother and I'm well aware of the fact that I am not their mother seeing how as I have no children."

"Well, I just think that-"

"And I thank you to keep your opinion to yourself, unless asked otherwise. Now, if you will excuse me, I have to go out in a few hours and I would like to have more than an hour of sleep."

"Well I never." I'm sure you haven't, "I'll just let you go then. Good bye Isabella." she said as she abruptly hung up.

The nerve that woman had, calling me at this hour just to lecture me on my life. I love her ability to ruin my day before it even started. No one in the history of mankind can spoil a perfectly good day before the sun even rose over the hills. And the worst part, now I can't even go back to sleep.

I only had one hour of sleep before she woke me up. She new I went to bed around five and yet she still calls. Wanting to speak to me, please! I spoke to her two days ago and she is doing this to get back at me.

I wouldn't tell her what she wanted to hear, so she wakes me up knowing full well that I was in bed and wouldn't be able to go back to sleep. I may only need a few hours, but when I don't get those, I'm not the happiest camper around. Today was not a day that I needed to be Ms. Grouch.

Those boys were looking for me to be happy and play with them. I couldn't be mean or in a bad mood with them. They didn't deserve that sort of treatment and it wasn't their fault to begin with. I just don't get my mother; she really bakes my noodle.

I decided to just get up and do some house work with the extra time I had on my hands. There was no point in wasting all of this perfectly usable time now that I have it.

I went in the bathroom and turned the shower as high as it would go. I need to relax and a nice hot shower was always the perfect cure for my ailing nerves after one of my mother's famous calls.

I stepped in to the shower and the hot steam pierced my skin, but I soon adjusted to the heat and allowed it to calm my over-active nerves. As my muscles un-tightened, I grabbed my strawberry and freesia shampoo and massaged it into my scalp, allowing the sent to over take me.

When I stepped out I felt refreshed and rejuvenated. It was as if my mother hadn't called at all, the perfect kind of day if you ask me. Mood already took a shot at me, but I was determined not to let it keep me down.

When I stepped into the family room, Goober was laid out on his back looking up at me sleepily.

"I guess she interrupted your sleep too, huh, boy? Not to worry, I took care of it. At least you got some sleep." Goober got up and followed me in the kitchen as I started to make coffee.

He stretched out on his doggy bed watching me as I moved around the kitchen making some peaches and cream oatmeal. After a few minutes he nudged his bowl telling me he wanted to eat too.

After I put his food in the bowl and sat down to eat myself. I cleaned up the house and did some laundry. Before I knew it, it was time for me to get ready. This would be my first planned meeting with the boy, which I think is a big step up from random stalker.

After I double checked to see if I had everything packed in my truck, I made my way to Edward's house. I wasn't the best at following directions. Emmett once cracked a joke saying that I couldn't find my way out of a paper bag. After that I tackled him, my intention was to harm him, but I was the one that ended up in the emergency room. How that happened I'll never know and it just proved to bring about a new round of jokes from drear ol' Emmett.

Thank all that is holy that I have a GPS system in here. I'm glad I let Emmett, Jasper, and Carlisle talk me into it when I got a new truck. They had been such a big help to me after my father died. Without them I don't know what I would have done. Charlie was all I had and when he died, I thought I was going to die too.

Carlisle and Esme even wanted me to move in with them until I was able to be alone, but I didn't feel right about that. They had always done so much for my father and I, and I couldn't ask them to take care of me again. Though I never lived with them, they always treated me as one of their own. It made me feel like I actually had a family for once.

Charlie and I were great together, just the two of us, but we always felt incomplete. There was something missing for the two of us. We made do with what we had and leaned on those that we had around us when we had to and we did just fine by ourselves.

Charlie was both mother and father to me and I couldn't have asked for a better dad than him. I don't know many men who could have done for me what he did under the circumstances. My dad was the dad that dads were made of.

Boy I sound like an ad for Fathers Day. Maybe I could get a contract and write Father's Day cards.

I pulled into a circular drive way that had the most beautiful house sitting behind it. It appeared to be a ranch with an up stairs, on a rather large piece of property. I never understood why they called it that. It just seemed to be a two story house, but I guess it follow certain guide lines to be considered two stories.

It had light colored gray and strawberry pink brick. It had a garden, which I'm sure his mother was responsible for, in front. I just couldn't picture him as the gardening type.

Planters hung under each of the windows and two by the door that was painted a light gray color to match the brick on the house. The walkway from the driveway to the door was lined in Cars pathway lights. It was nice to see that Edward allowed his children some creative leeway in the decor of the house.

As I made my way to the door with Goober in toe, I was suddenly hit with nervousness that had I had never felt before. I don't know why I'm so nervous. I had seen those boys on more than one occasion and now would be no different. Only this time, it was planed and Edward wouldn't feel like I was stalking him.

I stopped at the door for a moment to regain my composure. I couldn't let them see me all frazzled and such. I blame it on the six AM wake up call from Mommy Dearest. There was absolutely no need to be nervous.

Now if only I could relay to my nervous system what my mind knows.

Ding! Dang! Dong!

Well there's a door bell for you. Fancy, but I'm sure the boys got a kick out of it every time it rang through out the house. Those were the types of things that always had me tickled when I was little. It's always the small things that children enjoy, not something extravagant or expensive, but just something small and worthwhile.

I heard the boys on the other side shouting for Edward to open the door as they jumped up and down. Boy they were excited. A moment later the door began to slowly open. Why was it taking him so long? Was he trying to kill me with suspense? Well it was not going to work.

When the door finally opened I was met with the jubilant shrills and laughs that only children could make. It was the most wonderful sound in the world, to hear children laugh. It was like no other laugh and all children seemed to have the ability to laugh and make everyone smile around them.

"A dog!" they both shouted in unison as they tackled Goober with hugs. Goober almost looked to be a little scared of the boys, which I found terribly funny considering he was more than twice their size…combined.

"Bella, is this your dog?" Kyle asked as I stepped into the foyer of Edward's house.

"Sure is and you boys get to spend the whole day with him, too."

"Really?" they both asked.

"Yes." I said laughing, "Really."

"Wow! That's famtasmical! He's so big!" Kevin said still petting my horse sized dog.

"Famtasmical?" I asked looking at Edward for the first time. He was wearing light washed jeans and a black…muscle shirt? I guess that's what that was, but whatever it was, he was wearing it well.

"He means, fantastical. His-"

"That's what he said, famtasmical." Kyle said sticking up for his bother. So cute! Edward and I both laughed as their attention went back to torturing Goober.

"Aunt Ally teaches them a new word every month and they use it whenever they get the chance."

"How's that working out for ya?" I knew I was pushing the limits, once again, but he was too easy.

Edward just looked at me for a moment before answering. Guess he was deciding on whether to be upset or let it go. I personally think it would be in his best interest to let it go, and then maybe I'll let up some. Maybe…mmm…maybe not!

"Don't even ask," he finally said. "Last month it was unacceptable. Everything they didn't like was unacceptable." He said with a sigh. I thought it was just plain cute.

"Daddy, can we take Goober to the backyard and play?"

"No, Kyle. We are going to get ready and leave and I'm sure you can play with him wherever Bella is taking us." He said looking at me for an answer. I just stood there acting as if I didn't understand his questioning look.

When the boys ran off to put on their shoes and jackets, Edward led me into the living room, which was all different shades of beige. The carpet was beige; the couch and the pillows were two-tone beige. The only ounce of color was the navy blue floor rug.

Either Edward was more boring than I thought or he just _really_ liked beige. I'm guessing it's not his favorite color. No one _likes_ beige as a rule. It's a neutral color used to offset things, but it wasn't offsetting anything here, it was the offset. How someone needs something to offset the offset is beyond me.

His house was neat as a pin and sparkling clean with the occasional toy here or there. I'm not saying he needed to be a slob, but jeez, can you get some life in this place? No pictures, now art work, nothing; just beige blah-ness every where.

"So, Goober?" he said or asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah, what about him?"

"You named your dog Goober," he commented as if his point was so obvious.

"It's my favorite candy and he's my favorite dog."

"How many dogs have you had?"

"Just the one."

"You've only had one and he's your favorite. There's no other dog to base that off of."

"Point?" did he always have to be such a stick in the mud? Why couldn't things just _be_? Was it necessary to have a definite reason for everything?

Uh, no!

"Ready!" the boys exclaimed as they came tearing into the room.

After we transferred the boys' car seats to my truck and had them both buckled in and Goober tucked safely away in the back, we were off. I slipped in a BOA of Shel Silverstein's "Where the Sidewalk Ends" so the boys would have something to occupy their minds on the way to the dog park. I was always fond of all the poems that seemed to never have a point, but made sense nonetheless. If these two had even a fraction of the intelligence that I knew they had, they would love these silly riddles or poems.

"'Where the Sidewalk Ends' on CD?" Edward asked a little shocked.

"I thought the boys would like it. I loved to read these poems when I was growing up. I found them terribly fascinating."

"I thought you were a lover of the classics?"

"I am, but I like a lot of other things too. My dad used to read the poems to me every night before bed. I guess I just have a soft spot for it."

Damnit, mood! How did the conversation have such an unlikely turn of events? Lemony Snicket's must be at work again. Why he and mood always decide to gang up on me at the most unwanted time…

Edward seemed just as uncomfortable with the turn of mood as I was. I could tell he was curious about my relationship with my dad, but I could also see that he knew it was a sensitive subject as well. I silently thanked him for not asking about that. I still wasn't quite able to talk about him or even think about him without falling apart.

What we need is a new topic.

"I was just wondering why you don't have any pictures of the boys in the house. I noticed that there wasn't one of you and them anywhere, as far as I could tell."

"Oh, that. My sister decided to take them all down last night, rambling on about them not being up to par. Then she brought out a graph to show the damage to the boys' memory and intelligence level with 'such shabby frame work.' Her words not mine." All I could do was laugh. She sounded so much like Alice. I would have to arrange for them to meet.

I'm sure _that _would be the beginning of my demise.

"This is a nice car you have. I take it being an executive editor at New Moon Publishing has its perks."

"Yeah, I guess. I had an old 1950s, 40s…all I can say is it was old."

"What was it?" he asked genuinely interested.

"An old Ford truck. I got it from a friend of the family, but…a few years ago my best friend and her two brothers and father thought it was time I get something a little more reliable. It didn't go over sixty and the gas mileage; you don't even want to know. But I still have her, can't bring myself to get rid of her."

"Well, this certainly is a nice choice. My sister has a BMW and I'm sure she would love to get her hands under the hood."

"It's nice, but it wasn't my first choice for a car. I wanted something a little less…ostentatious I guess you could say. But Emmy said I needed something newer that I couldn't damage the way I do myself and something with a GPS since I have no directional skills."

Before Edward could comment, we herd loud laughter coming from the backseat. Kevin and Kyle were doubled over in laughter from, I assume, the BOA they were listening to. They were laughing so hard that their faces were red and their eyes were glistening with unshed tears from not being able to breath.

"Breath, boys." I said looking at them through the rearview mirror.

They both sat back trying to gain control of their breathing, small giggles still escaping them in the process. I had a feeling that they would like this book. No child could escape the undeniably ridiculous tales of 'Where the Sidewalk Ends.'

After the boys' breathing was under control, Edward and I focused on the destination. After about fifteen minutes, we finally arrived at the dog park. It took a little longer because I went back to my side of town before I headed out. I knew how to get there, as many times as I had been before, but only from my house and New Moon Headquarters. From anywhere else, that was a problem. I could have easily used the GPS system, but I felt like more of an adult doing it on my own.

It's a poor excuse, but it's what I need to sleep at night.

Edward and I unbuckled the boys so they could climb out of the car. After they were set free, I moved to the back to let Goober loose and readied myself for a fun filled day at the park.

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	7. Day at the Park

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I can't believe how long it took us to get here. The park Bella took us to was not but fifteen minutes from where we lived. When she showed up with her Great Dane; looked more like a horse, and told the boys that they got to play with him, I figured we were going to the park. There are only two parks this close to the city, Meyer Dog Recreational Park and Seattle State Park. Seeing how Seattle State Park had a leash law, I could only presume we were going to Meyer Dog Recreational Park.

At first I thought she had to make a stop, but then I realized that she was taking the scenic route. Why she would drive, seemingly, past the park just to double back from the other side, threw me for a loop. With the price of gas and driving an X5, which takes premium, I just didn't get it. I'll just make a mental note to ask her about that later.

The boys were ripping and running through the park with Goober on their tails. I was a little apprehensive to let them go off with him being, at least, the size of a baby elephant. But Goober, despite his size and scare factor, seemed to be harmless and very child friendly. The boys had always wanted a dog, but I didn't want one to ruin the house or attack the boys one day.

I am sure to have a battle about it now. There was no arguing that a dog would be dangerous or unevenly tempered with Bella's mild-mannered and lovable one around. Though all dogs are not like Bella's, I would have a hard time explaining that to them.

I'll have to remember to thank her for bringing him along and sparking that fuse again.

Bella had obviously packed us lunch and a lot of food at that. The picnic basket she had was huge. It wasn't heavy for me, but I could tell that she would have had a hard time carrying it herself, unless of course she just hitched it on the back of her horse.

Bella grabbed some blankets, a bag, and a mini cooler before she closed and locked her truck. We made our way to a very large Silver Maple tree. Its shading was nice, but unneeded seeing how we didn't get that much sun, though today was proving to be a nice warm day. It was a nice change of pace.

"Can you grab that end so we can get it straight?" I grabbed two ends of the large blanket and helped Bella lay it out. After we had the first down, she wanted to put down one more for good measures.

I watched her as she set the picnic basket in one corner of the blanket and the cooler next to it. She seemed to have a system to how she was setting it up. I didn't know what kind of person she was when it came to organization, but I got the feeling that she thought my house was too neat. I can't say how I knew, but I did, and I also felt like she was the free bird type, though now I'm not so sure.

Every time I thought I had her figured out, she would change up and surprise me. She never did the predictable; it was always the unexpected with Bella. One moment she was free as a bird and the next she was just the opposite. I could tell that she would have no trouble keeping up with my boys.

The one thing that still got me was that she basically said she never really wanted children or even thought about having them. She clearly stated that the idea of them was okay, but actually having them was a whole different story. How that could be perplexed me to no end.

She was so good with my boys, not to mention, the fact that they adored her as much as she did them. She was perfect with them. She had a natural mothering instinct about herself. Not knowing what someone else does with their children and taking that into account when she was with them, buying them toys and comforting them when they needed it. She even bought an audio book for them to listen to so they wouldn't be bored.

If that doesn't say natural born mother, then I don't know what does. She reminded me so much of my mother, Esme, and how she raised my siblings and I. She always seemed to know what we needed, when we needed it, and how to make us smile when all we wanted to do was cry.

She was a mother like no other and I'm sure that Bella would be just as great a mother as mine, if only she allowed herself to see what I see when she's with my boys.

"Do you think you brought enough food? You know, my boys are finicky eaters." I said as I looked in the basket to see what all she brought.

"It's a smorgasbord, I know."

"Smorgas- what?" What did she just say? Sometime I have a hard time telling if she's coming or going.

"Haven't you ever seen Charlotte's Web? Templeton, the rat, has a smorgasbord at the state fair?" I just looked at her quizzically. "It's basically…a feast of gigantic proportions. You just have to see it for yourself," she said shaking her head.

I knew nothing of the movie. I think I might have heard of it in passing once, but it didn't really ring any bells.

"Is that a bad thing? I mean, me not knowing about that movie with two small children."

"It's okay; we will educate you on all things children." Was that a yes? Was she mocking me?

"What are you going to do with all this food that is going to be left over? They won't eat that much."

"Oh, I don't know about that, but I'm not afraid of an appetite and my best friend will eat it when she comes over. She's always hungry and tiny as all get out."

"Well, Emmy, is it, should have plenty to eat."

"I'm sure he'll help himself; he always does." Himself? Was her friend a woman or a man? Both? Never mind, I don't even want to know.

"Boys, come and eat something so you don't pass out on me, okay?"

My boys stopped their roughhousing with Goober and made their way to us. How does she always manage to get my boys to do whatever she asks? Whenever I call them to eat, you'd swear I was taking them to get teeth pulled and not to eat. I have never seen my boys respond to food so quickly in their lives.

I was worried that they weren't eating enough. Girls I could understand, but with boys, I expected them to be eating me out of house and home pretty soon. The doctor said that it was normal for young children, girls or boys, to be finicky eaters at this age. He assured me that it would change, as they got older.

"Bella, did you see it? Goober caught the ball when we threw it to him," Kevin said excited. There has been such a big change in him since Bella came into their-our lives.

"Yeah, it was famtasmical!" Kyle commented.

"Wow! He never does that for me. I guess Goober really likes you. That does seem famtasmical," she said with the biggest smile.

"No, not famtasmical. Famtasmical. That's how you say it."

"Fantastical?"

"Yeah, that's it."

"Oh, well excuse me. You boys are so smart!" she said and the boys beamed.

"Let's get some food and liquids into you so you can be big and strong like daddy."

Bella pulled out some sandwiches, chips, and PowerAde for the boys first. I couldn't believe that they both ate two sandwiches and shared a medium size PowerAde. Sometimes, they never even ate that much in one day.

"How do you do that?"

"Do what?" she asked startled by my question.

"Get them to eat that much. It's like pulling teeth for me to get them to eat."

"I don't know what you're talking about. You were right here when they asked for more food. Maybe they just don't like your cooking."

"Putting meat between two pieces of bread or peanut butter and jelly is hardly cooking."

"Then what's your excuse?" she asked all too amused. I guess I should have just left it alone.

"Don't worry about it," she said laughing at my expense, "children are funny when it comes to eating."

"Bella, what do you do in your free time? Other than kidnapping other people's children? "

"Aren't we Mr. Personality today!"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I usually walk around in heels with a book on top of my head, take Goober out to scare the neighbor kids; that's always good for a nice laugh, or read something non-work related." She answered, ignoring my second question.

"How, much of that is really true?"

"Well, I avoid heels, of any sort, at all cost, but I do try and work on my balance issues daily. I don't _intentionally _try and scare the neighbor kids, it just happens when I take Goober out, but it is pretty funny to see them run. And you already know I like to read. What about you?"

Bella and I talked for a while longer before the boys came back looking for Bella to play with them. Bella ran and jumped as best she could with them, I saw what she meant by balance problems. It was amazing she was still even walking.

All the times that I saw her, she was sitting, standing in place, or did very little walking. But how she managed to get through a whole day without anything broken was amazing in itself. She was a walking disaster area.

Not long after, Bella grabbed me to play with them. At first I was a little apprehensive about playing with them, but it proved to be quite enjoyable. I never really played with my boys when they were outside. I would play board games or something like that, but never outside with them.

My boys seemed to enjoy my company as they played with their new best friend. We played tag and hide and go seek, which Bella always won with one of the boys on her team. She seemed very versed in all things that had to do with children. No matter what game they wanted to play, she knew how to play it and almost always won.

After about an hour of non-stop fun, we went back to the blanket where Bella read a little to the boys. She read "Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH" by Robert C. O'Brien. I never heard of the book, but by the looks of it, it seemed a few years out of their range. But once again, Bella knows best. My boys seemed to enjoy the book that tells the tale of Mrs. Frisby who was having trouble raising her family after she lost her husband and seeked the help of others when her youngest was not well.

Not before long, the boys were all tuckered out and fast asleep between Bella and I. Kevin was snuggled into Bella's side, while Kyle was stretched out in my lap. I suddenly felt a sense of pride when I looked between the boys and Bella.

There were all sorts of families, but my little family finally felt complete at this moment. As if it had always been this way; Bella, the boys, and I on a Sunday afternoon at the park. It just felt right, the four of us, together.

I looked over at Bella and she seemed to be off in her own little world reading out loud for the boys who were now fast asleep in our arms. In one hand, Bella held the book and in the other she gingerly stroked Kevin's messy hair as she continued to read.

"Bella, I think we should leave. They're both asleep," I whispered not wanting to wake them. They were both tired after the day they had.

"Oh!' I guess she hadn't even noticed.

"Okay, I'll give you Kevin and pack the stuff up. Then we can both take them to the car and you can come back for the basket and things, while I buckled them in and heat up the truck, okay?"

"Sounds perfect." Bella gently placed Kevin in my arms so not to wake him or Kyle and packed away the rest of the food and folded the blankets. It took about ten minute for her to get it done quietly without waking the boys. When she was done she lifted Kyle from my arm and he snuggled closer to her, tightening his grip on her as we made our way to the car; Goober following along to keep watch.

It didn't take very long to get the boys and the picnic stuff loaded into the truck. After we were settled Bella set of toward my house. She appeared to be a little tired and I didn't like that.

"Would you like me to drive so you can rest a bit? You still have to drive back home after you drop us off. I would never forgive myself if something happened to you on your way home." She seemed to think about it for a minute and I thought she was going to say something smart, but she just pulled over.

I stepped out of the car as soon as she had it in park, meaning to open her door for her, but when I got around to the driver's side she had just crawled across the console. She laughed at me when she saw my face; I just ignored that and put the car in drive.

"Why did you go the long way from my house to get here? The park is only fifteen or twenty minutes from my house." She laughed a little at that.

"I am not the best with directions, which is why I have a GPS system, but I only know how to get to the park from three locations."

"Why didn't you just program it from my house or ask me? I would have told you."

"I'm sure you would have, but I was in a secretive mode earlier and asking would have spoiled that, whether you knew where we were going or not. And I didn't use the GPS because it make me feel like an adult to know how to get somewhere without help. It makes me feel better and I can sleep at night."

"Well…"

"Well, what?"

"I don't know. It's not something that you would ordinarily hear as an answer."

"I would have thought, by now, you figured out that I'm not an ordinary kind of person who thinks ordinarily. I enjoy thinking outside the box from time to time."

"I can tell." She seemed to be warming up to me; we made it the whole way home and I didn't get one smart-ass comment out of her. This was turning out to be a good ending to a good day.

During the drive I couldn't help but feel…this aura around me as I drove us back. It was similar to how I felt when we were at the park while Bella was reading. It just felt right. I found myself not wanting to see her go after she helped me bathe and change the boys and put them to bed.

When she was around it truly felt like a family was supposed to feel like. I felt the same sense of security, love, and completeness the way I did growing up. Bella made me, us feel complete. I can't say if I truly love her or if it's just the fact that she's giving us something that we have never had before.

For so long it's just been us. The Three Musketeers. The Three Amigos. We were a team and a team that didn't have a woman's touch, but now we were all experiencing something for the first time. We were learning what it was like to have someone care for us and do things just because.

My family has been a big help to us, but it isn't the same. They are aunts, uncles, and grandparents. There was no womanly or rather motherly figure around for the boys. There was no one for them to cuddle next to or love in that way, but now I feel like Kevin and Kyle found that in Bella. I could only hope she feels a fraction for my boys that they feel for her.

"So I'll call you to let you know I got home safely, Okay?"

"You're volunteering to call me? I don't have to ask?" I asked incredulously. I thought I would have to beg or something. She came across as the 'do it yourself' type. That she didn't need a man following after her to make sure she was okay. Maybe I was wrong and she really did want someone there to take care of her.

"Well I remember how you freaked out when you thought I kidnapped your boys, so I can only imagine the guilt you will feel when you think that someone has kidnapped the kidnapper."

"Funny," I said humorlessly.

"I'll call." She said simply as she walked toward her truck.

_I'll be waiting._

*** * *RMF* * ***

_**Huge thanks to my beta cherrytone!**_

_**Thanks you a million orange limoncellos! **_


	8. Sitting on the Dock of the Bay

_**(Know the deal…)**_

_**Onward with the read!**_

After the boys were off playing with Goober, Edward helped me carry the picnic basket. I was grateful that he was here to help; it had been a major struggle trying to carry that two ton basket to the truck by myself. I don't consider myself a weak person, but I was now seriously considering getting a trainer. I had to be out of shape if I couldn't carry a simple basket by myself. But, if all else fails, I would have someone to look at.

We finally reached one of my favorite places in the word. It was a one hundred year old Silver Maple tree. I wasn't a big nature buff, but I loved it in the park under this old tree. I got the impression he was the grandfather of all trees. I know there are other trees just as old and older, but I felt strangely warm and at ease when I sat under its massive branches while it's large leaves hung loosely protecting me.

Being here, in this park, under _this _tree reminded me of the days I went fishing with my dad and Grandpa Henry. I remember those days like they were yesterday. Grandpa Henry would wake me up with a plate of pancakes piled high, dripping with fresh maple syrup. There was no better way to wake up. For me, it was like waking up in a pancake heaven.

Pancakes are my Achilles heel.

All you had to do was dangle a plate of pancakes smothered in syrup and I was putty in your hands. I would comply with just about anything, and unfortunately Alice knew this and used it to her advantage.

It's almost as if Alice took a page out of my grandfather's book whenever I didn't want to go fishing so early. He would be there with a plate of steaming, molting hot, delightfully sinful pancakes. However, despite the fact that Charlie loved fishing and was a pretty early riser, being police chief and all, it was like trying to wake the dead to get him out of bed.

No matter what we did, Charlie wouldn't move. Banging pot and pans together didn't even work. Waking Charlie usually involved a bucket of ice, water and a string of profanities afterwards. It was the only time you would hear him curse, but it was the funniest thing ever.

Once, we couldn't get him to wake up and we spared him the ice bath and left him to wake on his own.

Big mistake!

_**Flashback**_

'_Bells my Bell, wake up.' I heard my Grandpa Henry call. I just groaned and rolled over; I wasn't ready to get up yet._

'_Bells my Bell, time to get up or you can't get what I have for you.' After that I smelled the delicious pancakes that were covered in fresh maple syrup._

_I immediately shot up at the sent and my grandpa laughed heartily, the one that I loved, at my eagerness to get up now. Nothing could ever keep me from my pancakes. Grandpa Henry said that I would turn into a pancake one day if I didn't stop eating them so much. I don't know how much I believe that because a couple summers ago, he said that I would have a watermelon grow in my belly because I swallowed one of the black seeds._

_I examined my stomach everyday and there was no watermelon growing in there. After that, I seriously wanted to know if Grandpa Henry was okay __**up there.**__ Dad said he was just kidding; it was a good thing too, because I was this close to asking Dr. Cullen, my best friend's dad, to surgically remove it before it got too big._

_Grandpa Henry and I sat on my bed eating the pancakes; it was our tradition. The Weekend Ritual he called it. He always made a lot of pancakes; more than I could eat at one time. _

_We called it the Leaning Tower of Pancakes._

_When we finished, we went down stairs and I helped him clean up, but first he had to get me a stool. Even though I was nine, I was still too short to completely reach in the sink; I wasn't as short as Alice, but not many people are. Grandpa would call me small fry whenever I couldn't reach something; he had all sorts of names for me, one for each occasion, but I thought the small fry one better suited Alice than me._

_As we started washing dishes, he started to sing,_

_Sittin' in the mornin' sun_

_I'll be sittin' when the evenin' comes_

_Watching the ships roll in  
And then I watch 'em roll away again, yeah_

I'm sittin' on the dock of the bay  
Watching the tide roll away  
Ooo, I'm just sittin' on the dock of the bay  
Wastin' time

I left my home in Georgia  
Headed for the 'Frisco bay  
'Cause I've had nothing to live for  
And look like nothin's gonna come my way

So I'm just gonna sit on the dock of the bay  
Watching the tide roll away  
Ooo, I'm sittin' on the dock of the bay  
Wastin' time

Look like nothing's gonna change  
Everything still remains the same  
I can't do what ten people tell me to do  
So I guess I'll remain the same, yes

Sittin' here resting my bones  
And this loneliness won't leave me alone  
It's two thousand miles I roamed  
Just to make this dock my home

Now, I'm just gonna sit at the dock of the bay  
Watching the tide roll away  
Oooo-wee, sittin' on the dock of the bay  
Wastin' time

_The whistling at the end was always my favorite part. It was grandpa's favorite song and I loved it as much as he did, but I just couldn't understand why he loved to sing it when we were going fishing. It had nothing to do with fishing. I can kinda see how it gives off the same leisure type felling…I think, but that was grandpa, always doing things and thinking the way he liked. _

'_Alright, my little bell, it's time we wake your father. He will not be a happy camper if the early bird doesn't catch the worm.'_

'_Grandpa, do worms only come out at in the morning? And why would it matter if the bird got the worm, they eat worms and we already have our own worms in a bucket in the garage.' Grandpa laughed as we headed up stairs._

'_Grandpa, what's so funny?'_

'_Nothing, my bell, nothing at all; just know that I love you. Now, lets get Charlie up.' he said still chuckling to himself as we got to dads door. _

'_I know and I love you too.'_

_We reached dad's room and the door creaked as it opened. It was always the scariest thing; it reminded me of one of those scary movies when you were trying to be quiet and the door would give away you position in the house._

_The room was completely dark except for the clock on dad's bedside table that read 4:07 AM. It was too early for the moon, but still not late enough for the sun. It's the first in-between of the day where night meets day and day meets night._

_It's one of grandpas and my favorite parts of the day. Dawn, it was the beginning of something new and great; the start of the next big adventure. The other was twilight, as grandpa called it. The time when the stars weren't quite out, but the moon was visible for all to see; sort of telling everyone that night was coming. _

_I always wondered about the man on the moon and if he was lonely up there all by himself or if he had friends there to keep him company like it had here. If there is someone there to share it with, I bet the moon would be a wonderful place to live for a while. _

_Grandpa reached over and started to gently shake dad to wake him. After a minute, when dad didn't wake up, grandpa asked for the cup of coffee he asked me to hold. After putting it under his nose, he still didn't budge. We tried to wake him until the coffee was cold._

_We always tried to use coffee to wake dad before we resorted to the ice water. Grandpa always said that dad and me were more alike than we ever realized._

_When we couldn't get dad up, grandpa decided to let dad sleep in awhile. He said that dad wouldn't sleep in too long because he got up at four in the morning to go to work and that he was conditioned to it now. _

_We decided to play a game until he got up. We ended up playing gold fish. It seemed like the appropriate game to play since we were going to be fishing in a little bit._

_By the time we were on our fifth game, I had beat grandpa three times already, but I think he let me win one of those, when dad came rushing down stairs in a frenzy. _

'_Pop! Bella! Where are you? Why didn't you wake me?' he said looking around confused. Sometimes I wonder who got it from who; maybe grandpa was around dad too much._

'_We tried, son. You wouldn't budge. I always said you and bumble bee over here were alike from the day you brought her home. But at least she woke up for her pancakes. The way you grunted and turned over, you'd a thought I offered you decafe or something.' Dad ignored grandpa as he tried to unsuccessfully hold in his laughter._

'_We are going to be so late for fishing. It's a thirty minute drive to La Push, at least, and we still have to get Billy.'_

_It's only a thirty minute drive when you drive, son.' Grandpa snickered._

'_Dad, do you have an appointment to go fishing? I didn't know you had to make a reservation to fish.'_

_orangeorangeorange_

'_So you never did say what took you so long this morning.' Uncle Billy said as he hooked another worm to the line and cast it back into the water._

'_Maybe we should take Bella to that shallow spot down river tomorrow. I've been meaning to teach her how to fly fish.' Dad commented not answering Uncle Billy. This was going to be good._

'_Didn't wake up for the coffee?'_

"_Nope. Thought we'd spare him the ice bath today. Last weekend he nearly killed himself.' Grandpa said barely able to keep himself from falling over board as he and Uncle Billy laughed. Dad just sat there scowling at them._

_I tuned them out after awhile; it was always the same thing every week. Grandpa and Uncle Billy would laugh at dad, and then they would go onto tell stories about the others' most embarrassing moments._

_They were all pretty funny stories, but today I just wanted to relax. I wasn't fishing, it just seemed too cruel to me, so I stuck to helping grandpa clean and cook it. I figured if I didn't actually have anything to do with the catching of the fish; it didn't make me a fish murderer. Besides, after dealing with Alice and her forever-changing wardrobe, I was in no mood to be as evil as she was._

_The lake was always my peaceful place. If there was a time I wanted to just get away or escape Alice's designer wrath, I would come here with grandpa and just relax. Alice swore that she would never step foot here again after that one incident two years ago and she's held true to that promise. _

_I would climb up into this old Weeping Willow and read a book, while grandpa would go out to the dock and whistle that famous tune while he fished for nothing in particular._

_From the trees I felt like I could see the world or at least the world of Forks. It was the most beautiful place on earth. _

_The water of the lake was dark and murky, but it had a soothing welcome-ness to it that was inescapable. The greenery of the trees with their moss covered trunks and branches; the ferns and other small plant life that clung to each other as they sat around admiring their home made it all seem so magical._

_When the sun would seep through the canopies just right, lighting the mist as it fell, it really seemed like something out of one of my books. It was like nothing you could ever imagine. _

'_What are you thinkin' about, my little bell?' _

'_About how much I love it here.' Grandpa just smiled my favorite smile and took off his lucky fishing hat with all its tassels, bat hooks, patches and pins all over it and placed it on my head._

_I loved it when he let me wear it. It made me feel special because I was the only one that he let wear it._

_The hat was a brownish green color and had all sorts of stuff on it. Each and every pin, tassel, and patch had a story behind it. His favorite was the one in the front, dead center. It said, 'Everybody should believe in something, I believe I'll go fishing.' It was his favorite saying. _

_Grandpa said that because he said it so much, even when he wasn't going fishing, Grandma Judy decided she was going to sew it into the front of his hat._

_Grandma Judy was an expert. That was what she did too; she was what they called a seamstress, but she could crochet and knit too. _

_Grandma tried to teach me to sew and knit, but I kept pricking my finger with the needles. Even on a sewing machine I still got my finger every time. After that she stuck to teaching me to crochet. I got pretty good too; she said I was a natural at it._

_A couple years ago she died. It was a hard time for all of us. I was so close to her and grandpa, well, he was heart broken. They had been together since they were fifteen and got married when they were twenty. Married for over fifty years; they were the perfect couple and it nearly killed him to see her go._

_I had never seen him so broken before, he wouldn't even go fishing and that was his single most favorite thing to do. He just sat in his room and starred at her spot in the bed. I would sit in his lap sometimes while he rocked back and forth in her rocking chair._

_She would sit here for hours and just knit or crochet nothing in particular. It was __**her**__ peaceful place like fishing was for him._

_After about a month, grandpa moved in with me and dad. It was the best to have him there all the time. They lived real close; close enough that dad would let me walk if it wasn't too late, but having him next door to me, in the next room, was better. _

'_Are you going to fish today, squirt?'_

'_Uncle Billy, you know I don't like fishing.' He just laughed._

'_Oh yes, that's right. It's murder to fish. I remember that argument you made perfectly. You petitioned City Counsel to stop all fishing because it was detrimental to fish well being. Charlie, I still don't see why you let her do that anyway.' Uncle Billy commented amused._

'_And I will not be fly fishing either. If you're going to torture the fish that way, the least you could do is eat them and stop endlessly torturing them.'_

'_What was I supposed to do, lock her up?' dad asked appalled. But somehow I got the feeling he wasn't all that appalled by the idea._

'_Well it was a nonviolent protest with her, Alice, and Emmett. Now if they started to throw those water balloons, then that's when you would have needed to worry.' Grandpa snickered amused._

'_You know, that Emmett kid carries a sling-shot that has a lot of punch. He could have done some damage to the court house of yours.' Uncle Billy said picking fun at dad. _

_They went on like that for a while. It was there favorite pass time; why grown men felt the need to pick at each other was beyond my nine year old comprehension. Grandpa said it was an old man thing._

_**End Flashback**_

Maybe that's why I loved this tree so much; it reminded me of my grandpa Henry. That summer my whole life changed, nothing was ever the same again after that.

*** * *RMF* * ***

_**Thank my beta please, cherrytone, I do!**_

_**Thanks a million orange pineapples raining from a sky of orange clouds into a world of orange oceanic pressure with the essence of orange Southeastern sun blossoms! **_


	9. Surprise, Movie Night!

_**Onward with the read!**_

"Bella, Bella, Bella!" I heard Alice call from the front door as she opened it.

"Ugh!" I groaned loudly. I could tell she was in one of her jubilant moods; that was never a good sign.

"What is it, Bella?"

"Alice." I said simply.

"Oh, she must be in one of her ever happy moods today; sounds fun." Angela snickered.

"You wouldn't think it was so funny if you were here with me. Remember this day next time Alice accidentally shows up to one of our lunches."

"You wouldn't?" she squeaked through the phone. Got her right where I want her.

"Why, what ever do you mean? Oh, gotta go, bye." I hung up. She would be mulling that over for a while.

"Bella, how are you? Did you have fun? What are we up to today? Did you save me anything? How did it go? Do you two have another date planned? I knew you would make such a good couple. I knew it!" she squealed; I rolled my eyes.

"I'm fine Alice. We-"

"Fabulous, insecure, neurotic and emotional" she chided in.

"Okay, I'm great, thank you." I said through my teeth, "We had fun. The boys had a blast playing with goober. And tired the-"

"Where is the beast anyway? He didn't attack me." Alice looked around nervously as if he would just jump out at anytime. She looked like she was on the run from somebody.

"My baby is not a beast or an attack dog. And he's outside in the backyard scaring the kids next door."

"You know you shouldn't do that. He's a sweet dog, but lets face it, if you don't know him to be the playful mongrel we know him to be, he's pretty scary."

"I don't do it on purpose. He's in my backyard that's fenced in. How am I doing that on purpose?"

"Stop changing the subject and continue." Alice said forgetting she was the one who cut in.

"_We_ are not up to anything tonight, but I am having movie night tonight. And yes there is plenty of-"she cut me off again.

"Wait, who are you having a movie night with? Are you replacing me with a new BFF? I thought we were sisters. How could you?" she feigned pouted; I laughed.

"Aren't we a little old to still be using 'BFF?' And of course, I love you, like the sister I wish I never had so she could play Barbie Bella, so apparently, I didn't do anything."

"You're not funny." Alice said pouting. I patted her on the head.

"It's okay, I won't tell anyone." She huffed leaning back into the coach.

"I made a comment about having enough food for a smorgasbord and Edward had no idea what I was talking about. He has, virtually, never heard of _Charlotte's Web_, so I am going to treat the boys, all of them, to a movie night. I got _Ratatouille_ as well." I said getting up to get the movies I bought for the boys today to show them to Alice.

Alice ooh-ed and awed at some of the movies I had bought. They were all old classics that today's young generation knew nothing about. I had _An American Trail: Fievil Goes West_, _Pinocchio_, _The Reluctant Dragon_, _Swiss Family Robinson_, _Jungle Book_, _The Rescuers_, _The Never Ending Story_, _Adventures in Dinosaur City_, _101 Dalmatians_, _Air Bud_, and _That Darn Cat_ and so many more.

"Bella I don't think you'll be able to watch all these tonight." Alice snickered.

"I know that, Alice, they are for anytime. I got what I thought they would enjoy. I went to this specialty DVD place and I saw some of my old favorites and I couldn't help myself." I really couldn't, I saw all these movies and I wasn't sure if I wanted them for myself or for the boys. I'll admit I did buy the _Aladdin_ and the _Little Mermaid_ series for myself.

"I would have bought more, but the owner saw me struggling and told me I could come back anytime to get more. It's a good thing too; I would have spent a couple thousand dollars if he didn't stop me"

"Not that you couldn't afford it. So… who doesn't like shopping again?"

"Shut up."

"I knew you would succumb to the ways of, Alice."

"Anyway there is plenty of food left." Before I completely finished she was skipping to the kitchen, "Alice are you sure you're not pregnant? You have always had a big appetite, it's not hard to see why you and Emmett are related, but this is getting ridiculous."

"I think I would know when I was pregnant, thank you very much," she said rummaging through my Frigidaire.

"Jeez, Bella, were you trying to feed an army with this much food?"

"Well they are growing boys. They ate quite a bit too, but everything went well and it was not a date, and we do not go well together."

"Wait, there were no details there. What happened?" she asked curiously looking up from her plate of potato salad.

"You know I don't just openly give details and nothing happened. We got there, the boys played, we ate, Edward and I talked, we both played with the boy and I read them a story. Period."

"Nothing else?" she asked shocked.

"Other than the fact that he was on his period for the better part of the beginning, no; everything went smoothly for the most part."

"What do you mean his period?"

"Alice, he doesn't play with his boys! Who doesn't play with there children? I asked him to play with us and he looked around as if the was a congregation of germs, dirt and bacteria of to get him." I commented completely taken.

"Did he ever play with you?"

"He did eventually; and his house, Alice. It's so…so…Clean! No one with two small boys is that clean. Not that he has to be messy or something, but his entire house, except the boys' room, it all different shades of beige. Who has fifty different shades of beige? The only color was a navy blue rug!"

"Some people like beige." Alice said slyly; too slyly.

"I know this isn't coming from you of all people. No one likes beige. People who _like_ beige are afraid of color and just don't know what to do with it without making it look like a clown in a paint shop just blow up.'

"That's what I've been saying." Said throwing her hands in the air exasperatedly.

"What?"

"About beige, that is; no one likes it. I guess I was just trying to play devils advocate here, you have been so hard on the poor boy," Alice said in a southern bell accent.

"Poor boy my foot," I scoffed.

"Who drove?"

"I did, but he offered to drive back since I was a little tired. He said he'd feel guilty if he let me drive then I had to go home and had an accident."

"Did you let him drive? Without a fuss?" she said as she grabbed some of the leftover chicken Edward and I didn't eat.

"I don't fuss, but yes." I admitted.

"So the boys had a lot of fun then?"

"I'm thinking so. They were asleep before were left the park. I helped Edward bathe and change them before I left. I couldn't leave him to do it by himself."

"Aren't we the martyr?"

"Anyway," I said rolling my eyes, "I need to get ready for the movie night. I have to go to the grocery store before I leave."

"What do they want?"

"I don't know. It's a surprise." Alice squealed so loud, I thought I was going to go deaf.

She started bouncing around the kitchen forgetting about her half eaten chicken. She went from cupboard to cupboard looking for what _she_ needed, jotting down stuff along the way.

After five hours, three trips to Publix and a mini makeover, I was ready to go with all the fixin's. Alice, somehow, had the perfect outfit for me to wear. It was a deep blue velour jump suit. She said it was made for nights like tonight.

"Okay, that's everything. Now it's time to go."

"Call me tomorrow and let me know what time we are getting together, okay?' she said skipping off to her car.

"O-kay." I said slowly. That was weird; Alice didn't even go into the pros and cons of why she should come along. No moral support to force use together or demanding to know what he and the boys looked like. Not that I was complaining or anything, it was nice not to have a debate for once, but I was really starting to wonder if she was pregnant.

It just wasn't normal for Alice to be so…easy going about things. Surely she would have wanted to meet the infamous Agent Cullen, but no. Not one single word. I'll just have to convince her to see a doctor soon.

When I arrived at Edward's house, I was relieved to see lights on. Showing up unannounced was tricky and I was hoping that they would be there. I was also hoping I wasn't overstepping my bounds by doing this. Edward seemed to be mellowing out some; very minimally, but doing this could retract some of the progress we have made in our sessions.

I gathered my canvas bags, full of all sorts of goodies and headed to the door.

Ding! Dang! Dong!

I love that door bell!

"Hello?" Edward asked as he opened the door. He looked a little stunned to see me there with bags in my hands. After he came back to consciousness he helped me with them.

"Let me get those for you. What are you doing here?"

"No hello, how are you's? Nothing, well I'm going to have to have a talk with your mother and see if it was her or if you just decided to disable the home training." I said with my hands on my hips. I knew I was in for it now. I barged into his house at five in the evening and start making demands; what else am I to expect?

He looked at me for a minute, calculating again I guessed.

"Sorry, how are you? What are you doing here?" he asked curiously, but not unset I realized.

Good sign.

"So basically it's you and your tact or lack thereof and I'm surprising you and the boys with a movie night," I said taking the bags back as I let myself in. At least he was a gentleman in some area, "You said you never saw _Charlotte's Web_ and I'm sure the boys haven't either, so surprise! Movie night!"

"You did all this because we haven't seen _Charlotte's Web_?" he asked incredulously.

"Yes. Can't I be charitable once in awhile?" I asked raising my full hands to my hips again. Did there always need to be a set reason for doing nice things?

This explains so much.

"No, of course not. Wait, what do you mean by char-"

"Where are the boys?" I asked going toward his living area. There I found the boys laid out on children made couches.

"Bella!" they half shouted

"What did you do to them?" I asked dropping the bags and facing him.

The boys were draped off their little couches looking ill as ever. Even their jubilant shouts of joy for me were barely loud whispers. They looked like they could barely move and I wanted to know why they weren't in their beds. Why were they not getting better, furthermore, why was he so unruffled by the state of his boys?

**Edward's POV **

I was more than shocked, to say the least, to see Bella standing on my door step with bags in her hand. I hadn't spoken to her since yesterday when she called to speak to the boys.

Though this is an unexpected visit, it's a pleasant one. It has only been two days since I last saw her, but I was already craving her company again. I didn't know how to just call her and talk. I'm not sure if we are at that stage where we can just call one another without it having anything to do with the boys.

I just wanted to talk to her, about anything and nothing in particular. I have never found myself wanting to talk to any single person just because.

Bella was unlike anyone I had ever met. She was spirited in an annoyingly pleasant way that you couldn't find yourself mad at her for any length of time. I sometime waited to hear the ever-smart remarks she had for me. It always made me smile to see her happy or amused.

And now she stood in front of me with her petite, delicate hands on her hips fuming. She thought the boys were sick, obviously, and wanted to know why I wasn't doing anything about it. She cared so much for the boys that it made my heart do things I've never felt before.

I was suddenly getting the same feeling that I had when I was driving her and the boys home. It just felt right; her fuming at me and the boy here; all of us together.

**Bella's POV**

"Do pray tell, Mr. Cullen, what do you find so amusing and why are you not doing anything about their condition? I get here to find the boys just…just…look at them. What do you have to say for yourself, mister? Huh, what?" I asked fuming. I just kept flinging question after question at him and all he could do was smirk that beautiful, sexy smile of his at me.

The nerve!

"Cullen, I suggest you get tal-" he cut me off by placing one hand on my shoulder and a finger on my lips. I tried to speak again but he just gently clamped them shut with his index finger and thumb.

"If you let me get a word in, I'll explain their state," he commented amused. This was not a laughing matter. But all the same, I flung my hands out letting him know he could continue with no interruptions from me, for now.

"Ask they boys what's wrong, they will tell you," he said starring deeply into my eyes.

"What do you mean as-" he silenced me again.

"Just ask." I looked at him pointedly, but then turned to the boys. I kneeled down between them and felt their foreheads for a fever. There was none, but I still didn't like how they looked.

"Boys, what's wrong? Do you feel sick? Do your tummies hurt?" I asked gently as I brushed hair out of their eyes. They were so much like their father that it seemed he had no help in creating them.

"We are feeling lackadaisical today, Bella." Kyle said barely turning his head toward me.

"Lackadaisical-?"

"That's right, Bella. Have you never heard of that word before; it's pretty common you know," Kyle spoke again.

I see they get that from the father.

"But I bet you knew that, huh, Bella? You are exceedingly smart," Kevin added.

I stood up and looked at Edward. He had a knowing smirk on his face that I was this close to smacking off. He could have just told me they were fine instead of letting me get all worked up. I was so close to taking them to the hospital.

"Lackadaisical? Exceedingly? Where did they learn how to say those words?"

"My sister."

"But that's supposed to be once a month."

"Well she's decided to do it once a week now and the boys each wanted their own word yesterday so…"

"Unbelievable."

"You're telling me. They've been _lackadaisical _all day and any and everything is _exceedingly _hard or tiring, too"

"Well, now that you put it that way, I'm sorry for you."

*** * * RMF* * ***

_I want to say a large thanks to __**Music ADD**__, whom supplied the word __**lackadaisical **__for the boys. Thanks so much for the word!_

_And thanks to __**EC4me**__ who gave me the idea for saying that Edward was acting like he was PMS-ing during the picnic. _

_**Thanks cherrytone for beta-ing!**_

_**Thanks a million orange cold hand towels for my eyes!**_


	10. Unpleasantries

_**Onward with the read!**_

"You don't seem all that torn up about it," Edward said crossing his arms and I wasn't. I had been so worried when I walked in and saw them. They seemed so frail and unwell; my heart was breaking just looking at them.

I know I didn't give Edward much time or room to speak up about it, but what did he expect my reaction to be. I walk in and see our-_his_ kids laid out barely able to move. Any normal person would react like that.

Any worried mother. Something I knew nothing about and vowed I never would, but here I stand, worried about two little boys that literally took hold of my life a couple of months ago and didn't let go.

I'm not entirely sure why, but I secretly never wanted to let them go. I feel that I will be screwed either way though. On the one hand, if they ever leave my life, I know I will be forever heart broken, but if they stay…I'm afraid I will break theirs and that's something that I could never do.

I love them too much to do that to them, but it's inevitably going to happen. The circle of life, everything repeats itself and my misfortune is bound to rear its ugly head in my life as I continue down this path of destruction. Only difference now is, not only will it be my life going to hell in a hand basket, but these boys' life will be coming along for the ride if I don't do something.

I don't know where to turn or what to do; no matter what choices I make from here on out, they are bound to get hurt. The only thing I can do is, try and choose the route that is less likely to damage them the most in the long run; but which road is that?

"Well that's the price you have to pay, but if you're nice, maybe I can fix this little problem for you, at least temporarily anyway."

"Whatever you have to do, do it. I will forever be in your debt."

"So long as you know I will hold you to it. When I get locked up for kidnapping, I'll be looking to you for an alibi," I said as his face lost some color. He is just too easy.

"Boys, if you're done being lazy for the day, I have a surprise for you. BUT, if you're feeling exceedingly lackadaisical, I can always go home," I said picking up my bags and heading to the door. I knew I wouldn't make it to the foyer, but that's all apart of my expertly devised plan.

Well maybe not expertly, but I'd like to think so.

"NO!" they cried before I could take three good steps.

"That would be considerably…awful!" Kyle cried as Kevin finished for him.

I looked at Edward, "February and March words," he replied to my unasked question.

"So does that mean you're not feeling lazy any more?" I asked turning around.

"Absolutely!" they both said in unison.

"July. The first word they learned."

"Mmm. Okay, I know it's early, but have the boys had there baths yet?"

"They took one this morning, but I don't see why they would need another one. They haven't done anything all day but slouch around."

"Boys, go and put on your pajamas and meet me here when you're done."

"Aye Aye, captain!" they shouted as they ran off. I couldn't help but look after them as they disappeared into their room.

"Sponge Bob."

"That is the most insufferable show ever; worse than Barney. How did you know?"

"No bashing of the 'Dinosaur Sensation' and who doesn't know about Mister Square Pants?" I asked as I put my bags down in the corner.

"Do you mind if we move theses couches around some? I want to make a make-shift pillow lounge movie theatre thing."

"Not at all," he replied as he helped me move the coffee table and couches.

"For someone who _supposedly_ doesn't like children, you know quite a bit about them."

"I…never…said…I did…didn't l-like them. Ju-st…hadn't really…thought…of having any. There got it. That one was heavy," I have never in my life moved such a heavy couch and I've moved a lot of them; however, Edward seemed to have no problems on his end.

"Where are you going?"

"To my car, I forgot the pillows. Be right back." As I stepped out the door, I could hear the boys running back into the living room. They didn't know what was going on, but they were very excited.

I lifted the huge army duffel bag out of the trunk and shimmied my way back to the house. Before I made it to the walkway, Edward was there to take the bag from me. "Thanks," I said not arguing. The bag was heavy and I marveled at the way he seemed to pick it up effortlessly. This was one battle that the ideas of sexism weren't going to rule.

"Where did you get all these pillows? Surely you didn't buy all these just for one movie night!" Edward asked incredulously.

"My closet. I have a lot of movie nights with my best friend and had a lot growing up, too. Most of these pillows are from my childhood."

We laid out my under the sea blanket on the floor, along with three adult size body pillows over top. I reached in the bag and pulled out about a dozen throw pillows, all in different sizes and shapes and stacked them along the front edge of the couch and at the foot of the body pillows.

"Now all we need are the goodies!"

"What kind of goodies, Bella?"

"Well, my wonderfully delicious Puddin' Cup, lets see." I picked up my canvas bags and pulled out a brown paper bag that had all their movies in them and handed it to them.

"These are for you."

"Thank you, Bella!" They both cried joyously ripping open the bag on the floor.

As I walked into the kitchen, Edward followed with his hands in his pockets looking at the floor. He had a glum look on his face that I couldn't understand.

"You didn't have to do that, Bella. I could have bought them those movies. They have some, but not any of those."

"Edward, please stop making me feel bad for doing things for them. I love them, really I do and all I wanted to do was share some of my favorite movies growing up, with them. It has nothing to do with you not being able to provide for them. It looks, to me, like you're doing more than well in that area."

"I feel like a bad father. You by them books they want and movies they've never seen. You even had to bribe me to play with them at the park. You don't even want children and you know more about them than I do," he retorted back defiantly. He was trying to get me to see his point and I could, but it was a ridiculous point to be had.

"Edward sit down, please," I told him. I needed to get things back in order and quick. I hadn't even tried to figure out how I was going to protect the boys from me and I already needed to do damage control with their father without realizing I created a reason to do so.

"Edward, I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression, but you are a wonderful father. I never meant to make it seem like you weren't. I-"

"It's not your fault. I'm just not that great of a parent, I guess. The boys need someone like you. Happy, free, open…playful; not some stuffy old man like me."

"You are hardly, old, maybe just a bit on the uptight side." I not even going to comment on how wrong he was about me. There was no need to dip into a therapy session her.

"I feel like I can't give them everything they need and that they're missing out on so much because they don't have a mother."

" You have two very happy and content boys, Edward. All they need is you and you're a great father and your boys adore you. When I first met them, they were so sad at the thought of loosing you. I know nothing about children and I'm basically flying by the seat of my pants," I said as he laughed.

"They don't love you because you buy them things, Edward, they love unconditionally because you are their father; their heart. No amount of books or movies is going to change that. If you weren't a good father, Kevin and Kyle wouldn't be who they are. And that's two wonderful, precocious, lovable, lively little boys. They are who they are because of you, Edward, and no one else."

Edward just simply looked at me for a moment. I guess he was calculating how much of what I said was true. It was all true, but he just never saw it before. I never intended on _upstaging_ him as a parent, I was just trying to share something with them. Give apart of myself to them. Why I felt compelled to do so was a wonder to me. In some small way, I guess, I felt as if they would forget about me, as if I was some kind of faze in their lives and I would be gone from it as fast as I had entered it.

The thought of that nearly crippled me.

It's hard being a single parent; I know that more than anyone. Raising one child, let alone two, is a hard thing to do alone. It's something no person should ever have to do on their own and something a child should never have to experience. But the world is an imperfect place; sometimes parents leave, by their own exclusion and sometimes not.

But in the end, there are a lucky few who manage to pull off the unthinkable and become both mother _and_ father to their children. They take on a task that was never meant for them. Stepping up to the plate in a time of personal crisis is something that even the strongest can't always survive. Edward should be proud of what he's accomplished with Kevin and Kyle.

There are no two greater boys in this world than my two favorite snacks.

"So where are the bowls," I asked trying to get this night back on track. I knew he wanted to comment, but I thought I'd save him the headache. There was nothing to say. It is what it is.

"First cabinet left of the sink." I took a good look at his kitchen now, it was beautiful and I got the feeling that his mother or someone else decorated it. It had a woman's touch to it; I was immediately in love with it.

The granite counter tops were the most beautiful shade of amarello I'd ever seen. It looked like warm caramel with bits of black and white and spots of a darker shade of caramel running through it. The edges were smooth and rounded with a slight indent at the top to give it a little design.

The island in the middle had a three compartment, stainless steel sink and a dual grill, griddle and range stove top. On the opposite side, the counter top extended over the edge of the base a bit to allow stools to be pushed under making an in-kitchen bar area. Above, there were various pots and pans hanging from steel rods that extended downward and stop about a foot overhead.

To the right there was there was a triple door refrigerator and three side-by-side ovens on the back wall. One of which, appeared to be a convection oven for baking, while the other two were regular conventional ovens for every day cooking.

The back counters were line with baskets for fruit and bottles of spiced oils. In the window sat an herb garden, that I was surprised was still living considering the amount of sunlight, or lack there of, we get in this part of the country.

The kitchen was magnificent and had I ever became a chef instead of an editor, I would have truly loved this kitchen even more.

I reached down and pulled out the desired size and amount of bowls needed, grabbed Edward's hand and made my way back to the living room where the boys were still looking over the movies with excitement.

"Why so many bowls?"

"Mise en Place; everything in its place," I said as he looked at me funny. I'd have to explain that to him later. I reached in the bag and pulled out white cheese popcorn, _Goobers_, of course, _Twizzlers_, chips, _Sugar Babes. _Edward looked at me like I had three heads when I took the one plate and sat turkey burgers on it and asked him to heat it.

Did he really think I would fill the children up with junk food and have no sustenance before hand? What did he take me for, an amateur? Well maybe I am, but that's not the point.

"These aren't beef." He pointed out the obvious when he returned with the now hot burgers.

"I realize that, my grandfather was a bit of a 'when I feel like it' health nut. I rarely ate red meat, and don't touch the stuff much now either." I said as I finished setting up the rest of the snacks.

"How was he sometimes a health nut?"

"Well, one night he would tell me I couldn't eat something because it would clog my arteries or take so long to digest that it would never leave my body, then the next morning make me the biggest stack of homemade pancakes smothered in hot maple syrup. If it was a love, he ate it, anything else he ate when he felt necessary." I replied, speaking of my grandfather openly for the first time in years.

I knew that Edward doubted my judgment in getting the boys to eat turkey burgers, but sometimes it's best to keep things to yourself until afterwards. What the boys didn't know wouldn't hurt them, so long as they liked what they ate. And it didn't; the boys loved my version of the _ham_burger and didn't know they were eating turkey.

When I told them they were turkey, the boys decided they wanted nothing else but turkey burgers from then on out. Edward was in a state of shock at hearing the boys make their little announcement.

I thought it was cute.

As the movie started, the boy and I danced around the room singing along to the songs at the appropriate times, while Edward and I took turns taking picture with the digital camera I brought along.

Though I haven't known Edward long, he appeared to be happier than he had been in a long time and seemed to really be enjoying himself. We were all laughing and dancing. We were having so much fun that we had to back the movie up a few times.

My favorite part of the movie was when they were trying to figure out a new word for Wilber and no one could come up with something short enough that Charlotte could spell and would be meaningful.

"T-double-E-double-R-double-I-double-F-double-I-double-CCC," I repeated after the goose. The boys fell into a fit of giggles and insisted we keep backing up the movie until they could repeat it themselves. It took a while because the boys couldn't stop laughing long enough to get past the first 'I' without having to break for air.

When it got to the part when Templeton was at the fair, Edward suddenly got what I meant when I said smorgasbord. Edward and I laughed as the boys replayed the carnival song over and over dancing to it as Templeton ate himself into gluttony.

The boys began to tear up as Charlotte died at the end of the fair. That was the one part of the movie I could never get through without crying and I had to excuse myself to the bathroom so the boys didn't see my cry.

It was silly really. This movie had nothing to do with real life, yet every time I watched I couldn't help but see it all over again.

'_Stay a way or I'll kill her'_

"_Take me instead, please just not her! I'll give you whatever you want, just don't kill her.'_

'_Nooooo…'_

Knock, knock, knock.

"Bella, are you okay?" Edward asked through the door hesitantly. I had to pull myself together. It's been far too long and I couldn't let him see me like this.

"I just had to use the bathroom," I replied, flushing the toilet for good measures.

"Bella, I know you didn't use the bathroom. Please open the door." He pleaded as I splashed my face with cold water to take away some of the puffiness.

I looked up into the mirror at my reflection, my eyes were red and puffy, my face was splotchy and lined with tears; I looked horrible and it had only been five minute. I a total of five minutes, I had gone from being presentable to becoming a complete mess.

I really need to learn how to control my emotions.

"I'm fine, Edward, really. I'll be out in a minute. Finish watching the end of the movie. It's the best part and you'll be mad you missed it."

"I have the movie now; I can watch it anytime," I sighed, "Just let me in. Please." I sighed again; he obviously wasn't going to let this go until I came out. I opened the door slowly, my eyes still brimming with tear. He immediately pulled me into a tight hug, rubbing soothing circles in my back.

A sob escaped my lips, but I was determined not to have a melt down. One melt down always lead to a string on endless nights of crying and nightmares and I just didn't have the patience to deal with that right now. I just wanted to forget about the memories this movie, and others like it, always brought up so I could go back to being my _normal _cynical self.

"Bella, what's wrong?" he asked leaning back some and removing the last of my fallen tears with his thumbs.

"Oh, this, nothing at all," I tried to laugh, "This movies always makes me girly and I can't help the water works." I could tell by the look in his eyes that he didn't entirely believe that lie, but he didn't push the subject and I silently thanked him for it.

By the time we made it back to the living room, the movie was over and the boys were riffling through the rest of the movies looking for something else.

"I want to watch _All Dogs Go to Heaven_." Kevin said.

"_101 Dalmatians_." Kyle shot back.

"_All dogs_-"

"_101 Dalmatians_."

"No, you always get to choose what we do."

"Boys, boys, calm down. We will have time to watch all of these one day, okay. We will watch…_All Dogs Go to Heaven_ tonight and next movie night we will watch _101 Dalmatians_.' I said stopping the fight.

Edward popped the DVD in and joined us on the floor. We sat much like we did when we were at the park; each of the boys in our laps as we sat side-by-side. It was comforting to have someone to share this with and I don't mean the boys.

I like my solitary life; just me and Goober with the occasional interference for my extended family, but I guess it was nice to have…someone there sometimes. Alice always said it was bad for me to always be alone. That one day I would tire of being alone so much and once I got companionship I would never want to let it go, but I never understood what she meant until now. I can't say that I am fed up with being a…hermit, as Alice calls me, but the…company is not so bad.

Once I get past the wall that Edward has up, he's not such a bad guy after all. I never really thought of him as a bad guy, just uptight. He needed to loosen up some and just stop to smell the roses. Cliché I know, but the saying has a point. I may be a bit of a hermit, if I'm being honest with myself, but I did occasionally stop to enjoy the aroma of the flowers or the rich taste of my early morning coffee.

When I focused on those things, life seemed so much simpler, happier, devoid of suffering. But as soon as I stepped out of my imaginary, everything is picture perfect world; I was brought back to reality and all its glory.

The world did seem a little less gloomy when I was spending my time with someone else, but it wouldn't always be this way. They aren't my family. No matter how much the boys love seeing me or how much Edward makes the unnecessary effort, on his part, to deal with my antics, they aren't mine.

Of course I had Carlisle and Esme; they were like my parents, more than like, but I didn't belong to them no matter how much I wanted it to be that way. Emmett and Alice weren't my siblings and Rosalie wasn't the 'Wicked Sister In-law from the West.' We were very much like family when I allowed it, but in reality I had to face the fact that I was all alone and attaching myself to my best friend's family was just as unhealthy as being a hermit.

Half way through the movie, I began to tire from the exhausting thoughts that had been running through my mind. I hadn't realized how tiring it was to be on your guard so much. I can't remember the last time I've been this tired and I soon found myself resting my head on Edward shoulder. He didn't seem to mind, so I didn't bother moving.

Before I knew it, everything around me was black. I felt myself floating along on a warm stream as I fell into one of the most peaceful sleeps I've had in years. It was the first night in five years I had a dreamless night.

As I woke, I felt like I had slept for years. I don't know how long I had been asleep, but I can tell it's a lot longer than I have slept in years and I felt completely rested; something I haven't felt for awhile. I turned over to find myself in an unfamiliar bed and a pair of vibrant green eyes starring back at me.

*** * *RMF* * ***

_**cherrytone, thanks a bunch!**_

_**Thank you a million Ginebra Brong's grandma's homemade orange Ice Pops!**_


	11. Complications

_**Onward with the read!**_

**Alice POV**

"I swear I'm going to ring her neck when I get a hold of her. She is two hours late!"

"You're not going to do anything, Alice. Unless releasing 'Alice Makeover' is what you call 'ringing her neck?'" Emmett boomed.

"Emmett, I'll have your head on a platter."

"Alice, why are you so hormonal? Are you feeling okay?"

"Rose, what is with you and Bella both saying that? I feel completely Alice."

"Oh, well never mind." Rose said turning up her nose.

I really don't get what it is that those two didn't like about each other. From the moment they met, they just didn't mesh well. Rose would turn her nose up at Bella and Bella would act as if she weren't there.

I must say it is a challenge to ignore Rose when she get into one of her moods; most people would mull over whatever she did or said for days, but not Bella. She would completely brush off whatever she did or said as if she were never there.

I'm determined to have those two friends if it kills me.

But Bella may never make it that far if she doesn't call me soon. I have been waiting two hours for her to call me. We were supposed to meet and go shopping before dinner. But no, she's late and hasn't even called me.

"Alice, honey, are you sure you have the right time?" Jasper asked as he calmed me with just one touch.

"Yes," I replied leaning my head on him, "she was supposed to meet me here at 9:30 and now it's almost noon."

"Why is it when I asked you that, you snapped my head off, but when lover boy over there does, you go all peaches-n-cream?" Emmett pouted. He was such a baby sometimes.

"I think you just answered your own question, brother dear."

_You got me trippin oh, stumbling oh, flippin oh, fumbling oh  
Clumsy cuz I'm fallin in love, in love  
You got me slippin oh, tumbling oh, sinking oh, fumbling oh  
Clumsy cuz I'm fallin in love, in love  
So in love with you_

"Where have you been? I have been calling you for hours. Explain yourself!"

"I'm sorry, Alice. I overslept."

"Over slept? You haven't _overslept _ever!" Did she really expect me to believe that? The lie was uncharacteristically believable for her, but Bella hasn't slept more than four hours in about five years or past nine in the morning.

"Really, Alice I'm sorry. I'm leaving now. I will be there in a couple of hours, okay?"

"Auntie Ally! Auntie Ally! Can we have a new word?"

CRAP!

"What did you say, Alice?" Bella asked. This was not good timing.

"Eddie, my man."

"Emmett, how many times do I have to tell you not to call me Eddie?"

"B, I'll have to call you back, bye." I whispered and hung up. I couldn't risk her hearing Edward and the boys in the background.

"Loosen up, Edward."

"Rose, I don't believe I was talking to you, but to my brother," Edward said. I wonder what happened with the movie night last night; usually he would ignore Rose, but not today. Today he seemed to have gumption or the patience to not have patience with Rose and she seemed just as shocked as I was.

"Edward, have a seat." Jasper said, "How was the concert Monday?"

"Auntie Ally, can we have a new word? Our friend Bell-" I clamped my hand around Kyle's mouth before he could say Bella's name. No one knew about Bella and Edward and I needed it to stay like that.

I knew Edward wouldn't mention her, because he knew everyone would make a big deal out of the fact that he had been talking to a woman. Edward had never really paid much attention to the opposite sex growing up. He was always so concentrated on his music. He said when the right one came along, he would change, but he wasn't going to date just to date.

I was surprised that the boys hadn't said much about Bella around us in the past couple of months. I knew they adored her, it was pretty obvious. There had been such a big change in them since they'd know her. But, the boys were very private about certain things and liked to keep those things to themselves.

Apparently Bella fell into that category now.

"Boys, I will give you a new word so long as you don't say-"

"Alice, no more words this week," Edward demanded.

"What are you doing here?" I hissed. He was going to mess this whole thing up. If Bella found out too early, she would go running for the hills. It's bad enough she seems to be in denial about it now, but if she finds out that Edward is Emmett's and my brother, getting those two together will be a miracle.

"Is it a crime to visit our parents now, Alice?" he asked smugly, "Besides, that little stunt you pulled Monday night left the boys _exceedingly Lackadaisical_ yesterday and I got nothing done. So I'm dropping them off with mom and picking them up later."

"YOU CAN'T!" I shouted.

"Alice, honey, what's wrong?" Jasper asked as I began to panic.

"What's all the commotion I hear in here?"

"GRANDMA!"

"Kyle! Kevin! How are you?" mom asked as she gathered them into a tight hug, kissing their heads.

"I'll be back." I got up, kissed Jasper lightly and ran up to my old room to call Bella.

"Bella," I said as soon as she picked up the phone, "Where are you?"

"Alice, why are you in such a hurry. I'm about twenty minutes from the Port Angeles exit."

"No! I need you to get me some…" come on Alice, get it together, "I need you to pick up a watch for Jasper."

"Where?"

"Seattle Place Mall."

"Are you kidding?"

"No. I need the watch. It's a gift for our anniversary." I really hoped the jeweler had the watch ready. It wasn't supposed to be ready for another day or two, but I have been going there for years and Ferguson always had my stuff ready first.

"Alice, your anniversary is in March."

"Of our first kiss."

"Alice, why don't we just get it when we go shopping? After I get there."

"Because, Jasper will know."

"He knows we are going shopping today," she argued back.

"What I need is in Port Angeles and the trip to Seattle is at least two hours and you are late, so we won't make it back in time for dinner and you know how mom is."

"Alice, with the way you drive, it will take sixty minutes tops and Esme never has a problem."

"Bell-la! Please! All you have to do is ask for Ferguson and tell him my name and he will have you all set up. Besides you are only forty minutes from the mall and it wouldn't make no sense to drive all the way here and then back again, twice!"

"Fine!"

"Thank you, thank you!" I immediately hung up before she could change her mind and called Ferguson.

"Good day, Ferguson Jewelers Seattle, how may I help you?"

"Ferguson, please. This is Alice Whitlock."

"One moment." They put on that awful elevator music, but it was quickly cut off.

"Mary Alice, babe, how are you?"

"Ferggie, major problem!"

"Well don't keep me waiting."

"Remember the story I told you about Bella and Edward when I was in there two weeks ago?" I asked hoping he did so I didn't have to go through it again. Bella was obviously speeding and would take less than forty minutes to get her back to the mall.

"Sure thing, hun."

"Well, they are about to know who they really are if we can't do something."

"What can I do?" He asked curiously.

"Is the watch ready?"

"Just finished it," he commented proudly.

"Good. I sent Bella back to Seattle to get it and I need you to go through all of the _this_ and_ that_ of the watch. Telling her what you did so when she gives it to me I know everything's okay. But first take a while to get the watch. Edward is going to leave the boys here and she can't get back before the boys leave."

"I know just what to do."

"Thank you!" I said then hung up. As I made my way back down stairs, I heard the boys playing with Emmett and Jasper talking to Edward.

"What are you still doing here? I thought you had errands to run?"

"Are you trying to get rid of me, dear sister? Because that's what it seems like," Edward said playfully. Bella has really made a big impact on his life.

"Jasper could I talk to you a minute?" I asked, but not really asking as I grabbed his hand and dragged him to the dinning room.

"Jasper, you have to get Edward out of here now!"

"Alice, what's wrong? Did something happen with you and Edward?"

"No, but he needs to leave now so he can get back."

"Why, what's going on?" I signed. There was no way I could keep this from him any longer. I knew I would have to tell him sooner or later, but it turns out it will be sooner.

"Has Edward mentioned anything to you lately about someone new in his life?"

"No."

"Well, there is and it's Bella."

"Bella? That's great, but how did that happen? They haven't seen each other in years."

"By accident. Remember the first time Edward lost the boys a few months back?" Jasper nodded, "Bella was the _old woman _that found them. It happened two times after that, each time Bella found them. She hasn't realized that he's our brother and he obviously doesn't even remember anything about Bella from our childhood."

"What's the problem then?"

"You know how Bella is. She hasn't admitted her true feelings about him yet and if she finds out who he is now, she'll bolt. They are perfect for each other Jazz and she loves the boys."

"They don't even talk about her."

"I had to stop Kyle from saying her name earlier and you know how they like to keep their special stuff to themselves for a while."

"Just like, Edward. What do you want me to do?"

"Get Edward out the house and make sure he finishes his errands quickly; Bella can't get here before they leave." Jasper nodded and kissed me sweetly then left to get Edward out of the house. I sat down at one of the chairs as mom came in.

"Alice, dear, are you alright? You look a little flushed," she asked sitting next to me.

"I'm okay. Just another day in the life of Mary Alice Cullen Whitlock."

**Bella POV**

This is absolutely ridiculous. I can see her reasoning in not having to drive back and forth, but who celebrates their first kiss, especially when they're married. Technically, they're engaged, but she already changed her legal documents to say Whitlock. She never did say why they were waiting to get married, but Alice was very adamant about it.

I walked into Ferguson Jewelers and went straight to the counter.

"Welcome to Ferguson Jewelers Seattle, how may I assist you?"

"I need to speak to Ferguson, please."

"Okay. Just a moment." As I waited, I decided to look around. The jewelry in this store was exquisite, but I never needed any reason to own something along these lines.

My phone was on vibrate and I felt it buzz against my leg and I only hoped it wasn't Alice again. She had been driving me nuts for the past hour trying to figure out where I was.

"Hello"

"Ms. Swan, its Mr. Guttenberg."

"Hello, Mr. G." why was he calling me? I didn't have any edits due this week and everything else I had been working on was turned in.

"Bella, I need to speak with you in the office at your earliest convenience; next week sometime."

"Is everything okay? Is there something wrong?"

"No, no, nothing at all. I just need to discuss some…changes with you."

"Okay, is Monday good?"

"Just fine, thank you, Bella. Enjoy the weekend." I hope I didn't do anything wrong. I had been there quite a while and I know my job well. I don't see what changes could be made.

I'll worry about next week.

"Ms." I turned around.

"Hello, I'm Ferguson."

"Bella Swan, I'm a friend of Alice Whitlock. I'm supposed to be picking up a watch for her."

"Oh, yes, right this way." He placed his hand on the small of my back, hovering really, as he led me to another counter.

"Be right back." After about fifteen minute, Ferguson still hadn't emerged from the back and I wondered what was taking him so long.

"Ms. Swan, one of the clerks seems to have entered the watch into the data base wrong so we have to change it and the system went down while we were changing the information."

"How long until the system reboots?"

"It's rebooting now, but it takes about ten minutes to come back up. I am very sorry for the inconvenience."

"It quite alright." He walked away again and didn't return for another twenty minutes of so.

"Here is the watch," he said placing a brown box down on the counter. He opened the box and inside sat a watch that screamed Jasper. The band was brown leather with a very subtle design that you could almost miss if you weren't paying attention. The face was rectangular surrounded by diamonds on the perimeter. Inside the face, there was some sort of Civil War picture up under the arms in black and white.

Japer will love this watch.

"Okay, so all you need to know is…" the man dribbled on and on about all the makings of the watch. How they did the picture and sized it. He pulled out the original and showed it to me so I could see that they looked the same, but different sizes.

Next, he told me about the band and what Alice was looking for in the band and how she describe Japer so I could understand why he choose the band and color that he did. The significance of the design on it and how it coordinated with the Civil War.

He literally droned on for nearly an hour. I didn't know how to politely dismiss myself, taking the watch with me and I couldn't just walk away. I hadn't heard much of what he said, but my ears perked up when I heard two thousand dollars.

"So will that be cash or credit?"

"Wait, what am I paying for?"

"The balance. The watch came to a grand total of 4,352.79. Mrs. Whitlock paid 2,352.79 and the balance is to be paid at time of pick up." I signed heavily. Alice owed me big. She could have at least warned me that I had to pay so I didn't look like the idiot that I do right now.

"Ma'am, the machine doesn't seem to be taking your card, is you balance run up?" did he seriously just ask me that?

"It's a debit.' I stated simply.

"Sometimes we have problems with certain cards and debit, do you have a credit card by any chance?" I pulled out my card and handed it to him. A moment later he turned around saying the card was rejected. This was unbelievable. There was no way my card could be rejected.

"Maybe I can put it in manually. I'll just be a moment." He said walking away to the back. After ten minutes he returned with the receipt for me to sign. I signed it and bid him good day. I was going to kill Alice.

As I made my way back to the freeway, traffic started to back up. It was not even time for rush hour traffic yet, and even so this was ridiculous. I flipped on the radio to find a report on what was happening. After fifteen minutes, there was a traffic report reporting a five car pile up.

Great! Just Great!

I felt my phone buzz and knew right away who it was.

"Bella! Did you get it?" I heard her ask too cheerfully.

"Alice! You could have told me I had to pay. I was there for over an hour because of problem and Ferguson felt the need to explain to me every little detail about the watch and now I'm in traffic because of a five car pile up."

"Terrific!"

"That had better be a sarcastic terrific!"

"Of course, because now we may not have time to go shopping."

"Alice you owe me."

"I know, got to go, bye." She hung up.

After an hour, traffic finally got moving at a decent pace and I finally made it to the route that would take me to Forks. It was taking me way too long to get there and I almost wanted to turn back and go home. I hated coming here, but did it because Carlisle and Esme didn't want to live in the city.

**Alice POV**

Where is that soon to be husband of mine? He has been gone for two hours now. They should have been back by now. Edward never takes this long on his errands. He hates errands and always finishes quickly. The whole point of Jasper going was to speed things along not slow them down.

Bella had left the jewelers and was now on her way back. The traffic is not going to hold her up all day. I need another distraction. Bella can't be here with the boys. Even if we leave before Edward gets back, there is no way around avoiding her seeing the boys.

"That was truly a beautiful piano." I heard Edward say delightfully as he and my soon to be dead ex-fiancé. They were laughing and talking like they had all the time in the world.

"Jasper!"

"Hello, honey."

"Don't you honey me, _where_ have you been?"

"Edward found a piano."

"Hmm, that's nice. I'll get Kevin and Kyle so you can get back."

"Actually, I think I might stay for dinner."

"You can't, you won't have enough time to get the boys home at a decent hour. Can't have them out all hours of the night starting bad habits."

"I think they'll be fine," Edward said walking toward the kitchen.

"Jasper, what am I going to do? He can't stay."

"Maybe when Bella arrives, you can go straight out and I'll keep everyone distracted and you two can leave."

"No, that won't work. She knows his car and Emmett knows Bella is coming and when she doesn't show, he'll say something. You know how much he loves her."

"See your point."

"Got it. You, dad, Emmett, Edward and the boys can go have a guy's night out and we ladies can stay in. Edward can take his car too, so that when you're all done, he can just go straight home." Jasper thought a minute.

"That could work, but you are going to have to stall Bella again. We can't rush them out of the house, they'll get suspicious."

"Okay, I'll call Bella and have her pick up something." Jasper kissed my cheek and went to relay the plans while I called Bella. This was turning out to be a lot harder than it should have been. Normally I would live for this, but today I just feel worn.

"Bella," I said as she answered the phone and not happily. "Where are you?"

"Thirty minutes, Alice, jeez!"

"Okay, could you stop by the store for me?"

"Not again, Alice. The last time th-"

"It's for Esme." Please forgive me mom.

"What." Bella growled. I knew I was working her last nerve and being in Forks wasn't helping the situation any."

"Mom needs some beans."

"Kind?"

"Green."

"Okay."

"Snap beans."

"Snap beans. Alice do you know how long it takes to pick out good beans?"

"Yes I know and I would go, but I'm helping mom make a cake from scratch."

"You're helping cook?"

"I cook," I protested. I wasn't the best cook, but I knew how to organize a kitchen.

"Jasper cooks, you watch and taste."

"Beans."

"Bye." Okay now that that's settled, I just have to figure out how to bake a cake from scratch.

*** * *RMF* * ***

_**Thanks cherrytone!**_

_**Thanks a million orange colored contacts!**_


	12. Friends

_**!daer eht htiw drawnO **_

I stood in my living room, clad in an oversized, long sleeved, forest green sweat shirt and some black track pants. My left arm was crossed over my chest as my right elbow rest on my left hand, holding my black and blue glasses nibbling on the end. It was a habit I acquired, Lord knows when, for when I was nervous or unsure about something. The only thing is, I wasn't sure was I was unsure about.

Goober looked up at me strangely as I continued to pace back and forth. It wasn't often he witnessed this kind of behavior, but when he did, he was always fascinated by it. What he found so appealing about watching me pace endlessly around the round, creating a whole into the floor always got me. I guess it didn't help that I was disturbing his nap time, which could be the reason.

I had never thought of that reason before. Perhaps, because I was in front of him, traipsing around aimlessly for no apparent reason, he had no choice but to watch me. He could probably feel the vibrations of my steps as he tried to sleep, but no, he couldn't sleep because I was creating a house-quake for him.

Sigh

I decided I would do something constructive and leave Goober to his nap that I have been interrupting for the past two hours. I walked into the kitchen and stood looking at my cabinets. I stood there for a long moment just staring at them not thinking much.

Staring at the cabinets was not going to make something appear out of thin air.

I took a step forward and opened all the cabinets to reveal what was behind them. Everything in the cabinets were extremely organized and marked. All the vegetables were in their places and sorted by type. All the grains and pastas were in clear plastic containers, each with their own individual labels stating the contents.

Every single spice I bought from the Farmers Market in California and then transferred into glass bottles, those, too, with their own label. Alice thought I was crazy for driving down there just to buy spices, but the climate in Washington didn't allow such commodities and the market was the best place to get what I wanted, and then some, at a good price.

After a moment of looking through my cabinets, I decided I would bake a cake; my favorite cake. I pulled out the rather large container containing the plain flour; I grabbed sugar, vanilla, and salt. I walked to the fridge and took out a new pack of brown eggs and butter and started creaming the butter in the Kitchen Aid.

After I had the sugar in, I walked back to the living room, softly so not to wake a sleeping Goober and turned on the stereo. I put Moonlight Sonata by Beethoven on repeat and headed back to the kitchen. Some people thought it was dark, but I didn't think so. I found it to be powerful and relaxing. Though my mood wasn't in the most delightful place right now, it always calmed me no matter how melodramatic some thought it was.

It was my favorite piece next to Clair de Lune.

I sifted all my dry ingredients together into another bowl to make sure it was incorporated well and all the lumps were out. Even though pound cake was heavy, I found that sifting it helps keeps it light and fluffy; in a heavy way, not to mention, it keeps the moisture better after it's baked. I was a backwards cook sometimes, but I think that's what sets my stuff apart from others' and in a good way.

I reached into the bottom cabinet by the fridge and pulled out a 20 oz bottle of 7 Up, an orange, and a jar of sour cream from the fridge. I grated the rine before rolled the orange on the counter to loosen the juices a bit, and then cut into it. I squeezed the juice into the eggs I cracked along with the extracts. When that was done, I added the eggs to the creamed butter and was about to add the flour when the house phone rang.

I knew it was Alice, because other than my mother, no one else called my house phone, mostly because I didn't give out the number and it was too early for my mother to call. She normally liked to call late or what others would consider early morning.

Besides if you wanted to reach me, the house phone was not the way.

"Bella! How are you doing?"

"Hello, Alice, I'm good and you?"

"What's wrong?" she asked as I went back to adding in the rest of the dry ingredient and folding in the sour cream, after putting her on speaker and hooking the phone to my bra strap.

"What makes you think something's wrong, Alice. I was perfectly nice," I asked getting the Crisco for the round, pleated bunt pan.

"Bella, you're only that pleasant when something's wrong. Your not mean, don't get me wrong, Bella, but you're usually just a little more sarcastic with your greetings." She explained sweetly, trying not to offend me; she didn't. I know I have a bit of an acerbic personality; it didn't bother me in the least, but Alice is my best friend and I felt bad about the way I am with her sometimes.

She's my family; all I have left and I would do anything for her. I know that when she butts in, it's only because she loves me and wants to help me, but I didn't need or want help. Alice loved to sit down and talk about things, but that wasn't me. Talking about things only brought up painful memories and that would not do at all.

"I'm sorry, Alice. I never meant to be so rude towards you."

"Bella," she said in a voice so soft, you would think her heart was breaking, "tell me what's wrong. I know something's wrong, so don't lie to me. I've known you since we were in diapers and there is nothing you can keep from me. Talk!" she demanded.

It wouldn't be that easy and I know she knew that.

"Alice, I-"

"Are you baking?" she asked just as I finished shaking the flour around the greased pan and shaking out the excess. Most people were accustomed to using non-stick spray or some such nonsense like that, but I liked it the old fashion way. It always came out better that way; I thought.

"Yes, Alice, I'm baking. What of it?"

"What are you baking?"

"Hungry are we." I stated.

"Maybe, but what are you baking?" she insisted with a slight edge.

"Al-"

"What is it?" she pushed. I sighed defeated.

"Orange and Sour Cream Pound Cake." It was my favorite dessert, but I rarely made it.

"Bell." Alice sighed.

"Alice, I promise I will save you a piece." She knew that was my way of ending the conversation and just left me to myself. Alice knew when she could push and she new when she had to leave it be and this was one of those leave it be times.

By the time I had the cake in the oven; Goober was ready to go for a walk. I picked up my cellular, keys, and a hat and headed out the door with Goober in toe. I hooked the leash to his collar and began our journey. It wasn't the best idea to leave the house with a cake in the oven unattended, but I really didn't care. I had done it many times and it was better that I wasn't in the house walking around, disturbing the delicateness of the cake, with the pacing that was sure to start up again now that I had nothing to distract my mind and occupy my hands.

The cake would take over an hour to bake and that was plenty of time to give Goober a decent walk. The further we went from the house, the more I felt the need for a little speed. I decide that Goober and I hadn't jogged in a while, so I removed my hat, pulled my hair up and fished it through the hole in the back of the hat and set off.

I never had enough stability, but jogging with Goober always kept me on my feet. Any other time I tried to jog, I always fell flat on my face. I estimated we jogged about two and a half, three miles before it started to rain. It wasn't a heavy down pour, but I was glad I remembered to wear a hat. The last time I forgot it was nearly impossible to see it was raining so fiercely.

It gave a new meaning to raining cats and dogs.

We got back to the house a little quicker, because I was jogging slightly faster than when we left. I stepped into the house and opened the coat closet for the towels I kept there for times just like this. I quickly dried Goober off and headed to the laundry room. I removed my soaked cloths and headed to the kitchen next. I quickly washed my hand and slowly opened the oven to check the cake. It was perfect and ready to come out.

It was perfectly golden brown and the middle was split open and a bit of sour cream from the batter bubbled up to the top and had a twinge of an orange tint to it. It looked absolutely delectable and I couldn't wait to taste it. I grabbed my baking gloves and quickly removed the cake and sat it on the rack I set up before I left so it wouldn't continue to cook in the hot bunt pan.

I called Goober to me as I went to my bedroom. I ran a small bath and he jumped in. I quickly washed and dried him and he went to the living room knowing it was okay to lay on his doggy bed now. I washed out the tub while I waited for my shower water to heat. Just as the seam began to filter out from behind the glass, I shut off the tub faucet and stripped my remaining cloths.

I stepped into the shower and instantly felt my body relax. I had been so tense all day, a jog and hot shower were just what I needed. I washed my hair and stayed under the hot spray for a little while longer just basking in the feel of it pounding against my skin. It was therapeutic and I saw no need for a message therapist when I had one right here in the privacy of my own home.

When I finished dressing, I decided I'd call Edward. I don't know why I wanted to call him, but I did. I grabbed the house phone and dialed his number. When it started to ring, I attached the ear piece to it and hooked the phone to the waist of my pants heading to the kitchen.

"Hello?"

"Edward, its Bella."

"Hey, how are you?"

"I'm good thanks, you?" I replied meaning it; I _was_ feeling better.

"Glad to hear it, I'm good as well. Did…did you have a play date with the boys today? I'm sorry I didn't remember, I let the boys go off with their Aunt and they won't be back until tonight sometime," Edward said apologetically.

"No, no, I didn't have anything planned. You're fine. I was just calling to talk…if that's okay?" I asked hesitantly. I didn't know if he wanted to talk to me; he had loosened up a bit, but I had given him a hard time in the beginning, so I wouldn't doubt if he wanted to keep our _relationship_ strictly about the boys.

"Oh! Actually," he said shyly, "it's the funniest thing, when I answered the phone; I was actually calling you to talk as well."

"Great minds think alike," I said as he laughed.

Edward and I stayed on the phone so long I ended up nearly finishing my cake without noticing it. I had sat down at the table and took a fork to it as we talked.

We had a very nice conversation, speaking on different subjects; commenting on everything and nothing all at the same time. Edward had so much insight into so many different things that it was amazing he was always so quiet and seemed to keep to himself. He was extremely smart and I found out that his father was a doctor and he had considered going to medical school because his father had, but his father told him to do whatever his heart desired.

I thought it was kind of his father not to force or allow him to do something that he really didn't want to do. So many times, parents force their own views or personal hopes onto their children. Swaying them in directions that they wouldn't normally go in. It's not all bad, but sometimes parents can be so…not necessarily controlling, but adamant on what they think is right for _another_ person.

Believing that at a young age, they can't grasp the meaning or magnitude of certain decisions; that they aren't old enough or mature enough to understand. Not all teens; young people, can appreciate or realize the consequences of particular decisions or actions, but putting all of them in the same category isn't much better.

Everyone is not the same.

Treating them like they're children, with no understanding of how things operate, all the while telling them that they need to grow up and be mature was the most ridiculous. It was a double negative. One can't be a child and be grownup at the same time.

Edward and I didn't talk too much about our personal lives though. I didn't offer any information on mine and he didn't ask; mostly because, I think, he knew that I had lost my father a while ago and decided to steer clear of it. I thanked all that was holy that I didn't have to come up with a lie or give half truths. It was the one thing I hated more then actually talking about my once complete family.

By the time I said goodnight to Edward, I was in a much better mood, five pounds heavier and ready to paint the town red. Though I would never go that far, it was a nice thought to have. I felt light and free; just all around cheerful, a way I hadn't felt in a long time.

* * *RMF* * *

_**cherrytone, you're wonderful!**_

_**Thanks a million orange clouds! **_


	13. The Hunt

_**Onward with the read!**_

It was five in the morning and I hadn't been to sleep yet. I was still feeling a little strange and I couldn't put my finger on it. For the past couple of days, I have just been…off balance somehow. My internal equilibrium has become all topsy-turvy and I don't know how to get back to my level state.

I seriously doubt that I have been all that level, but this is just ridiculous. No matter what I do, I just keep getting this feeling. It's as if I'm missing something; some big picture that is right in front of me, yet I don't see it. I always hate when I feel this way. Usually, by the time I figure out what is off, or better yet, what I'm missing, it's too late.

I got up from my desk and decided now was as good time as any to get ready. I have a long day ahead of me, Mother's Day is tomorrow and I had to go out and get supplies, not to mention, I had to wake Alice. She didn't know that she was coming with me today, but she'd get over it. Now the only problem was waking her. Alice could get up at anytime, no matter how much sleep she got, but if she wasn't prepared for it, it was like waking the dead.

I decide to stop stalling and just get ready. I figured if I showed up at her door with a cup of coffee, she'd be a little more forth coming to the whole waking up at the crack of dawn unprepared thing. She was always perky, but when Alice wasn't prepared, it wasn't pretty.

It took me about twenty minutes to get ready and get Goober outside before I left. Since I would be gone all day, I had to leave him outside in his dog house. I grabbed my keys and my canvas bag that had the things I needed, plus a thermos of my famous nutmeg coffee, and headed out. It took me about twenty-five minutes to get to Alice and Jasper's house. Why at six in the morning there was traffic I did not know, but I guess that was because of the construction and the fact that tomorrow is a holiday, the street were going to get crowded earlier and quicker.

When I got to their house, I knock on the door hard a few times and waited hoping that Jasper would here it. Alice hated door bells and decided to get a door knocker designed like a pump. She would go down in the history books as the only person to have a door knocker designed like a shoe.

After about three minutes, Jasper finally came to the door.

"Good morning, Bella," Jasper said cheerfully.

"Jasper, were you already up?" I asked looking at him strangely. He was dressed casually in sweats, but not the type he wore to bed.

"Yeah, sorry it took me so long to get to the door. I had just stepped out the shower when you knocked." He replied as I followed him to the kitchen.

"Is that your nutmeg coffee?"

"And if it was?"

"I hope you brought enough for me, because if you didn't, you'll have to battle the wrath of Alice without it." He said slyly, as he inched his way toward me trying to see how he could swipe the thermos and run.

This time I was prepared; I knew better. The last time I came over with only enough for Alice, because he was supposed to be out of town, Japer stalked me around their large kitchen demanding that I hand over the coffee. He chased me through the whole house, Alice none-the-wiser, still sleeping like a baby. I tripped and he got the coffee as it rolled under the coffee table and bolted for the door. He actually got in his car and drove away with it just so I couldn't get it from him; I had a key to his car and there was no way he could stay in the drive way without me getting in.

After that, no matter the circumstances, I came with enough coffee for four; two cups each. There was no way I was going to run up and down this house after some coffee that wasn't even for me. It was my recipe and I could make it anytime I wanted.

"Jasper, I'm warning you. Stay back; there is enough to go around and then some." He stopped and stud up straight from the crouching position he was in and raised an eyebrow.

"Don't you see the size of this thing? I made my special blend just for you," I said sitting down the thermos and getting two cups from the cabinet.

"You're not going to have any?"

"Not caffeine free," I said simply. He nodded knowing first hand what caffeine can do to me. I grabbed Alice's cup, as Jasper took his and sat at the table with the paper, and headed up stairs.

"Alice." I whispered holding the cup up under her nose. She immediately sat up, her lips meeting the rim of the cup and taking a sip.

"What is it you need of me today, Ms. Swan?" She said professionally, taking the cup from my hands.

"I need your expertise in shopping."

I guess that was the magic word. Alice jumped up, not spilling a drop of coffee and ran to the bathroom. She was talking to herself, commenting on the coffee and trying to find the right outfit.

"Bella, where are we going?" she asked opening the door and going back to the closet.

"I don't know." I replied, perching myself in the middle of her sink and she walked back and forth in the closet in her underwear.

"Bella, how do you expect me to know what to wear if I don't know where I'm going?" she demanded placing her hands on her very petite hips. Why or how Alice always managed to make the simplest things into massive events was beyond me. We were just going shopping for Pete's sake, who cares?

"Alice, we're going on the hunt."

"Hunting! I know just the outfit!" she cried joyously. There was nothing Alice loved more than hunting. It was shopping, but better.

No one was a better hunter than Alice, which is precisely why I'm dragging her out the house. I knew even without coffee, once I said we were going hunting, she would be game.

"So, are you ever going to tell me about movie night? We never did get a chance to talk about it when we had dinner with mom on Wednesday." She said not catching the fact that she referred to Esme as mom to me. I practically grow up in there house and Esme was the closest person I had to a mother.

"We watched movies Alice. What else did you expect?"

"So, Edward wasn't different? Did you two get along any better? Give me some details; I can't make this stuff up myself."

"That's right; you're not supposed to know."

"Bell-la!" she whined and I caved telling her everything up until the end. She sat there listening to me as I navigated my truck through Seattle. She was completely quiet as I told her everything from four nights ago. Alice knew how certain movies affected me and she just listened and waited knowing that this would be the one and only time I'd talk about my feelings.

I had a quota; one talk and one cry, if I could help it, per year.

"-and then-"

"And then what, Bella?"

"Well…I sort'a fell asleep."

"So what?"

"It was his bed I woke up in," I admitted biting my lip.

"WHAT! You waited three whole days to tell me this? I can't believe you!" she said in disbelief.

"I'm sorry. We couldn't talk on Wednesday and one of us was always too busy to talk," I said sheepishly.

"So how was it? You didn't hurt too much did you? I know it was your first time, but did you at least enjoy any of it? I can't believe you didn't do the code call." She finished referring to when we were children and one of us had something important to tell the other, but there was no time. We would make a code call, leaving an urgent coded message that said we would sneak out, or to the phone when we were very young, and spill.

"WHAT!" it was my turn to be shocked now, "We didn't have sex, Alice! What do you take me for? I fell asleep and he put me in his bed."

"Wait, what? I don't understand?"

"Gosh, Alice, for someone so smart you are really slow," I said as we got out the truck and headed into the antique store.

"What did you expect me to think, when you're being all shy about it? It's not a crime to wake up in another mans bed. Sex or no sex."

"Yeah, I know, but, Alice, w-"

"Don't even try it, Bella. You have got to get over it. I'm sorry, but you can't just be the Dog Lady down the street who scares all the neighborhood children. He's it, Bella."

"And just how do you know that?" I asked ignoring her first statement. She knew I would.

"Because, I can feel it. Now, what are we looking for in here?"

"Old window."

* * *RMF* * *

_**Thank you cherrytone!**_

_**Thanks a million orange houses!**_


	14. Crafts

_**Charley**_

_**Onward with the read!**_

"Hello?" Edward asked picking up the phone on the third ring.

"Edward, its Bella."

"Hey, how are you?"

"Good, thanks. Listen, since tomorrow is Mother's Day and I know you are probably going to your mother's house, I wanted to do some things with the boys today if it's alright?" I asked hoping it was. I had spent the better part of the morning with Alice gathering supplies and it would suck big time if I couldn't.

"Uh, you…you could come with us if you want to. I'm sure my family wouldn't mind."

"No. No, that's okay. I have plans tomorrow," maybe jump off a cliff, "so I just wanted to see the boys."

"Yeah, that's fine. Would you like me to drop them off at your house?"

"Good, because I'm almost to your house; so there is no drop off needed. And you get to help with what we are doing. I don't want to leave you out of things, I was actually hoping you'd want to help me with the project I have for the boys."

"That would be great, thank you."

"There's no thanks needed."

"What are we doing then?"

"If you come outside and help me, the sooner you will find out," I replied hanging up. Edward appeared at the door with the boys before I could cut the engine.

"BELLA!" the boys yelled to me outside my car door.

"Hi, my two favorite snacks!"

"Bella, I didn't know we were going to see you today." Kevin commented casually as he and his brother followed me to the back of the truck, Edward not far behind.

"Well, I'm just full of surprise aren't I?"

"Indubbly."

"Indubitably." Edward corrected.

"Daddy, that's what I said. Indubbly." Kyle corrected back.

"Yes, I see it now. You did have it right."

"Father, it's not see, it's hear. You are inconceivable." Kevin also corrected. I had to hide a snicker as I handed each of the boys two light plastic bags and told them not to peak and wait for us inside.

After the boys were out of ear shot, I turned to Edward and said in a southern bell accent, "I do declare, you have been schooled by a couple of four year olds and your own off spring at that. I nev'a and 'spect I nev'a will again." I finish and laughed. Edward glared at me a moment, then decided to see the humor in it all and joined in.

It was pretty funny watching four year olds use words that most adults don't know and correctly at that.

"How does your sister teach them to use those words? The boys are extremely smart for their age, but that was just ridiculous."

"I have yet to figure it out, myself. She refuses to tell me how she does it and when I ask the boys, they just look at me like I'm stupid."

"Compared to them, maybe you are."

Edward laughed, heartily. "Maybe I am."

Ahhh! He just agreed with me! My mojo is back and better then ever!

Edward had two window frames in his hands and I had the rest of the bags. We made our way into the house, me struggling and Edward gliding along like some Greek God. The boys met us at the door and closed it once we were inside. Edward rested the frames up against the back of the couch and took some of the bags from my hands.

"What is all this stuff?"

"You know, I thought my best friend was impatient, but you could very well be worse. I wouldn't be surprised if the two of you were related."

"Maybe we should do my genealogy and see where she falls in the family tree."

"Mighty arrogant aren't we."

"Not arrogant, confident."

"You say tomato, I say tomoto."

"Bella, what is all this stuff?"

"Yeah, what is it? It sure looks cool."

"It is cool. We are going to make signs for your room and homemade cards for you to give to your grandmother tomorrow."

"Really!"

"Yes really," I said smiling brightly at the boys, "Edward, do the boys have old cloths that they can put on that you don't mind getting dirty?"

"Of course. Boys go and put on your play clothes," he said and the boys were gone before he finished his gentle command.

"Okay, are you going to tell me now?"

"I thought I just did. We're making name signs for them and cards."

"Name signs? Cards? How? What are the windows for?" he asked a million questions as I grabbed the bags and headed to the kitchen and he followed suit with the rest.

"First, we are going to put this over the table so it doesn't get ruined," I instructed.

After we had the cloth over the table, I lifted one of the frames and removed the backing I had made for it today; Edward followed suit without questions assuming that I was going to continue to ignore his questions. He was just going to have to wait and see.

We placed the backs, face side up, on the tables and Edward placed the glass and frames against the wall so they didn't get broken. I opened up all the bags and started arranging them on the table. Edward helped by pulling the supplies out and handing them to me, and I would place them where they needed to be.

"Polyurethane, beans, wood glue, letters, paint brushes, plastic cups and bowls? Bella what are we doing with all this?" he asked curiously. I raised my hand to his face and patted it lightly, getting a slight shock and turn away from him and to the boys. They had their stools from the bathroom I told them to go back and get after they changed.

"Okay, boys, set up your stools here," I said pointing to the spot between Edward and me.

I pulled out the letters I had made a few days ago and put them on their respective boards. Kevin was beside me and Kyle was beside Edward. Their name was spelled out in block lettering and the inside hollow so it could be filled.

"How do you want your name on the board? Zigzag, straight, crooked…what?"

"I want mine like a crooked," said Kyle and Edward began to place his letters the way Kyle wanted them without instruction from me.

I think he's really starting to get this you ask and I won't tell thing I've got going on.

"Pumpkin Bear, how do you want yours?" I asked running my hand down the back of his head.

"Can…can I have mine where some are up and some are down?"

I took the letters of his name and placed them backwards across the inside of the frame off setting the letters. The K, V, and the N were a couple of inches higher than the E and I. After I had them where I wanted them; I looked at Kevin to see if it was right. He smiled the biggest smile and nodded his head. Edward was waiting on us since Kyle knew what he wanted; I handed him a pencil and told him to mark the letters so they could be glued into the right spots.

Once all the letters were glued down with wood glue, I got one of the big plastic bowls I brought and mixed two parts wood glue to one part water. When it was the consistency I wanted, I came back to the table and set the bowl between us standing behind Kevin again.

"Pick what color beans you want."

"So we're filling in the letters with these beans making a picture of sorts with there names." He stated, obviously, while the boys talked about what color beans they wanted.

"That's the plan."

"This is really nice. I think they will love this when it's done. How did you come up with this idea?"

"Judy Swan was a crafty woman in her day," I said simply.

"I love that you do this for them."

"Trust me, I get more out of it then they do."

"Daddy, I want green and yellow."

"Okay," he replied picking up one of the brushes I set in the glue bowl, "How thick?"

"Give it a pretty nice coating then use the small white cups to scoop the bean and pour the beans. Fill it all the way to the top and smooth it out with that stick there," I said pointing to the end of the table.

"Did you pick a color yet, Pumpkin?"

"Bella I can't choose will you help me?" he said shyly. I smiled.

"How about you pick the filling for the name and I'll pick the outside. Sound good?" he nodded and chose blue beans to fill his name after a moment.

"Okay, how about…orange lentils to go around the outside to make the blue really pop?"

"I like that."

"Bella, what's a lentil?" Kyle asked from beside us as I helped Kevin spread the glue.

"Beans. You can eat them."

"This is food," Kevin asked looking up at me.

"Yes, see," I said as I reached my free hand into one of the bags and popped a kidney bean into my mouth and eat it.

"Ewww! Bella you ate it raw!"

"What? They are good, try one." I said handing each of them a green and black lentil. Edward looked at me with a smirk on his face. The boys ate them and immediately spit them onto the floor while Edward and I laughed.

"Bella, those are not good." Kevin stated. Some of them are okay cooked, but raw…

After about forty minutes, we had everything filled in and they were looking very nice. Kevin's letters were filled in with a blue bean and surrounded in orange, really making his dark name stand out against the contrast of the light and vibrant orange.

Kyle alternated between yellow and green for his name and surrounded it with a darker, green and blackish lentil. I handed Edward one of the polyurethane cans and instructed him to pour it over the whole thing generously as I did the same. Once we were done, we took them to his room so they could dry and not get messed up. Because of my balance issues, Edward, in the end, had to carry mine after I tripped before even picking the thing up.

While he put those away, I cleared the table so I could set it up for out next project.

"What's this?" Edward asked as he reentered the kitchen just as I was pulling out my grandmother's arts blender and plugging it in.

"It's to puree the paper with, of course. We are going to make homemade cards for your mother from the boys. I think any mother would love that. And you will get to make on for her too."

"Oh goody!"

"Don't be a smart 'A' double snakes; it's not very becoming." I said rolling my eyes as the boys began to rip the paper and put it into the blender.

It took about ninety minutes to get the paper pureed, poured, matted and remade in to paper that would serve as the boys' cards to their grandmother. It was crafty and showed how much they loved her, because they wanted to do it.

The boys really got into it too. They were having so much fun making paper from paper and couldn't wait until tomorrow to show them to her. Sometimes I wished I had been able to do this for my mother. But at that age, I didn't even know mine existed. She was never in my life and even to this day, I still don't have one.

"That was really…I don't know? I liked making paper. I think my mother will love that gift from the boys. Thank you."

"It was no problem. I really wasn't the type when I was younger," such an understatement. More like, never given the chance to be, "but I did enjoy some of my grandmother's pass times; this happened to be one of them." I answered back as we cleaned the table and packed everything up.

Edward and I were standing against the counter in the kitchen talking after we finished. Again, it was another pleasant conversation and I saw that we really did get along when he wasn't being a stick in the mud and I wasn't being a smart ass.

I guess he really wasn't so bad after all.

"Daddy, Bella, we're hungry." Kyle said coming in the kitchen reaching for me to pick him up and Kevin Edward.

"How about we go to the store and buy something to cook?"

"I love grossry shopping!" Kyle beamed from my arms meaning to say grocery shopping.

"Bella, I have plenty of food to cook here and I'll cook. You did so much already."

"Nope. I know what I want to cook and you will do no such thing. You can _help_, but not take over. Got it?"

"But-"

"Got it?"

"Got it." He sighed defeated.

"Good."

"Can we help?"

"I wouldn't have it any other way, Punddin' Cup."

**Edward's POV**

Bella was slightly turned around in her seat having an animated conversation with the boys as I drove us to the store to get something for Bella to cook for dinner. Not many people could hold a conversation for any length of time with a couple of four year olds, but Bella was proving to be more than wonderful.

She had come up with the great activities for the boys to do together. She helped them make their own name sign for the bedroom walls and homemade cards for my mother tomorrow. I was a little skeptical about the construction paper in the blender with water and glue, but it seemed to work out fine.

But the best part was that she actually included me in it; she wanted me to be there and to help. I thought I would just be in the way or maybe the boys wouldn't want me there, but they did. I had been feeling like such a failure as a father, and Bella seemed to know everything there is to know about children, even after claiming to never want any. I don't see how someone so adamant about not having or wanting children can be so intoned to their needs and wants.

Not only was she good with them, but she knew how to handle them. She reminded me so much of Esme. She knew what to do, when to do it and how to do it. She knew what children would and wouldn't eat, however, she knew the cardinal rule, don't ask don't tell. Most children wouldn't eat certain things if they knew what it was.

She was perfect with them, with us.

Now she was cooking dinner. I tried to object, but she wouldn't let me. She had been on her feet all day, not to mention she said something about going out this morning to get supplies and know she was cooking us a meal. I had the feeling this wasn't going to be a simple meal either; nothing with her was ever all that simple.

The boys were walking in between us, holding each others hand and their free one holding ours. We looked like a family going to the store. Everyday with Bella seemed like a dream, a dream I never wanted to end. I hadn't known her very long, but all I thought about was her. Her, the boys and me; we being an _us_.

I longed to tell her how I felt or ask her out on a date, but I couldn't help but feel like she didn't have the same connection with me. It was as if she wanted to keep a certain amount of distance between us, while still being there. Like she was protecting herself or us, but from what I couldn't figure out.

Aside from her, occasional, sly tongue, she was as sweet as honey and as gently as a butterfly. It was a saying that my father once said about my mother. And it was true, it was Esme to the 'T' and it seemed to be Bella. No matter how much she tried to be hard, I could see that there was an underlining to it all. She wasn't as tough as she made herself out to be; that tough exterior was her wall that she put up.

I want break down that wall and be there when she cried and when she laughed. I wanted to be the one she came to in her time of need or just when she was happy. I wanted her to share her happiness with me and no one else.

But the more I tried to peak into her mind, see what was really there, the further away I seemed to get. She was…opening up some, allowing me to see past her hard exterior, but there was more than meets the eye. She was, not so much as, hiding something from me, but she was definitely keeping something from me. Something she didn't want me to see; perhaps something she was ashamed of, though there could never be anything about her or anything she has done that would not make me…love her.

She needed someone; someone to love her and that someone was me.

"Can we get candy?" Kevin asked looking hopeful.

"No."

"Ah, daddy, please! Please, please, please, please, pleassssse!" Kyle pleaded with me. I hated it when he did that, it was almost impossible to resist.

"Kyle, I sa-"

"How about I bake cookies. Cookies that will make candy taste like dirt and not as bad for you." She said sounding like a question, though I knew she meant it as a statement cutting me short.

Why do I sense a pattern beginning?

"Can you do that?" Kevin asked astounded at the prospect of magical cookies.

"I can do much mo-"

"Oh! Excuse me; I didn't see you standing there. I am terribly sorry for running into you like that." A redheaded woman said to me picking up her basket and smiling strangely at me.

"No, it was my fault. I'm very sorry," I said turning away from her and back to Bella and the boys.

"Oh, well that's okay, I'm Jessica and you are?"

"My daddy!" Kevin said reaching for Bella to pick him up. It seemed as if he was trying to make a point and I wouldn't stop him.

Bella reached down automatically and picked him up and stared at Jessica, I think, with a blank face. She didn't seem to be fazed by the woman's presence at all and that bothered me a little.

"Oh, is that your son?"

"He," Kyle said pointing at me, "said that was his daddy and he's my daddy too and we are twins, duh!" he finished reaching up for me to pick him up.

"Kyle, that was rude, apologizes right now." Bella said in a stern, but gentle voice; emotion crossing her face for the first time since Jessica bumped into me.

"Oh!" Jessica said as if noticing Bella for the first time. How could she miss her? She was standing right next to me and holding Kevin on her hip.

"But she-"

"No buts, Kyle."

"Oh, its fine. I don't take offense at all." She said moving to pinch Kyle's cheeks, but before she could, Kevin reached over and slapped her hand away from his brother.

"Disgraceful."

"Kevin!" Bella and I both said.

"What? She is like a slattern. And she tried to put her flabby hands on my face." Kyle said sticking up for his brother as he stuck up for him.

"Where did you learn those words?" I asked the both of them.

"Auntie Ally gave us those words a long time ago for when a woman tried to," Kevin started, then paused to think. "shamelessly throw herself at you." Kyle finished angrily.

"Kevin, Kyle, those are not words that you say about people, especially when you don't know what they mean," Bella stated.

"But we do, and Auntie was showing how some woman was trying to get Uncle Jay to notice her. She didn't know we were watching, though."

Jessica seemed to come out of her trance or shock from what the boys were saying about her and snapped, "Why you little ba-" Bella cut her off, putting Kevin down and stepping forward.

"If you finish that statement about my boys, you will get some words. I suggest you take heed to what they said and stop making a fool of yourself," Bella said deadly calm and Jessica dropped her food and ran out the store at the look of murder Bella had written all over her face.

"As for you two, I will deal with you when we get home."

"Yes, Bella," the boys said with their heads down. She picked them up, sat them in the carriage, kissed them both and finished shopping.

The car ride back was quiet, but comfortable. The boys were whispering lightly to each other and Bella had her head against the headrest gazing lazily out the side window. She was so quiet and I desperately wanted to know what she was thinking. I wanted to want until we got home, but I couldn't take the silence.

"What are you thinking?"

"About the boys. They were way out of place, especially for their age, but I can't blame them." She whispered, "It was too funny. You should have seen your face and hers. It was priceless."

"What do you think we should do about there punishments?" I asked as we stepped out the car and unbuckled the boys.

Bella was quiet for a moment as she pondered my question.

"For now I say we just not make the cookies and have a talk with them. I don't really think they understand what they did or said. I don't think your sister gave them all those words. It sounded like she gave them one or two and the boys being as smart as they are, over heard her talking and saw what she was doing and stored that information and those other words away for later use at the…appropriate time."

"That makes sense," I said agreeing with Bella as we took the bags in the house. The boys were already inside in their room changing clothes. Alice was a woman of her own rules, but I know she wouldn't give the boys all those words to use that way.

Bella made her way to the kitchen and started setting up. She pulled out a big pot, filled it full of water and sat it on the stove top to boil. Once she was done with that, she made her way to one of the ovens and set it at 450°F. At that moment, the boys were running back into the kitchen to help. I told her I'd be back in a few and made my way to the master bedroom.

I took off my clothes, throwing them into the laundry and stepped into the shower. The water was hot, hotter than normal, but that's how I needed it. Today had been more than I expected. I could have never imagined a day like this. We were; dare I say it, a family. She was the mother and I was the father. We worked together and enjoyed each others company.

It was strange the feeling I had all of a sudden. It was like playing house.

A missing memory.

The way she took up for Kevin and Kyle was…there are no words and she called them her boys. I didn't know if she meant it or was just saying it to get rid of that Jessica girl, but either way, I loved the way it sounded. They were her children in everyway that truly mattered. She loved them and they loved her and I knew it, she had to make the choice between saving their lives and risking hers, she gladly, without a second thought put herself in danger to save them.

When I stepped back in to the kitchen twenty minutes later, Kyle was helping Bella put the lasagna in the pot of boiling water and Kevin had a knife on the other side of the island, cutting onions and peppers.

Knife! Cutting!

"Bella, do you really think it's okay to allow a four year old to use a knife?" I asked incredulously.

"Edward, calm down, please. I pre-chopped them and it's a plastic butter knife. Why don't you stop trying to run my kitchen and come help Kyle stir the sauce, please," she stated, as a question though it wasn't one. I immediately obeyed and stepped behind Kyle as Bella moved out the way.

Bella handed me the onions and peppers that Kevin cut and told me to help Kyle put them into the sauce. As the sauce simmered, Bella put another pan on the stovetop and heated some oil. While it heated she seasoned the ground chicken and turkey and the put it in the pan.

She took Kevin off his chair and moved it to the stove and helped him back up. I stood in between the boys and helped them stir the sauce and meat.

Bella went back to the other side and began to peel and slice eggplant, squash, and zucchini. I thought she was nuts for buying that for the boys to eat, but she said they'd eat it and like it. Who was I to disagree? She had been right before, besides, my dad said to always let the woman be right even when she was wrong.

After all the vegetables were peeled and sliced, she laid them out on a sheet pan. Sprinkled on a couple different seasonings I didn't even know I owned, then drizzled on some extra virgin olive oil and popped the sheet pan in the oven to roast.

She came back over and took over helping Kevin with the meat.

After the vegetables were just about tender, Bella took them from the oven. She went to the fridge and took out the cottage and mozzarella cheese, grabbed a large deep pan and started to assemble the many layers of lasagna with the help of Kevin and Kyle. The three of them moved in perfect harmony together, laughing and talking as they went.

Every so often Bella would give the boys some cheese and kept going. I loved the way she seem one with the kitchen. So in tuned; in rhythm never missing a beat as she would occasionally look up at me and smile.

This was the way it was supposed to be.

_* * *RMF* * *_

_**HUGE THANKS TO:**_

_**English Enthusiast**__ for the word__ disgraceful __**and **__for coming up with the idea of the boys using some of the big words to fend of all the little bobble-heads that come at their father. __**Ksangi**__ for giving me the word __inconceivable__. _

_**Thanks a bunch!**_

_**cherrytone, thanks a million! **_

_**Thanks a million orange sky scarper with banners announcing Orange Holiday!**_


	15. Oh, Happy Mother's Day

_**Onward with the read!**_

It was 8am and I was up despite the night I had and the fact that I haven't slept in two days. On Saturday, I spent the day with Edward and the boys making crafts. We helped the boys make name pictures for their room and homemade cards for their grandmother.

Once we were done doing all of that, I made them eggplant, squash and zucchini lasagna for them. At first Edward wouldn't let me, and then he realized he didn't have a choice in the matter. I was going to cook and he could either eat or not eat; it was up to him. He had also been very seriously considering my mental stability at the thought of me actually expecting the boys to eat eggplant, squash and zucchini. And, once again, Edward underestimated the boys. Most times, it wasn't that they didn't like certain foods; it was just presented to them wrong.

They had found the vegetables to be fun because they looked fun; therefore, making them eager to try them.

But the highlight of the whole day had to have been at the grocery store. This redheaded woman accidentally, on purpose, bumped into Edward dropping her shopping basket on the floor.

She was dressed in a skin-tight outfit that looked as if it had been painted on. Her cleavage was practically falling out her blouse as she _slowly_ bent over to retrieve her fallen goods. She was completely throwing herself at him.

Edward apologized, for _her_ mishap, and proceeded to excuse himself, but she obviously couldn't take a hint. I didn't say a word on the matter, because it wasn't my place to. I wasn't Edward's girlfriend or wife, so I kept my mouth shut…at least until she tried to call the boys bastards.

Kevin and Kyle had gotten very defensive when she started making passes at him and decide to take matters into their own hands. Despite the boys' word, it wasn't her place to speak out of turn and to use such language in front or about them. If she had been able to finish her statement, I can't say that I would have been able to restrain myself from giving her two tight slaps.

She was rude and disrespectful, that I just couldn't stand for. Edward and I _appeared, _I'm sure, to be romantically involved; married with children and she still decided to throw herself at him shamelessly.

The boys' vocabulary for her was more than colorful, to say the least, but Edward and I had to sit down with them a have a talk about what not to say. They were right on the money with their…characterization of her, but they were much too young for that sort of language.

In the end, their punishment was no cartoons for the week. They didn't like the fact that they would be missing _Sponge Bob_, but Edward was more than happy with the arrangement.

Forty-eight hours, no sleep, it was past nine and I hadn't even felt a bit of tiredness, I decided to get up. There was no point in prolonging the inevitable and I would have to get up anyway seeing how as I can't sleep past nine.

Taking Goober for a walk seemed like the perfect idea for the occasion. I wanted to get up and out before the weather turned bad as it always did in Washington State, but today was proving to be quite different.

The sun was out, the birds were actually chirping and there was just the faintest hint of warmth nestled in the gentle breeze. This would be the first Mother's Day in four years that started out bright and sunny. And despite the general splendor of it all, I couldn't bring myself to make my mood reflect the day's cheeriness.

My mood reflected Washington's respective climate; dark, gray and gloomy and for once, I wished for it to be cold and rainy.

I didn't want to see the sun shining or hear the birds chirping at the prospect of a whole day of sun shine. My mood was not light and airy or any of the things that one would associate with spring time. My mood mirrored a hurricane. Thunderously swirling around and destroying everything in its path.

I've never understood why Mother's Day disturbed me so. I hadn't_ lost _my mother or anything like that, that could justify my hatred of the day. It had never bothered me before. It was always just another day to me. I would, on occasion, go to Alice's house and give Esme flowers and a card, but that's it. Though, now, I hardly talk to Esme when Mother's Day rolls around. I have flowers and a card sent to her, but I never call.

I always like to be alone on this day.

Perhaps it reminds me too much of the once happy life I had. What once filled the void that was left by Renee was now, with no one here to fill it, a wound that is forever open and un-healing.

She took me away from all I had. I never even knew she existed and it didn't bother me in the least, because I had dad, Grandpa Henry, and for a short time I had Grandma Judy. I _had_ the greatest family anyone could ask for and the most wonderful extended family that was there for me.

But that one year changed it all. Renee came back and took me from my father. Demanded I stay with her, because Charlie wasn't fit to care for me.

He didn't have any problems raising me for the nine years prier, so why at ten years of age, when I could practically take care of myself, did she think Charlie wasn't fit? Charlie cared for me after she walked out of _our_lives when I was seven months old. He provided everything I needed and never once had a problem. She was delusional, but somehow she got custody of me.

I cried for weeks after Renee took me to Phoenix.

I had always loved our rare sunny days in Forks, but being in the sunshine, having it feel warm when it's supposed to; not having to wear rain coats and just being able to wear shorts and flip flops wasn't worth it if I didn't have my family. They were my whole life, all I knew and this woman, Renee, my mother, was a stranger to me.

A stranger that forever destroyed my family.

I can't out rightly blame Renee for what happened to them, but the events of our lives were forever changed by her act of selfishness. She never wanted me, never loved me, though she expected me to and thought she deserved my love.

I looked up from my feet as I entered my driveway, returning from Goober's walk, to see an unfamiliar car in my there. It was a brand new Range Rover and I was sure I didn't know anyone with one of those.

"Isabella. Where have you been?"

Speak of the devil and _she_ shall appear.

There goes my mood scale.

"What do you mean, where have I been?" I asked looking at her strangely. Why was she here, at my door, unannounced?

"I've been waiting here for over an hour!" she said sounding like she was done, but she couldn't be. I had no idea she was coming.

"Well?"

"Well what?" I asked back moving past to her to open the door.

"Don't you have anything to say to me?"

"Hello Renee?"

"Isab-"

"Bella," I said cutting her off and correcting her.

"Isabella, I am your mother and I deserve a little respect," she said putting her hands on her hips.

"And just how did I disrespect you?" I asked walking into the kitchen with Goober so I could feed him.

"You called me Renee."

"That's your name is it not?" She sighed deciding she wasn't going to have that conversation right now.

"Why is that mutt in the house, Isabella? Take him outside."

"First, my dog is not a mutt. Second, Goober is a house dog. This is my house and if you have a problem with that, then you can leave. But do not come here and tell me how to run my house." I said casually. Every single time she came here, it was always something. Nothing was ever good enough for her.

Always something to nit-pick about.

"I just think-"

"Renee, when I want or need your opinion, I will ask for it, thank you." I said curtly.

"Are you going to get ready now?" she asked ignoring my comment as always.

"For?"

"It's Mother's Day!"

"Yes, I know."

"So you are going to take me to lunch," she stated as if it was obvious.

"I am?"

"Yes." I sighed not wanting to get into it with her and left to shower.

I was barely in my room for twenty minutes before she came knocking on my door demanding to know what was taking me so long.

"Maybe next time you could call and check before you pop up at peoples' houses with your own agenda for the day on their schedule." She didn't reply and I knew there would be no more on the subject.

I immerged fifteen minutes later to find my living room rearranged and goober nowhere to be found. She had done it again. I thought I had made it clear the last time she was here that I didn't want her rearranging my things the way she saw fit. That I didn't want her infringing her wants for _my_ house on me. She never seemed to learn and continuously proceeded to push herself into my life.

"What happened to my house and why is Goober in the backyard?"

"That dog doesn't belong in the house; he'll track hair all over the place. This arrangement allows for more sun light to come through and really make everything brighter." What was she talking about? What sun? This is Washington, there was never any sun.

The walls were painted in a light color and the front of the house allows as much natural, non-sun light to come through as possible considering it was lined in eight foot windows. My office had a large bay window that faced the living room and the sliding doors dividing the rooms were always open. This room was as bright as it was going to get.

I made a conscious decision not to argue about this. She would never see my point or allow me to have my things the way I wanted them and I would just change it back once she was gone. Besides, I already had a headache at the thought of spending no less then an hour at lunch with her and arguing would only lead to a full blown migraine.

I put on my coat; it was still Washington, grabbed my keys and headed to the back door to let Goober back in the house. There was no way I was going to leave him outside. Renee looked at me as I reentered the living room with Goober close behind and huffed out the front door. I followed her out, locking the door behind me and headed to my truck.

"Aren't riding with me?" Renee asked letting down her passenger window.

"No, I'll drive myself.'

"Am I so bad that you can't even ride with your own mother, or do you just not love me?" I pondered what she asked for a moment before answering. I had tried, really tried to get along with her, love her, but I couldn't. How could I love someone who never loved or wanted me?

I was never good enough for her, but yet she wanted my love.

Renee thought I was too much like Charlie and Grandpa Henry. That they had too much influence on me and that was my downfall in her eyes. And Alice, she was no good and her parents were out of order with their say in my life which she thought contributed to my distaste for her.

My…low tolerance levels for the woman who gave me life had nothing to do with the people who loved me and everything to do with her. I was her one life's mistake aside from marring Charlie. He wasn't good enough for her and neither was his offspring.

I looked away from Renee and climbed into my truck without answering her. I wasn't factious enough to tell her the truth; that I didn't love her the way a daughter loves a mother and that I wish she had never come back into our lives, and I couldn't give her a plausible excuse either. She didn't deserve and certainly didn't earn the privilege of receiving a lie to make her feel better.

It took about thirty minutes to get to La Bella Italia, because Renee drove like driving Miss Daisy. When we arrived at the host's stand, there was a young man taking names. He took Renee's name down and told us it would be about an hours wait.

Renee tried to strike up a conversation with me a few times, but the few cooking magazines they had sitting on the sides of the bench were becoming very interesting. After about thirty minutes, Angela and her family came in. It was her, Ben, and both of their parents.

"Bella!"

"Ang! Ben! How are you?"

"We're fine. Fancy seeing you here."

"Well, what can I say Ben, I'm a busy woman," I commented back as everyone laughed except Renee. It was something Ben and I did once and now it's sort of become a thing with us.

"Mr. and Mrs. Cheney how are you? I haven't seen you in so long," I said giving them each a hug and turning to Angie's parents.

"We're fine honey, how have you been?" Mrs. Cheney asked.

"I'm good. Still working from home, which you know I love." I answered, everyone laughed again.

"Mr. and Mrs. Webber."

"Bella, so nice to see you again. I hear your dating an agent," Mr. Webber said moving his eyebrows up and down suggestively.

"Ang, you didn't."

"I did."

"Bill, why must you tease her so?" Mrs. Webber asked as she slapped her husband playfully.

"She must have done something to my Angela, because Angie here is so sweet," Ben said taking up for his wife.

"That's right son, just suck up and nothing will go wrong. It's what we men do."

"Excuse me? Did you just say-"

"How much I love and adore my wife, then yes. That's _exactly_ what I said."

"Yup, he got it honestly," I snickered. The wives laughed and the husbands glared.

"Bella, you're dating? I didn't know you were dating."

"I'm not. It's just Angela's way of getting me back for taking her shopping with me and Alice. Oh, I sorry everyone, this is my mother Renee Dwyer. Renee, these are Ben and Angela's parents," I said and they made their introductions and nice to meet you's.

"Bella, how did this happen?"

"She was there when I got back from my walk with Goober. I didn't even know she was coming," I whispered back.

"I have an idea, why don't you all join us for lunch."

"Oh, no, Bella, we wouldn't want to impose," Mrs. Webber said.

"No, no, it's no problem. It would make it all the more enjoyable. All of us together," I said walking away to change the number of people in our party and it took another hour to clear a table that was big enough to seat all of us.

"Renee, you have the sweetest daughter. She sent me the loveliest arrangement that I received this morning. Thank you, Bella." Mrs. Cheney gushed.

"Oh, yes, thank you so much, Bella. They were beautiful." Mrs. Webber said.

"It was no problem, Happy Mother's Day."

Lunch passed without at hitch, mostly because there were other people there to keep me from pulling out my hair. I mostly talked with Angela and Ben, while the _adults_ had their own conversations. If Angela and Ben hadn't of shown up, I have no clue how this lunch would have gone.

We spent about two hours in La Bella Italia just talking and having a good time before we decided we should give up the table and allow other families to have a meal.

"Bella, you must call me so you and I can go shopping."

"So am I not invited on these shopping excursions now?" Mrs. Cheney pouted.

"Kim, I assure you, you will have plenty of chances to shop with Danny," Mr. Cheney commented.

"Don't I know it." Mrs. Webber shot her husband a glare.

"Kim you know you were coming, of course and Renee you are invited as well."

"I think I'll pass, thank you," I commented huffing and crossing my arms.

"Your still not gripping about the last time are you?" Angela said in disbelief.

"I'll remember that comment the next time Alice shows up."

"Point taken." Everyone laughed and we eventually said our good byes after everything died down.

"Good bye, Renee." I said after everyone was gone.

"Isabella, why didn't I get any flowers?" I was quiet for a moment.

"I don't know what kind of flowers you like, besides you're allergic anyway." Truth was, I hadn't thought about Renee at all when I ordered the flowers.

"That's not the point."

"Then what is? You're allergic, why would I send you flowers?"

"You didn't even wish me Happy Mother's day."

"Oh, Happy Mother's Day."

"That's not the same." I sighed.

"Renee, can we do this another time? I am really tired and I need to let Goober out."

"Why can't you call me mom?"

"Why can't you call me Bella?" I retorted.

"Because I named you _Isa_bella."

"That's all you did."

"What's that supposed to mean."

"I can't get into this with you right now. I'll talk to you later." I finished trying to avoid an argument, but Renee was always one for the dramatics.

"Isabella, you need to get over it and stop blaming me for what happened. They were grumpy old men and you were the better off without them. I am your mother and you need to treat me as such," she said strongly.

"Mother? Mother? You never wanted me. You left me, then stole me from my family. The family that loved me, wanted me, cared for me and never left me. You have never been my mom so I will not call you what you're not. Charlie and Henry were all I had when you decided we weren't good enough for you. Because of you, I lost precious time with them and that is unforgivable," I said angrily to her, then jumped in my truck and left.

I couldn't believe she had the audacity to think she was actually my mom. She may have given birth to me and named me, but that's all she ever did. Not once was she ever a mother to me. Esme was the only _mother_ I had. She taught me the things all mothers teach their daughter. She explained how life worked and took me out once I became a woman. Renee was never there for any of that. It was always Esme, my real mom in everyway that mattered.

How she could think I would love and respect her when she has done everything in her power to hinder that?

As I started home, speeding well over the limit, the once sunny weather was now gloomy and cold. The rain started to come down slowly, but quickly turned into a fierce rain storm. The sad thing about it was, my mood was out shinning the storm. The tears were pouring out of my eyes in buckets as I veered in and out of traffic as fast as I could. I was driving home so quickly that I almost had an accident. All I wanted to do was get home and wash away all the pain that was tearing me up inside. I desperately tried to keep this pain at bay, but what Renee said was making it harder, by the second, to continue on, burying away my feelings.

I swung my truck into the drive way too quickly, that had it have been anything other than a BMW, it would have flipped. I rushed into the house only to be met with Goober. I laid my keys on the table and hung my jacket up before I walked to the back door to let Goober out. He was out and back inside in a matter of seconds. He was used to the rain, but didn't love it.

I walked back to the living room and looked around at my house and a sob racked through my body. It was still the way Renee had left it and the thought of that only made me think about what she said. She was killing everything that was my life. Ruining everything she touch and I couldn't stand to be there any longer.

I ran out the house walking as quickly as my two left feet could take me. I didn't know where I was going, but all I knew was that I couldn't be in that house. Renee being there today and the blasphemous things she said about the people I loved most was too much. It only made me remember how my life got turned upside down.

**Flashback**

**June 19, 1998/Bella age 15**

'_Alright, Bella, tell Charlie I will call him later once he gets home, okay?'_

'_Sure thing, Billy. Bye Jacob, I'll call you tomorrow.'_

'_Sure, sure. Bye, Bella,' Jacob teased. I fell asleep reading the last time I was supposed to call him, so now I'll never hear the end of it._

_I went in the house and decided to take a shower. I really needed a hot shower. It had been a long hard day and all I wanted to do was wash away the grime. The shower was hot and soothing as I stepped under the spray. My muscles were so tense that it took a while for them to relax a little under the hot steam. I shampooed my hair in my favorite strawberry shampoo, then lathered my bath ball with freesia scented body wash. Alice always said I was crazy for two different scents at one time, because 'it confuses the scent' she said._

_She always had some crazy excuse for things and a chart to prove it._

_I stepped out of the shower and quickly dressed wondering if I should cook or not. I decided that if we had food, I'd cook, but if not, we'd order pizza or something when dad got home. _

_I made my way quickly down the stairs, so not to have to end up in the hospital too. When I finally made it to the kitchen, I discovered that we didn't have any food in the house worth cooking. I had Billy's old truck now that he was in a wheel chair, but dad said I couldn't drive by myself until I had my license; next year._

_We hadn't been shopping lately, mostly eating out because Grandpa Henry was in the hospital. After my supposed mother came back from who knows where and took me with her, he had fallen ill with prostate cancer. Renee wouldn't even let me come back and visit him after he was diagnosed. She thought it was better for me not to see him._

_But after chemo and radiation, he was in remission. I was so scared that I would never see him again, when dad called me and told me the doctors said he was in remission, I nearly fainted. He was going to live a little longer and the best part was that I would be able to see him again._

_After nearly four years of legal battles, Charlie finally got custody of me back, but I still had to visit Renee during the summers. When I returned home I was more than happy to see my dad and grandpa. Things quickly went back to the way they were when I was nine. Alice and her family were just as happy to see me as I was them._

_Emmett, Alice's eldest brother already had his license and when he didn't have anything to do, I made him take me to the hospital so I could bring Dr. Cullen, or Carlisle as he likes me to call him, lunch so he didn't have to eat the hospital food. Esme sometimes made him lunch, but I asked if I could do it in thanks for everything he did._

_Carlisle wasn't an oncologist, but he took course and studied up on Grandpa Henry's type of cancer. The oncologist from Seattle could only come down once maybe twice a week since there wasn't one in Forks. Grandpa Henry couldn't make the long commute to Seattle three times a week and he couldn't stay there by himself. _

_Dad wanted to take leave from work, but Grandpa Henry, being the stubborn man he was, wouldn't hear of it._

_Today, I had gone to the hospital to visit with him. Over the last year since I came home, he had been getting weaker. He slipped getting out of the fishing boat last week, so dad and Billy insisted he go to see Carlisle just incase he hurt his hip or something. Carlisle ran some test and found that his cancer was back and it was stage four and it had spread to his liver and lungs._

_When Carlisle told us that, it was as if I was hit with a two ton boulder. I couldn't believe he was dying; again. I couldn't stop the sobs that took over my body. My grandpa was my best friend. He was my rock and now he was being taken away from me. I felt like I was being cheated out of my time with him. The last four years I spent away from him and nearly lost him then and now I'm losing him again._

_Grandpa Henry's original doctor, Dr. Marmora said there was nothing they could do with it at that stage and even if it wasn't so far along, he probably wouldn't survive the treatments again at his age. He said that his best bet was to have surgery and he would live maybe another year or two. I wasn't happy with that outcome, but it was better then nothing at all. I would get more time with him and I wouldn't have to worry about not getting a proper goodbye. _

_He had surgery yesterday and today he was in recovery. Grandpa had seemed so full of life the first couple of days in the hospital, but today he looked so…frail. He was barely alert to us being there. He wouldn't drink his soup and his skin was so cold. It was like he had spent the night in an ice box. I tried to cover him with the blankets, but he would only remove those moments later, quietly complaining about it being hot._

_I stayed there for a few hours reading to him. He loved sports, It's where dad got his love of the game from, so I would read the scores to him and give him the play by play. I would even sit down with dad or Emmett at night and watch the game with them and take notes on the game or what they said so I could read it to him the next day._

_Since I wasn't going to be cooking, I decided to read a little to get my mind off of everything. This whole situation was stressing everyone out and I could swear I saw a gray hair yesterday. Alice said I was suffering form stress induced delusions. It wasn't true of course, but it was her way of cheering me up._

_I laid down and opened Wuthering Heights, but quickly closed it remembering someone died by the end of the book. More talk or reading of death was the last thing I wanted to deal with. I looked at some of my other books; Romeo & Juliet, Count of Monte Cristo…everything I had was classic and had some sort of death scene or tragedy before a happy ending came. _

_I was suddenly very sick and tired of the classics. I put on Moonlight Sonata and decide on Pride and Prejudice. It appeared to be the safest book in my collection to read. I had a few new books, but I didn't want to read those. Rarely do the summaries on the back tell you if someone dies._

_I must have fallen asleep, because it was dark out as I woke up to dad frantically waking me. I turned over to see my dad look like someone stole his puppy. His lips were quivering and his eyes were filled in tears as he stood before me looking like a little boy._

'_Bella, honey, Grandpa Henry passed. Harry called.' I just looked at him for a moment trying to comprehend what it is that he had said. Harry called and grandpa was dead._

_Dead?_

'_Bella, we have to go. We need to get to the hospital.'_

'_Okay,' I said getting out of bed and putting on shoes as dad left my room. When I got to the stairs, the sight before me was one I never thought I'd see. My dad was sitting at the bottom of the stairs crying like a baby. He lost his father and he wasn't even there._

_I made my way slowly down to him, slipping past him so I could stand in front of him. I wrapped my arms around my dad and just held him. He was so scared and in pain and all I wanted to do was hold him and take away all of his pain._

'_Dad, I'll drive,' I said as I pulled back from our embrace. He nodded at me and we headed out._

_The car ride was quiet except the occasional sniffle from dad. It seemed to take days to get to the hospital, but at the same time we seemed to arrive much too quickly. I parked the cruiser outside of emergency and lead my dad inside. We headed back to where Grandpa Henry's room was and I saw Harry, Billy, Jacob, Alice and the rest of the Cullen's standing a ways from the door._

'_Carlisle is in there now. I was talking to him and then I decided to read the newspaper. He was restless for a while, wanting to sit up and sometimes wanting a sip of water. He was like that for a couple hours, then he was fine. After a while I looked at him and he wasn't breathing. I called Carlisle and they've been in the ever since,' Harry explained quickly after we arrived._

_I just stood back from everybody as they talked. I didn't really know what I thought of the whole thing. It was…surreal I guess. My grandfather and best friend was dead and I wasn't even crying. Jacob and Alice came to stand by me, but didn't speak. After about twenty minutes, Carlisle and most of the nurses on the floor came out rolling my grandfather to another wing of the hospital._

'_We've got him back, Charlie and we are taking him to the ICU right now. He's in critical condition and on a ventilator to help him breath right now,' Carlisle told us. We followed him to the ICU waiting room where we all took a seat. Dad, Harry, and Billy left to talk to Carlisle some more while the rest of us stayed in the waiting room. _

_I rested my head back on the chair not thinking about anything in particular. My mind was blank and there was no activity. No one really talked, they mostly kept glancing at me, wondering why I was so quiet and when I would fall apart; I didn't. I just sat there starring into space._

_I eventually closed my eyes but I wasn't sleep. Everyone began to whisper thinking I was sleep. After a few minutes I got up, I wanted to go for a walk. I left the room without a word and walked outside. No one followed me when I left and I was happy for that._

_I didn't stay outside long, I just needed to get some air and be away from all the watchful eyes._

_Thirty minutes later, I went back and a few people were missing. _

'_Bella, I need to talk to you,' dad said seriously. I just looked at him._

'_Grandpa is brain dead. He's been on that ventilator for the past nine hours, he's not going to wake up. We are going to pull the plug. Are you okay with that?' Nine hours, had it really been that long? Had I really been here this long?_

'_It's what he would have wanted,' I replied simply._

'_We are all going in to say goodbye a couple at a time.' I didn't move. I didn't want to see him like that. They kept trying to get me to go in, but I didn't budge, didn't say a word._

_At just after nine a.m., we all gathered in his room for the finally far well. _

_Grandpa was lying in the bed with the blankets pulled up to his waist. There were all kinds of extra wires and needles sticking in him that weren't there before. There was a tube coming out of his mouth that was helping him breathe that made his chest rise and fall in consistent increments. _

_There were two monitors behind him with some sort of readings on them. One I recognized, because of the number of times I had been here, as the heart monitor. The other one had two container like things in it that was a quarter of the way full and a tube attached to it that led to his chest. There was a yellow liquid that kept moving back and forth in the tube that never seemed to go anywhere with every breath the machine made for him._

_He looked so lifeless and still. It wasn't natural to be that still._

'_Henry, you were always my favorite fishing buddy.'-Billy_

'_I'll miss you old friend. You were like a father to me growing up.'-Harry_

'_I'll keep up on the games for ya.'-Emmett_

'_So long, dad'_

_Everyone kept saying their little goodbyes and patting his hand or shoulder. Carlisle stood behind a tearful Esme as Gertrud, my grandfather's RN, started to turn off all the machines._

_Everyone, but me, started to cry as I watched the heart monitor after everything was turned off. He continued to breath and I wondered how long that could go on. I remembered Carlisle saying that sometimes, patients will breathe on their own for day's, maybe even weeks and I found myself hoping he would continue to breath and wake up and want to take me fishing._

_The heart monitor, to my dislike, start to slow. I watched closely, forgetting about everyone else, as the beats per minute started to get lower and lower until it hit zero and he was flat lined. I just stood there looking at the monitor not knowing what it meant._

_Emmett came up behind me and placed his hand on my shoulder and the first tear since we had been here, slide down my face._

'_Bella, it's okay to cry.' And that's all it took._

_Heart retching sobs consumed me as realization dawned on me. He was…dead. My grandfather was dead and I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye. I was supposed to have two years with him not a week; two years. He was fine yesterday and today he's dead, this was not supposed to be happening. He was supposed to live._

_Emmett turned me in his arms as I began to gasp for air. I couldn't breath. My body was heaving heavily as I tried to get air into my lungs, but with every breath I took, another sob racked my body and made it harder to catch my breath._

'_Get her out of here. Take her to the waiting room.' I barley heard Carlisle say over all my gasping._

_I tried to take a step as Emmett and Jacob led me out, but I couldn't walk. I didn't want to walk, but mostly I didn't want to leave. I kept gasping for air, each harder than the last. Finally Emmett lifted me in his arms and carried me to the waiting room and sat me in a chair._

'_Bella,' Carlisle said in his doctor voice, but with a slightly different tone to it, 'I need you to look at me.' I did._

'_You are having a panic attack and unless you can calm down I will have to admit you,' he said and I started to panic even more. I had always hated coming to the hospital, but being a klutz I had to learn to live with that. _

'_N-nnn-nn-n-no!' I croaked gasping. _

'_Focus on me and take deep breaths, Bella. I know you can do this. It's going to be okay.' I listened and took deep breaths. I took me five minutes before my breathing was normal and I had a light wheeze. _

_Emmett continued to hold me and rock me in his arms until everything went black._

**End Flashback**

*** * *RMF* * ***

_Okay, there it is._

_**Thanks cherrytone!**_

_**Thanks so million orange everything!**_


	16. Bella's Day

_**Onward with the read!**_

"MOM!" I shouted as I entered my parents' house. I was excited to see her even though I had seen her a few days ago.

My mother loved Mother's Day, because it was one of the few days out of the year the whole family was together, though she said most of the family. I never really understood what she meant by that; we were all here. Dad, Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, the boys and myself; there was no one missing, she always had an extra place set at the table. Who for, I didn't know.

No one else seemed to be bothered by this, so I left it alone.

I didn't ask and she didn't tell.

"Edward! I thought something had happened to you. You are twenty minutes late and you didn't answer your phone," she said hugging me fiercely. I was never late and always picked up my phone.

"I'm sorry mom. The boys wanted to stop and get something, I dropped my phone and it's not working correctly. I'll get a new one tomorrow and call you so you know," I told her so she wouldn't worry.

"It's no problem, dear. So long as you're okay." She beamed at me.

"Grandma, look what we made you," the boys said hugging her and pointing to the large package in my hand and handing her the cards.

"How about I open the cards first, then see what your daddy is hiding under all that brown paper wrapping," she said lifting the boys to the counter.

"Emmett, hey man," I said letting my hand out to pound fists with him.

"Eddie."

"Jasper, I hear you're up for an award at work. That's great to hear. You have been working extra hard the last year or so."

"Yeah, it was hard to-"

"I just called you Eddie and you didn't say anything," Emmett interrupted.

"What's the point, you have always called me Eddie and you're never going to stop."

"So you finally get that now?"

"Well, dear sister," I said bringing her into a tight hug and ruffling her hair, "I guess I should have listened to all your psychic predictions."

"Edward, dear, did you do this?"

"Do what, mom?"

"Make these cards."

"No the boys did, but I helped a little."

"There are beautiful, thank you. How did you learn to make these?" my mom asked the boys. I wondered what they would say. They hadn't mention Bella in the least, around the family and if they did now, I would have to explain.

I really wouldn't mind them telling everyone about Bella. I think they would all love her when they met her. I wanted her to come here with me today, but she said she had plans. Maybe with her mom, I don't know. I always get the feeling Bella doesn't want to talk about her family so I never ask her about it. When she wants to talk, she will.

I have a feeling that, that is a part of what she's keeping from me.

"Our friend helped us make it. She's really smart, like grandpa smart, too."

"And what friend would that be?"

"Just a friend we met out one day," Kyle replied like it was so normal for four year olds to just go out and make friends. Alice snickered and Jasper smirked.

What was that about?

"Can I open my gift now?"

"YES!" they shouted in unison.

"Edward, I hope you didn't rope the boys into spending money on me," mom whispered.

"They don't have any money," I replied slyly. She glared.

My mom actually glared at me. Glared!

"You know what I mean. You always like to spend money and I wouldn't mind a macaroni necklace every once in a while you know. They are my favorite grandchildren."

"They're your only grandchildren."

"Edward, leave your mother alone, please," dad said coming into the kitchen and giving me a hug.

"Don't think I won't take you over my knee and spank you," mom said with a smirk as dad lifted the gift onto a stool so she could open it easier.

"I though that was reserved for, Emmett?" I asked in mock horror.

"Guess you're not the golden boy any more, Eddie."

"Emmett, this isn't an Eddie Murphy movie." Alice chastised

"But still."

"Face it Em, I'm still the 'Golden Boy' I just do it differently now. I may get the comment, but I don't get the action, can we say the same for you?"

"He's got you there man." Jasper laughed nearly falling out of his chair.

"Looks like someone actually got himself some. About time too, cause your mood was getting old."

"What," Alice shrieked in…shock. Not shock, but…I don't know. She looked as it she had been betrayed.

"What did daddy get, Aunt Rosie?" Kevin asked looking between the two of us.

"Chickens."

"Chickens? Uncle Em, that sounds preposterous," Kevin replied back.

"Kevin, where did you learn that word? I didn't teach you that one," Alice asked curiously.

"Auntie Ally, you're not the only smart girl we know, you know," Kyle replied matter-of-factly. Everyone laughed.

"Was it Aunt Rosie?" she asked

"She's pretty."

"Well they nailed you to the 'T' haven't they?" I snickered.

"Edward, what has gotten into you? You have changed so much."

"More like, what has _he_ gotten into." Rose glared.

"Why that little, Benedict Arnold," Alice hissed. What was she upset about now?

"Do you mean that in a bad way?" I asked mom hoping she wasn't upset with me. She always wanted to see me happy and I didn't want to disappoint her with my behavior. I know I haven't been the most delightful person to be around at times, but I didn't want to make things worse.

"No," she said touching my cheek, "it's just that I haven't seen you in so long. You have finally returned to me," she said with tears in her eyes. I pulled her into a hug.

"I have always been here, mom."

"Yes, but now I can see you," she said looking into my eyes with her own green ones smiling back. I hadn't realized that she was hurting so much. My mother, my whole family meant the world to me and I don't know what I would do without them.

"Okay, enough of the touchy feelings, lets see what Eddie bought mom for Mother's Day from the macho men."

"Listening to the Village People again, Emmett," I stated.

"Edward I liked you better when you were moody." Emmett pouted.

"Okay, enough, children. Let your mother open her gift. I swear you two never grow up."

"It was his fault!" Emmett and I said at the same time then started to laugh pounding fists.

Mom rolled her eyes and proceeded to open her gift. Her eyes were bright with curiosity at the size of the gift. I hoped she would like it. I thought it would be just what she would want; something from the heart.

She ripped the paper off very quickly, much like Emmett did at Christmas when we were kids; still does. When she stood back from it to get a good look at it, she gasped.

"Boys, Edward…" she started to cry as she looked over her gift. I was hoping she would love it, but now I wasn't sure.

"Grandma, do you not like it?"

"Kevin, Kyle, I love it with all my heart. Thank you."

After we ate last night, Bella brought in another large picture frame and some other bags that I didn't notice were in her truck. She told me that the boys and I could make something, for Esme, of the same affect as we had made for the boys. She said it was just for the boys and me to do which is why she hadn't brought it up earlier. She said we didn't have to do it, but I thought it was a great idea.

_Grandma_ was spelled out at the top of the rather large frame in a half circle and each letter was filled in with different color beans. All around the picture there were blocks with pictures of the whole family inside of them and different color lentils around the inner-perimeter of each. I was suddenly very glad that my mom loved to make dozens of copies of every picture she gave us in our scrap books she made every year. The extra pictures I had were used in the center of all the blocks.

Mom and dad's wedding day, Alice, Emmett and mine baby pictures. Kevin and Kyle had pictures of when they got into mom's spaghetti and it was all in their hair when they were two. Emmett and Rose's wedding picture. There were just an assortment of pictures of the whole family from different years and event.

The extra space in the frame was filled in with mom's favorite color in beans; red. In the center of all the blocks, there was a large heart shaped one that was left open but the outer edges where filled in, in with pink and red beans.

I wondered how Bella had found pink beans, but she said she bleached them and then soaked them in some sort of pink stuff to get the right shade. Bella had gone through so much trouble to help us do this. She thought about us and went out of her way to help us give Esme a wonderful Mother's Day.

"Mom, the back unhooks so you can take the glass off and put whatever picture you want in the other open blocks. All you have to do is cut to size and paste in the middle."

"Oh, Edward, I love it. But why the large heart shaped one in the middle. Why didn't you put a picture in it?"

"I was instructed to leave it that way."

"By the boys?"

"Their…imaginary friend who helped them." She laughed at me and looked back at the picture.

"Are those beans, Edward?"

"Yeah, dad. Lentils, black, kidney and a few others."

"Won't they fall out if I take the glass off?"

"No. There may be a few lose ones here and there, but for the most part, everything is in tact and will not move."

The rest of the night was spent telling stories of past Mother's Days and just reminiscing on the old days. I could see my mom sneaking a glance at the picture every so often, smiling at it. She was really happy with what we got her and I had to thank Bella for what she did. I hadn't seen her this happy in a long time and now she looked absolutely stunning every time she smiled and it was all because of Bella.

"Dad, it's getting late. I don't want to miss her," Kevin whispered or at least it's what he thought he was doing.

Four year olds really didn't know the meaning of whisper.

"We will be going soon," I said trying to reassure him. The boys had been coming, alternating, back and forth to me every thirty minutes to see when we were leaving. I didn't want to rush out on my mom, though I was dying to see her again. It had only been twenty-four hours, but it felt like twenty-four years.

"Edward, can I talk to you a minute?" my mom asked. I got up and followed her out the living room and into the kitchen.

"Where is it the boys want to go?"

"Oh, mom, I sorry it's nothing really."

"Don't give me that, Edward Anthony Cullen. Where?"

"To see their…imaginary friend."

"Is that what they are calling her? Edward do you have-"

"Mom, I assure you, the boys just want to see their friend, nothing more."

"Okay, well you can take them. It's getting late and you have a long drive back to the city. I don't want you and the boys driving out there all night," she said starting to walk away.

"Mom I do-"

"Edward," she said turning to me with tears in her eyes, "this is what I always wanted for you. They all have someone and you…you're just all alone; all three of you," she continued, walking back to me, "I don't know who she is, but please bring her by. I want to see and thank the woman who gave me back my son and obviously loves those boys as her own."

"But, she-"

"She will be." She said nothing more as she walked out of the kitchen met by my father who put his arm around her and led her upstairs.

****

The ride back to the city was quiet. The boys fell asleep not long after I hit the road. They had been up later than usual to finish mom's gift and the prospect of seeing Bella again kept them up talking half the night about what she would think. They were so excited that they wore themselves out just from pure excitement.

I couldn't help but think about what my mom said to me before I left. How did she know about Bella? I was sure I hadn't said anything about her to anyone. And the boys, well they like to keep things to themselves, which is why she's the imaginary friend. I didn't realize that Bella had made such a big impact on our lives.

She was a force to be reckoned with and I would gladly welcome it.

I was twenty minutes from her house, according to the GPS and I couldn't wait to see her. I hoped she wouldn't have a problem with me just showing up. I had never been to her house, but when she gave me her number, she had filled out all the information from numbers, fax, email, address; she gave me everything.

I was starting to wonder if I was being selfish by coming over here instead of taking the boys home. It wasn't very late and they wanted to see her, but they needed to get to bed.

I pulled into Bella's driveway and parked to the left of her truck. It was a tight squeeze, because it was parked kind of catta-cornered in the driveway. There were no lights on in the house, but her car was there. I was going to get out the car and knock on the door before I woke the boys, but they woke up not long after the car stopped.

"Are we there yet?" Kyle asked.

"Yes, but she might not be home so stay here and I will go find out," I said and they both nodded looking hopeful.

It was pouring so I ran to the door not bothering with the umbrella. But when I got to the door, fear washed over me. The door was open and there was no sound. I pushed the door open a little further with the back of my hand only to be met by Goober. He was lying down in the foyer and got up when I cautiously stepped inside.

"Where's Bella boy?" I asked knowing I wouldn't get a response.

I decided I'd look around the house for her first before I truly started to panic. She had a ranch with three bedrooms, kitchen, living and an in home office, but she wasn't in any of the rooms. Her keys, I found, where on the table by the door and the coat I always saw her in was on the hook.

Where was she?

I heard the boys start to call for me and I heard one of their doors open up as they tried to get out.

"Boys, stay in the car," I yelled through the rain at them. It was getting darker out and a storm was starting. I hoped she wasn't out there in that, but more I hoped that someone hadn't taken her. I didn't know any of her friends or if she had any family to speak of, to call. I was completely lost as to what to do. Before I realized it, the boys had gotten out the car and ran to the house with Bella's gift in there hands.

"Boys."

"Where's, Bella, daddy?" Kevin asked looking at me with tears in his eyes. He knew something was wrong. What was I supposed to tell him?

I couldn't tell him everything would be okay, especially when I didn't even believe it and didn't know if it would be. Bella was missing and her house was left open. There was no sign of her or any kind of struggle. If she had been taken, it would have been by someone she knew.

Should I call the police?

No, no that won't work. They'll ask questions that I couldn't answer, then tell me because I really didn't know her that I couldn't really be sure of her character. This could be something she does often. But I know her, really I do and something was very wrong. Bella was in trouble and she needed me, but how could I help her? How could I find her?

I couldn't leave the boys alone to look for her and all my family was spending the night in Forks. I could call them and have them come and watch the boys then go, but it would take to long for them to get here.

It was worth a try.

I pulled out my cell phone and tried to call Jasper, but then I remembered it didn't work. I searched for Bella's house phone to use; when I found it I eagerly picked it up and began to dial. But just as it started to ring, the line went dead. What had just happened? Then I heard thunder.

The storm. Damn!

"Daddy, where's, Bella? I'm scared," Kevin said starting to cry.

"Daddy, I want, Bella." Kyle cried.

"Boys, I will find her, I promise. I won't let anything happen to her if I can help it."

I gathered both of them in my arms and walked to the kitchen. I put them on the counter as I used my phone's backlight as a flashlight to look for candles and matches. All of the cabinets were very organized, which surprised me, and I had no problem finding the candles and matches in the cabinet over the sink.

I lit a few candle, leaving one in the kitchen and placing a few around the living room. I placed the boys on the couch, still crying as I continued to look for any clues as to Bella's whereabouts.

I couldn't find a thing.

Now, more than ever I wanted to call the police, but there was no way with the phones out. I had to make myself sit down so I wouldn't pace and frighten the boys even more. Twenty minutes later they were sleep.

I picked up Kyle and took him to one of Bella's guest rooms, took off his shoes and pants and put him under the covers. When he was tucked in and still sleeping, I went back for Kevin and did the same. I watched them for a few minutes to make sure they wouldn't wake up. When I was sure, I left the room, leaving the door open.

I continued to worry and paced a hole into the floor as the minutes ticked away. I kept going outside and looking around but not seeing anything. When ten o'clock rolled around, I was getting so worked up and all sort of things started to run through my head. I had imagined everything imaginable. Bella had been gone for lord knows how long and I couldn't even go to look for her, I couldn't leave the boys unattended.

I wouldn't even know where to start.

Another fifteen minutes ticked by slowly; killing me. I decided to go back on the porch. I knew I wouldn't find anything, but I could not do anything. I stood on the porch, pacing again, as my mind really began to spiral out of control. I turned around, heading to the door, just as something caught my eye.

At first I thought I was just seeing things, but after further examination, I realized it was a person. A woman walking in the rain; it was Bella!

"Bella!" I shouted as I dashed out into the storm to get her. She was alright. She was alive, but what was she doing out here?

"Bella, are you alright?" I shouted as I ran to her.

"Edward?" she asked as she collapsed into my arm crying.

"Bella." I breathed as I lifted her in my arms. She was shivering and her body as convulsing from the cold or sobs, which I didn't know.

I ran her into the house as fast as I could. Her teeth were chattering as she held tight to me. I entered the house and kicked the door closed behind me. It could be locked later. I ran to her bedroom and laid her on the bed. I ran to the bathroom and turned on the shower, and then I ran to the kitchen to get more candles to light the room and bathroom, blowing out the others on the way back.

Bella was in a ball on the floor when I came back in the room. I quickly lit the candles and went to Bella.

"Bella, what happened?" she just looked at me and another sob escaped her.

I lifted her in my arm and took her to the bathroom. I sat down on the toilet top, with her in my lap and began to undress her.

"Bella, I'm sorry, but I have to get you out of these wet cloths and warmed you up."

After I had all her wet cloths off I threw them into the sink and sat her on the bathroom floor up against the tub, then proceeded to remove mine; everything but my briefs and tossed them into the sink as well. Once I was de-clothed, I picked Bella up, adjusted the water temperature and stepped in with her hugged against my body.

Moments later, she stopped convulsing as much, as her body temperature began to rise from the water and my body heat. She still had her arms pressed against my chest as I was supporting most of her weight as she continued to lean into my shoulder. I ran my fingers through her hair wondering what could have made her go out into the storm like that.

What had happened to make her so scared and miserable?

She was still crying lightly on my chest as she shifted, got closer to me. I wrapped my arms around her shoulders and back as I drew her nearer to me. She moved her hands down and wrapped them around my back and squeezed me as tightly as she could manage.

I shut off the water and stepped out with her. I grabber a Blue towel hanging behind the door and tucked it around her. I picked her up and took her back in the bedroom, setting her on the bed. I turned around and she grabbed me.

"Pl-please don't leave me." She cried, "Stay."

I kneeled down in front of the bed and brushed some hair out of her eyes, "I'm not going anywhere, ever. I'm going to get you some cloths to keep you warm."

"Bottom drawer," she replied simply.

I got up and went to her dresser and opened up her bottom drawer. In there I discovered male clothes. She was unbelievable. Even in her own time of need, she still thinks about others before herself. I quickly removed my wet briefs on put on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt and opened another drawer to find her some cloths.

Wait. Male cloths!

Where did she get these from? Whose were they originally?

I pushed those thoughts aside as I retrieved her cloths and helped her dress. I put her under the covers and got in beside her. She immediately snuggled into my chest. She began to cry again and I didn't know what to do.

There had been a tune in my head for the past couple of months that I couldn't finish, but now the melody, to the whole piece came to me. I started to hum the tune to her and her cries instantly began to die down. Another minute passed and her body completely relaxed and molded into mine as she fell into, what I hoped was a peaceful sleep.

*** * *RMF* * ***

_**Thank you **__**Music ADD**__** for another great word!**_

_**Thank you cherrytone!**_

_**Thanks a million boxes of orange Kleenexes! **_


	17. Early Morning Escapade

_**Onward with the read!**_

I woke up feeling safe and warm. It was a feeling I hadn't felt in a long time, but the thing that shocked me the most was that I wasn't alone in my bed. I quickly realized that my back was pressed up against a stone chest. I slowly and as un-disturbingly as possible, turned to see the face of the person whose arms were around me.

It was Edward.

It starred at his God like face, wondering how he got in my bed and why I was nestled in his arms. Then the previous day came back to me. My _mother _came up from phoenix for Mother's Day.

I couldn't deal with what she had said yesterday. She was making it sound like my family was no good, that it was a good thing that they had died. Nothing good came from either of their deaths; it just brought on heartache and pain. Everything she touched was tainted. I had to get away; away from this house and everything that reminded me of them.

I couldn't think of them, because if I did, it would only open up old wounds; wounds that had yet to heal. I buried them away because I didn't know how to mend my broken heart, but mostly, they were wounds that I believed could only be healed by the people that left them. I was doomed to always be brokenhearted, because the ones to make me whole again, the only ones that loved me with all they had, were gone forever and they were never coming back.

I started to move back slowly, lifting Edward's arm from around my waist so I could slip out of bed. I took it slow not wanting to wake him. After I was successfully removed from his grasp, I got out of bed and made my way to the kitchen to make coffee.

I had always hated it when Renee came for a visit and even more when she did it unannounced. Alice always said that I needed to put my foot down and tell her to bug off, but I couldn't do that. It wasn't the way Charlie raised me. He raised me to 'do onto others as you want them to do onto you' he would tell when I was growing up. And no matter how horrible Renee had been to me, I couldn't treat her the way she treated me; it just wasn't right.

Every time I would explain something to her, not even getting mad, I would infinitely feel horrible afterward. Even when it was her fault, causing me to say what I had to say, respectfully as possible, of course, I still felt like I was letting Charlie down somehow.

I was irritated with myself because I let her come in and ruin me. Charlie told me that I didn't owe her anything and that if I wanted a relationship with her that it would be my choice and that he would support me. I didn't want any kind or relationship with her, I didn't know her and as far as I was concerned, she was no mother of mine, but even after I was no longer obligated by law to visit her, I still allowed her to come into my life.

I looked at the clock, realizing I had to go into work today, it was three in the morning. I couldn't go back to bed, I was up and there was none of that happening, but also, he was in there. Sleeping.

He had been there for me last night when I needed someone. I had never asked for help from anyone, though I never had to; they always offered. I never took any of them up on their offers because I didn't want to talk about what happened. Grandpa Henry was gone and dad…well that was my fault and there would be no use in talking about it.

Because of me he was dead and I couldn't bring him back.

I couldn't burden anyone with my problems, especially problems that I created. I couldn't ask them to bear that cross with me. They had all been there for me when my grandfather died and when dad died. How could I ask them to go out of their way again to be with me? They did more than any one person should have to; any family.

They weren't even my family, but they took me in when I couldn't be in that house anymore, when I had no place to go. Esme and Carlisle paid my way through school, while providing the income for me to live in the city so I didn't have to work my way through school. I took an accelerated course, not wanting to free load off of them and as soon as I had a job and was working for a few months, I bought this house. Esme insisted that I stay in the condo they were paying for until I was well settled into my job, but I wouldn't hear of it.

Dad always said that I got my stubborn streak from Henry.

Kevin! Kyle!

If Edward was here with me, where were the boys? Were they with their grandparents or with their aunts and uncles? Wait, what was Edward doing here in the first place? I'm grateful that he was. I would probably have pneumonia if it wasn't for him, but why would he be at my house instead of with his family?

I walked out of the kitchen, with a cup of decaf coffee, and down the hall to one of the spare rooms. The first door was still close and I decide to check the one across the hall from my room. The door was open and the boys were all sprawled out under the covers. I hadn't even noticed the door was open when I came out of my room.

I picked up a candle that was sitting on the burrow and silently walked back to my room. The moon was shinning through the windows, so I could see well enough. I gathered the five candles that he had in the room and bathroom and left closing the door behind me and then moved to crack the boys' door.

There were more candles in the living room, but there was no way I could get those with all of these and a cup of coffee. I went to the kitchen and put away the candles I had then made my way back to the living room.

There were several candles spread out around the room. I picked up the first two I came to and then went for the ones on the coffee table. When I reached down for them there was something there that I was sure was never there before. I sat the candles down, sat down on the couch and picked up the white envelope. There was nothing on the outside, but it felt kind of bumpy. I opened it, turned it upside down, and a gold charm bracelet fell out.

The bracelet was exquisite in itself. I looked at the charms to see that one of them was my name written in pretty cursive letters. On either side of my name was the boys' name.

I began to tear up at what the boys had gotten me.

Edward's name was on the opposite side of the bracelet, directly across from mine, also written in cursive writing. The other charms were a bone, book, paintbrush and a crutch.

A crutch?

Where did they find a crutch charm?

That's cute, real cute! They've got jokes, but I couldn't help but laugh at the irony of it all as more tears began to escape my eyes. I quickly, but carefully, knowing myself, put the bracelet on my wrist. It was a gift I would always cherish and never remove. As I moved my wrist about, examining it again, the charms clanked together making a sound that I found positively entrancing.

I moved to open the card next; it was the paper that I helped the boys make yesterday.

On the outside, it said, _Happy Bella's Day_ in large letters. I flipped the flap up and on the inside, there was a picture that they had drawn on the bottom half. On the left side was what I assume was Kevin, Kyle, Edward and myself in the kitchen and on the right, was all of us standing in front of Edward's house with Goober.

It was the most beautiful picture that I had every seen. I started to cry in spite of myself. Never had I felt anything like this before. I loved those boys like…like they were my own. I felt like they were my own. I would do anything for those boys, I wou-

I began to cry even harder as realization hit me. I had never looked at it that way before. I suddenly knew the reason why he did what he did. He did it because he loved me and even though I know that should make me feel more loved, it only made me feel guiltier for putting him in that position.

It was my entire fault.

"Bella?" I heard Kyle and Kevin's voice call softly, tentatively.

"Kyle, Kevin, what are you to doing awake?" I asked as I hastily wiped away my tears so they wouldn't see.

"Bella, why are you crying?" Kyle asked.

"Oh, no reason. Just being a girl I guess," I replied laughing a little as they climbed onto my lap.

"Bella," Kevin started hesitantly, "do…do you not like our Bella's Day gift? If you don't its okay. We may be able to take it back if you don't want it."

"You will do no such thing," I said sternly, but softly as he looked at me shocked, "I love my bracelet and I'm never going to take it off!"

"Really?" Kyle asked.

"Never. I love you both," I said as I hugged them.

"Well, since we can't sleep would you like to help me in the kitchen?"

"Yeah!" they shouted.

"But first, would you like to take a ride?"

"A ride. Where?"

"On the flying couch, of course," I said remembering I had to move this furniture back to its rightful places.

I moved the couches and chairs around to make it as fun as possible, which wasn't possible, because I wasn't Emmett strong. But instead I would disappear behind them and have the boys gasping in shock every time I would jump out from behind the couch.

We must have played in there for nearly an hour, before going to the kitchen. The whole time, the boys were jumping and crying out in their childish screams, but it didn't seem to bother Edward sleeping one bit.

I checked the room just to make sure he wasn't _not_ joining us on my account, but he appeared to still be fast asleep. I couldn't help but stand there and watch him for a while.

I had always known he was a handsome man, but I never really looked at him all that closely. Yes, he was clearly attractive and I had found myself on the receiving end of said attraction a couple of times, but I never really paid much attention to any of that. But now, looking at him sleeping, I realized just how gorgeous he really was.

Just how much I was really attracted to him.

He was like no man I had ever met before. There was something…familiar about him. Something that I couldn't quite put my finger on that made me think that I…had some sort of…connection with him. Maybe what I was feeling was the workings of a strong bond formulating between…friends.

Yeah, that's it. Friends.

We were _friends!_

I couldn't ogle him any longer because the boys came to get me to see what was taking so long. Despite my minimal increase in mood, I was still a bit… morose-full about the past day's events. Usually when I was feeling this off balance I would bake. I don't think Edward would mind me baking, it wasn't like I would allow the boys to eat sweets this early in the day.

I decided I would make my ice cream supreme.

**EPOV**

I turned over to find myself….cuddling with a pillow. Bella was gone. Where did she go? Why didn't she wake me up if she woke up and needed something? I would always be there for her; I just had to get her to trust me.

I lay in bed for a few minutes wondering what could have happened yesterday to make her go out in that storm like that. What could have upset her so much to the point that she would put herself in that kind of danger?

I wanted to know what happened to her; she was obviously hurting so much. But more so, I wanted to know how I could help her. Whatever happened affected her deeply and there wasn't much I would be able to do for her, no matter the problem, but there had to be _something._ Anything that I could do, say, offer that could make her feel even the least bit better.

I look over at Bella's alarm clock and it read 5:13am. It was much too early to be awake, but how long had Bella been away? She couldn't have gotten much sleep; it was after eleven when I finally got her into bed.

I got up deciding I would check on the boys then see to Bella. I walked across the hall to find the bedroom empty.

Where had they gone to?

Before I could begin to panic, I heard laughter coming from the other end of the house. I slowly made my way until I spotted Bella and the boys in the kitchen…cooking? It was past five in the morning and they were cooking. I wondered what they were cooking, because the smell coming from the kitchen was more than delicious.

I had to hold back my curiosity a little longer, because I want to watch her as she cooked. I loved how she became a different person when she cooked. She was always…cheerful and spontaneous, always having something to say, but she seemed to be holding back. It was as if she was afraid to be herself, maybe when she was around me. But when she cooked, the moment she stepped foot into the kitchen, she became someone entirely different. She was finally one with the universe and nothing could throw her off balance.

She was perfect in every way. The way she smiled, talked, her laughter; her clumsy walk was even sexy. Everything about her was calling to me, but I could never get close enough to answer the call.

"What flavor would you like?" I heard her ask them.

Flavor for what?

"I want chocolate."

"Do you have strawberry?"

"Kyle, we will put chocolate on the right, strawberry on the left for Kevin and caramel in the middle for daddy and me. How does that sound?"

"Yummy!" the boys yelled.

"Oh, we don't want to wake daddy. I'm sure he's very tired."

"Okay," they replied. I figured that now was as good as any to make my appearance. I wanted to stay back and watch her and the boys, but I couldn't bear to be away from her any longer.

"I'm awake," I said casually as I walked into the kitchen.

"Daddy! Look what we are making. It's called spreme."

"Supreme," I corrected.

"I know, but I like spreme better."

"Well if you say so."

"We do," Kyle answered for his brother.

"Good morning, Edward. I hope we didn't wake you. We were just having a bit of early morning fun," Bella said handing me a cup of coffee after adding a little cream and one sugar.

"How did you know how I took my coffee?"

"Saturday, you made coffee before we went out and I noticed how you made yours. I hope you don't mine, but its decaf. When I make it for myself, I make decaf."

"No, that's perfectly fine, thank you," I said taking a sip. It was very hot, but more than that, it was the best coffee I had ever tasted. It was rich with just the right brew and it had a hint of something, some spice in it that gave it just the right…pop for lack of a better word. If I didn't know any better, I'd say it would give Alice and Jasper's friend's coffee a run for her money.

I never met her, but supposedly she made the best coffee and even though I had never had her coffee before, I'd bet against Alice this one time and say this coffee would beat out their friend's coffee. _**(Ha-ha, I had to!)**_

"Wow, this is great coffee, where did you get this?"

"I didn't. It's my own blend. Do you like it?"

"Very much so, thanks."

"Pleasures all mine," she said moving beside me against the counter as she turned back to the boys who were breaking up Oreo Cookies.

"What are you three making?"

"Care to join us?"

"No, I just want to know what you're making. You three seem to be doing fine on your own."

"Well maybe I want some help," she said slyly.

"Really."

"No," she said as I laughed. She was definitely something else.

"Done!"

"Wash your hands," Bella told the boys as they ran to the bathroom, "we are making ice cream supreme and before you ask what that is, because I know you will, it's layers of cookies, cake, nuts, syrup and ice cream and no I am not feeding it to the boys this early."

"I never said you were," I protested taking offense.

"You didn't have to," she said stopping to look at me after cleaning up the boys' cookie mess, "it's written all over your face," she said as she patted my cheek, more like slapped, with her cookie covered hands."

"You think that's funny do you?" I asked as she laughed and I spotted the ice cream on the counter thawing.

I sat my hot cup of coffee down behind me as I dipped my finger into the ice cream. "Don't you dare," Bella demanded as she began to back away and I caught her just before she could dash out the kitchen and smeared it down her face and neck.

"Ahhh! Eddie that's cold!"

"You just called me Eddie, that's a penalty smear," I said as I pulled her with me as I got more ice cream and smeared it all over her face.

But the next thing she did was very much unexpected. Bella grabbed my hand as I retracted it from her ice cream covered face and started to lick my fingers. She started with the pinky finger slowly making her way up my hand.

I froze.

She looked at me the whole time, never breaking eye contact; she slowly, slower than before, if it was possible, inserted my index finger into her mouth, sucking on it, and then, I was met with a face full of flour.

I hadn't even realized that there was flour on the counter behind me. She had completely taken me by surprise, distracted me from what she was really doing. Cheated really.

She was good, I'll give her that.

She tried to hold back her laugh as she finally released my finger and began to slowly back away from me as I crouched down stepping forward. She had a twinkle in her eye and I knew she was about to run. She looked behind me as if looking at something, but I knew there was nothing there. She wanted me to falter so she could make her escape.

When she realized I wasn't going to fall for her little trick, I could see the panic in her eyes. She knew I was going to come after her; I was just waiting for the right moment to pounce. I was a lion and she was my prey. A lamb that couldn't possibly stand up against me.

She turned on her heals and tried to make a dash to safety, but being Bella, she tripped over nothing. I lunged forward to catch her before she hit the floor, but put a little too much force into it.

I wrapped one arm around her; holding her close to my chest; her palms resting against my chest. My other arm shot out a break our fall. Her back hit he floor first as I held her up to me my other hand hit her titled floor taking all the force sending a shooting pain up my arm. There was a slight thump as the rest of our bodies made contact and when Bella's head hit the floor she moaned in pain.

"Bella! Are you alright? How's your head?" I frantically asked after a moment. She opened her eye and looked at me.

"Edward I'm fine but how are you? Your hand?"

"It will be fine. I'm just worried about your head."

"Nonsense," she said reaching back to get my hand. She brought it up to her face to examine the damage. It did hurt a little and was starting to swell, but I couldn't admit to her that I was hurt. She would never let me look at her if I was feeling any pain.

"Edward, you wrist. It starting to turn colors and swelling too. We need to get you to the hospital," she complained as I looked down at her noticing out current position.

She was under me while I lay on top of her cradled in between her legs. I could feel my body wanting to betray me. She was warm and soft and all I wanted to do was be closer to her, as close as humanly possible. Last night I had seen all of her, but I hadn't really paid much attention. Oh, but now, remembering back; her curves, the feel of her body as she pressed herself against me; it was heaven.

_Stop!_ I scolded myself.

"Bella, my wrist and hand are fine; now let me see the back of your head," I said turning my head trying to take my mind off of our position.

"Edward Cullen," Bella said in a stern voice as she turned my head back to face her, "my head will be fine, this is not the first time I have gotten a knot on my head and it won't be the last. You however, if that wrist gets infected and contracts…gangrene or something, you won't have a right hand anymore."

"Bella don't be silly," I said removing her warm hand from my face and holding it, but as soon as it was gone, I felt a strange absence and the tingling feeling was gone from the spot.

"Eddie, I'm not being silly. Stop trying to be so macho and just let me take you to the hospital," she tried to say strongly, but a few giggles escaped her as she tried to wiggle her hand loose from my grasp. And I heard a jingling sound as she did so.

"Bella, I assure you th-" I stopped short as I took notice to what was on her wrist making the sound. It was the charm bracelet the boys' and I had gotten yesterday. She was wearing it.

That had to mean she liked it…right?

"I love the bracelet, thank you," she whispered as I looked down at her. She had a faint smile on her lips as she starred back at me.

I felt a tug at my heart. Something was there pulling at me and I couldn't control my actions. The way she was looking at me was affecting me in a way no woman ever had. I slowly leaned closer to her, never breaking eye contact. Our lips were centimeters apart; I hesitated to prolong the moment. It couldn't be rushed; I had wanted nothing more than to feel her lips against mine from the first moment I met her.

She was a spit fire and even though she sometimes burned me, I would never turn away from her. She was my sun and if getting a little burned is what it took to be in love with her, and then I would gladly and willingly burn myself to be with her.

I starred her in the eyes and when I couldn't take it any longer, I move to close the small gap between us. Just as I was about to press my lips to hers,

"We're done washing our hands!"

*** * RMF* * ***

_**Thank you cherrytone! You are wonderful!**_

_**Thanks a million orange SHARPENED butter knives! **__(inside joke…you know who you are) _


	18. The Office

_**Onward with the read!**_

"Bella this was really unnecessary," Edward said to me through the phone.

"Oh, just like you not needing to go to the hospital and now you have a sprained wrist," I commented and he stayed quiet. "that's what I thought. There is nothing wrong with taking a taxi. You don't need to be driving and don't think I won't milk the boys for information. They like me better and they will tell me."

"Don't I know it," he said slowly, "Bella," he hesitated, "about last night, are yo-"

"Edward, I'd hate to cut you off, but I'm at my building. I have to go, I'll call you later to check up, okay, bye," I said and hung up the phone.

Truth was, I had been at my office for about fifteen minutes; his house was closer to my building downtown then mine was. I knew he was going to want to know about what happened last night. He hadn't asked me this morning, mostly because we ended up at the hospital for the better part of it.

After the boys came back into the kitchen before we, well I'm not even sure before what, but I ended up driving him to the hospital and then home a couple hours later. He insisted he was fine, but when his wrist started swelling and turning a dark red, I just stopped arguing with him about it. He said he could drive to his father's and have him look at it, but there was no way I was letting that happen.

Last night was something that I just didn't want to talk about. I didn't even want to think about it and I wished he hadn't seen me that way. Thanks to him, I'm safe and not sick, but having him see me in that condition raised many questions that I just couldn't answer; wouldn't answer.

Emmett was the only other person who had truly seen me break down like that after everything was over. I never talked about it, I just ignored it all together, but there were those rare moments when I couldn't keep the ache in my heart from resurfacing. He just happened to be there when it happened and I let it.

Emmett was the only one who never treat me differently. I knew he was worried about me, but he would at least try and act like he didn't notice anything was wrong. Alice was always too protective of my feeling and wanted to talk or opted for shopping therapy. Jasper could always calm me with just his presence, but I couldn't be around him because he always seemed to know how I was feeling and sometimes, I couldn't control myself around him. I don't know if it had anything to do with his field of study, but when he was around I would always _want_ to spill my guts to him.

He would of course tell Alice what I said and she would want to talk and I couldn't have that. Esme and Carlisle had done too much for me and if they knew how much I was still affected by what had happened, they would insist on moving to be near me or take care of my finances or something like that to keep me sane.

"Bella, I heard you were at the hospital. Are you Okay?"

"Do I look okay?" I asked annoyed.

"Well, in that case, cou-"

"I've been here thirty minutes and you already have a problem," I commented. I continued just as he was about to speak, "I'm not here to help you do your job. I have a meeting and I don't have time for this." With that I got up and left the office I so rarely used anymore and went to Angela's. I knew if I stayed there, he would keep talking.

Johnson just never learned.

"Hey, Bella."

"Michael."

"So I haven't seen you in a while," he said following me to Angela's office.

"That's because I work from home. You know that."

"Right, right. So," he started, scratching his head, "what are you doing this weekend?"

"I have a date."

"A d-date! With who?"

"I don't believe that's any of your business, Michael," I said stopping outside of Angela's office, "I have to go, so if you'll excuse me." I opened her door and closed it on him without another word.

I leaned back against her door and closed my eyes. I hate the office.

"Mike again?" I nodded.

"He had the nerve to ask me who I was going on a date with. As if knowing would make any difference. He was still going to get a no just like every other time he asked."

"Wait. What date? You told me of no date on Saturday."

"With Kevin and Kyle. My two favorite snacks and I have a date Friday."

"So what are you doing?" Angela asked looking up from her computer.

"I don't know yet. It depends on what Edward's wrist looks like. I don't want to do too much because he has to work next week and his wrist needs to heal. I feel bad about it because it was my fault, but at least he doesn't have to practice."

"No practice?"

"He knows the piece by heart. He's a very accomplished pianist."

"So it seems," Ang said with a smirk.

"What's that supp-" I was cut off by a knocking on the door.

"Come in."

"Hello, Angela.

"Mr. Guttenberg."

"Bella, I thought I'd find you in here, I'm ready for you," Mr. Guttenberg said. I said goodbye to Angela and followed my Mr. G to his office. We didn't go to his office like I had expected, but instead to the conference room.

I was surprised when I walked in to find half the companies board in there and a very smug looking Johnson. This didn't sit to well with me. Why would Johnson be hear and happy looking at that. There was no way I was getting fired while he got a promotion. And the board, the top board members of the company never met unless it was important.

"Bella, please have a seat,' Mr. Dourdan said as we entered, "there's no need to be nervous, Bella." I sat down and Johnson snickered.

"Now that everyone is present, let get down to business," Mr. Hardaway commanded. "Our head of Human Resources, Mrs. Cheney, has brought to our attention that there have been some discrepancy problems in the manuscripts that we are getting back from the editors. There is paper work missing and many of the required works are not being handled correctly. We have done an investigation and the conclusion is that one of our Executive Editors in not doing their job."

"We have been losing money because our writers are pulling out and going to other firms because of the treatment they are getting here. Required works are not being shipped out on time, documentation is not being made and several of the major manuscripts have been published under different authors' names. We are be-"

"What do you mean, other authors' names?" I asked cutting in. I didn't understand what he was talking about or how this had anything to do with me.

"Someone has been taking the manuscripts and selling the copies to other authors or editorial companies and losing the paper work. So basically, writers have been paying us to edit, market, publish and distribute their books, but another writer ends up with their book and publishes it before we can," he said sighing heavily. Mr. Hardaway was a pleasant man and it took a lot to get to him, but right now, he didn't look very happy.

"We are being sued because we published a book that was already published by someone else," he said curtly. How could this have happened? This _is_ something that could happen, but we are always so careful with how we do business.

"Mr. Johnson, as of now, you are terminated from your contract with New Moon Publishing and charged with heresy." Was he serious, heresy? Who charges people with heresy anymore?

"Jesus will take you to your office and escort you off the premises. Our lawyers will be in contact."

"You can't do this. I have a contract."

"Which you were released from the moment you broke it," Mrs. Anderson commented angrily.

"You can't do this. You have no proof."

"Quite the contrary, Mr. Johnson," Mr. Guttenberg said tossing a rather large file across the table, "we have more than enough proof to not only release you from your contract, but to prosecute you to the fullest." Johnson stood, pale faced and staggered out the room with Jesus following closely behind.

"Ms. Swan," Mrs. Anderson called and I turned back as my heartbeat started to quicken, "we have also released Mr. Tumblin from his contract as well. He was not involved in the doings of Mr. Johnson, but he is not doing the job he was appointed to do, which is where you come in."

"Am I being fired?" I asked as I tried to keep the tears at bay. They said I could work from home and come in when I was needed for meetings. I always had my revisions in on time or early. I hadn't realized that I was not meeting their expectations. If someone would have told me, I would have changed something. Done better, but now there is no chance of that; I was being fired.

Mr. Guttenberg started laughing, "No, Bella, we want to promote you."

"Pro-promote me? But I was just promoted."

"Bella, it's been quite a while since we made you Executive Editor," he said chuckling, "We would like you to take Damien's positions as Executive Director of the department."

"I-I don't know what to say," I stuttered out. This was the last thing I was expecting. Mr. G was over every one on my floor. I was currently one step down from him, physically keeping track of about twenty other people, but to be in his position was big.

"There is no need to have an answer now Bella. There would be training, but first we have to find someone to replace the other two positions before you could formally take Damien's position. We will need you to train the newly appointed Executive Editors and you will have to come back into the office at least twice a week. Will you be able to handle that? Of course you will be getting a raise until things settle down around here."

"Okay," was all I could say.

*** * *RMF* * ***

_**Thanks cherrytone!**_

_**Thanks a million orange tap dancing shoes!**_


	19. What am I so afraid of?

_**Onward with the read!**_

_16 May 2008_

_Knock. Knock. Knock._

Martha stuck her head in the door, "Bella, Mr. Dourdan wants to know if you have finished the paper work for the Paulson file."

"Paulson file, Paulson file, Paulson," I chanted quietly to myself as I looked around my messy desk. Everything was a complete mess and I wasn't talking about my office, though it was looking post tornado season. I was only supposed to be in the office twice a week to do training for the new Executive Editor, but they hadn't hired any yet, from in house or outside the company and I have been here everyday this week.

I had to deal with all these files for each of the books that my floor was responsible for and reroute them until we had a doable amount of books on our plates. Because of what Johnson did, the firm is beyond being knee deep in legal hassles which is a hassle for me.

"Martha," I said looking up at her from under my glasses, "if he is looking for the file I think he's looking for, it's not ready yet. He just gave it to me this morning. There's no way he should be expecting it back from me until next week."

"So what would you like me to tell, Mr. Dourdan?" she asked raising an eyebrow.

Martha was in her seventies, but don't let her age fool you; she could roll with the punches. She had been here ever since the company opened up and help the former President and CEO get the company to where it is today. Despite his efforts, Martha never wanted to be anything other than a secretary.

She is now secretary to Mr. Dourdan, the son of the founder and former president and CEO, but he was _nice _enough to allow me the privilege of her services since I no longer had one.

The secretary that myself and the other three, previous, Executive Editors shared, was also fired because she was said to be linked with Johnson.

"You can tell him exactly what I said verbatim." Martha laughed at me. She may have been someone else's secretary, but we knew each other well.

I continued doing what I was doing. I never minded editing, but senseless paper work was a pain. And if it wasn't the paper work irritating me, it was Mike. He must have come in my office every hour on the hour trying to find out what I was doing. And each time I would tell him the same thing, but obviously the boy was missing a few screws, because he couldn't see that it was the same answer every time.

I don't know how he was getting any work done if he was in my office every hour and calling every fifteen minutes with no reason at all. I finally told him if he came to my office or called me again, and _I_ didn't feel like the reason was work related, he was fired. At first he didn't believe me, thinking I was joking, but when I just looked at him expressionless, he got the point.

I even got a call from Angela twenty minutes later confirming that he had asked her if I had the authority to do it now. Truth was I had the authority to do it before.

_Knock. Knock._

"Bella, he said that he needs you to get it done, because it's a priority account."

"Well then, Martha, you can tell him I said it's," I paused to look at the time in the bottom of my computer screen, "5:48 and I'm going home. It is not _my_ job to fix the mess of _his_ former employees. I have been working no less then ten hour days and if he wanted that file first, it should have been the one he gave me to complete first. He cannot expect to give me something and believe that I am going to have two days worth of work done in two hours on top of the other six he threw at me this morning first and yes you can tell him, that too, verbatim," I said packing up my things.

I knew I could be fired for what I just said, but I didn't care. I wasn't going to let him walk all over me and fall into the at "working for the man" stick. He would either respect be for standing my ground or he'd fire me and find someone he could control. Either way, I would do my part and more, but he was not going to force upon me unrealistic demands.

"Let him know I will leave the file with Janet and I'll been in on the 20th if he has any further questions." Martha smirked as she walked out silently. She would tell him exactly what it said.

I was tired and cranky and not in the mood to deal with that man and his ever changing moods. I swear, he was worse than a pregnant woman in labor who still had her cycle during the entire pregnancy and that was saying a lot.

I bit my tongue all week and now I was to the point that I just didn't care. He was one of those men that give men a bad name. The ones that think women are supposed to be in a certain place and that he could speak to any kind of way. Well, he picked the wrong woman to play the sexist, macho, egotistical, pigheaded act on.

After I left Janet's office, giving her instructions on what to do and what was priority, I made my way to the elevators. I pressed the down button and waited only a short moment until the bell dinged and the door opened.

When the door opened, Mr. Dourdan and Martha were on it talking waiting to get off on my floor. He looked stunned when he saw me standing there. I said nothing to him and waited for them to step off; as was Martha. But when he didn't make a move to step out of the elevator, I stepped in and hit the 'P' button to take me to parking.

I guess Martha had relayed my message and he was too dumbstruck to move.

Martha simply smirked. She adored his father, but the son was a wholly different topic.

He was sexist and every woman in the office knew it. He appeared to be a nice guy, but every once in a while, he would let his true colors show. I guess he expected me not to know about that since I rarely came into the office, but I he had another thing coming. When the elevator made it to parking, I stepped off and said my goodbyes to Martha and headed to my truck.

I had no patience for people who thought they were better than others.

As I neared my house I saw the familiar Volvo sitting in my driveway. I pulled in beside it and saw that Edward was sitting on my porch swing reading a book and the boys were playing cars or something on the floor boards.

Edwards's eyes immediately lit up and a crooked smile graced his luscious lips when we made eye contact through the car. The boys stood up quickly and made their way to me.

Edward must have told them to walk, because they started exaggerating their movements as if they were caught in quick sand.

I could only laugh at them as they fell because of their silliness. I hopped out of the truck much too quickly, nearly falling, and hurriedly made my way to them. As I approached, they jumped up and started running to me. I dropped my bags in the lawn and consumed them in the biggest hug I could muster.

"Snack time!"

"Daddy, Bella is going to eat us!" Kyle cried as he tried to get away. I crouched down and stalked after him.

"I'm coming to get you," I spoke in an evil shrieking voice as the boys ran around the yard. "Little boy soup would be so nice," I said rubbing my hands together.

Kevin and Kyle were hiding behind my car, looking around the tail end of it. They didn't see me as I snuck up on them from the front side.

"Gotcha!"

"Ahhh! Help me; the evil witch is going to make soup out of me!" Kevin cried out as Kyle bolted for the hills.

"Daddy, daddy, Witch Bella's got Kev!"

"Who you calling a witch? You want to be little boy pie, do ya, huh?" I asked stalking toward him as he screamed behind Edwards legs. He kept laughing and screaming as I shifted Kevin to the other arm as he dangled upside sown.

"Bella, don't eat me, PLEASE!"

"Bella, who's that?" I said as I brought my face to his neck and blow on it making him scream out in boyish giggles.

"Ticklish are you?"

"I mustn't allow you to terrorize my minions any longer," Edward roared out as he pretended to draw a sword form him belt.

"And just what do you think you're going to do about it, pretty boy? Your weapons have no power against me."

"I warn you once, release him!" I cracked up.

"What was the, 'I warn you' with what, your air sword?" I said cracking up. Kevin continued to squirm and I tickled him in the belly.

"Come on, at least act scared," he said with the sexiest look I had ever seen on a man. When all I did was look at him, he cocked his head to the side, palms up to the sky and shrugged his shoulders as if to say, 'come on.' It just made me laugh even harder that I had to release Kevin.

Edward looked at me incredulously, and then got an evil glint in his eyes.

I sobered quickly and said, "Eddie don't you dare," then immediately covered my mouth realizing my mistake.

"That's going to cost you," he said moving slowly toward me. No matter how quickly I moved away from him, he seemed to always be getting closer, never increasing his speed. I suddenly felt like I was in one of those horror movies. The ax murderer was always ten feet behind, walking, no matter how quickly you _ran._

"Edward, your wrist, it's not healed," I pleaded. He twisted his hand around in one direction and then the other way.

"Healed," he replied simply still approaching.

"Boys, help me…please." They laughed. Laughed! I would have something for them later.

Out of no where, Edward pounced and he grabbed me before I even had time to react. He lifted me over his head from behind, my back resting on his shoulder as he ran with me.

"Looks like I got you."

"Edward, Ahhh, put…me…Ahhh…DOWN!" I shouted laughing.

"Not until you apologize."

"For?" I asked incredulously. He just smirked.

"Oh, for heaven sakes, please tell me you are not the type," I stated appalled as he flipped me making it so my stomach was on his shoulder as he carried me around.

"You made me look bad. What will the children think?"

"Oh, well I'm sorry then, Mr. Cry Baby The Boys Won't Think I'm Macho Now," I snickered.

"You think you're funny don't you? Fine," he said starting to tickle me. I started screaming and squirming in his arms. Edward started loosing his balance and we went tumbling to the ground with me on top.

"Oomph. Are you trying to kill me, woman?"

"Well when you have the soup and it looks a little…thick, then you should worry," I said leaning back to look at him; my hair flowed around my face, shielding us from the outside world. Edward looked up at me, a smile adorning his lips as he tucked my hair behind my ear.

I don't know how it happened next, but I was no longer hovering over Edward and my chest was pressed against his as my hands rested on his shoulders. Edward had one hand in my hair and the other was caressing my check. The feeling was strange; I couldn't explain it, but I know I had never felt anything like it before.

It was soothing and warm. When I was with him, I felt alive and safe; a way I have never felt before. Something about Edward awoke something in me; something primal and powerful. Sensual and daring. Rough and tender. Unhurried yet rapidly picking up speed. There were so many things going through me that I didn't know how to explain it.

Could this be what Alice had been trying to tell me about all along?

NO! Edward and I were only friends! W-we-we couldn't be more, wouldn't. I wouldn't be more. I couldn't, wouldn't allow anything to start no matter how wonderfully delicious he is.

Stop this, Bella! It's just…physical…attraction.

No matter how much I pleaded with myself, I was unintentionally being pulled toward him.

"Bella," he breathed.

"Daddy!"

"Bella!" the boys called as they ran into us, knocking me into the mud.

"It's raining."

"Yes, we should get inside," I said lifting a bouncing Kevin up with me as Edward got Kyle, my bags, and ran to the porch for cover.

"We're all muddy."

"Do you have any clothes for the boys? We can give them a bath," I said opening the door for them.

"Yes, I do, I'll go get them." Edward ran back out into the rain and was back almost immediately.

Edward and I gave the boys a bath in my bathroom. I had bought some toys for them earlier this week when he asked if I could keep the boys while he went to work. I told him I would and bought some things for them to play with in the bath.

Edward and I sat on the floor talking while the boys played for thirty minutes with cars and boats, occasionally splashing water which always started a water war. When they were done, they dressed and I put on the movie _Aladdin_ for them to watch in the living room.

"I don't have anything to change into. Can I put these in your wash?" Edward asked as I came back into the room after setting the movie up.

"Yes, but I have extra clothes you can wear in the bottom drawer."

"Oh, I have the clothes you lent me last week, I'll get those." He started to walk away, but I grabbed his arm and felt a shock.

"Um," I stuttered out, my mind muddled after the shock, "you don't have to go back out into the rain; I'll just get you some more."

"So whose clothes are those?"

"An old friend's."

"Old boyfriend?" I snorted. Was he joking? Edward just looked at me funny.

"No, really just a friend. When I had sleepovers with my best friend, at my house, I would force him to come along so I didn't have to endure Murder Makeovers. Even though I have about two years on him, at fifteen, he practically looked like a boyishly handsome grown man standing about a foot taller than me." Edward laughed.

"You probably wouldn't get along with my younger sister. She loves to shop and do makeovers. She used to try and dress me up when I was home, which was part of the reason I didn't come home as often as I should have. I felt bad about it years later because my mother missed me and she was going through a lot with a friend's child and I should have been there. I was away at school, but I could have come home more often than I did," Edward said solemnly.

"Edward," I said softly, placing a comforting hand on his side, "do you see you mother as often as you can now?" He nodded. "Does she love you and you her?" He nodded again. "Then stop beating yourself up about what happened ten or however many year ago. She loves you and the most important thing is she knows that you love her. Okay?"

"Yeah, I guess your right."

"Guess?" He scowled.

"Fine, fine, Eddiekins," I said smacking his cheek lightly walking into my bathroom.

"You'll pay for that Ms. Swan, mark my words, you'll pay."

"What, with that air sword again? Why don't we talk about this after you don't look like Swamp Thing's grandson anymore, kay?" Edward scowled again, but left to shower nonetheless and as did I.

After I showered I went to see what the boys were up to and I saw that Edward was already there watching the movie with the boys.

"You hungry."

"Yes!" the boys shouted not turning around from the movie.

I walked into the kitchen softly singing the music that was coming from the movie. I loaded the dishwasher with the dirty dishes I hadn't had time to do this week before I went to the fridge.

"You have a lovely voice," Edward commented as I gasped and turned around.

"Keep that up, Eddiekins and I'll be scrubbing the decks with the likes of you," I said trying to regain my heart rate.

"I'll believe it when I see it," he said with a smirk and I turned back to the fridge fuming.

I'd have the last laugh!

"Sorry I was late. Work was brutal."

"Making any leeway with the problems?" Edward asked knowing what was going on. I had been speaking to him on my drives home because sometimes I didn't leave the office until after nine and I hated night driving.

"Hardly any, really. Just file after file and it never seems to end. Can you open up that drawer and pull out that box on top?"

"What's this?"

"Open it and take one."

Edward opened the box and looked in it for a moment before looking up at me, "what's this?"

"Keys. I always seem to loose keys, but never the key chain, so the monkey on my back decided to have one hundred of them made for my birthday last year."

"Monkey? One hundred keys, was that really necessary and what does this have to do with me?"

"My big brother of sorts and yes, it was necessary. It hasn't been a year and I only have…hmmm…well I can't remember, but it's less than fifty. I never loss things, but keys," I shook my head, "those slippery little suckers always get away from me. And take a key for yourself. I meant to give it to you earlier, but I didn't trust myself not to lose yours and mine." All he said was, 'oh' as he took a key set and placed the box back in the drawer.

"Kevin! Kyle! Dinner!" I said and the boys were at the table in no time.

"What's for dinner?" Kyle asked.

"Soup!" I said cheerfully as I finished stirring the soup I was heating on the stove. I had made it a couple days ago, but was too tired to eat any when I got home from work.

"I love soup." Kevin beamed bouncing beside his brother at the table.

"Are you serious?" Edward asked incredulously scared.

Guess I got that last laugh!

As we ate, we had the best time just talking and playing. The boys were having the most animated conversation with Edward and me as they argued their point. Kevin was convinced that we should sue the Skittles Company for false advertisement. Apparently they had learned a lot after watching 20/20 with Edward one night and decided we should sue, because no one could actually taste the colors of the rainbow and it was wrong of them to tease.

The things that came out of their mouths amazed me sometimes…all the time. They were so smart that I wouldn't be surprised if they were put in the gifted program. They were so intuitive and it didn't take much for them to grasp things. Edward…and I would surely have to keep an eye on them in their later years.

"Bella lets watch the movie again, now."

"Oh, no. I don't want to," I whined.

"Please, please, please, please!" they both begged.

"Well, if that's _really _what y-"

"IT IS!" they cried and I laughed. I got up from the table with Edward and the boys. They ran ahead of us as we took our time.

After the movie started I decided we needed popcorn and went to make some. While the corn was popping I finished loading the dishwasher and set it. I grabbed a bowl and poured the hot popcorn into it and made my way to the living room stepping over Goober who hadn't moved since we came in.

I must have stepped the wrong way or something because before I knew it, the floor was slowly getting closer to my face. I yelped a little at the shock of falling and braced myself for the fall. Popcorn went everywhere and my head hit the side of the table just as I heard Edward.

"BELLA!"

He jumped over the couch, but I couldn't focus; something wet was on my face. I touched my head and saw the red liquid on my fingers then I smelt it.

Blood!

I only heard Edward and the boys call my name once more before everything went black.

**Edward POV**

Bella had gone to get popcorn that she insisted we had to have while watching a movie. Even though she hated shopping and makeovers, I couldn't help but think that she and my sister would get along. I really wanted her to meet my family and it was slowly killing me not having told them about her.

I heard Bella coming back and grumbling something about having a lazy dog and then I heard her scream.

"BELLA!" I yelled to her as I jumped over the couch in one swift movement. She was bleeding from her head and all I wanted to do was kick myself for not being able to catch her.

"Bella!" the boys yelled as they got off the couch and saw her bleeding.

I saw Bella's eyes start to roll to the back of her head at the sight of the blood, "Bella!" I shouted as I knelt down beside her, but it was too late, she had already blacked out.

I lifted her and cradled her in my arms as I got up and slowly walked, so not to disturb her, to place her on the couch.

"Boys, look in the closet in the hallway and get a towel. Wet it with cold water and squeeze real tight and bring it back."

"Daddy, is Bella going to wake up?" Kevin said as he and his brother cried softly.

"Oh, boys," I said hugging them tightly, "Bella will be fine and she will wake up soon. She just had a bad bump that made her sleep for a while."

"Okay," Kyle said unsure as they left to get a cold towel.

I couldn't believe this. We were doing so well up until this point.

I sat there, holding the cold towel to her head as I reflected on the past week. Bella and I had become so close over the last several days. She was still holding back, but I could sense a change in her mood around me. She was talking to me on a daily basis and confiding in me for things.

Bella was almost deadly afraid of driving at night, but instead of calling her friends like she used to, she called me every night this week as she drove home and told me about her day.

After last weekend, after the storm, I had almost kissed Bella and I thought I had ruined everything. Rushed her too quickly after the night she had. She was apprehensive about talking about the night of the storm, so I decided not to say anything about it until she did, but she came to me with other things.

And today, _she _nearly kissed _me_, before the boys interrupted again. Now she was giving me a key; I could only hope she could see what was going on between us. I could tell she was fighting to let me past her innermost wall, but she was letting me in and that's what mattered. I just couldn't tell if she saw me as a friend or not.

Emmett once told me something that I thought was utterly ridiculous, but now I wasn't so sure.

When I hadn't dated in nearly a year, Emmett told me that I was forever doomed to be in the 'friend's zone' with whatever woman I would meet because I had been 'out of season' too long, 'benched' he said. I thought he was nuts with all the sports analogies, but now, I really think he had a point. Bella and I were obviously good…great friends now, but could we be more?

I looked at the boys, who had cried themselves to sleep and decided that no matter what we became or didn't become, that Bella would always be in our lives. The boys needed her, loved her. I needed her, loved her.

I felt movement next to me and turned back to Bella as she started to groan.

"Bella, are you alright?" I asked removing the towel and smoothing out her hair for the millionth time.

**Bella's POV**

I tried to sit up some, but felt a little woozy. Edward cradled me to his chest as I began to lean off the couch. I couldn't help but to think Edward felt like home and I was at peace. He was here for me, again. He never left me.

I wrapped my arms around him and breathed in his scent. It was a wonderful scent, one that relaxed my mind and muscles instantaneously.

As I sat there, cradled in his arms as he whispered reassurances to me and rubbed my back, I knew nothing would ever be the same... Edward wasn't only my friend, he was more. I had been so afraid of letting him in that I didn't realize that he barged his way in without me even knowing it.

I hadn't planned on being this involved in his life and I scolded myself for attaching myself to another family that wasn't mine. I would hurt them and that was something that I couldn't deal with. I was in too deep now to just turn my back. I couldn't just walk out of their lives and never look back.

I couldn't help but to think of an old song; a song that said it all. I had the tune in my head for days, but I couldn't get the words until now and they scared me.

_I think I love you, so what am I so afraid of?_

*** * *RMF* * ***

_**Thanks cherrytone!**_

_**Thanks a million race cars on an orange track! **_


	20. Surprises

_**(I tip-toe around in the dark, they think I stole twilight, but I didn't)**_

_**Onward with the read!**_

_8 June_

It's been three weeks since I discovered that I had fallen in love with Edward. To say it shocked the hell out of me was the understatement off the year. I was more than pissed with this…occurrence is what I'll call it. I had been in a less than pleasant mood for a few days after the shock wore off and I came back into the real world.

A world where the peasant girl didn't get the prince.

I still saw or at least spoke to the boys on a regular basis, and spoke to Edward everyday on my way home, but I wasn't as open as I had been. I could tell that he noticed the change, but I tried to act as normal as possible, but still kept my heart out of it. There was no way I could go through that kind off hurt again or bestow it onto someone else.

I felt like Alice cursed me with her words when she told me that when I met the right guy, I wouldn't want to let him go. I longed to be near him and the boys when I was away from them. Everything about my men was calling to me. My ears longed to hear the boys laugh or that velvet voice that could sooth me with one word.

My heart ached every time I couldn't see them, or just be with them, so much that I once thought I was going into cardiac arrest. It seemed a little farfetched or dramatic, but the heart wants what it wants and when it doesn't get its way, it lets you know. I was such a wreck that even Emmett with his I see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil, on my behalf, had to say something.

'_Bella, I know you love being with me more than anyone else most days, because I my devilish good looks, but it's also because I don't bug you about certain things. But I'm worried about you. You have been changing, but lately you seem very angry about something or depressed.'_

'_Emmy, I know you worry and you leave me to my peace, but really, I'm fine.'_

'_You know I love you little sis and you can come to me with anything,' Emmett said as he took the biggest bite of his burger._

'_Emmett, that's gross. Esme taught you better than that.'_

'_Well, moms not around, so what she doesn't know won't get me put over her knee.'_

'_Yeah, until I tell her that is,' I snickered._

'_You wouldn't?'_

'_Hmmm…I wonder how much it would take to get the owner to give me a copy of the last five minutes from that security camera behind me,' I pondered out loud as Emmett looked over my shoulder._

'_Bella, you are so dead!'_

Emmett knew I wouldn't willingly talk about what was bothering me, but he never pressured me and always knew just what to do to cheer me up. He was my saving grace most days with his ability to just light up a room and make an awkward situation even more awkward, but to the point where you had no choice but to laugh and lighten things.

It was a gift.

And right now, my skin is crawling because I want to hold those boys and be in Edwards arms again. He was warm and strong and when I was with him, I felt like nothing could touch me. My pores were alight with fire and tingling with every brush of his hands, when he touched me…goodness the feelings I would get running through my body.

I needed him. I wanted him. I loved him.

I hated myself for getting in this position. Nothing good could come from it. History always repeats itself and the same thing that happened before will indubitably happen again in some way, shape or form.

I felt like I was in the _Final Destination_ or _Butterfly Effect _movies. No matter how many times I tried to repair the damage or find away around the issue, it always circled around. No matter how hard I tried to remove others from my mess, I still seemed to bring along three very unsuspecting passengers for a ride down my own personal Hells Lane.

I decided to stop stalling; I was going to have to go over there sometime. I had seen as much of the boys as I could, but I mostly just talked to them on the phone throughout the day. I hadn't been able to make our play date last weekend, today was Sunday and there wasn't a force in this world that would stop me from going.

I arrived at Edward's house twenty minutes after I stopped procrastinating and stepped out anxious to see him. I rested my back against my car trying to regain control of my heart. It had only been two weeks since I'd seen them, even though I spoke to them everyday, but it felt like I was away for two years and not weeks.

"Do you mind telling me what you're doing?" Edward asked scaring me. He was leaning against my truck with his arms crossed looking at me.

I didn't even hear him.

"Um, thinking?" I replied like it was a question.

"So are you not sure or are you asking me what you were doing, because if it was the second, I don't read minds you know," he said smirking.

He sure picked a fine time to harness my sarcastic essence.

I turned and walked away form him without a reply. I couldn't look at him right then. He had changed so much from the man I met in the food court and I was afraid he'd see how much I loved him.

"Hey, where are the boys?" I asked walking into the house noticing they hadn't come to see me.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot to call you. My mom picked them up last night and they're staying with her."

Well, I said nothing could keep me away, I never said they had to be here.

"Okay, that's fine, I don't mind. I can always catch up on some work," I said sadly. I didn't want it to show how much I wanted to be with them, but I couldn't help it.

"Actually, if you don't have much to work on, would you like to stay for dinner? If you want to that is, don't feel obligated to do so."

"I never feel obligated to do anything I don't want to do, so I'll stay," I said slyly.

"Are you sure? I don't want to kee-"

"Edward it's fine, really. I'm not working for the next few days and it's a little too early for me to start anyway."

"If you're sure," he stated hesitantly.

"If I wasn't, would you kick me out and make me go home?"

"Of course not!"

"So, what's for dinner?"

"I haven't cooked anything yet. So lets g-"

"Good, I'll cook."

"You don't have to do that." I shook my head and waved a hand dismissively.

"Its fine, I actually like to cook. You didn't forget that did you?"

"I know you can cook, but I didn't know that you actually enjoyed doing it so much. But, if you say so, just nothing too hard okay?"

"How about…spaghetti and meatballs? It's simple, quick and good," I said as I checked the fridge and Edward went to the cabinet.

"What's that?" I asked turning around.

"Ragu."

"Ragu?"

"Yes, it's spaghetti sauce."

"Oh, no you don't. Didn't anybody ever tell you that you don't eat from the middle of the store?"

"Why?" I ignored him.

"Do you have any tomatoes? Tomato sauce? Herbs? Vegetable stock"

"Huh?" gosh, he knew nothing. I could see this would be a long night.

"Okay big boy, off to the grocery store you go. It's time for a lesson in Parenting 110: Healthy Cooking."

I took Edward to the store and showed him the ends and outs of food and cooking. At one point I thought I saw his eyes glaze over from all the information, but he seemed to really be trying to listen to what I had to say.

He asked questions like a good little student, but some of his questions had me laughing so hard I was in tears. A couple people looked at me crazy and a few thought that Edward had done something to me.

'_Men like you give the rest of us a bad name,' a man said as he held on tighter to his wife. I could only turn into Edward's chest to keep from falling._

'_And she's even scared not to be with you. PIG!' his wife shouted._

'_What did I do?' I tried to speak but it only came out sounding like a snort. _

_I tried to turn away from him when he started rubbing my back and roll the carriage._

'_Bella, you can't just leave me,' Edward shouted as I quickly walked away to produce._

_Wrong thing to shout. _

'_Shame on you for treating your precious wife that way,' an old woman commented, 'I saw how you were treating her back there.'_

'_Precious wife? You must be mi-'_

'_If you don't think her precious, you don't deserve her.'_

'_But she's-'_

'_Shut up boy! Don't talk back to your elders!' she said cutting him off again and hitting him with the biggest bag I had ever seen._

_I just stood there in shock as Edward, a strong, strapping young man, shielded himself from this little old lady._

'_But she's not my-'_

'_Everything? Huh, son, is that what you were about to say? That's what's wrong with your generation, no respect,' the lady's husband said poking him in the side._

_I finally lost it. I fell to my knees laughing hysterically. I probably could have held myself up, but that was just too much work. The old woman, I guess at the sight of me on the floor, started beating Edward to a pulp with her humungous bag telling him how he needed to treat me right._

"Bella, you really could have helped me in there," Edward complained after he was done sulking.

"Oh, you big baby. Worried that you'll never live down how you got beat up by an old lady and her even feebler husband?" I asked snickering as we walked into the kitchen.

"I think they were senile. It was obvious I wasn't hurting you."

Bella snickered.

"I don't want to talk about it anymore," Edward pouted.

"Make the meat balls," I said starting the sauce.

"Bella, you said easy. There is nothing easy about this meal."

"Well, we women have a superior ability to d-"

"Don't finish that," Edward said as one hand slid around my back and the other over my mouth. I stared into his eyes and he slowly removed his hand from my mouth and down resting on the back of my neck.

It was going to happen this time, he was going to kiss me and there was no one to interrupt. Did I want another interruption? Did I want to kiss him? I didn't know what I wanted as I stared in his eyes, his magical hand sent chills up and down my spine as he ran his hand up my side.

Edward never broke eye contact with me he leaned in. He was moving so slow I thought I would die. He would move a little then search my face. Like he was looking for something or trying to memorize it. Just when our lips were mere centimeters apart, the sauce popped and burned us.

"Ahhh! That's hot," I said releasing the breath I was holding.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, fine. Just a minor first degree burn."

"You know burns too? You're just a little bundle of knowledge aren't you?"

"You have to be up to date on those types of things when you're as accident prone as I am," I replied turning back to the stove putting the noodles in the pot of boiling water.

We eventually finished the spaghetti and sat down to eat, Edward did a good job too. His meatballs were very tasty and he was a little beside himself about that. We had good conversation as always and after we washed the dishes, we decided to watch a movie.

Not long after the movies started, I was asleep. I could still hear the movie playing in the background, but I couldn't really make out what was being said. I was so comfortable being in Edward's arms even though it was strangle to feel so at home with him.

I was never worried about what he would do to me, but what I would do to him. I could tear his world apart and turn it upside down. I'd do anything to keep that from happening, but I couldn't make guarantees on that.

I was suddenly very thirsty and I couldn't prolong it any longer. It was something that always happened a couple hours after I drank wine. I would always crave water like there was no tomorrow.

I slowly pushed myself up and out of Edward's arms.

"Is something wrong? Are you leaving?" he asked a little sad for some reason.

"No, I'm just thirsty. I always want water after I have wine."

"I'll get it for you."

"No, you stay here, I'll get it. I need to stand anyway," I said getting completely up and going into the kitchen.

I grabbed a glass from the cabinet, pushed it into the fridge door, and waited until it filled up. After it was full, I put the glass rim to my lips and drank. My throat was so dry and the cold water was just what I needed. I turned around still drinking, to see Edward leaning against the wall watching me.

"What?" I asked pausing from my drinking.

"Nothing," he answered simply as I finished my water and sat it on the counter knowing I would come back for more later.

"Come on, lets finish the movie," I said moving to walk past him, but he stuck his arm out around my waist and stopped me.

"I've already seen it," he spoke huskily as his eyes smoldered into mine.

I had never seen that look in his eyes before. It was as if he was dazzling me. The look of pure determination was all that consumed his face as he stared me down. The look he had, it was a look that made me feel…small. Revealed. Like he could see past all my pretenses and just see me.

I didn't want him to see past it. I wanted to stay strong and independent. But around him, he always had this way of making me feel like I needed someone. Needed him. I didn't like that feeling because it made me feel vulnerable and I never liked being vulnerable. Though, with Edward I wanted him to protect me. To be there for me and hold me when I cried.

There was something so familiar about him. As if I'd known him in another life. And that very feeling: knowing, caring, trusting familiarity confused me.

Some moments I was completely at ease with Edward and others, well, I was scared of what he did to me. What had been doing to me all this time? However he made me feel, though, I tried to welcome the new feelings that were taking me over. He overpowered me and I can't say that I completely hated it. He was strong and gentle, loving and protective. Funny even. But above all that, I'd always known he'd always be there for me, somehow.

Edward leaned in, slowly once more. When he was a hairs length away from me he stopped and just stared at me. He lifted his finger and ran I down my cheek ever so slowly. The energy crackled between us as my pulse quickened with every passing second he touched me. There were no children or sauces on a rampage to interrupt. Nothing holding him back. It was just us, now. Nothing was going to stop him this time.

The look of pure determination told me that.

Edward shifted just a fraction and our lips whispered against each other. Once. Twice and the again. His fingers wound through my hair as he held me to him and my arms willingly, on there own accord, wrapped around his back. I couldn't help but touch him. Feel his strong muscles as they contracted with each frantic grasp I made for him.

His lips were luscious and hard, dominating and passionate against my own. I couldn't keep up. I moaned into the kiss.

Edward shifted again and began to walk me backwards until my back came into contact with the kitchen island. I gasped with the contact of the cool granite and Edward found his entrance. He nipped and lick at my lips thoroughly before he found his way back to me. His cool tongue mingling with my hot.

I moaned out in distress for no more. For more. He reached for my leg, bringing it up around his hip as the new position angled us better for Edward's pleading rock against my center. I moaned again. Head tipping back as his lips descended to my neck. I lifted up, needing more, encaging him between my legs.

"Edward."

He carried me to his room, shutting us in. Edward laid me gently on the bed. For a moment, he simply looked at me. As if seeing all of me.

Our cloths disappeared. Piece by piece we revealed ourselves to one another. As need filling the air, the only thing heard was our whispers and pleas for more. My name spilling from Edward's lips as he filled me. The emotions I felt with him this way were those I'd never known before.

It was magic and power. Need and want. Take and the taken. I was his.

Every scary part consumed and delighted me as we rose.

"Bella, love, it's time to wake up." I heard an angel say.

But if that angel didn't let me sleep, I was going to give him a piece of my mind.

"Bella." Edward laughed as I groaned and turned back over.

"Edward?"

"Yes, love?"

"Why are you waking me up at this ungodly hour?" I asked as I opened one eye and peeked at him.

"Bella, it's after twelve," he said handing me one of his shirts to put on then sitting next to me.

"Stop."

"Stop what?" he asked alarmed.

"No, I mean are you serious? I haven't slept past nine or for more than four, maybe five hours for years."

"Well you did. Here," he said placing a tray on my lap as I sat up some more.

"What's this? Is it edible?"

"I may not be able to prepare a five course culinary art master piece, but I'm a decent cook. My dad made sure I could at least cook one breakfast, lunch and dinner."

"Well, maybe not five courses. Two or three, but five is a bit much," I said taking a bite of the pancakes. Edward laughed.

"If you say so."

"I do, thank you. Pancakes are my favorite."

"I know. You talk in your sleep."

"Tell me you didn't!" I demanded dropping my fork. I knew I talked in my sleep; my grandfather used to tease me about it, but I never had to worry about anybody hearing me. There was no telling what I said.

"I promise I didn't hear much. You mostly slept through the night until I got up. When I came out of the bathroom, you were muttering something about smothered pancakes." I laughed.

"Come on, eat up, I want you to come somewhere with me today."

"Where?" I asked taking a big bite of pancakes.

"It's a surprise."

"I hate surprises," I said through a mouth full of pancakes to greedy to not take that bite to answer.

"Here," he said handing me a glass of milk laughing. "Doesn't matter, I'm still not telling you."

"Clothes."

"I washed the ones you wore yesterday, they'll do fine."

I glared at him and continued eating until all the pancakes were gone. When Edward wanted a bite, I put a heap of pancakes on the fork and put it to his mouth and just before he took the bite, I pulled the fork back and told him he should have made himself some and ate them. But when I went to take my last bite, he forced my hand to let him eat it.

I pouted for a long time before I decided to move.

We were both dressed and ready to go in forty minutes or so. He said it was a long drive, but I told him I didn't mind. I eventually fell asleep thinking about the night before.

* * *RMF* * *

"Bella, Bella, wake up. We're here." I heard Edward whisper close to my ear.

"Here where?" I asked grudgingly because he would tell me before hand.

Edward chuckled, "My parents' house."

"WHAT! How could you take me to meet your parents looking like this?" I flipped the visor down so I could look myself over. There was no drool at least. "You should have told me, so-"

"So you could what?" Edward asked cutting off my rant. I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out.

"Exactly," Edward said as he appeared at my door opening it. I could never get used to that. Every time I went somewhere with him, he always opened my door.

I didn't except the hand he offered as I got out the car. I wasn't concentrating on my surroundings or the fact that the drive was gravel and slipped. Edward laughed at me as I glared at him. Edward guiding me as I continued to concentrate on my appearance as we walked up to the house. I was frantically trying to smooth my hair down, but I wanted a brush. I never fussed about my hair, but this was different.

Edward continued to laugh at me as he opened the front door without knocking.

"Boys!" Edward yelled as he entered.

"Daddy!" the boys yelled form somewhere in the back of the house.

"Daddy, daddy, da-BELLA!" the boys said as I bent down to hug them.

"We missed you!"

"Well, you know I missed my two favorite snacks!" I said laughing.

"Eddie, my man! How's it han-Bella?" Emmett asked.

"Edward, you're here." Esme said coming out the kitchen wiping her hands.

"Esme?" I asked.

"Bella, how do you know my mom?"

* * *RMF* * *

_**Thank you cherrytone for the beta-ing skills!**_

_**Thank you a million orange train tracks! **_


	21. Strange Revelations

_**Onward with the long awaited read!**_

_9 June…continued_

**Edwards's POV**

When Bella and I walked into the house, the boys tackled her in a fierce hug, but what really got me was the fact that Emmett knew her. I was more than shocked, to say the least, when Emmett called Bella by name with a shocked expression as well. How did he know Bella and why was he shocked to see her with me?

Bella just looked at Emmett and the rest of my family with a strange expression. I know it was stupid and overly dramatic, but for a slpit second I wondered if Bella was really a stalker. She had popped up at the strangest times and had, somehow, wiggled her way into my heart with her irritatingly cynical wit that I now lived to hear.

But that was impossible, I know. Bella was no stalker or kidnapper and that was just my minds way of trying to figure things out, but there was no way I could figure this out without some questions and tangible answers. She was, most times, a cynical smart ass, but that was all apart of the charm that is Bella and I was crazy to believe she was anything but extraordinary.

She was beautiful, smart, beyond loving. She did things for people just to do them. She never had a reason or an ulterior motive for doing things; she did them because she wanted to. She never felt obligated to do anything and would tell you otherwise.

But there was just something about her that made me trust her. Made me feel as if I'd known her my whole life.

"Esme?" Bella asked surprised.

"Bella, how do you know my mom?"

This was beyond confusing. Bella seemed to know or at least recognize my entire family. I was sure that I had never introduced her to them and I knew the boys never talked about her with them either.

"Bella." My mother breathed as she lunged forward and brought her into a tight hug as tear ran down her cheeks; s broad smile on her face, "It's you," she whispered barely audible, but I heard it.

Bella slowly wrapped her hands around Esme in a limp hug and she stood there. When Bella pulled away, her eyes were glazed over. She looked…mystify beyond belief.

Suddenly Bella swung around and looked at me as if just catching on to something.

"Did you just call Esme your mother?" she asked accusingly.

"Y-yes." I stuttered out. The fierceness in her voice was deadly calm, but chilling.

"Those two over there are you brother and sister?" I just looked at her a moment before answering, but before I could she dashed out the house.

"Bella!"

**Alice's POV**

"Bella!" Edward and I called as Bella ran from the house.

God I hope this doesn't backfire. Bella looked a bit confused, but more than that, she was ready to lock herself up.

It took a long time for us to get Bella to the point where she would even come back into this town and be with us and now this. I hadn't even figured out how I was going to tell Bella about Edward being my brother, and this was certainly not the way I would have done it.

I'd honestly thought one of them would have remembered the other by now.

Hoped.

I was really losing my touch and because of that, two people who have always been right for each other may very well be torn apart, because I screwed up. I know I was right in not letting on that Edward was my brother when I found out; Bella would have kept her distance from him even more, longer.

Bella would have never opened herself up the way she has, since she's met Edward, if she knew he was apart of the family. She would be convinced that this was another way she was _leeching _onto us, as she once put it.

Bella always felt like an intruder after her father died. She didn't want to lean on us for help while she was grieving.

Bella put on a brave face for Esme, laughed at Emmett's attempts to be funny to cheer her up. But there were at times, more often than not, when she was more shy or cautious around us and didn't act the same was around us. She would no longer barge into the house after me or help Esme in the kitchen or let me give her makeovers whenever I wanted. She and Carlisle would have numerous conversations about things that were boring, but to her, they were fascinating and she just stopped going to see him.

She stopped being Bella. The crazy, blushing, always inquisitive, fun loving, fishing on the dock girl that I knew and became of cynical hermit. She told me I was being crazy for thinking that she had changed and I know there are times that I over exaggerate things, but I wasn't the only one who noticed it. The whole family watched as Bella became someone all together different almost over night.

Even Jasper, who hadn't known her long at that point, could see the drastic changes that came over Bella.

We still loved her the way we always had, but it pained us to see that she was going through all this pain and alone. We wanted to help, tried to help, but she just kept insisting that she was fine and didn't need any consoling.

I remember Emmett coming home one night, later than usual, and it was the first and only time I ever saw him cry. We were all sad about Charlie's death, but Emmett was strong. He was strong for Bella, because that's what she needed whether she admitted it or not.

He and Bella had their 'brother-sister' days when the two of them would just go out and do whatever, but when he walked through the house, he looked like death run over. His face was drenched in tears as he walked to Rose and laid in her lap as he openly sobbed. He was clutching to her like nothing he ever did before.

Emmett never told anyone why he was so sad that night and none of us had heard from Bella for nearly a week after that. Emmett assured us that she was fine, but I could see something underlining in his eyes. She was fine, mostly, but there was something he wasn't telling us, something she had made him swear to never tell.

I went to Emmett alone to try and get him to tell me what happened, but all he did was look at me with the saddest eyes I had ever seen; nearly as sad as Bella's. He was torn between what he promised her and what he thought was right, but in the end he just told me to be there for her and to _never_ let her disappear for days on end the way she just had.

I was so confused by what he said. It didn't make any sense, what he was saying, what he was asking. It scared me the way he was talking and looking at me. As if he were afraid something would happen.

I went to Bella and tried to get her to talk to me, but she just gave that look. Like I was dim-witted or crazy and didn't need to worry. It was then that I knew something was wrong; Bella only gave me those condescending looks when she was seriously trying to hide something.

It took a while, but I finally got her to talk a little and not much at that.

I could see the pain in her eyes that she always tried to conceal as she told me that she thought what she was doing to us was wrong; that she was using us as a crutch. She felt like she was using us to replace the people she lost, so she pulled away; closed herself off as she was so determinately intractable.

**Bella's POV**

"Bella!" Esme cried as she came to hug me. She seemed to have had tears in her eyes, but I wasn't quite sure until I felt the faint drops on my shoulder through my shirt. I slowly and unsurely wrapped my arms around her in a limp hug as she squeezed me like there was no tomorrow.

"It's you," she breathed. Me who and why was she crying?

I couldn't really concentrate on what I could have missed; because I was too busy concentrating on '_Bella, how do you know my mom?'_ question Edward asked me. What was he talking about? Esme couldn't be his mother, there was just no way.

I pulled back from Esme, blinking fiercely as I tried to make sense of this all. I turned to look and saw everyone else standing to the side by the parlor entry. They were all here and not the least bit shocked to see Edward.

"Did you just call Esme you mother?" I asked accusingly looking at Edward as I turned to his quickly.

"Y-yes." He stuttered.

"Those two over there are you brother and sister?"

It took him a moment before he got the courage to answer again, but I could already hear his answer, so I did the only thing I could think of, I turned around and ran out the house unsure of what exactly I was doing or what my motive was. I felt like I was in the middle of one of those old black and white Twilight Zone episodes. It was all too strange to be here with all of them together.

"Bella!" I heard Edward and Alice call as I ran down the steps to the front yard.

I stopped out side and looked around the house making sure it was indeed the Cullen Estate. I looked back at the house; Alice was standing on the massive Victorian porch with a worried expression on her face. Edward was close by her with a similar expression, though it showed more pain than anything.

I studied the house in front of me and it was indeed the Cullen house. It was three stories high, white with pale blue shutters; rectangular flower pots under all the windows, and the garden out front was positively beautiful. Exactly the same as it had been the last time I was over.

I was always amazed how Esme kept a beautiful garden in Washington.

I stood there for a long moment just studying the house I practically grow up in. There was no way this was real. I had to have still been asleep. How could I be here with Edward and the boys? That would mean that Kevin and Kyle were Esme's and Carlisle's grandchildren. I knew they had grandchildren, but I had never met them.

My head swirled as I tried to figure out how I had gotten here. Why didn't I realize it sooner?

Ugh, I was sleep and didn't see how we got here. Then Edward woke me up telling me we were _here _and that here was there as in his parents house. I was so shocked that he brought me here that I didn't pay attention to anything else. Was I really all that flustered that I didn't even recognize the house?

Great, way to go Bella. Next time you get kidnapped, you will have experience in recalling events on how you arrived to said destination.

"Bella, are you okay? Are you leaving?" Kevin asked sadly looking up at me. He was always more sensitive than his brother. Kyle was sensitive as well, but he didn't show his feelings as easily as Kevin did.

"Yes, I'm fine," I replied grabbing both of there hand as I lead them past Alice and Edward back into the house; everyone else was still standing there waiting patiently for us.

I wasn't going to leave. I just wanted to get a look at the house and yard, because obviously, I was too preoccupied with readying myself to meet Edward's parents, because he didn't warn me.

I was just too confused.

Emmett looked just as confused as me, Rose was bored; surprise, surprise. Jasper had the same smug look Alice had when we first got here, but their faces differed some now. They seemed almost scared about something. Like something was going to happen. Edward's face bothered me the most as he starred at me and the boys with a pained and really worried; now, expression on his face. And for the first time, I saw Esme anxious. I had never seen Esme anxious; she was always as cool as a cucumber just like Carlisle.

"Esme is your mother?" I asked slowly, again, looking back at Edward.

"Yes. How do you know my family?" I ignored him.

"Esme, Edward is your son, then?" she nodded, "I though your other son's name was," I paused trying to remember it. I hadn't seen him in years and could remember why now, "Anthony." I blurted out.

"Your other son's name is Anthony, right?"

"My middle name."

"HA! Bella you remember that? Edward was such an idiot."

"Shut up, Emmett!"

"Really man, did you think that _Anthony_ was a better name to go by as a pianist?"

"Oh," Alice said bouncing in place happy again, "I forgot about that, that was the reason for changing it in high school."

"It was a faze, can we please not go through this again." Edward demanded exasperatedly as I stood silently, stunned, as I watched them interact with each other.

The way brothers and sisters fight.

"Wait!" I said holding up my hands, "Emmett _and_ Edward are your older brothers," I stated again looking at Alice as she nodded, "Carlisle and Esme are your parents and Rosalie and Japer are you brother and sister in-laws, making these little guys your nephews and Carlisle's and your grandsons," I recapped looking at each of them in turn still confused as I trying to put the pieces together.

"Bella, get with the program. We have been through this already; I mean he has the same last name. For someone so smart, you sure are slow."

"Uncle Emmett, don't talk about Bella that way." Kevin fumed.

"And what are you going to do about, munchkin?"

"Emmett, aren't you a little old to be taunting a four year? And your family doesn't have claim on 'Cullen.'"

"Bella, don't make me pull out the guns on you." He warned flexing his biceps, I snorted.

"Hmmm, Esme, I have this video I'd like to show you. Why don't you jo-"

"You don't have to play dirty." He pouted.

"I'm still confused," Edward interrupted, "Bella, how do you know my family?"

"Um, well, Alice is my best friend. We've known each other since birth."

This was all too much to take in. Edward was Esme's middle child that I hadn't seen in years. I couldn't believe that it was him all this time.

I never connected the dots.

"Edward, you don't remember little Bella Swan? She was at our house all the time," Emmett asked.

"I suppose Edward wouldn't remember. Edward is three years older than Bella and Alice, so you were almost always at different schools. Then when Renee…when you got back, Edward was finishing high school at, Seattle School of Arts. You didn't spend that much time together growing up, you and Alice were always off somewhere or you were with Hen…at home." Esme said. I could tell she was trying not to bring up things by the way she kept stopping and changing up what she was saying.

It mostly all made sense now, but I was still a little…stunned by it all. How could I have gone three months without knowing who he really was? Everything Esme said made sense and I suppose I didn't see Edward much these days because he has children and I rarely visited this dreary town anymore, so there was no chance of me running into him.

But he was Alice's Bro-

"You knew this whole time and you didn't tell me. I was going out of my mind over here and you none-the-wiser over there knew." I said to Alice.

"Bella, come on. We have been best friends since we were in diapers."

Sometimes that little pixie really got to me. She knew from the first time I told her about _Agent Cullen_ that I was talking about her brother.

'_You need to get out of this hermit-ness you have'_ she demanded, _'You're perfect for each other'_ she foresaw, _'I can see it now'_ she'd sing. See it my foot! She was just trying to push us together in her forever, never-ending quest to make us real sisters once and for all.

I was so going to kill her before that happened, but Emmett stepped in and hoisted me up.

"Bella," Alice said meekly. "I though you'd figure it out. We have the same last name."

"Get a phone book, Alice. You should have said something."

"But Bella!" Alice whined as she dragged out my name.

"Emmett can't hold me forever, you know." Emmett just laughed and held me higher as Esme snickered behind me.

"Bella, calm down," Esme scolded, "Alice, you shouldn't have kept it all a secret. I can't believe you knew this whole time."

"Yeah!" I huffed like a child crossing my arms.

"Bella, you know Auntie Ally?" Kyle finally spoke up.

"She's my best friend." I replied softening my face.

"Um, Bella, we're hungry can you fix us something to eat?"

"Sure, let's go," I said taking there hands as I led them to the kitchen; everyone else following behind. Forgetting the mess Alice created for the time being. There was no use getting into this right now.

*** * * RMF * * ***

_**Thanks a million orange hamburgers on orange buns! **_


	22. Difference of Opinion

_**Onward with the read!**_

_13 June_

Ring. Ring. Ring.

I was going to pull the phone out the wall if it didn't stop ringing. It had been driving me crazy all day. The one day I've had off, no work no nothing and my phone won't stop ringing. It just rings and rings nonstop, consistently irritating and driving me up the wall. I finally had to leave the house at one point, but that didn't really help, because not only was it my house phone, but cellular too.

I just put that one on silence so even if it did ring, I wouldn't know it.

I picked up my green tea and book, switched the house phone ringer to off before I stepped out onto the front porch with Goober following. My front porch had a long wicker chair, with soft and fluffy yellow cushions adorning the seat. On either side sat two small tables and two extra large rocking chairs.

Tonight, I opted for the rocking chair.

I sat my tea down on the small table as I took my seat, wrapping one of my grandmother's many knitted throws around my shoulders. It was raining out, not unusual for this time of year or any other time when you live in this region. Rain was a constant companion that was faithful in the expected, as well as, the unexpected. Sometimes friendly and sometimes vicious and out for vengeance.

But regardless of its ever changing moods, its habits never faltered. You almost always knew what to expect, but never when at times. It surprised you when you least expected it too, but nonetheless, you knew you shouldn't have been, because its habits never change.

As the rain fell in its uncanny ability to sooth even the loneliest and yearning of souls, the sky was just starting to show the faintest signs that the day was coming to an end. Time to tie up loose ends; prepare for the time of rest as evening took a step back and night moved in. As the sun started to take its departure from our sights, the sky began to swirl in the arraying colors of farewell. And despite the rains knack for eradicating all things from the regularly scheduled programs, the cicadas were singing their songs as cheerfully as they could, keeping me company with the gentle hums of their chests.

I always loved this time of year. Though it was never anywhere close to what you could call hot, it was starting to actually feel warm out and the sun was a little less shy. The temperature was…comfortable and inviting. It had a hominess to it that I could get lost in for days, reminding you of what used to be and when the wind blew, I could feel its warmth and coolness offered to me.

I looked out into the rain, past the rain and into the trees that encompassed the street. Their trunks large and leaves full as moss and ivy climbed higher to seek out what lay waiting at the canopies. I imagined mothers covering their babies, protecting them from the cold rain that invaded the homes and disturbed their routine.

It was peaceful, enjoyable even, to sit out on the porch and just watch the rain dance across the streets demanding attention.

I glanced at Goober, as he lay staring out, at nothing in particular; just watching, knowing that he too loved it this time of year. He always wanted to go out or be in the backyard so he could bask in the rays of sun while they lasted. It was the perfect time for it; the days were getting longer as the time slowly changed, allowing the joys of the season to take over.

There was no escaping it. No one who was a Washington native wanted to escape this time of year. It was the one time we could truly hope for the sun to smile upon us and grant us access to its warm, inviting and nurturing light.

I was so deep in my thought process that I hadn't even noticed a car pull into my drive way until I heard the door slam shut; with quite a bit of force too. The pink umbrella moved slow, but swiftly and gracefully with it owner. I heard the heard clack of heels on my wood steps as Alice took them quickly. I couldn't see her face, because she had the umbrella covering her.

She lowered the umbrella, shook and closed it, resting it against the railing before walking calmly past me to the other rocking chair. She dared not sit beside me. She always knew when I needed my space and when she could push me.

She'd given me space for the last four days, only pushing my buttons by her incessant calling. Today she decide to push a little hard by just showing up after I ignored all her phone calls and anyone else's. She was a master at getting people to do her bidding, but she physically gave me the space I needed and demanded, sitting in the other rocking chair, curled up just as I was.

I didn't acknowledge her, didn't look at her or even give her a side ways glance as we both just sat there in silence, the only sound coming from Goober as he snored, now fast asleep.

I don't know how long we sat there, not talking or looking. The rain had slowed to a gentle taping and though it was getting pretty dark, the sky lightened with it. I reached for my book, finally, and turned to the last page I had read and continued reading from the spot. As I flipped the page, I could hear Alice shifting in her chair and I felt her gaze as she scrutinized me.

I continued to read, I had nothing to say.

"Bella, how long are you going to give me the silent treatment? It's been nearly a week now; we've never gone this long without so much as a word to each other." I could hear the distress in her voice, but I didn't respond. What could I say? What did she want me to say?

"Bella, look at me," she nearly demanded, I turned the page, "Bella! I'm sorry, I couldn't tell you."

"No, Alice, you could, but you chose not to. You lied to me for months, Alice. You knew he was your brother and those boys were your nephews, but you said nothing. Somehow, I don't see the just cause," I said angrily, but still composed, not looking up from my book.

"For God's sake, will you stop reading the damn book and look at me!" she nearly shouted. Alice was never one to get angry.

"What? Are you happy now?" I said glaring at her.

"No. I'll be happy when we're friends and talking again."

"Maybe you should have thought about that beforehand."

"Are you breaking up with me?" she asked as tears formed in her eyes. I looked away from her.

Alice never cried and I couldn't stand to see her cry, but she knew how I felt about lying. She knew how deeply it cut me and yet she did it. For what, her own selfish wants for my life? What she thought I needed? I loved Alice, but I didn't want her ruling my life and telling me what I should want and need. What I should be doing and where I should be going. I had enough of that from Renee.

"Bella, you don't understand. I had…you were-"

"Alice," I said looking back at her, "I know exactly what and who I am. I think I understand that perfectly and the fact that you tried to unknowingly push your brother and I together."

"What's the real problem, Bella? That I lied to you or the fact that you actually care about him and now more than ever there's potential for him to be a constant in you like. Because that's you real fear isn't it? Becoming attached to someone. He's not just apart of my family, Bella. You care for him and you're scared and there's no where for you to turn to that's safe."

"One thing doesn't have anything to do with the next," I stated getting up and walking to the banister and leaning against one of the posts.

"When's the last time you spoke to, Edward?"

"Today, what of it?"

"Not so you could speak to Kevin and Kyle, but really talk to him. I know you've been chatting with him Bella. Who else do you have in your life to talk to when you're driving home at night? You haven't called me or Jasper or dad when you're leaving work. You don't talk to Emmett anymore, because he makes you laugh while driving and Esme hates it when you drive at night and gets worried, so you don't go down that road anymore."

"So I've talked to him a few times, what's your point?"

"You care about him and now that you know who he really is, you are pushing him away, but not too much, because you care about his boys, Bella. There's something there and I don't want you to throw it away because you're scared. You lov-"

"Again, one thing has nothing to do with the other, Alice. You lied to me," I said turning to face her, "for nearly four months you lied to me. You had no right to do that. I don't need you making decisions for my life, Alice. I can make my own choices for what I want."

"That's just it, Bella. You're not. You're hiding, is what you're doing. You're running from anything that is good and pure in your life because you're scared."

"Not wanting the things that you want and have, does not make me scared, Alice. It just means I want different things for my life and there's nothing wrong with that." I finished turning to go back in the house. I didn't want to talk about this any longer. It was ridiculous and I wanted to be done with this conversation. Alice had no right to bully her desires on me and my life. I didn't want what she wanted.

I wasn't going to allow myself to want it. It was all false promises and gum drops. The real world didn't operate like some childish fairytale. The villains of the story don't get crushed under a house while the princess is wakened from hells dream with a kiss from the prince after he climbed into her tower window on her hair.

Life was a roller coaster of ups and downs. Some people got the high road and others, not so much. It's just the facts of life and they have to be dealt with. Avoiding it or deluding yourself in false hopes doesn't do anybody any good.

But Alice grabbed my arm before I could get far. "Don't you remember when we were young and you said you wanted to write and have a couple kids; two boys, two girls? The greatest man ever, loved music and shared some of your passion for books?"

"Alice,' I sighed, "we're not kids anymore and dreams change. Simple as that. I don't want to be married and I don't want children."

"Bella, when are you going to stop intertwining yourself with that bitch of a wannabe mother you have? You are not her and you are not destined to be who she is and do what she did to you, to your own children."

I didn't answer her. I had no words. There was nothing I could say to her, there was no way I could get her to understand. History repeats itself always and I was going to stop it from happening.

"I spoke to Angela yesterday, Bella. Why didn't you tell me your mother came? What happened?"

"Because there was nothing to tell. We met, we had lunch, and I came home. End of story."

"Bella, stop pushing."

"I'm not pu-" she grabbed my left wrist and raised it so I could see it.

"This isn't nothing, Bella. Do you really want to throw this away? You love him, Bella, I can see it."

"This," I said releasing my wrist from her grasp, "was from the boys."

"It was from all of them and you know it. He's the one, Bella."

"I don't want the one or him. There is nothing between us, so just let it be."

"How long are you going to let your past rule your life in the here and now? When will you realize that you can't avoid the pain by being alone? I know you're hurt and possibly broken by what happened to them, Bella, but you can't let it hold you back."

_Hey there kiddo…_

"Alice, this has nothing to do with that."

"It has everything to do with it. You don't want to do to someone else what Renee did to you. You don't want to leave anybody behind or loose another loved one, but, Bella, you can't push them away for what could and probably won't happen. I lied to you, Bella and I know your feelings on that, I know what it did to you, where it took you, but, Bella I was only doing what I thought was best. I love you and you lost the ones you love, but you have to let it go."

_I love you baby girl…_

"Stop walking the path of the past and see what's in front of you. You are not replacing them, but embracing them by living your life to the fullest. You don't have to want what I want or have, but you can't put the brakes on something that has yet to truly begin, because you're scared. Don't stop living, Bella. Open up again and be who you really are and not this cynical ass that is a facade of who you really and truly are."

By that time Alice was finished, I was in tears, crying in her arms as her tiny frame held me.

*** * *RMF* * ***

_Everyone is dying for Edward and Bella to get together, they will, but it's not some overnight romance out of the Blue Lagoon. There love, together, is going to develop slowly, but not snail slow. Bella's been though a lot and it's going to take time for her to open up all the way._

_**Thanks cherrytone!**_

_**Thanks a million orange salt crystals!**_


	23. Taking it Slow

_**Onward with the read…**_

_14 June…_

Today was not the day to be feeling tired. I wasn't just the run of the mill tired, but I was emotionally drained and I felt…heavy? I was just weighed down by everything going on and now I was finally feeling the effects.

Alice's talk made me feel…I'm not entirely sure what I feel right now. I know I should have let go of what happened already, but I don't know how. I don't know how not to blame myself for everything that happened in order to feel proud and good about myself and my life without them. I didn't physically do anything to cause what happened, but I didn't prevent it either.

And now I'm alone. Not just because Henry and Charlie are gone, but because I made it that way. I've pushed away everyone that cared for me; I kept myself locked away like a prisoner. Whenever anyone tried to help me, I ran. I ran and I never stopped, but my troubles are still here waiting patiently for me. I can't outrun them.

I'm not entirely sure I want to anymore.

Alice was right. Alice was always right. When we were little, I did want the dream. I wanted the husband and kids in a pretty little house with a dog. I wanted the picture perfect holidays and vacations in the summer to Disney or wherever. But when my life changed, I stopped wanting those things; didn't allow myself to want those things. I had forgotten. Forgotten everything I ever wanted for myself and that included someone else.

Now, there's Edward. The almost friend I once had; the brother and son to the most important people in my life. He's been here this whole time. In the shadows almost; us just missing each other as we went about our lives not knowing that we were both attached to the same family.

I loved him.

If Alice had told me he was her brother the first time I told her about _Agent Cullen_, I would have, surely, kept my distance from him. There was no doubt about that. I wouldn't have allowed myself to become…comfortable with him. Or friends. But what I can't seem to figure out is if it would hurt me not to have him in my life. Knowing now what we share, I guess, could I go back and make the choice to stay away from him without a second's hesitation?

Could I push him away now and not feel that ache in my heart?

I don't know if I have it in me to; not sure if I have it in me not to. But it's just not him I have to worry about now, it's Kevin and Kyle. I love the two of them. I couldn't intentionally hurt them that way. I could never, not be around them or care for them the way I do. The three of them are apart of me now, the way the rest of them are.

I may stray a little far from home at times, but I always come back, if even for a short while.

_What do I do?_

I was sitting outside of Edward's house trying to figure out how I was going to approach this. There was no way around it. Edward and my relationship has changed; for the better or worse, I couldn't say, but there's no changing it back. We shared something intimate; something sacred between two people and now I have to face the music.

Ding. Dang. Dong.

"Bella!" Edward exclaimed as he yanked the door open. His shirt was covered in water and the hems of his pants were wet as well. His hair was a complete mess, more than his usual stylish disarray.

"BELLA!" I heard the jubilant cry from an unknown naked bottom that ran past us and up the stairs.

"Edward, did you feed them hyper for breakfast?"

"I don't know. They were just in one of those moods today. They splashed water everywhere and now, as you can see, they're running naked and wet through the house playing hide and go seek."

"Oh!" I practically squeaked out after Edward leaned down and pressed his lips lightly to mine after he finished his rant.

"I sorry, I didn-"

"No, it-it's fine. I…just didn't expect it is all." Edward looked as if he wanted to say something else, but I cut him off before he could start, "let's go round up the boys."

Edward and I both headed up stairs. Boyish giggles could be heard from all over as we trekked through the house looking for them. They were good hiders too. You'd think it would be a little easier to find two giggling naked little boys, but it took us nearly half an hour to find and contain them long enough to put some cloths on them.

"Edward, are you sure about this? I don't want to take them and you're not there."

"It's fine, really. I never took them before because they were too young, but now is as good a time as any," Edward said as we walked to the kitchen.

"That's my point. You should be there for that first. It's not everyday four year olds get to see lions and tigers and bear-"

"Oh my!" I punched Edward in the arm and continued.

"-and fish for the first time. We can stay here and build a fort or something. That would be fun. Watch some movies, they can help me make dinner and we could make pop sickles for tomorrow. I made a great recipe for those," I rambled on nervously, "Or I could take them to Barnes and Noble, I've been meaning to get a book and they have a great kids section. I could read to th-"

"Bella," Edward breathed as he took me into his arms slowly so not to startle me this time, "It's okay. We can always take them again another time."

"But, it's the first tim-"

"There are a lot of things to do in Seattle and I have been there for all their firsts, missing one won't hurt anybody." His velvety voice swept over me making me calm. But when he stopped speaking, I just couldn't let it go. I had already made him feel inadequate as a parent once and now I was taking away his chance to see the boys experience something new.

"Edward, I still don't lik-"I couldn't finish what I was saying because Edward's lips were now gently pressed against mine. He held me close as my arms moved, on their own accord, around his neck. His lips were soft and warm as they moved with mine.

His hands found their way into my hair, but as I felt his tongue slide across my lips ever so gently, I jerked back from him.

"I'm sorry. I…I….it's just that…" I tried, as I looked away from him.

"You think the other night was a mistake." It wasn't a question.

I stood there for a long moment without saying anything. Edward just stared back at me, pain etched in his eyes as he tried to compose his face into a smooth mask of calmness, but I could see otherwise. I could see the hurt I caused by pulling away from him. I could tell he really believed I thought what happened shouldn't have. That it was brash and foolish for us to have acted that way.

I wasn't fully aware of my feelings on the subject. It was beautiful and so many other things that I couldn't begin to describe. I didn't regret it, but I wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do at the time or any time for that matter.

I loved him, but I really didn't know his feelings. I didn't know how or what he felt for me. He apparently feels something, but how do I know its love? How do I know his feelings run as deeply as mine do? That he wanted what happened and it wasn't just_ something_ that happened and now he was just going with the flow.

He didn't really seem to be the type, but maybe he was just…trying it on for size. We get along, becoming or _are_ good friends, so why not. It's not unheard of for friends to get caught up in something and just continue on and maybe form a relationship because they like each other in general.

There was too much at stake here. It wasn't just about him and me. There were two little boys to think about and a whole family that we both love equally to factor in. They had nothing to do with us, but the aftermath of this _us_ would have everything to do with them. I couldn't bear to hurt any of them or Edward, because I wasn't capable of truly loving someone and being loved in return.

"No. It's not that, it's just…"

"You don't want anything more, then?" he asked calmly, too calm.

"I…I…" could I do this? Could I try and not run from someone? Do what Alice said and just live and not worry about what if? Our lives were made up of what if's and I didn't know how not to factor those in. The _what if's_ and _maybe so's_ or the _quite possibly's _are what our lives revolve around. I can't be blinded going into this _maybe something beautiful,_ but there was no way of knowing.

I had to have faith and trust that it would all work out.

"I…I," I stuttered out scared of the words that would follow, "I…need…slow, please." At that, Edward gathered me in a tight, but warm hug. He held me like he did the time I lost it after watching _Charlotte's Web_.

His left arm was locked tightly around my shoulders as his right moved up and down from my shoulder blade to my lower back, relaxing me into his hold as I wrapped my arms around his back.

"I'm sorry, I should have mov-"

"No, it's not you. I just need time," I said as I hesitantly reached up, unsure of myself, to kiss him on the side of the mouth just as we heard the boys come running down the stairs.

"Can we go now, Bella? I want to see gorillas," Kyle asked bouncing in place, a trait he obviously got from his aunt.

"I want to see sharks!" Kevin cried.

"Yes, yes, let's go so we can have some fun and daddy can get to work," I said running them out of the kitchen as they screamed loudly.

"Bella, how much is it?" Edward asked pulling out his wallet.

"How much is what?"

"How much is it to get into the zoo and the aquarium?"

"I don't know," I lied.

"Is that so?" I just stared at him. "Bella."

"Edward."

"Bella."

"Edward, I am perfectly capable of paying to get us in the zoo," I said sternly. I was capable and I hated him wanting to pay for everything. Why did men always feel the need to pay? But if he was one of _those_ men, the ones that thought they shouldn't pay for anything, I'd be fuming because he was so pretentous.

Caught between a rock and a hard place is obviously my favorite place to be.

"I never said you weren't. I'm fully aware you are more than capable, now, how much is it?" I crossed my arms as he started pulling out bills.

"Bella, we can do this the hard way or the easy way. Which is it?"

"That depends on what your definition of easy and hard is."

"What's that supposed to mean."

"It means I'm leaving and you can put your wallet away now, unless of course you want to walk around with it open and money falling out." With that, I turned and headed out the door.

****

"How much longer?" Kevin asked tugging on my pants as we waited in the long line.

"Yeah, how much longer? I want to see some bears!" Kyle added as he started to stalk around the other people in line like he was on the prowl. Kevin started to make bear sounds and scared a little girl with strawberry blond pigtails about his same age. She screamed loudly and ran from the predators as playful giggles escaped her.

"I'm sorry. They have been a handful today knowing they were coming to the zoo."

"It's okay. Tanya has been sick with pneumonia and this is the happiest we've seen her in a few weeks," Her father said.

"Oh, I so sorry."

"No, no, it's fine really. She has bad asthma and sometimes she can get really sick. She been okay for a couple weeks and has been dying to come to the zoo, but we weren't sure about letting her come out into the Seattle air until we were certain she was completely healthy. I'm Susan McGreggor by the way and this is my husband Robert."

"It's nice to meet you. I glad she's okay now. I'm Isabella Swan, but please, call me Bella. The boys are Kevin, the bear and Kyle, the lion."

"Mommy! Daddy! Look, I escaped the big bad animals!" Tanya cried as she jumped into her father's arms as she giggled.

"She got away from us," Kyle sulked as he grabbed onto my leg.

"I don't mind," Kevin said bashfully for some reason.

What was that all about?

"Oh, your boys are the cutest. How old are they?"

"Oh! They're…" I didn't know what to say to that. They weren't my boys even though sometimes I forgot that. I felt like I had always known them and had them in my life. I suppose in a way, I did, but just not physically there, I guess. I looked down at them lovingly. They were both staring up at me with pleading eyes.

As if they understood everything going on and my answer meant so much to them. That if I denied them or accepted them as mine, that it would make all the difference. Standing there looking at them as they stared back at me, I realized then and there that I couldn't live without them. They were mine in everyway that truly mattered.

"-precious yes, thank you, but only when they are not harassing pretty little girls. They'll be five next month." The boys beamed up at me and hugged onto my leg tighter.

"Oh, here we go. I guess we'll see you in the park, Bella. Nice to met you," Susan said as her husband lead her to the cashier.

"Next in line please!"

"Hello."

"Hello and welcome to Woodland Park Zoo, Seattle. How many?"

"Two children and one adult."

"Thirty-five dollars ma'am." I handed her the money as the boys bounce in place ready to go in.

"Here you go," she said handing me three tickets, one red arm band and two blue and a map, "enjoy!"

"Thank you. Let's go boys."

After I got the arm bands on and opened the map, we headed off. The park was quite big from what I could tell by the map. We had entered in at the bottom, south entrance, which landed us in the African Savanna.

"Wow! What's that?"

"What's what, Kyle?"

"The one with the long neck and orange everywhere. I didn't know they had orange animals."

"That's a giraffe and there are animals in every color you could imagine."

"Every color, Bella?" Kevin gasped as he looked up at me.

"Yes," I laughed a little, sweetly. "every color."

We slowly made our way around the zoo to the right. Everyone always seemed to go to the left. Mostly, people are right handed, which might account for everyone unknowingly always moving around things left to right, but no one was writing and I just felt like being different. But then again, Kevin wanting to go that way so we could see the elephants could have had something to do with that.

"Bella, look. You were right. Those birds are pink."

"Those are flamingos."

"Flamingos? That's a funny name for a bird." I laughed.

"I suppose it is," I said laughing. Kevin had a point, it was a strange name.

"Why do they stand like that? On one leg."

"Hmmm, I don't know. Let's see if this information booth can tell us." I read over it quickly then read what it said to the boys.

"I don't think they know what they're talking about," Kyle said crossing his arms.

"And how would a little boy, like yourself, know what would sound right?" An older woman nearly sneered as her…granddaughter looked up at her as she was explaining the same thing to her, now wondering if her grandmother was right.

"Because, it sounds like they're speculating," Kevin jumped in to defend his brother.

"Now, Kevin, that wasn't nice. Apologize."

"Sorry that they're speculating." I almost laughed. It was speculation and there was no sure fire way to know; to be a hundred percent sure unless they could get the flamingos to speak.

The woman looked pointedly at them as I brought them closer to me and glared at her. She turned quickly and led her granddaughter and other grandchild, that I hadn't seen, off away from us.

"The nerve of her."

"That was a pretty big word, for such a little boy don't you think?" Someone whispered to me from behind. I turned around quickly.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you, but I overheard. They seem pretty smart for…four, five?"

"Overheard or eavesdropped? And yes they are very intelligent for four years of age."

"Okay, maybe I was listening a little hard. But can you blame me?"

"What's that sup-"

"Mommy, I want to see the elephants now, please."

"Alright Kevin, let's go. Goodbye," I said to the man as Kevin and Kyle tried to drag _me_ away.

"Wait, do you mind if I come along? My sister and I, that is. My name is Peter," he said as a little girl popped up out of nowhere.

"No."

"Kyle," I scolded. "I'm sorry."

"It's alright. Boys will be boys. Isn't that right?" He said as he tried to mush Kevin's hair, but he swatted at his arm and hugged me tighter.

"When does daddy come? He needs to hurry up, mommy."

"Yeah, he's going to miss everything," Kyle added.

Those sly little boys. I knew exactly what they were doing and I can't say I'm not glad. The guy was getting a little too close for comfort. He was listening to us and now he wanted to tag along, I don't think so. I just hoped that the boys didn't get the wrong idea if I went along with this.

"I'm sorry, we must be going," I said as I let the boys lead me away. Thankful to be gone.

**Kyle's POV**

After that batty old woman left, Kevin and I went back to looking at those funny named birds. They were huge and I wondered how they stood on those skinny legs all day. It had to be tiring.

Kevin and I started to bring our legs up like them, but we kept falling over every time. I fell on my knee, but didn't scratch it. That would have been bad. If I did, we'd have to go home and we couldn't see anymore animals or the fish.

"Look," Kevin said tapping me one the shoulder.

I looked behind us and there was a man talking to Bella. He was leaning in close and smiling at her. I didn't like the way he smiled; Bella was ours and not his. She belonged to our daddy and not him.

Bella had told that girl's mommy and daddy that she was our mommy and me and Kevin were so happy. We wanted Bella to be our mommy and the man was going to mess that up if he kept talking to her.

**Bella's POV**

Kevin finally got to see his elephants and a few other animals in the Asian Rain Forest. We finally made our way to the orangutans and the boys were in awe at the size of them. They didn't do much; a few were walking around, but mostly they were just sitting or sleeping and Kyle got board.

As we started back down toward the south entrance after seeing the Conservation Yards, Northern Trail, and Australasia, I saw a sign for Zoomazium that I had read about online and took them inside.

They played in the Grasslands, Mountain Plains, and the Forest pretending they were animals in the wild. They were roaring and rolling around with the other kids as the hopped and jumped around the play area. They climbed trees and hid inside the mountain like cave people.

This was my favorite part for them. They were able to have fun and learn something at the same time. Tanya and her parents were there as well. While the children played, we talked and traded phone numbers so they could have a play date, since they got along so well.

When we got to the reptile house, I was completely creeped out. I never liked snakes or any of those scaly creatures, though the boys seemed to love them. They tried to get me to look at them, but I just turned my head as we made our way around. The Only thing that interested me was the giant turtle they had.

"Bella, what's that?"

"That looks like a Kimono Dragon"

"That doesn't look like Puff." I could only laugh at that. No matter how smart they were, they were just children and had the minds, more or less, mostly less, of children.

As we finished up the rest of the zoo, I took the boys into the gift shop to get them something. The boys ran off to the kids' toy area as I looked around. They had a lot of stuff in here, more than I would have thought. I picked up a Kangaroo for Alice, a Grizzly Bear for Emmett and African Lion for Edward.

Alice and Emmett would be upset with me if I didn't bring them back something once they found out I went to the zoo without them. Sometimes, those two are more childish than Kevin and Kyle.

"Ma'am, can I help you find anything?"

"No, I think I'm good here. Just waiting on these two. Boys, did you find anything?"

"I don't know."

"Ma'am, we have this great program where you can be a ZooParents and adopt an animal."

_Hey there kiddo…_

"Excuse me?" I said turning around quickly.

"I asked if you would like to adopt an animal in our ZooParents program," the boy no older that eighteen said nervously.

"Sorry. What's that?" I asked as the boys came to stand beside me.

"Well, we have two packages; the fifty dollar package includes a Certificate of adoption, color photo of your animal fact sheet, ZooParent static window cling, and a Woodland Park Zoo folder. The second package is one hundred dollars and it includes the same as the other, but you also get an adorable plush of your animal if we have it available, your name on the ZooParent sign at Woodland Park Zoo and two individual Woodland Park Zoo passes. All the money goes directly to supporting the animals."

"Boys would you like to be ZooParents? You get to pick the animal."

"I want to adopt a gorilla. Do you have that one?" Kyle asked hurriedly.

"Can I get an elephant?"

"We have those both. Which package would you like?"

"The second package for both, please."

After the boys had there bags, and I had mine, we made our way back to the car. The boys were pretty tuckered out and I asked them if they wanted to go home, but the both screamed at the top of their lungs they wanted to see the fish. I couldn't help but laugh as they went from exhausted to energized in a matter of seconds.

The boys were starting to get hungry, since they hadn't eaten since breakfast. They didn't want to stop for anything at the zoo, they were so excited. I was going to get them chicken nuggets, but they wanted sandwiches, so I stopped at the nearest grocery store and picked up some sandwich stuff and made sandwiches in the car.

By the time we got to the aquarium, it was nearly two. We were making good time, but we would probably get caught in the in the closing traffic leaving at five.

The boys unbuckled themselves and I help them out just as my phone started to ring.

"Hello?"

"Bella, hey. Where are you? Are you having fun?"

"We're having great fun. We just got to the aquarium, walking to the entrance actually. How's work?"

"Work was good."

"Was?"

"I got off early. Thought I'd join the three of you for the rest."

"Great! They will be so happy. I'll get the tickets and meet you at the stairs."

"Now, Bella, I let you slide with that stunt earlier, let's not go through this again."

"Well," I said smirking, "you're not going to be able to do much about that since I'm here now and your not."

"Oh, I wouldn't say that," Edward replied teasingly

"Why wouldn't I?"

"Because," he whispered in my ear and I jumped, "I already have the tickets." He finished as he wrapped one arm around me to hold me in place as the other was in front of me holding four tickets.

*** * *RMF* * ***

_**Thanks Charley  
**__**Thanks cherrytone, for beta-ing!  
**__**Thanks a million sparkling orange helicopter blades! **_


	24. Becoming One

_**Onward with the read.**_

_14 June, continued…_

**Edwards' POV**

Bella nearly jumped out of her skin as I whispered in her ear. I had been here for about fifteen minutes when I saw her truck drive past the entrance as she looked for parking.

It was pretty crowded with tomorrow being Father's Day, but when I realized they really didn't need me for this rehearsal, I called in a favor and had the tickets waiting for me when I got here.

"Daddy!" the boys yelled as they attacked me.

"You're here!" Kevin said as I picked him up.

"Well of course I'm here. I want to see fish too."

"How did you get those tickets? How long have you been here?"

"No need to worry, love. I have a few extra cards up my sleeve." Bella stiffened a little at the _pet_ name I had for her, but she relaxed quickly and glared at me for the last part.

"Come on." As we entered, the boys were utterly fascinated with a giant wall that had nothing in it but fish of every color.

"Bella, do fish come in every color too?"

"They sure do. See that one," Bella said as she stooped down and wrapped one arm around Kyle as she pointed, "that one's a pretty silver and blue color."

"Oh. Yeah it is and that one over there has a lot of colors too. I didn't know they could have more than one color. Daddy look, it has lots of colors."

"Yeah, it does."

"Which one? I want to see it too," Kevin said moving in front of me. I pointed to the one Kyle saw and he gasped as it swam higher up the wall.

"Here," I said as I picked him up, so he could see.

"Wow. There are a lot of fish in there. It's pretty."

"Alright boys, let's let some other people see."

"Which way do you want to go? Straight across or to the left?"

"Well, we went to the right at the zoo, so technically that would be straight, so let's go left," Bella said as she started to walk. Bella never ceased to amaze me with the way she thought. She had a reason for everything, sometimes ridiculous, but it was a reason nonetheless.

"What's next?"

"Life on the Edge. Touch Pool and the Tide pools."

"Look, it's filled with all that water and those things in it. They look really squishy," Kyle explained.

"Those are sea anemones."

"Anaommies?" I laughed as did Bella.

"Close enough I guess."

"Boys look, it's a clownfish."

"Bella, it's cool looking, but it doesn't look like any clown I ever saw." Bella just looked at Kevin and smirked, there was nothing we could say to that. The boys were too smart for there own good. There was always something with them.

"Hello, I'm Joel," a young kid said, "how would you guys like to touch some of the sea life?" he asked looking at Bella and not the boys.

"Can we?" Kyle asked.

"Sure," I said stepping up behind Bella and pulling her and the boys over to the Touch Pool. That kid had the nerve to smile at me too. He wasn't really a kid, maybe the same age as Bella, but I still didn't like him.

"That one looks like a star."

"That's called a starfish, Kyle. Stick your hand in there and touch it."

"Is it going to bite?"

"No, it won't bite you," Bella said gently as she held Kyle close to her, protectively, as he hesitantly reached his hand in. When Kevin saw that it was okay, he grabbed my hand and stuck his other one in there and started to feel all that there was.

"You sure know your fish don't you?"

"Well, that one was kind of a gimmie."

"Look at that one. It's like a star fish, but it has more…legs?"

"They don't have legs," Bella laughed as she hugged Kyle closer.

"Then what do they have if they don't have legs? How do they get around?" Kevin asked looking at Bella.

Bella squatted down between them so she was at their level and wrapped her arms around them as they stuck their hands back in to feel the fish again.

"They have arms. That's what each of the little limbs are called. And under the bottom, all those prickly parts that tickle you," she said tickling their sides a little as they screamed in delight, "those are their feet. They have hundreds of them that are sometimes called podia and that's how they move, but very slowly."

"Hundreds?" Kevin and Kyle asked stunned. I was just as shocked as they were. Not many people knew a lot about starfish or just random things in general, but Bella was no regular Joe. I really should have expected her to know something like this, but then again, she was always shocking me.

"Hundreds."

"See, you do know your fish and fish facts. Very smart, I could tell right off," Joel said as he glanced at me. I was going to have a problem with him I could tell. He knew he was pissing me off by flirting with Bella in front of me, which she seemed to be completely oblivious too. We weren't _actually _together, but it was in the works.

Further more, we were together and appeared to be a family. Taking the kids to see the fish. True, she had no ring, but there were plenty of married women without wedding rings. This _Joel_ didn't care about that. He just wanted to get a rise out of me and it was working, but I had to keep my temper around the boys, but if we were alone…

Clearly, Bella is making me crazy.

"Well, if you really want to know something, they're not really fish. They have no brains and no sensory organs or spines, which fish do have. Besides, I like to read a lot and I kind of had this thing for starfish growing up. I always thought they were kind of creepy, but I loved them."

"Here, touch the Sunflower Starfish," he said reaching for Bella's hand.

"No. That one creeps me out the most. I'll pass. Edward, why don't you touch it."

"How about I touch it with you," I said slowly moving behind her. I knew we weren't a couple exactly, but this kid was getting on my last nerve and it was time to put an end to it. I wrapped one hand around Bella's waist and held her right hand in mine as I brought it into the water.

Bella jerked her hand back as soon as it touched the water and started to laugh, "This is silly; being scared of a Starfish." I held her hand again, rubbing my thumb in slow circles and I felt her body relax into mine. I slowly brought her hand back to the water. I pulled her closer to the fish and as soon as her hand touched it, she jerked it back again with a squeal and turned her head into my chest as she laughed.

I couldn't help but laugh as I rubbed her back. She glared at me for laughing, but I didn't feel too bad about it, as she was laughing too.

"You are going to pay for that, Agent Cullen."

"Back to that now are we?"

"If the shoe fits," she snickered.

"They have a giant octopus! Can we see it?"

"Yes, Kyle, come on you two, let's go see if he wants lunch."

"Lunch?" they both asked confused. "Are we going to feed it?" Kevin finished.

"Well, I do have my too favorite snacks with me. Maybe it likes the same thing," Bella teased as the boys screamed and ran.

I laughed. "Bella, you know that was so mean," I said as I put my arm around her. I was happy that she didn't move or stiffen, but instead wrapped hers around me. I glanced back at Joel as he stood there talking to another family, frowning that I had won his little game and Bella never gave him another thought.

I was thoroughly pleased.

"Ewww. What are those?" the boys asked as we got to The Wet table

"Plankton," I told them. The boys just looked at each other with a gleam in there eyes that I didn't get. Bella buried her head in my chest and I could tell she was trying not to laugh. I didn't get it.

Then it started.

"Are you ready kids?" Kyle started.

"Aye-Aye Captain!" Kevin yelled his part.

"I can't hear you…"

"Aye-Aye Captain!" Kevin called louder as Bella was now laughing harder as people started to look.

"Bella this has to stop." She just grabbed my sides as she continued to laugh at my expense.

"Oh! Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?"

"SpongeBob SquarePants!"

"Absorbent and yellow and porous is he!"

"SpongeBob SquarePants!" Oh, this was beyond ridiculous now. All the other kids near by were now joining in and singing along with them. And now, Bella was in full-blown hysterics as I held most of her weight. Every time she controlled herself long enough to look at me, she would start laughing again at the look on my face.

"If nautical nonsense be something you wish." Kyle shouted.

"SpongeBob SquarePants!"

"Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish!" Bella joined in loudly as she gathered them in a circle and danced around as the other parents cheered on at their precious children having funny together.

'SpongeBob SquarePants!"

"Ready?"

"SpongeBob SquarePants! SpongeBob SquarePants! SpongeBob SquarePants! SpongeBob… SquarePants! Haha!"

This was a SpongeBob nightmare.

"Edward, cheer up." I just continued to sulk after hearing that wretched song. It was bad enough I couldn't get the boys to stop listening to it, but here? Did I really have to endure that ridiculous song here?

"Come on Edward," Bella said as she hugged me, but I didn't hug her back. The laughing I could have dealt with, but not her joining in; singing and dancing with them.

"Bella." A woman with short blond hair that didn't come past her ears called.

"Susan, Robert."

"Bella, that was wonderful. I didn't think we would see you here," commented Susan.

"Yeah. We were making sort of a one day trip out of it," Bella replied happily, "This is Edward. Edward, the boys made friends with Tanya; the little girl over there with the pigtails," she pointed back to The Wet Table, "while we were in line at the zoo and these are her parents, Robert and Susan McGreggor."

"Nice to meet you both," I said shaking there hands.

"You have to excuse him, he hates SpongeBob and the fact that I joined in just burns him to the core, but it was his own fault."

"How was that my own fault?"

"Plankton."

"So?" I continued to sulk. I knew it was childish and Robert and Susan were here now, but I really detested that show.

"As much as the boys watch that, you should know the character Plankton."

"That green thing with the attitude? You have to be kidding me."

"Like I said; your fault."

"He opened the door and they walked right in," Susan cut in as she and Bella laughed, "don't feel bad Edward, Tanya loves that show and Robby over here hates it as much as she loves it."

"Don't worry; you can do just what I'm going to do. Block that show, so when it comes on, they can't watch it."

"Great idea. Why didn't I think of that?"

"Because you will do no such thing, Edward."

"Same goes here, and she has them on DVD so don't bother."

"But, Sue, she watches it _all_ the time."

"Oh, grow up. She's going to grow out of it in a couple years. You're hardly around when she watches it anyway; she watches it in her room," Susan said rolling her eyes as Bella laughed. The two linked arms and made their way over to the children as Robert and I hung back a little.

"Women."

"Don't even get me started. She is constantly getting to me about one thing or another, but I love her."

"I heard that, but I love you too." I laughed.

"I swear sometimes they have dog ears."

"You think that's bad. My little sister has those _species_ related ears, plus, she seems to know the future. Always knows what's going to happen before it does."

"You're joking? Has to be womens intuition."

"No. We just thought she was good at reading people when we were younger, my brother and I, but she really does seem to know stuff. She's always talking in riddles or being overly cryptic. Bella knows; they've been best friends since they were born."

"So how long have you two been married?" did we really look married? "Your boys have your eyes and hair color, not hard to miss, but they look a lot like her everywhere else."

"You really think so?"

"That's not too hard miss either." I pondered what he said as we met up with everyone else under the Ring of Life.

Did Bella and I really look like a married couple? Is that how we acted. I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, if she would have me, but I never really thought about it in terms of marriage, literally, really. I would give anything to have Bella that way, but I knew it would take time for us to get to that stage. There was something about the _us_-factor that bothered her.

It was as if she didn't trust me or herself maybe. I didn't really know what it was that bothered her so much, but I was ready and willing to wait for her. To do whatever it takes to get her to love and trust me the way I did her.

My parents had a special kind of love; a love that was rare. Kind and patient. Powerful yet gentle. They loved each other completely and there was nothing that could break that kind of love. That was mostly the reason I never really wanted to date or just be with anyone. I wanted to find the _one_ the way my father did.

He told me he knew mom was the one when he first met her and I always wanted what he had with her. I know I've found that with Bella, but whatever kept her at arms length, was stopping her from seeing that we were perfect for each other. Seeing that we were designed for each other. That no one else could ever make us as happy as we make each other.

She would, one day, allow me to love her the way I was meant to. I would see to that. She was my other half.

"What are those?"

"Moon Jellies," I answered.

"Moon Jellies? Is it because they glow like the moon? Why are they called Moon Jellies?" Tanya asked.

"I don't know honey." Susan said placing her hands on Tanya's shoulders.

"Bella?"

"What?" she asked to innocently.

"You should know."

"You know, just because I'm a book worm, doesn't mean I'm some sort of fishy encyclopedia," she huffed. I just raised an eyebrow, she sighed, "I don't know why they are called Moon Jellies. They are mostly called Jellyfish, though it's a different class of Jelly all together. They're not really fish either; their class name is Scy-phozoa or something. It comes from the Greek word skyphos meaning a type of drinking cup, because of their shape. And they are 94-98 water and deadly."

"Maybe your just an encyclopedia period," Robert snickered

"Funny," Bella huffed. I brought her into my arms as I tried to sooth her tense shoulders.

After we were done teasing Bella and the children were done looking at the Jellyfish, we made our way to the other side of the aquarium. We had all decided to take them to the Sea Otters and Seals first and then double back to the birds and then down to the Under Water Dome last before we left.

We spent the most time watching the sea otters that were still on the upper level as they played. They were quite entertaining and the kids couldn't get enough of them as they pretended to be otters themselves.

It felt nice to be out here, in the open, with Bella as she hugged me as we walked around. The boys were having fun and it was just nice, being a family like this, having an outing with the children was really wonderful. I knew Bella and I were a long way from where I wanted us to end up, now, but this was a great beginning.

Having Robert and Susan here was a plus as well. They were great people and Tanya seemed to get along nicely with the boys. Bella told me she and Susan traded numbers so the kids could play together, which was great, because the boys were never in daycare and hadn't started school yet so they didn't know any other children their age.

I never had any friends who had children. I didn't do any of those daddy daycare or fathers that are single parents or stay at home dad deals. I just wasn't into that sort of thing. They never had a chance to interact with other children really and now they had a friend.

Robert and I seemed to be becoming friends as well. He reminded me of Emmett a little. He didn't take too much to heart, but he was obviously a good father and a responsible man. It was comforting, I would say, to have another man to talk to about things. Emmett and Jasper weren't parents yet and it just wasn't the same with my dad. We were all grown and everything I got from him was advice. There was no one I knew who had young children.

"Can we get covered by fish now, daddy?"

"Sure kiddo," Robert replied as he picked up Tanya.

"Are you okay?" I asked Bella when she suddenly stopped walking. When she didn't answer me, I turned her to face me, "Bella, love, what is it?"

"Huh?" she said seeming to snap out of her trance, "Oh, nothing, I was just thinking about something. I suddenly just wondered if I remembered to put food out for Goober."

"Did you?" I asked playing along as we made our way to the lower level to the Under Water Dome. I could tell she wasn't being completely truthful with me. She was skilled at masking her feeling, that much I knew, but I could see the pain in her eyes.

"Yeah, I think I did. No matter anyway, he's a funny eater and sometimes only eats once a day," She laughed.

I wasn't anywhere near convinced that Bella was okay or believing her story, but I wasn't going to push it now. Something was bothering her and I wanted to know what it was, but she wasn't ready. But I would be hear when she was.

We walked around the dome and looked at all the fish as they all swam around; one not caring about the other. The boys and Tanya were right up at the glass as we _parents_ hung back and watched them.

"You think this place could ever cave in?"

"Susan," Robert said as he brought her into his arms.

"I certainly hope not."

"Don't worry, I'll protect you," I said heroically.

"Who are you? Scuba Steve?"

"Yup. Wait, who's Scuba Steve?"

"I think I'll take my chances," Bella laughed as Susan joined in.

"Are you serious man? Have you never seen Big Daddy? Adam Sandler?"

"He doesn't get out much. He's one of those 'It's all about the music' musicians. All tortured and lonely," Bella snickered as I pulled her against my chest.

"I'm not lonely."

"Just tortured then?" Susan asked, barely able to contain her giggles.

"No." Bella just laughed as she settled into my chest and rested her head on my shoulder.

"Looks like we are going to know each other into our elder years no matter what we do," Robert commented.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Bella, I thought we were becoming friends?" Susan play pouted. Bella just laughed and looked to where Robert nodded.

When the women started awing, I looked over to see Kevin holding Tanya's hand as he showed her a fish. My boy had his first crush and at four too. It was a little early for that, but I couldn't deny how cute they looked.

Bella slightly turned in my arms as she retrieved her camera from my pocket. She took several pictures, as did Susan, before they noticed we were staring at them.

"I see a wedding in the making," Susan sniffled.

"Just remember that it's on your tab," I replied back.

"I can see that," Robert said mockingly as Susan swatted her husband playfully.

"Wait, what? Why do I have to pay when your son is making the moves on my little girl?"

"Because you're the father of the bride. The brides family always pays for the wedding; dress, flowers, luncheon, engagement party, bridesmaid gifts, photography, basically, the wedding itself. And typically, the groom's family pays for the rehearsal dinner, honeymoon and any travel accommodations for the groom's side and the bride and groom's gift," Bella said casually as Susan smirked and Robert stood stunned.

"But that's just how tradition follows." Bella added.

"Well, I say we skip tradition."

"Maybe Edward can walk her down the isle or my brother can. Edward would you mind walking Tanya down the isle?" Susan Asked.

"Not at al-"

"That's my job."

"Tradition it is," Bella chimed in happily as she and Susan smiled pleased with themselves.

*** * *RMF* * ***

_**Photos for this chapter are posted on my website. You can access it from my profile page.**_

_**Thanks Charley**_

_**Thanks cherrytone, for beta-ing!**_

_**Thanks a million orange summer dresses! **_


	25. Baby Steps

_**Onward with the read! **_

_15 June Father's day…_

I was spending the day with my family at my parent's house, as we did every year for Father's Day and I had a long drive ahead of me, but that didn't matter apparently. It was two o'clock in the morning and I couldn't sleep no matter what I did. All I could do was think about that day I had with Bella and the boys.

I started out the day at work, but the conductor, being the scatter-brain he is, decided to switch musical pieces at the last minute. Which never made the house manager unhappy, because flyers and programs were printed and now he had to change them; yet again. He told everyone to take a couple hours while he masterfully put together a two hour piece in two or three hours.

That was not an easy feat, but he was a genius and like many geniuses, his mind worked differently from everyone else. Because I could play by ear after hearing a piece and pretty much have it perfect after one run through, he allowed me to take the rest of the day off.

I was more than gratefully to be with Bella and the boys and it turned out to be a wonderful day. I couldn't imagine the day going any better than it did. The boys had fun and made their first childhood friend with Tanya, Bella and I made friends with her parents. All in all the day way as close to perfect as you could get.

Robert thought the boys looked a lot like Bella; I had never really thought about it before, but after he mentioned it, I couldn't help but see the resemblance between them. The boys truly were, nearly, the spitting image of her aside from their green eyes and auburn hair. Looking at us together, you would never know that they weren't her children biologically, but that didn't matter, because she _was_ their mother. I hadn't realized until today how much I really depended on Bella in our lives and wanted her to be in it.

Bella was the center of our family.

I continued to think about the day as I tried to will my mind to stop thinking about Bella, but I was brought out of my reverie by the boys' screaming. The boys were never the type of children to have nightmares or wake up a million times throughout the night for this or that and their screaming scared me to no end.

I jumped out of bed and raced to the room they shared. My mind was swirling with all sorts of thoughts as I tried to figure out what could have happened. When I stepped into the room, they were both in the same bed crying. When I put them to bed last night, I put them in their own beds, but I knew they would sometimes get up and sleep together.

"Mommy! Mommy!" they both cried.

"Kevin, Kyle, I'm here. It's okay." I tried to soothe them, but they kept crying into my chest as I cradled them. Their faces were drenched in tears and flushed from crying.

"Boys, I'm here, everything is okay now," I continued, "what's wrong? Did you have bad dreams?" I knew that specialist or whoever said that twins have special connections, but I never experienced it before with my boys. They both appeared to be equally scared and both started screaming at the same time.

"Mommy. I want mommy." Kevin whimpered out.

"Mommy, where is she?" Kyle asked as he wrapped his arms as tight as he could around me.

Mommy? They were both crying for their mommy. I didn't know what I was supposed to do with that request or how to respond to it. The boys had never asked about their mother or why they didn't have one. I never felt a need to say anything about her either until they were older since they never asked.

I assumed that they must have been talking about Bella, but why now. They had spent a lot of time with her and they never referred to her as their mother and never wanted her like this. The only thing I could think to do was call her. The boys weren't calming down and they just kept crying out for their mommy.

I picked both of them up and carried them to my room. I sat on the bed, them in my lap and dialed Bella's house number. Bella said she never really answered her house phone and I know she usually kept her cellular on vibrate, so I could only hope that she would answer it today.

"Hello?"

"Bella, it's Edward, I'm sorry to wake you so ear-"

"Edward is fine. I wasn't sleep, what's wrong? You don't sound okay. Is that the boys I hear? What happened?" she rambled out quickly. I could tell she was beginning to worry.

"I don't know. The boys just woke up scream for…you I guess. They kept saying they wanted their mommy. They have never said that before and I could only think to call you."

"Mommy, I want to talk to mommy." Kevin pleaded as he reached for the phone.

I gave Kevin the phone; he and Kyle both put their ears up to the receiver, "Mommy," they breathed. After a few minutes, their cries had died down to sniffles and soon they were giggling into the phone with no signs of their recent outbursts.

I couldn't hear anything that Bella said to them. I only knew what their responses were; which didn't tell me a whole lot about the conversation from this side. The boys were talking animatedly, at the same time, to Bella and I was amazed at her ability to calm them and have them laughing.

After about fifteen minutes, the boys hand the phone back to me a jumped out the bad at full speed.

"Where are they going to quick? What did you say to them?"

"Everything I said to them is for me to know and not you."

"Isn't it supposed to be for me to find out?"

"Not this time Eddie. They went to get the Rainbow Fish book we bought them at the aquarium. You're going to put the phone on speaker while I read to them and they will look at he pictures from their book."

"How are you going to read it to them? Do you know it by heart or something?" I asked perplexed. I didn't know how she was going to read to them is I had the book we bought.

"Or something. I went through some boxes when I got home and forgot that I had the same book from there went I went years ago. So I'll read and you flip."

When the boys came back with the book, I placed them on either side of me and held the book as Bella read through the phone. By the time she finished reading the book, the boys were fast asleep, peacefully. I slowly crept out of bed and walked down stairs to talk to Bella.

"I don't know how to thank you."

"There is no need for thanks."

"I called you at two in the morning with my problem." I knew Bella loved them, but it wasn't her responsibility to look after the boys that way.

"I told you already, I wasn't sleep. I have no problem with you calling me. Call me anytime. I would rather you call me than to have to worry and try to fix it by yourself if there is a chance I can help."

"You should go to bed; you have a long drive today." Bella said a little after three. We had stayed on the phone and talked for a while since I couldn't sleep.

I didn't know how she knew I was driving to Forks today, I didn't remember her asking me about it, but I guess it was a given.

The ride to my parents' house was the longest it had ever been. The boys were sleep in the back seat and I had nothing to keep me company except my music. I loved listening to it; the notes flowed out over me in soothing motions as the violin chords that joined in and combined to make it almost enchanting melody. But today, it wasn't doing very much for my piece of mind.

Again, I was thinking about Bella. That seemed to be all I could do these days. Bella was apart of me in everyway possible. I breathed her in as if she were the air in needed. She was everything to me.

I had tried calling her when I left the house and after I was well on my way to Forks, but she never picked up. I tried her house phone, but there was no answer there either. I was starting to panic when I couldn't get an answer, but I made myself calm down and relax a little. She might have been sleep or just busy. I wasn't keeping tabs on her, so it's not like I _needed_ to know why she wasn't answering my calls.

But it would make me feel better to hear her voice.

"Boys, wake up. We're here." I said as I parked in front of my parents' house in the gravel driveway. I boys groaned a little when I started to unbuckle their seats.

"Daddy, when does Bella come?" Kyle asked. That was a good question. I didn't ask Bella this morning when or if we would see her today. It had only occurred to me now, that Bella was just as much apart of this family as I was.

I had the feeling we probably wouldn't see her, because I had never saw her here for any holiday. I knew she didn't have any other family, except her mother I think, but I didn't know where she was or what she was doing.

"I don't know boys," I answered, as I stepped into the house. I could hear Emmett's boisterous laugh coming from the back of the house.

"Dad! Mom!" I yelled as we made our way to the sitting room off the kitchen.

"Grandpa! Happy Father's Day." The boy chanted.

"Kevin. Kyle. Thank you. It will be a happy one now that you're here." Dad laughed hugging the boys before sitting them on the counter.

"Hey, I thought I made your day brighter."

"You do make my day, Emmett. Brighter's just not the…sentiment I'd use."

"Face it bro, you yesterdays news." I replied as everyone laughed.

"When did you start throwing out punch lines? You're no fun in a good mood." Emmett pouted. I just patted him on the shoulder, "Nice shirt by the way," I finished and moved to give dad a manly hug.

"You suck, Edward."

"Happy Father's Day, dad."

"Thank you, Edward."

"Mom." I said, kissing her cheek and hugging her from behind.

"Edward, how are you dear?" she asked patting my cheek.

"Great."

"Well someone's in a good mood." Rose commented.

"Ouch, Rosie. What was that for?"

"That was your queue to say something stupid and I thought we could by pass the comment and go straight for the rebuttal before you had a chance."

"What's for breakfast?" Emmett asked.

"Don't you ever think about anything else other than food Emmett?"

"Yeah, sometimes I think about…uh, lawn work."

"Uncle Em, why would you be thinking about lawn work? You live were you don't have a lawn or even a yard. Do you want a lawn now?" Kevin asked as he looked pointedly at him. Everyone had to work very hard not to laugh, but there were still a few snickers to be had.

"Well, Emmett? Have you and Rose been looking for a change of pace? Trying something new?" mom asked with a smirk.

"Umm, well…here's the thing…"

"Uncle Em, you don't sound to sure about liking lawns. Maybe you shouldn't be thinking about those if you're not sure what you like."

No one could help it. We all started to laugh at the unintended double meaning of what Kyle said. Emmett's face was the reddest I had ever seen it. I could see the wheels turning in his head as he tried to figure out how he got himself into this situation.

Only Emmett.

"Well son, I think you need to try and find other ways to occupy your…mind I'll say." Dad snickered out.

"Dad."

"Hey Alice," I said as I draped my arm over her shoulders.

"Hello, Edward. How is it that I can help you on this fine day?

"I can't just hug my little sister and see how she's doing?"

"No."

"Well, in that case, could I talk to you?" Alice simply rose from her seat an exited, heading to the hallway. No one noticed us leave, because they were still arguing about Emmett.

"So what do you want to know?" Alice asked, but I had a feeling she already knew what I wanted.

"Is-" she cut me off.

"How many times have you called her?" I was about to say who, but Alice gave me the look and I sighed.

"Three."

"Since?"

"Just before we left."

"So you've called her three times in the last hour and a half then?" I nodded, "Don't call her anymore."

"Why? Is she sleeping?"

"No she's not sleep and she won't pick up her phone no matter how many times you call her. She probably doesn't have it with her. As for the why, that's something you have to talk to her about when she's ready. It's not my place to say anything and I'm already on thin ice with her after not telling her that you were my brother."

"I thought you two were okay now? She was talking about you yesterday and she seemed fine."

"Bella is," Alice paused and sighed heavy, "_well_ practiced at concealing her true feelings. We may be okay in the general sense of the word, but she's very pissed and hurt by what happened and no, I will not give you the finer details of it. Again, when she is ready she will talk to you about it, but let her come to you."

"Will she be here today?"

"I don't know. I really don't. If she were ever to show up, today would be the day, but I'm not going to make you any promises." I could see that Alice was having some sort of internal battle; it scared me to see her so unsure of herself. Out of everyone in the family, she was always the one that was most balanced next to dad; in her own way at least.

Now she was torn between what she wanted to do and what she knew she shouldn't maybe shouldn't do, but couldn't. I had never seen Alice look so fragile or irresolute before. It was unnerving to know that she could get that way. That my bubbly, bossy, talkative always jovial little sister could be so…unconfident and nervous about something and that some_one_ was Bella.

I hugged her. I just wrapped my arms around her and comforted her. At that moment, I realized that this was the first time that I hugged Alice in years. I couldn't believe the distance that I had from my family, though I saw them often. I now truly, more than before, understand what mom meant when she said that I had been here, but not here.

I was too busy with everything in my life, that I didn't realize how I alienated them emotionally,

"Alice? What's wrong?" Jasper asked nervously as he rushed to her.

"I'm sorry, Jasper. I'm not sure what happened." I said backing away so Jasper could talk to her.

"Jasper, it's okay, really. Nothing happened, it's not his fault, it's no ones really and that's the problem." Alice said in Jasper's embrace.

"You were talking abo-" That's the last I heard as I walked back to the kitchen.

"Edward, dear, you missed most of the food. Your brother decided not to save you any," mom said as she glared at Emmett, "but I'll make you something." She said getting up.

"No mom," I said placing my hands on her shoulders," I wasn't very hungry anyway, but if I get hungry, I'll make myself something." I kissed the top of her head and sat down just as Jasper reentered with a buoyant Alice.

"Gifts!" Alice exclaimed.

"Alright, if you insist, but I'm an old man and I told all of you not to get me anything. Just having you home is gift enough for me."

"Dear, if your old, then that makes me old."

"You'll never be anything more that gorgeous in my eyes." Dad said as he kissed mom as they walked in.

"Dude, guys, my eyes. I'm blind."

"As much as you make out with my sister? Do you think your parents or myself want to see that?"

"It's rhetorical Emmett." I cut in just as he was about to answer.

"How about we let your father open his gifts before you start the fighting."

"Boys!" I yelled. After a minute the boys came running into the room and flopped down on the floor at my feet.

"Alright, whose first?"

"Me." Emmett called as he handed dad two boxes.

"We had it restored for you. We know how much it meant to granddad and you." Emmett said as dad looked at the antique cross that he said he missed placed a couple months ago.

"Thank you, Rose, Emmett. This means al lot. Now what do we have here?" dad said opening the other box. He pulled out a tie that had a collage of all of us on it.

"I'll wear this on my next shift at the hospital. They always love to see what my little ones give me." Dad said and mom playfully slapped his arm.

"Us next grandpa." Kyle demanded as he handed him the bag they both picked out. Dad pulled out a throw that had a verse on it that the boys couldn't live without getting for him.

"Boys, I love this."

"I have a frame just that size that we can put it in and hand it on the wall in the study."

"Thanks, grandma." Mom smiled.

Gifts kept on like this with mom giving dad a plaque that describe what they meant to each other, and her gag gift which was a pen set in a see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil and not evil monkey holder. From jasper he got the Doctor's Hippocratic Oath set in a dark cherry wood frame. And last was Alice, as usual.

"Here dad."

"Alice, it wonderful, thank you."

"I know. Now you can stop wearing that old ratty one you have on." Alice said turning her nose up.

"You gave me this ratty watch when you were eight, thank you."

"Well that was fourteen years ago, time to upgrade you."

"Well I love it and it has a leather band just the way I like it." Dad commented taking the watch out to examine it.

"I wish you would let me get you one that slips on, but since you won't," she said pointedly, "I got you the best there is."

"Alice, is this diamond incrusted? How much did you spend on me?"

"There is no price when it comes to my daddy."

"You still didn't answer the question."

"I know." dad just chuckled and hugged her. There was no point arguing with her. Alice loved to shop and she was going to shop for the best every time.

It was my turn and I was determined to get through it quickly.

"I know how much you like to have you music. It plays the radio, MP3s, Cds, you name it." Emmett said as I set aside the very nice shower radio.

"I have a one time only, free car tune up for you."

"Rose, you always tune up my car. Nobody else touches it."

"I know, but this will be a different kind of tune up. I won't tell you what, but I promise you like the changes."

"Edward, these have been in the family since you grandmother started them," she said as I unwrapped the box. Inside, there were several squares with color hand prints on them, "the two on the top are the boys' hands, the green next to the blue is you and Carlisle from when you were five, and the last is Carlisle and his father's hands from when he was five."

"Thank you mom, dad. I will hang these right away."

"Daddy, do you want to open ours?" Kevin asked getting into my lap as Kyle stood with a box in his hands.

"Love to." When I open the box, what I saw was not what I had expected to see. It was a pair of platinum cuff links. Each link had a picture of the boys and me in it.

"This on is me and you and that one is you and Kevin, remember."

"We wanted you to be able to take up with you to work; now you can. They go at the end of your shirt arm, you know."

"Yes, I know. thank you boys." I was a little chocked up to say the least. I had always felt bad about leaving the boys at night. They had my parents and everyone else, but I guess I felt bad because they didn't have a mother and I was all they had and I had to leave them. They were always in more than capable hands, but my I still felt guilty.

I looked up at my family and they knew I was silently asking who had taken the boys to get these, but they all shook their heads. I watched Alice closely, because this was just the type of thing she would talk the boys into, but she assured me it wasn't her. There was no one else that could have done this except…Bella?

Would Bella buy these? Would she go through all this trouble to give me something like this?

"Here Edward." Alice said pulling me from my thoughts and shoving an envelope in my face.

"Thanks Alice." I said.

"What did she get you, daddy?"

"A one year's membership to a man-spa." Alice chirped happily.

"Dude, you're going to a man-spa. That's so funny."

"What, Jasper has one. There's nothing wrong with a man going to a male appropriate spa."

"Dude, she has you going to one too. You are so whipped." Emmett boomed.

"Emmett, Alice got you one as well."

"But, Rosie, I'm no dad."

"It's not for Father's Day; it's just for you, for no reason." Alice added.

"Emmett, dear, it can't be that bad."

"Mom, make her take it back."

"See who has the last laugh now." Jasper snickered.

The rest of the day pretty much went by with us reminiscing on past Father's Days and holidays. There was a lot of teasing; mostly Emmett's doing, which only got him into trouble as usual.

When it was close to dinner time, I got up and went into the kitchen to see if mom needed any help as she prepared dad's favorite; roast with carrots, potatoes and asparagus. But when I got to the kitchen, mom and dad were in the hallway talking. I didn't mean to listen, at first, but when I heard them say Bella's name, I could restrain myself.

I had done nothing, but think about her all day and wonder if she was okay. Alice had assured me she was fine, but I wouldn't be satisfied until I heard it from her.

'_I haven't heard from her in a couple of days. Do you think some thing's wrong?'_

'_No, not exactly. She went to the zoo and aquarium yesterday or so the boys told me, but I usually get something from her every year delivered to the hospital, there was nothing this year.'_

'_Hasn't she been sending something since-'_

'_Yes, but this year nothing. I'm not sure what it means and I haven't said anything to Alice and Emmett, you know how they can get. Especially Emmett, he'll run out of here and go after her.'_

'_He still won't say why. I don't push him on it. It broke my heart to see him that way, but he hasn't even told Alice after all this time. Nothing escapes Alice. Do you really thing she's okay?'_

'_Esme, dear, I didn't mean to scare you. I was just inquiring about it. I'm sure she's fine, just fine.'_

"Mom," I called as I tried to seem like I just walked in.

"Well thank you for interrupting. Esme, we'll finish this later," dad said winking at mom.

"Edward, dear, how are you?"

"Fine, mom. Do you need help?"

"Let's see, could you set the table for me?"

I got the plates, glasses, cups and silverware out and laid them down on the counter tops. "Make sure you have ten." Mom said as she pulled the roast out the oven to check it.

"Mom, why haven't I seen Bella since we were kids? Why weren't we ever close like Em and Alice?"

"When we could pull you away from your music, the two of you were actually very close as children. Then you got older, you stayed with your music, she stayed with her family or Alice. She moved away and when she came back, you were at music school."

"But, what about the last few years? We should have seen each other at some point. She and Emmett are still close, was she not at his wedding five years ago?"

"Bella," mom paused as she continued to check the food, "I'm not sure, but she has always," she paused again. "She's just one to keep to herself," she continued struggling for the right words. There was something going on, that I was sure of, and everybody here knew why Bella wasn't here and why I never saw her, but no one was going to tell me anything that could help me figure out why she was so distant.

"She was at the wedding, but she didn't stay long. Just about an hour into the reception. She, well, I suppose she has her reasons for leaving early."

"She and Rose don't really get along," I commented. The one time I saw them together, I could see that Rose was not too happy, but Bella seemed to be oblivious to it, "Why doesn't Rose like Bella? Did something happen?"

"No. But I suppose, maybe you should talk with Rosalie when the time is right."

I didn't press her for more. I could tell that she wasn't going to tell me anything. For some reason Rose didn't like Bella. Bella didn't care, and all this had something to do with why I never saw Bella here. Something that would make Alice sad and Emmett crazier than usual.

I couldn't fathom what could be so bad that it would affect everyone so much. Dad never worried about us. He was the picture of cool, but Bella not sending him a gift unnerved him.

No matter how hard I tried, I could help but to be curious about all this, but more so, I was worried. Worried about Bella and whatever was going on with her. Yesterday at the aquarium she got a little funny towards the end. She had a distant almost sad, longing look to her. She said she was fine, but like Alice said, she was good at covering up he feeling.

"Edward."

"Hey Jasper, what's up?"

"You shouldn't worry so much." I could only laugh. Jasper was the most sensitive out of the family and always very in tuned to others' feelings.

"You know, but your not going to tell me are you? Your just going to tell me that everything is fine and that I should talk to Bella."

"Actually, I wasn't going to tell you everything is going to be fine, because everything is not fine with Bella."

"What's that supposed to mean? You're starting to sound like Alice now." Jasper chuckled.

"Look, Bella's been through a lot and it's hard for her sometimes, so don't take it personal if she's a little distant. As for today, just hang back and play it cool.'

"Play what cool?"

"You'll know when you need to know."

"Alice is really starting to rub-" I stopped talking as I saw Emmett run from the back past us to the front very fast. Jasper and I looked down the hall as we went to the kitchen.

"Where is he going?" Jasper asked.

"His phone rang and he jumped up after read the message. He wouldn't let me see it." Rose said angrily.

"BELLA!" the boys shouted as they ran.

"Snack time!" Bella sad as she scooped up the boys.

"Bella, we missed you."

"We didn't think you were coming at all." Kevin said sadly.

"I'm sorry. I'll always come where you two are, okay?"

"'Kay." They said hugging her again.

"Bella, I'm glad you're here." Dad said as her brought Bella into a tight hug. I could see the emotion on his face as he pulled away to look at her as if he hadn't seen her in years.

"Happy Father's Day." He just smiled and hugged her again.

"I'm sorry I'm late, did I miss dinner?" Bella asked as she hugged my tearful mom.

"No, dear, you're just in time."

After everyone settled down, mom went back to fixing the food on platters and everyone else settled in the sitting room. I guess this is what Jasper meant when he told me to hang back. I all wanted to do was rush right to her, but I stayed put. She barely acknowledged me when she came in. I felt like I was in Rose's shoes. She new I was here, but she didn't make a big deal out of it.

I sad down in the love seat as everyone else took their seats. I expected Bella to sit with Kevin beside Alice, but instead as picked him up and sat down beside me and Kyle. It was the last thing I had expected her to do. As she settled back, she rested her head against my shoulder as we both sat there in silence and listened to Alice bicker with Emmett.

"Face it man, it didn't suit you."

"Emmett, kudos on the outfit. You're the only man I know that can wear of slacks, dress shoes and a 'I _heart_ My Daddy' T-shirt and get away with it." Bella snickered.

"Bella."

"Emmett."

"I know what you're going to say."

"I know you know what I'm going to say."

"I know you know I know you know what you're going to say."

"I know you know I know you know that I know what I'm going to say."

"I know you know I know you know that I know what I'm going to say."

"Actually Emmett, I never said I knew what you were going to say. I just know that you know what I was going to say and that wasn't it."

"Emmett, she gets you every time."

"Dad, she cheated."

"Emmett, stop being such a baby. She can't cheat doing that. You're just bad at it."

"Dinner."

Dinner of course was an event. It was always more than you bargained for, but this time it was different. Everyone, aside from Rose, seemed to be in higher spirits than I have seen them in a long time. Everyone was talking animatedly, Emmett was actually behaving and my parents looked close to tears every time I looked at them.

Bella was a force in this family. When she wasn't with of us, we were half of what we are. Incomplete. But when she was here, when we were all together, enjoying each others company, we were finally whole. A family.

Bella and I never actually spoke directly to one another since she's been here, but I could deal with that. She appeared to be happy, enjoying herself, and I would catch her looking at me from time to time. I never let on that I had caught her, because I didn't want her to stop. She was, in a way, acknowledging that I was here and I meant something, but she still hadn't spoke.

So long as she didn't shy away from me and stayed close, I would let her have whatever time she needed.

"Bella, what's in the boxes?" Kyle asked always the inquisitive.

"Something for daddy and grandpa."

"Daddy, grandpa, can you open your stuff so we can see what Bella got you." Kevin asked. I notice that neither one of the referred to Bella as mommy and I wondered why. Was it something she told them not to do or…?

"I'll go get them. Edward, could you help me with the big one?" she asked and I rose without a word and followed her out the room.

Bella walked slowly down the hall way. She starred straight ahead and didn't speak a word. The silence wasn't uncomfortable, but I wanted to say something, anything. It was killing me to not actually talk to her; have a conversation. She was showing me affection in subtle ways, but I wanted to touch her, hold her, and comfort her.

I wanted to hear what was on her mind. Know what she was thinking; what she was going through and help her. I hated not knowing what was going on with her, but I wouldn't push her. Jasper's word continued to ring in my head endlessly. Every time I thought I could make even the smallest gesture, too subtle too really be notice to get her to open up to me in anyway, the bells would go off telling me to _hang back._

And hang back is what I did.

"Edward." Bella called as I reached for the rather large box.

I turned to look at her but she didn't say anything. She just starred at me. There was an emotion in her eyes that I couldn't Identify, but it made me want to turn away from her with the intensity of it. But no matter how much I wanted to move, turn away or walk to her, I stayed where I was and starred back until she spoke.

She finally broke the gaze. Looking down. I continued to look at her. After a moment, she slowly walked the couple feet to me and hugged me. I didn't say a word as I hugged her back. She needed a hug, but more than that, she needed it from me. Perhaps it was because I was different from the others. I didn't know what she was going through and I could give her exactly what she needed the most.

A hug. One simple hug.

_* * *RMF* * *_

_**The photos to this are now up on my website. Even if I didn't use your idea, thank you to those who offered.**_

_**Charley**_

_**Thanks a million orange themed Father's Days!**_


	26. Nightmare Bonus Chpt

_**(I do de**__**clare, it is on the profile)**_

_Ummm, Oh! There is an awesome story that just started call __**'Then Came Rayne' **__It's Jacobs's story. __The URL to the story is on my profile and will be posted in my blog._

_Ready Made Family is being translated into Spanish, by __**Ginebra Brong**__. I always wanted my stories in another language and now it will be. So if you would like to check it out, the new account is: __**Orange Spirit**__…surprise, surprise. Chapter two is now posted. URL posted on my profile, as well as, my blog._

_**Onward with the read!**_

_15 June…continued…takes place that night after Bella leaves Esme's house to go home. The boys are in the bath…__**Kevin/**__Kyle. They boys and Edward are still at Esme & Carlisle's house. They are spending the night, but Bella has to leave, because she has work the next morning._

**I loved this Father's Day. I liked every Father's Day, well, what I can remember of them. Last year I was three and now me and Kyle are four and more than three quarters. We're big boys this year. This year we get to go to school with other kids. But even though we were small last year and big boys this year, I still remember Father's Day last year.**

**It was fun, but not as fun as it was this year. This year we had Bella with us.**

At first, Bella wasn't with us. When we got to grandma and grandpas, we asked daddy if Bella was going to be there, but he said he didn't know. I thought she would be there since she was friends with Auntie Ally, but it was just daddy, grandma and grandpa, Auntie Ally and Rosie, Uncle Em and Jazz. We always had fun when Uncle Em was around, but we missed Bella.

**We missed mommy.**

We went out yesterday and Tanya's mom thought that Bella was our mommy. We wanted her to be our mommy, but she wasn't. Kevin and I were so happy, because she didn't tell Ms. Sue and Mr. Rob, that's Tanya's mommy and daddy, that she wasn't our mommy. That meant that she wanted to be our mommy.

She wanted us.

**We never had a mommy before. **

**Kyle and I didn't mind much not having a mommy. We had daddy and a lot of other family, too. We didn't think that it was bad not to have a mommy, but now that we had one; one that wanted us, we never wanted to let her go. Bella was our mommy now. She loved us and we loved her.**

Daddy went out with some other girls before, but none of them liked us. They would be nice to us and pinch our cheek-

**Which we hated, well maybe not hate. Grandpa says hate is a harsh word and we should say we don't like something or care for it. We really didn't care to get our cheeks pinched.**

-but was always mean to us or looked at us funny when daddy wasn't there or he would turn around. He never talked with any of them long, but we still never liked it when he left us to go with them. But we don't mind, now, if he left us with grandma and grandpa to go with Bella. She's our mommy, so it's okay with us if he does.

**Daddy's on the phone with Bella—**

Mommy.

**I mean mommy now. I guess I forgot. We decided not to call Bella mommy in front of everyone else yet. We want them to know we love her and that she's our mommy, but I don't think they are ready to hear that yet.**

'Specially Auntie Rosie. I don't think she likes mommy that much. I don't know why, because, mommy is the bestest mommy there is.

**Tanya's mommy is nice too. **

Mommy doesn't like to drive when it get's dark outside. She says she's not afraid of the dark, but she just doesn't like to drive her truck when it's dark.

**Just like yesterday. When we left the big fish tank, mommy put our seats back in daddy's car so we could go home with him. Kyle and me didn't want to leave her and neither did daddy. **

He wanted to follow her home, but she's what we heard Auntie Ally say was stubborn. That she was hardheaded. We didn't get that, because we don't have soft heads, so of course they're going to be hard. Anyway, daddy didn't want mommy to go alone, because he said he didn't want something to happen. Mommy still said no, so daddy talked on the phone with her the whole ride home. He even let me and Kevin talk too.

After a while Kevin said he heard a loud noise in the background and heard mommy gasp. Daddy took the phone back and was talking really fast into the phone. He kept calling mommy's name over and over until she said something. Daddy sounded really worried and it scared Kevin and me.

**Flashback to dream sequence…**

'_**Bella, when can we all go out again? I had fun today and Kyle said he had fun too. Except the part were you tried to feed us to the octopus; that was a little scary.'**_

'Kevin, you know I would never feed you to the octopus. I would keep you for myself and have myself a nice little snack at work.'

'_**Ahhh! Kyle, Bella said she's going to take us to work and eat us.'**_

'_No. Bella would never eat us. Right?'_

'_**I love tasty twin boys. They're the best.'**_

'_**Bella would you really eat us?'**_

'No, no. of course not. I would marinate you in barbeque sauce first, then, have twin barbeque shish Kabob.'

'_Daddy, Bella's going to barbeque us.'_

'Mmm…sounds good. Maybe Bella will share with me. She can have you. And I'll eat Kevin.'

Gasp.

'_**Bella. Bella. Bella, what's wrong'**_

'Kevin, give me the phone…Bella! Bella, answer me!' Daddy heard the sound of tires screeching and glasses shattering as Bella's screams were mixed in. Edward, by now, had stopped the car in the middle of the road. He was terrified. Never had he ever been so completely scared in his life.

Everything was moving in slow motion.

'Daddy!' the boys shouted at him continuously, but all he could hear was Bella.

The screeching of the tires were like nails on a blackboard. Edward cringed at what sounded like a million helpless screams calling out to him as he could practically see the glass from Bella's car shattering, spraying shards of glass into her face, cutting and blinding her as she tried to shield herself from it.

Bella cried out in pain as the glass made contact with her skin. Blood was all over her and she couldn't figure out where it was coming from. She didn't have long to think, because another vehicle was quickly making it's way toward her. The second car hit her on the driver's side, dinting the door, and pushing a piece of hard plastic into her side.

Bella cried out in agony again as she tried to grasp her side, but a third, much larger vehicle was coming at her from the right, flipping her truck and pushing the plastic further into her side before everything went black.

Edward was panicking as he could hear every single sound through the receiver. It was like having surround-sound two inches from your ears.

From the intensity of it all, Edward could practically see the twisted metal as it bent and contorted with each blow. Each and every flake of glass was glistening in an array of colors as it circled the tight atmosphere, unrelenting to the passengers in which it was heading at.

Crash after crash, Edward remanded. Mouth open, eyes wide and un-breathing. The boys were screaming in the back. They could tell something was wrong. But no matter how much they screamed, Edward was as still as stone. He was completely immobilized as he listened. It wasn't until he no longer heard Bella's shrill screams or the clashing of cars and the clatter that it caused that he snapped out of his daze.

Realizing that the accident was over and Bella was no longer conscious, did Edward resume his frantic calls to Bella. When he heard no answer, he stepped on the gas, unaware of the other drivers around him and sharply turned the car around and headed to Bella.

Kevin and Kyle were still in the back screaming and shouting. But Edward couldn't speak; all he could do was drive. Drive to Bella and pray that she was alive and well.

As Edward pulled up to the crash site, He hoped out the car, speaking to Kevin and Kyle for the first time, telling them to stay in the car. He ran past the first set of cops and managed to get fairly close to the accident.

'Sir, I need you to stay back,' the Fire Fighter said as he tried to hold daddy back.

'But, She's…she's…Bella,' he stuttered, unable to get this thoughts in order.

'Sir, do you know someone who was in the accident?'

'I was on the phone with her when it happened. Please, I have to know. My boys…' Edward trailed off.

The man sighed, 'What kind of car?'

'A BMW. A midnight blue X5.' The man nodded and headed back toward the wreckage as Edward stayed behind, watching him almost lifelessly as he headed to find out news of Bella. He turned around to check on the boys.

Through the mess of people, he could just barely see his car, but what he could see more clearly than anything else, was his boys. They were now both standing in the front seat; eyes drenched with tears as they watched him.

Edward's heart was breaking even more as he looked at their pained faces. He had just found her. All three of them had just found her and now they might loose her. He realized today, how much he truly cared for her; how much he wanted her to spend the rest her life with them. As a family. As his wife. Mother to his boys. Mother to the other children they would someday have.

'Sir, she's already been taken to Northwest.

He pulled out his phone making the call he knew would break his mother's heart, 'Dad…it's Bella…Northwest…hurry.' Was all he could tell Carlisle before he hung up.

Edward rushed to his car and quickly strapped the boys back in. He made it to the hospital in ten minutes, parking in the closes parking space he could find; handicapped. He didn't care if he got a ticket. Nothing would matter again if Bella wasn't okay.

'I need information on Bella Swan,' Edward said hurriedly to the nurse at the desk.

She looked at her computer a minute, typing in her name, 'Are you family? Are you her husband, because I can only give this information to immediate family?'

'Yes. We are her only family.'

Just as she was about to speak, she heard sniffles and looked down to see Kevin and Kyle were latched tight to his legs. She instantly felt a pang in her heart as she looked at their tiny faces. Covered in tears and they starred wide-eyed at her for news of Bella.

She leaned over the nurse's station and motioned for Edward to lean in so she could whisper, 'Your wife has been taken up. She's in the OR on the 3rd floor. She was in critical condition. I'm sorry, that's all we'll know until she comes out of surgery. When you get up there, as for Rita. Tell her Cathy sent you.'

'Thank you.'

Cathy starred sadly as Edward led the boys to the elevator. She felt badly for them; that something like this would happen to such a nice family. No one, whatever the circumstances, should have to go through what they were going through. She quickly said a silent prayer for them as the elevator closed and took them to their fate, just two floors up.

Edward called Carlisle and informed him of what floor they were on. He hoped that when he got there, he could get more answers. Carlisle had worked briefly at the hospital. He was a Silent Board Member and was very well respected.

Edward could smell the mixture of cleanser and death. The sickness combined with the sterile-ness of the hospital was making him edgy. Everything seemed to take on a new form as he continued to sit there. The wall clocks seemed to be mocking him with each stroke of the hand. The walls, with their pale grayness, closed in on him with each passing moment. It seemed like hours had passed as he sat there, holding his boys as they had cried themselves into a fitful sleep.

The nurses and other doctors on the floor glanced pitifully at him as they watched him sit there, unmoving except for the gentle constant movement of his hands as he rubbed the boys' head.

'Edward.' It was Alice who called to him first as the whole family entered the waiting room. Edward was too much of a wreck to call anyone else and knew that by calling his father, everyone else would be notified.

Scared that she was going to loose her best friend and sister, Alice made her way to Edward, mindful of her sleeping nephews. Everyone stood in front of him, surrounding him as they waited for him to speak.

'I don't know, they won't tell me anything.'

'I'll see what I can do,' Carlisle said as he gave Esme's tearful face a kiss and walked off to see what he could gather of Bella's injuries.

No one spoke. No one moved. Barely breathed as they waited for Carlisle to come back and give them, hopefully, good news about Bella. Everyone was sitting on pins and nettles. How could a simple trip to the zoo turn out to be so horrible?

Edward sat, blaming himself for not following Bella home. Deep down, he new that he couldn't have prevented what happened, but the _what ifs_ were getting to him.

_What if I had let her leave when she wanted?_

_What if I had made her come back with me?_

_What if I never showed up?_

What if was all he could think.

'Edward,' Carlisle called as the boys suddenly woke up hearing their grandfather's voice ring out.

Carlisle didn't need to say more. The answer was written on his face.

*** * *RMF* * ***

_The crash is __**NOT **__real. It was a 3__rd__ PPOV of their dream the night they woke and called Bella mommy after going to the zoo/aquarium. The boys start out thinking about Bella while they're in the bath—Edward is on the phone with Bella while she drives home—and they remember back to their __**joint**__ nightmare. _

_The boys had their twin thing and dreamed it at the same time, but I figured you understand it better in 3__rd__ person. It was way longer than I planned—again, I got carried away—but I hope you liked it. I know you are still, probably, confused a little, but with the next chapter, things will be a little more clearer and I'll clarify more then. _

_**Thank you again to Cris. This chapter would have been way more confusing without her. **_

_**Thanks so much to cherrytone!**_

_**Thanks a million orange frosted Christmas Trees…I know it's early, but who cares? I don't. **_


	27. Talking Clocks and Bad Mornings

_**Important note about the last chapter: **_The last chapter was a: **Dream Sequence Flashback. . . **_that started the flashbacks to the nightmare they had that morning. __Yes, at the end of the __**dream/nightmare**__ Bella did die, which is why the boys woke up screaming for Bella and wouldn't calm down until they heard her voice and knew she was okay. _

_**This chapter is dedicated to Ginebra Brong, her boyfriend and her friends!  
**__**Thanks for the awesome work translating my story!**_

_**Onward with the read!**_

_16 June…Monday morning_

'Good morning. Wake up. It is now 6:13am. Time to get up.'

Ugh.

I groaned as I pulled one of my pillows off the bed and tossed it at the night stand hoping to knock it off so it would shut up. I would never forgive Alice for this. Show up late _one_ time and she feels the need to get me a new alarm clock. I liked the last alarm I had. It was quite and played nice soothing music that I never used, because I was usually awake already or just going to bed.

But no, that's not good enough anymore. I needed an obnoxious talking clock that told me the time like I couldn't read.

It wasn't even my fault that I was late. I wasn't even home, not that I would tell her that. If Alice found out that I was late, because I slept with her brother, I'll have questions coming at me for days. I'm just not ready to talk about that yet. I'm still trying to get used to seeing Edward and not feeling weird.

I heaved myself out of bed so I could prepare for another glorious day at the office courtesy of Johnson. I wasn't in the mood to deal with unhappy writers, sexist bosses, Michael or anything else while I was up to my ears in paper work. It never seemed to end.

After setting the coffee pot, I made my way to my bathroom and turned on the shower. As I waited for the water to heat, I gazed at my reflection in the mirror. I had bags under my eyes and my hair looked drab.

I was never pretty, but I had decent, thick hair down my back and no bags. I was grateful for the Preparation H Alice gave me last year. She complained that I would get bags under my eyes if I didn't start getting more than three hours of sleep, but I thought it was silly. I never had bags, but now, I would become one of the many women that dabbed hemorrhoid cream on their face.

I stepped under the warm spray hoping that the warm water would relax my nerves and hopefully save me from my new morning ritual. I wasn't vain in any way and I certainly wasn't looking forward to putting hemorrhoid cream on my face, but if Alice ever saw me like this, I would never hear the end of it.

The last few days have been so strenuous that I haven't had a minute to myself that wasn't plagued with some sort of pros and cons list. I feel just as mentally and emotionally drained as I had two days ago; as if the life force has just been sucked right out of me. I didn't want to do anything but crawl back into the bed and sleep the rest of the day.

Times like this, not that I had many of these sorts of days, made me wish that caffeine actually did something for me and didn't make me sick. Perhaps I'm getting sick. That could be a logical reason as to why I wasn't feeling well, but I know exactly why I wasn't feeling right. Why can it not be as simple as the flu? Why, year after year, did I have to be plagued with the memories of those I loved most? Why couldn't I just except it and move on?

"Good morning Bella."

"Ang. Hey, how are you? How's Ben?" I asked as I stepped into Angela's office.

"Oh, I'm good, Ben is good. We're all pretty good," she said giggling at her silliness, "we still on for Wednesday? Alice is still coming?"

"You know Alice. Is it alright if I bring a friend with me? I just met her and I know she'd love to come."

"The more the merrier. We are going to need all the help we can get. You know she's going to be pissed at us." Angela snickered.

"She couldn't actually believe she was going to get away with a party, did she? You know what, don't answer that. There's a reason we are doing it on Wednesday, but I'll see you later. There's a meeting in a bit and I'm going to be late if I don't go," I finished and headed to my office, then the board room and prepared myself for a long day.

*** * *RMF* * ***

_**I got nothing for you here…my head is killing me…Orange kisses, Charley.**_


	28. June Showers

_**Onward with the read!  
**__Monday, 16 June Continued…_

'New Moon Publishing, Isabella Swan. 'Beep''

"Bella, it's Susan. I was ju-"

"Susan, I'm here." I said picking up my phone. I didn't have a secretary yet, mostly, because I didn't want one and didn't need one until we had the two new Executive Editors here and trained in the position.

"Oh, Bella, good. I thought you might have left already or out to lunch," Susan said happily.

"No, I'm just finishing up here, Why?"

"Well, I'm in your area and I wanted to see if you wanted to get lunch."

"Sure. That would be great. I am so ready to get out of this office right now."

Knock…knock…knock.

"Come in…Sue, give me a second."

"Sure no problem," Sue said walking through the door, "I'm glad you are ready to go. Would have been a drag coming all the way up here, just to leave without you."

"Sue! How did you…"

"Never mind any of that." She waved her hand and took a seat in front of me.

"You have no idea how good it is to see you right now. Lets go, before someone tries to keep me any longer," I said getting up and grabbing my things so we could leave.

I saw Martha and Angela making there way down the hall as we left. Angela warned me that Mike was heading my way and Sue and I took the stairs to the next floor and caught the elevator there.

"Who is Mike?"

"Some guy that works here and he doesn't know how to take no for an answer," I answered annoyed. Luckily for me, I was in a meeting all morning and when I got out, Mike was already at lunch.

"Oh, an office romance. So sweet. What would Edward think, you having yourself am intra-office fling and not telling him? Tsk Tsk Tsk, Bella!" Sue snickered and poked fun.

"You wouldn't think it was so funny if he was following you around like a lost puppy. That would be better."

Sue just continued to laugh, "Look, I'll meet you at the café and we can ride together to the mall. Sound good?" I nodded and headed to my truck.

Sue got to the Indo Café before I did and I met her outside.

"How many?"

"Two."

"Hello, I'm Barbara. Can I get your drink orders to start?"

"I'll have an _Es Teh Manis_, please."

"I'll have the same, thanks." I told her and she left to fill our orders.

"So, where are Kevin and Kyle today?"

"You know, I have no idea. I had a meeting this morning, so I haven't spoken to them yet. Probably still in Forks. Everyone was at Edward's mother's house for Father's Day, so he may still be out there with the boys. Edward mentioned something about staying for a day or two, but I know he'll be back before Friday…it's his birthday."

"Oh, are you throwing him a party? Wait, why haven't you spoken to him all day? Robby sometimes does that and it really get to me sometimes, because he'll always calls me and when he doesn't, I get worried.

"Well first, I'm not sure about the party. Knowing Alice, my best friend and his sister, there's a one hundred percent chance of a party in the Friday forecast. If there is, you and Robert are more than welcomed to come. I hope you do. I think Robert will get along with Edward's brothers real well. And as for not knowing where Edward is, I don't feel inclined to know where he is all the time…we're not married."

"Oh. I just thought…"

"Don't feel bad, Sue. I kind of left that little detail out on purpose. Edward and I aren't even dating reall-"

"Okay, here you go. Sorry about the wait. One of the other servers made the tea very weak," she laughed setting our drinks down, "Do you know what you want to eat or do you need more time?"

"I ready, Bella, if you are," I nodded, "I'll have the, _Toge Cah Terasi._"

"And you?"

"_Sate Ayam._"

"You do realize that is an appetizer, right?" Barbara asked me.

"Yes."

"So, you aren't married and not dating." I sighed. I would have to tell her one day.

"No. We met a couple months ago, when the boys were lost in the store and then we kept running into each other and decided to exchange numbers. Turned out that he was Alice's brother and I didn't know, because Edward is twenty-five and we were never all that close as children and I moved away for a few years and when I came back, he was attending a private music school and we never saw much of each other after that," I said in a rush. I don't know why I wanted to get it out fast, but I just felt the need to have it over and done with.

"Wow. So they boys aren't your children? They look so much like you."

"I never really thought that they did. They look so much like Edward."

"Maybe in eye and hair color, but the features are all you. If you hadn't have told me, I would have never known. Robby thinks they have a lot of you as well."

"Well, what can I say?"

"Doesn't matter, though. They are yours. I think you and Edward will do well in a relationship."

"Why does everyone keep saying that?"

"Have you seen you two together? It's not hard to see why everyone would think you're married," Sue smirked rolling her eyes.

"Well, I guess we are getting a little closer. Just a little."

"Whatever you say, Bella," She laughed.

"Alright ladies. Here you go. Let me know if you need anything else."

"What you have looks good."

"Want some?"

"No. I'm a vegetarian."

"So Animal Police, vegetarian…is there PETA in there somewhere?"

"No, thank you, Bella," she said sarcastically, "I had a bad experience when I was little and I've never been able to eat anything that lived after that."

"What was it?" I asked curious. I was hoping nothing too bad; I didn't want to bring up any bad memories for her, but I couldn't help my curiosity.

"Nothing horrible…per se. My brother, Billy, well he…maybe I shouldn't tell you since you are eating chicken," she laughed. I immediately dropped my skewer, while Sue just sat there laughing at me. I hailed our waitress back over and ordered as salad and decided that maybe I'll tackle the chicken another day or just add it to the list of things to get the boys to try.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't even say what I saw," she continued to laugh.

I huffed, "Yeah, I can see you're all torn up about it. So, is Robert a vegetarian as well?"

"HA. Gosh no. I couldn't tear meat away from him if his life depended on it. I'm not nut about it, though. After I saw how they killed the chickens, I decided I didn't want to eat anything that got treated like that in their last days. I cook-"

"Well aren't we the martyr?" I snickered.

Sue ignored me and continued, "Like I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted." I rolled my eyes, "I cook it and season with it; I just won't eat the meat itself."

"How does this Animal Police thing actually work?" I asked as we browsed through the baby section looking for a gift.

"Well, sometime regular police officers will call in something, but most times, its neighbors or people who are passing by and see something. A report is taken, and then my partner and I go out to the residence and more or less inspect things. If the owner isn't home, we leave a note. The case we had today…another cop called it in. A Rock and a Pincher were malnourished. We went by, the owners weren't home, but the dogs were tied up outside and we made a judgment call to take them, because they were so under weight."

"Oh, my goodness, are they alright?"

"They're okay or at least they will be in time. The Pincher was around three to five months and only weighed eight pounds. The Rock was only twenty something and around eight months. She should have been at least sixty at almost a year. She was so scared, too. If you even got near her, she would duck her head, so it's clear there was abuse."

"I don't understand what it is that possesses people to do those sorts of things. Why have them, if you can't care of them and obviously don't want them." I know we were just talking about dogs, but it struck a cord in me. Why would someone willing keep and animal or anybody if they didn't want them?

It was ridiculous how people treated innocent animals and people so badly. Why couldn't they just say, 'I don't want you' and drop you off at a shelter? But instead, they keep you and do everything in their power to make you feel like crap.

Doesn't matter if it's a person or an animal, it's just wrong on all accounts.

*** * *RMF* * ***

**18 June…late morning**

"AHHH! BELL-LA! Get this mutt out of the way!" Alice shouted from the door.

"Hey there boy, how are you?" I saw Sue patting Goober's head as she walked past him leaving an annoyed Alice at the door.

"Alice my baby is not a mutt. Hey Sue. I see you've met Alice. Isn't she wonderful? You know, Alice, Sue here is Animal Police."

"Wait. What did I do?"

"I never said you did anything, Alice. Did I, boy?" I said patting Goober so he would go lay down again, "I was just making sure the two of you were acquainted. That's all."

"Alice pulled up after me and you have nothing to worry about. I'll let you off with a warning for animal verbal abuse."

"It's not my fault she trained Mad Max over there to attack me. Bella, if I get fined over calling a dog the mutt he is, I'll have your head." Sue and I just laughed as Alice huffed into the house. She knew she wasn't in any sort of trouble, but she loved to mock hurt so I could do something to make her feel better. Usually shopping.

"Alice, make a cup of coffee…I made your favorite. Sue, help yourself and I'll be right back." I said walking into my room. Today was going to be a long day, I could already tell.

"Alright, I'm ready when you are."

"Bella, this coffee is to die for. Where did you find it?"

"Oh, I di-"

"This is her own special blend. She won't even tell me what's in it," Alice finished glaring at me. She'd get over it one day.

"Bella, you should market this stuff."

"That's what I've been telling her for _years,_" Alice tried to stress her point on the pros and con of marketing my coffee—with board and graphs of course—but I was in no way going to sale my coffee.

Just wasn't for me.

"Alice, you just want me to market it so you can get find out what's in it. Sue, like I-"

"That's not it at all. I think you should really market it, because it's great coffee-"

"Buttering me up, now are we?"

"BUT, of course you will need someone else to know the recipe for mass production, so who better than me?"

"Oh, yes I see your point now," I retorted back sarcastically, "but I have no plans of doing it now or in the future. If someone wants the turn of the century coffee, someone else needs to come up with it." I hopped into the back of Sue's car, while Alice got in the front. I wanted to just relax and in the car with Alice, the back was the best.

"Bella, what did you get? You never told me what gift you bought."

"For a reason, Alice. You'll see like everyone else does…when it's time."

"Oh, Bella! Why can't you just tell me? It's no secret. It's not even that important to keep a secret."

"Why don't you tell me what you bought?" I commented.

"A spa gift certificate."

"Oh I love those. My husband gave me one when I was pregnant; they are the best things when you're pregnant."

"I know. I don't have children, so I'm not sure how they differ, but I love the spa. My husband has a membership to a men's spa."

"See, I can't get my husband to go to one of those. He always says it's a woman's thing." Sue pouted.

"I bought my brothers one for Father's Day, so they really don't have a choice. By one of the one time visit to the one Jasper goes to and I guarantee that he'll be whistling a whole new tune when he leaves." Alice said confidently.

"So, do you and Bella go to the spa often?"

"NO!"

"Bella won't let me take her. She has all that free time in the afternoon and she won't even try it once."

"That's because I don't need a whole bunch of strangers with their grubby hands all over me."

"Well, maybe you should left _somebody's_ hands rub all over you."

"Alice," I hissed.

"So how long has it been, Bella?"

"Not you too, Sue. I get it enough from Tinker; I didn't expect you as well."

"Let's try never."

"Bella, you're still a virgin? However did you manage that and not become bitter?" Sue laughed. Great. Just great. Now I have it coming from both of them. This little arrangement is not working out in my favor.

I was doing so well. Mood had taken a back seat for a while, but then Ghost of Hells Past decided to rear its ugly head and now Mood is back. I could always just tell them that it wasn't true, but then I would launch an attack of questions from Alice and I'm not ready to answer those. I guess I'm just going to sit back and take one for the team.

"Obviously, you've only dealt with her on her good days," Alice snickered as I sulked, sucking up the urge to tell her I slept with her brother, "But don't think I've forgotten. You still haven't told me what you bought."

"I never said I was," I snickered. At least I got her somewhere.

"Yes you did. You said if I told you what I bought."

"If I recall correctly," Sue interjected, "Bella never said if you told, she would. She simply asked what you bought." I knew I loved her for a reason.

"And we're here." Sue added before Alice could come up with a reason for me to tell her. We gathered our things and headed for Angela's front door. Before we made it up the walk, Angela came barreling out in frenzy.

"Bella! Oh, I think we should have told her."

"If we did, she wouldn't have agreed," Alice pointed out.

"I know, Alice, but she is so not happy right now. Her friends are inside and she's making the best of it, but you can tell she's not happy."

"Don't worry so much, Ang. I'll go in and say hi, why Alice smoothes her feathers over. This is Susan McGreggor. Sue, this is Angela. This is her mother's baby shower." I introduced them and walked in the house while they better acquainted themselves.

"Danny. How are you? Looking as lovely as ever."

"Oh don't you try to sweet talk me. You know I didn't want a baby shower."

"No, I don't think I knew that." I joked. Of course I knew, she called me specifically and made sure that I knew it.

"I'm as big as a house."

"Whose house? Because you seem to fit into this one just fine."

"Bella, dear, you finally made it." Esme said as she walked out the kitchen and into the family room and gave me a hug.

"Esme."

"And you, you are supposed to be one of my best friends and you let them do it.'

"Danny, stop pouting," Esme scolded playfully, "You're reminding me of one of my children and you look beautiful. There is no reason we shouldn't celebrate you becoming a mother."

"I'm already a mother."

"All the more reason to celebrate such a joyous occasion. Danny, I love that outfit. Where did you get it?" Alice asked knowing just what to say to get Danny to calm. She loved shopping almost as much as Alice did.

"Sue."

"Hey, Bella. Fire out yet?" She asked as I took a seat next to her.

"Yeah, mostly. All Alice had to do was mention clothes and shopping."

"Why does she hate the shower so much?"

"Well, Danny is nearly forty-five and her youngest, Owen is nearly…14 I think and she feels too old to be having another child. She asked us not to ever mention the fact that she was pregnant."

"You're kidding?"

"No. She never wants anyone to talk about it, so we don't, but she was like that when she had Owen and he is the light of her life. I fully expect her to be the same after the baby. Hate the pregnancy, but when the baby is born, she won't stop gushing over her."

"So it's a girl, then?"

"Yeah, she doesn't know what it is, but Bill, wanted to know and of course he told Angela and so on down the line."

"Well, she should have nothing to complain about. She's glowing."

"Like a Christmas Day float."

"Bella!" Sue tried to scold me, but she was laughing too hard for it to sound stern.

"What? It's what she said not me. I think she's beautiful."

I spent most of my time just talking to Alice, Sue and Angela, while Danny talked with her friends and family. Though it was a baby shower, it wasn't the run-of-the-mill baby shower with games and such. Danny was becoming a mother for the thirds time and still had all of her stuff from when Owen was born. Although she acted like she didn't like being pregnant—which most days was true—she was extremely sentimental.

She had baby books for both Angela and Owen completely filled out. Baby's first curl and tooth holders, as well as, a little box to keep the birth certificate in that Esme had bought her for each of her pregnancies including this one. Tapes, dozens of recordings of her children at all of there big moments and not so big moments.

Today was really about celebrating her and that fact that she was a great mother and would be for the third time around. She had raised two wonderful children and would soon be raising another that was sure to be as great as the first two.

There were gifts, cake and even a diaper cake and decorations, but we just wanted to show how much we loved and supported her.

We all just sat or stood around in groups scattered about, chit-chatted about whatever. Catching up on everything that we had missed in each others' lives, because of busy schedules and just life happening in general. There was no rush in anything that we did. It was all women, celebrating another phenomenal woman on her great accomplishments as a woman and a mother.

We were all supportive of her not wanting anyone to acknowledge that fact that she was growing in size—as she put it—but we were going to make sure she knew how much we loved and cherished her even if it killed her. Danny was a wonderful woman and mother, and we were going to make sure she knew it.

*** * *RMF* * ***

_**A few photos for this chapter are on my website**___

_**Thanks a million Orange penny candies!  
**__My mom and I were having a talk about her good ol' days and penny candy, so…_


	29. Immunity

**_(Disclaimer on website)_**

**_Don't get too excited.  
I'm not sure I'm back, but I needed to update today for two reasons-with a real chapter-and my A'sN below will explain my absence from posting a bit._**

**_Today is my 23rd birthday. I'm supposed to wish someone else's happy birthday today, but I can't find your review-sorry. But Happy Birthday nonetheless. _**

**_The second has to do with why I was on hiatus. I've been silently battling with Major Clinical Depression for more years than I care to admit. 2008 has been-particularly-a real horseshit of a year for me and everything that could go wrong has been doing it's best to push me over the edge...nearly did over a month ago._**

**_My purpose for revealing something so personal...something that I've been ashamed of for so long is let you know that there is nothing to be ashamed of. Millions of people have this problem and it doesn't make you crazy. Trying to hide and deal on your own isn't smart...or safe._**

**_I have a very dear friend that I owe my life to, but not everyone is so lucky to have friends who can see through a facade and see the pain within._**

_**Onward with the read...  
**Friday 20 June_

It was very early in the morning. Not quite seven and I was sure that Edward and the boys were still very much asleep. Apparently the boys were a ball of energy yesterday and when I finally got off the phone with them it was after midnight. They were usually knocked out before ten on one of their more active days, but last night proved to be more than I had anticipated.

As I entered Edward's house, I flicked on a couple of lamps since it was still dark out. I headed to the kitchen to start the coffee I brought with me and dropping off a couple bags before going to wake up Edward. I was hoping that this was a good idea. I hadn't spoken directly to Edward much since Danny's baby shower which turned out to be little Anna's birthday.

A few hours into the shower and Danny went into labor. I had to call Edward to come and pick me up from the hospital since I rode with Sue and she left before Alice and I did.

Edward's door was slightly ajar-ed. I pushed it open and headed to his bed. I sat down and just stared at him as he slept. He looked so peaceful and beautiful. I wondered how I was so lucky to know a man like him. But I was afraid. I was afraid I wouldn't be enough for him and he would see that I wasn't that great of a person and leave me.

It was still so surreal that Edward was Anthony. He was Alice and Emmett's brother. I looked at him now and I still couldn't believe I didn't notice it before. Granted I hadn't seen him in nearly five years and even then-at Emmett's wedding-I don't recall talking to him. I was only there for Emmett and I left soon after. I remember Alice telling me when the boys were born, but I don't remember many of the details of anything she told me.

Could I have been that detached before that I paid absolutely no attention to detail? Well, obviously, when I'm preoccupied I tend to miss things, but how could I have not put it together sooner. Maybe I didn't want to put it together.

I remember a conversation I had with Jasper once and he told me the mind has a way of blocking out things from our conscious mind until we're able to deal with them. But why wouldn't I want to remember Edward? I've hardly seen him in the past ten years and before that, we really weren't all that close.

**_Rewind  
Alice age 10. Bella age 9. Edward age 13._**

_'Bella, I have the best idea. Let's play house. You be the mom and I'll be the daughter.'_

_'Yes, because no one will actually believe that I'm your child at that height.' she snickered._

_'Are you trying to be mean to me? Your best friend and sister in the whole wide world?'_

_'A bit dramatic don't you think and I thought I was your mother and not your sister. And aren't we a little old to be playing house, Alice?' Bella sat back and rolled her eyes. Alice had a motive, she was sure. Alice was never one for dolls and play-houses. She preferred Bella._

_'Come on.'_

_Alice dragged Bella down stairs into the parlor where she could hear the piano playing. It was Edward. She loved to listen to him play, but she rarely got a chance because she was either out with Emmett, with Charlie and Henry or playing Bella Barbie Makeover with Alice. She felt like this was a rare treat and was just about ready to agree to anything if she was able to hear Edward as his young fingers skillfully glided over the smooth ivory keys._

_'Edward!'_

_'Alice,' Bella hissed. 'You can't interrupt him while he's playing,'_

_Edward was ready to fuss at Alice until he heard her. His fingers halted on the keys at the sound of Bella's sultry voice._

_'It's alright.' Alice smirked._

_'Edward, I'm sorry. I didn't know she was going to interrupt. I would have stopped her,' Bella apologized, her head bowed in shame of her best friend. Alice just stood there as they interacted not saying a word._

_'It's alright.' he repeated. 'What did you want?' he asked kindly. _

_Bella thought he was always so mature. Unlike his older brother, Edward was almost always calm and focused. She couldn't fathom how Alice's bubbly, scary and overbearing pixie personality and Emmett's boisterous, immature and comical manor could both be related to Edward. Unruffled. Bruiting. Centered. Self-assured. Always, all the time._

_'Alice wanted to play house.'_

_'Aren't you a little old to be playing house? And since when do you play house?' Edward asked, turning all the way around to face her now._

_'That's what I said and I don't play house. Never have.' Bell looked away from his intense gaze as she answered._

_'What is my role supposed to be in all this?'_

_'I have no clue. Apparently I'm the mother and she's my daughter. Aren't I so lucky?'_

_'Looks like you picked the short straw.'_

_'Tell me about it.'_

_'Har har.' Alice rolled her eyes at the banter. 'You are the father, Edward. There has to be a mother and a father.'_

_'Why not Emmett?'_

_Alice just stared at him as if it should the answer should be quite obvious._

_'Sorry, Bella, I can't play today.'_

_'So'kay.'_

_'And why not?' Alice protested._

_'Alice, will you stop bothering him so he can practice?' Bella was a bit ticked now. She knew how much his music meant to him, plus she wanted another chance to hear him play and she could do that if Alice kept up her pleading._

_'There's no need.' Edward turned back to his piano and started playing softly. 'One day we won't have to play. Mahogany haired and green eyed babies.' he mused. 'Pretty don't you think, Bella?' Edward asked, turning his head lightly in Bella's direction as he continued to play._

**That was the last time Bella saw Edward. Just two months before Renee returned.**

"Mmm." Edward grunted as he shifted in his bed. I decided it was time to wake him up so we weren't late.

"Edward. Edward, wake up," I called softly running my fingers through his hair. His lips curved up as he turned toward me, but didn't open his eyes. "Edward, happy birthday. Wake up."

"It will be if you let me sleep longer. Thank you." He wrapped his arms around me and proceed to pull me down to him. "Sleep. It's too early to be awake." His voice was a bit gruff, but still smooth and warm as velvet.

"How about I wake the boys and you can sleep a little longer." I didn't get an answer.

I untangled myself from his arms and headed to the boys' room, turning on the hall light as I went. The dim lamp between their beds was on, dinosaurs playing across the walls from the shade. Kyle was in Kevin's bed, the two of them facing one another.

"Kyle. Kevin. Wake up," I said as I sat down on the end of the bed, rubbing their legs. Kyle was the first to turn over.

"Mommy." My heart swelled.

"Morning, sweety." Kyle crawled to me, sitting in my lap to give me a hug. Kevin turned over, but didn't wake up.

Takes after his father in that department, I see.

"Kevin, wake up, sleepy head."

"Mommy? Is that you?" Kevin asked, rubbing his eyes as they adjusted to the light. When he saw it was me, he too crawled into my lap.

"It's daddy's birthday today, right?"

"Sure is. That why we have to get ready. We are going to take daddy out for a while."

I help the boys into the bath and took out the cloths that Alice advised-demanded-that I put them in. After about forty-five minutes, the boys were washed, brushed, dressed and ready to go.

"Okay, go in daddy's room very quietly, climb on his bed and then start jumping up and down really fast a tell him happy birthday until he wakes up."

The boys ran out the room, when they got to Edward's room, they open the door and did what I told them. They looked at me and when I nodded they started jumping up and down shouting happy birthday. I had out my video camera so I could get the whole thing. Edward shot up in the bed grabbing them and wrestling them down. All that could be heard was their laughs.

I got closer to the bed as the boys double teamed Edward and had him pinned to the bed.

"Daddy, wake up. Wake up. It's your birthday today, you know." Kyle informed.

"Shouldn't a man get to sleep in on his birthday?" Edward ask sourly as he tickled the boys.

"Ahhh!" they screamed.

"NO! You have to get up. Bella is going to make breakfast. A special breakfast that we can only have when you get up."

I walked further into the room. I reached for the lamb beside Edward's bed to get more light, but when I turned my back, he grabbed me and I fell back into the bed on top of him.

"Now I've got you." his voice was deep and husky.

"Edward, the camera."

"Fine." Edward snatched the camera from me and turned it. "See, this is what happens when you wake a sleeping man. You get payback."

"Oh, don't be so dramatic. Besides, it was the boys that did it not me."

"She told us to."

"Yeah, daddy, Bella told us to jump on you." Kevin ratted me out, too.

"Is that right?" Edward disentangled himself from me as the boys attempted to attack me.

"I never...told...them to jump...on...you," I tried to say between laughs.

Edward laughed back at me as he aimed the camera at us. "Just the bed then."

"Can I take the fifth on this one?"

"No." I huffed as I pulled the boys down from jumping.

"Wave to the camera, boys. Happy birthday, Edward."

"Happy birthday, daddy."

"Dance with me."

"What?"

"You heard me."

"It's eight in the morning, who dances at eight in the morning? And there's no music."

"It's my birthday isn't it." it wasn't a question. Edward handed the camera to the boys and pulled me out of bed and to his chest. "We'll make our own music." We swayed around the room a bit, Edward humming an unknown tune to me as the boys focused the camera on us. After a few minutes, I demanded that he take a shower.

The boys and I headed to the kitchen start on breakfast. I set the camera up on its tripod at the end of the kitchen-out of danger-before unpacking the bags I brought with me.

"What are we having for breakfast?"

"French toast."

"What's french toast?" Kyle asked, setting up his stool on the other side of me at the island.

"It's like eggy break. Sounds gross, but trust me, it's good."

"Can we help make daddy's birthday breakfast?"

"Of course, Pumpkin. Why don't you get the eggs and Puddin', you can get the milk."

I pulled out a bowl for the boys and took down a couple pots as the boys gathered the ingredients I needed. In one pot I mixed blueberries and raspberries with sugar and in the other I put blackberries and sugar, setting them on low. The boys cracked a few eggs in a bowl, adding some milk while I slice some bread into thick slices.

"And what do we have here?"

'Nothing for you to concern yourself with." I snapped playfully.

"Can I help?"

"No."

"But it's my birthday." he pouted.

I rolled my eyes. "That's only going to work so many times today, so use it sparingly."

"I'll remember that."

"Just get those two jars off the counter by the coffee pot and that's you coffee there."

"Thank you," He said, taking a sip. "Perfect."

"I know." Edward just looked at me. Been a while since I got that look. I was going to have fun with him today.

"What's this?"

"Daddy, that's seasoning for the eggs."

"Well Kevin, aren't you smart."

"I know. Kyle too. We're twins, so we're both smart the same way."

"Don't I know it." I laughed.

"Maybe Uncle Em was right when he said daddy was dense. I didn't understand when he said that daddy was an example of it, but I guess so." Kyle commented to Kevin, dejectedly. He rested his head on the counter staring up at his brother.

Kevin mimicked his actions. "Daddy can be so abstruse sometimes." he sighed heavily.

I tried not to laugh as the boys stared at each other. "Add a few heavy dashes of those to the eggs and let them beat it," I told Edward as I set the griddle on medium heat and adding a several dollops of butter.

"Why are we putting nutmeg and cinnamon in eggs if we're having french toast?" Edward looked at me skeptically holding the seasonings in his hand. I took them and handed them to the boys so they could sprinkle it in.

"This is not restaurant style, which by the way is bland compared to this, but my better version. Trust me, you'll like it. Now stop questioning me or get out of my kitchen."

"Your kitchen?"

I ignored him. There was no point. "Alright, now we need to dip the bread in and put it on the griddle."

"Bella, I don't want to get my hands eggy." Kyle looked at the eggs with a disgusted face.

"How about you and daddy mix and Kevin and I dip?" He nodded.

Each time Kevin and I dipped bread into the egg mixture, Edward would guide Kyle in beating the eggs again to combine the seasonings that settled to the top of the eggs. After about twenty minutes, we had all the french toast cooked and the fruit topping was caramelized. They boys set the table with silverware as Edward fix the boys glasses of milk and me juice. Edward had another cup of coffee.

I plate the toast, sifting powdered sugar on top and then smothering them in fruit topping finishing them off with a healthy helping of whipped cream. I sat the blackberry covered toasts in front of the boys since they were allergic to blueberries.

****

It was nearly eleven when we were finally ready to leave the house. Edward insisted on taking his car, but he never said he had to be the one driving. That lead to a very pouty Edward and giggling boys in the back seat. I was surprised when he didn't put up much of a fight, but I could tell he wasn't happy with me driving his _baby_.

I decided that I would take Edward to the Experience Music Project at the Seattle Center. It had a lot of different attraction and with Edward's love of music, it seemed like the best place to take him today. Plus, it had something for the children to do, so it was a family treat and that in itself would please Edward, I'm sure.

I took it easy on Edward's car. I'm not _Speed Racer_ like all of the Cullens-even Esme on occasion. Carlisle too drove fast, but he wasn't as aggressive as his children-but I made sure not to take any sharp turns or ride his breaks. Edward was a crazier driver than Alice, yet all he did was bug be about my driving.

I shudder to think about how he drove before fatherhood.

"Are you sure you're obeying the speed limit. You know the boys are in the back." He commented for the umpteenth time.

I was going to knock him silly.

"Mmm, this coming from Agent Speed Racer who made it from Forks to Seattle in an hour. I think I have this under control."

"Well, I just wanted to make sure you-"

"You know, I never did like backseat drivers. Passenger side drivers even less. They can be dangerous to the driver with their unless paranoia...or at least that's what Alice would say when I told her to mind her speed and erratic-to me-driving. She simply told me to trust her and all would be fine. I didn't believe her at the time, but clearly I'm still here. All in one piece too. Amazing." I smirked out sarcastically.

"Fine, I get it, but this-"

"Is my _baby_. I know I know. Sheesh."

"Okay, I'll leave you be for now, but I'm driving home. And stop calling me Agent."

"Aye-Aye, Captain." The boys started giggling from the backseat after hearing Edward and I go back and forth.

"And just what are you two laughing at?"

I looked at the boys through the rear-view mirror. They had a glimmer in their eyes and I know it was about to start. Poor Edward. And on his birthday too.

"Are you ready, kids?" Kyle chocked out.

"Aye-Aye, Captain!"

I tried not to laugh as I stopped at a red light, but when Edward turned to me, wide eyed and teary I couldn't hold it in anymore. I cracked up. I was laughing to hard as the boys went through the whole song that I didn't even notice the light had turned green until someone honked at me. I sobered up enough to drive, but I could stop the snort that escaped me as Edward sunk down in his seat. His head resting on the window.

"Edward, you really need to get over this. It's not that bad." He just rolled his head to the left to look at me. I reached over and patted his hand.

"At least _Lamb Chops_ doesn't play anymore. Be grateful _Sponge Bob_ has an ending." I nickered as Edward rolled his eyes. I'd have to by the boys a _Lamb Chops_ DVD and see how he took to the song that never ended. He'd be begging for _Sponge Bob_ in a matter of minutes.

****

"Bella, what did you do?" Edward asked, as he pulled into his driveway behind my truck.

"Nothing." I stepped out the car to help the boys out. Edward quickly followed.

"I'm supposed to be having dinner tonight in Forks."

"Is that so?" I asked sweetly. It was obvious that there was a party. The five cars in the driveway and on the street in front of his house were kind of a dead give away. Alice wanted me to blind fold him, but that would have had the same affect as not blind folding him and I saw no point.

"Daddy, there's a surprise party that you're not supposed to know about. Me and Kevin knew though." Kyle piped in, with big eyes.

"It was our idea, daddy. Do you not like parties?" Alice trained them well. At that, Edward's irritation level for wanting a nice family dinner-shot to hell-lowered.

"Of course I like parties. And anything you do I will always love. Why don't you cover my eyes so I'll be surprised when we go inside." Edward put Kevin on his back while he covered his eyes. I took Edward's hand and led him to the house.

"SURPRISE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" everyone screamed as I opened the door and Kevin removed his hands. Edward sis his best impression of being surprised when he walked in.

"WOW! I didn't expect all this. Thanks."

"You are the worst actor ever." Alice announced.

"I'm a concert pianist."

"And you. I thought I told you to blind fold him. I wanted it to be a surprise."

"It was a surprise to see all those cars outside of my house." Edward announced.

"Alice, leave your brother and Bella alone. Happy birthday, honey." Esme said hugging Edward tightly.

"She is very serious about her parties, no."

"Sue, you have no idea."

"Just once. That's all I ask."

"Back off, pixie stick, before I dunk you."

"Ooh, Bella? If I lick Auntie Ally, will she taste like one?" Kyle laughed as we all headed into the family room.

"What are you talking about little man?" Emmett asked as he hoisted a giggling Kyle over his head.

"I took Edward to an old fashion candy store. He'd been talking about not being able to find Nik-L-Nips and the boys discovered pixie sticks."

"_Bottlecaps_. I could use a good _Bottlecap_."

"Ugh. Robert, I don't know how you eat those things. They're like chalk." Sue scolded in disgust.

"No, Carlisle here likes _Necco Wafers_. Those are so much worse. When we were dating, he was always trying to get me to eat those."

I bumped Esme in the arm and tilted my head to the side so she could see what I saw.

"Yeah, Bella bought it for us today." Kyle told Tanya bravely.

"What's yours look like?"

"It's blue and yellow. See." Kevin stuck out his arm shyly.

"I like yours."

"Here. You can where it until you get one." Kevin took off his crockett bracelet and slid it on Tanya's wrist.

"Thank you, Kevin." Tanya beamed.

"Tanya, would you like to come to me and Kyle's room. It's a double. One side is the bed part and the other side is the playroom until we're older, then daddy says we can have our own."

"Okay."

"Oh, they are so cute. You were right, Bella." Esme's eyes started to water. I was glad the moved the camera out of the kitchen and had it on. That was something we could show them years from now when they are all grown up.

"Leave the door open!" Emmett hollered.

"EMMETT!" we scolded.

"What?"

"They're four." Rose replied smacking him.

"Ow, Rosie."

"Hey, you leave him alone. I was going to say the same thing. Moving in on my little girl like that."

We all laughed as Edward and Robert bickered back and forth about who child hit on who first.

"Come on, ladies. Let's leave the men to there arguments." Esme stood and Sue, Alice, Rose, Angela and myself followed her into the kitchen leaving Robert, Emmett, Ben, Carlisle, Jasper and Edward in the family room.

"So...what did you do all day?" Angela asked. She had a tone that I couldn't place and I didn't like the way they were all looking at me. It was apparent that there was some talk while we were gone.

"What's with the looks. And I told you at the hospital that I was taking him to the Experience Music Project. He and the boys had a good time. And speaking of hospitals, how's Danny and Anna holding up?" Good deflection Bella.

"Don't think we won't be back to that, Bella." Sue stated.

Maybe not!

"They're fine, thanks. They'll be discharged tomorrow. Mom was hoping to be out today. You know how she hates those hospital beds."

"Yes, they're not the most comfortable things." Esme added.

"Bella, how did you get Edward to let you drive his car? He never let's anyone near it. He barely let Rose test drive it when she does work on it." Alice asked suspiciously.

"It was his idea."

"Bella, from what you tell me about Edward, there is no way he would have willingly had that idea."

"What?" I asked looking at Sue and the others. It was true. Mostly. "It was. I promise."

"And you really want us to believe that?" Rosalie sneered.

"Well there's always a first time for everything." Esme added nicely, trying to cover up for Rose as she patted my hand.

"Over Edward's dead body." Alice laughed.

"All that happened was, we were leaving and I said I was driving and Edward said we were taking his car. He never said _he_ had to be the one driving it." I smirked crossing my arms.

"And a dirty trick it was."

"Stop you belly aching. Trick nothing. They were your words not mine."

"Son, I think you're losing your touch."

"When did he ever have one?" Jasper asked, poking fun at Edward as well, hugging Alice as we all laughed.

"Good one, man. What's on the menu? I'm starving."

"Shut up, Emmett. Today's my birthday, aren't I supposed to have immunity or something?" Edward pouted as I went to the fridge.

"When are you ever not hungry, Emmett?"

"I told you to use it sparingly and no you are all out of Chance cards. Deal." I said sticking the end of the celery stick in the peanut butter.

"Oh, Alice," Esme scolded playfully. "You and Emmett have nearly the same appetite."

"Ooh, I want a taste." I stuck it back in and held it out for Alice to bite off. "Mmm."

"Where did you get that?"

"Get what, Edward."

"The peanut butter. I've been looking for it everywhere. I finally went to get more the other day."

"Oh, sorry. I forgot. It was in the fridge."

"Why do you have peanut butter in the fridge?" Robert asked, looking at me skeptically as I stuck the celery stick back in it an bite off more.

"Because she's a freak of nature." Emmett informed bringing me into a head lock. I swatted him in the head with my celery.

"I am not. I just like cold condiments is all."

"Wait, didn't you freeze..."

"Ketchup. The freak of nature froze ketchup."

"Well there wasn't enough and we were having burgers and you know Human Garbage Disposal-" I said looking pointedly at Emmett. "has to have his food first and I didn't want it warm and the quickest way was the freezer."

Alice snorted, glancing back at Jasper. "Only she forgot to take it out after fifteen minutes. When dinner was ready she remembered and it was solid as a rock. Luck for us-with Emmett around-mom buys everything in bulk, so there was more."

"So did you use the warm ketchup?" Ben asked.

"No." Carlisle answered for me. "We had cereal."

"A whole box." Esme laughed.

"Hey, that silly little rabbit makes a mean product." We all laughed again.

"Alice, what are you doing?" Jasper asked.

"I need a bowl, but Edward cabinets are too high."

"Ever considered you're too short?" Emmett laughed.

Alice stopped reaching and turned around to glare at Emmett. "I am not too short."

"Height challenged then?" Sue added.

"Well, Edward, there's your immunity." Angela Announced.

"What did I ever do to deserve such a loving family?"

"Planned unnecessary parties, maybe?" Edward snickered.

"Murderous Makeovers."

"Told all my high school girlfriends their sense of style sucked."

"Maxed out the credit card in one weekend."

"Clipped my Rose bushes so your room could be more...what's the word...oh yes, festive."

"Whatever," Alice huffed, as she turned to reach to the bowls again.

"Boy, sounds like there's love in the air tonight."

"You just be happy you got your immunity, mister. I wouldn't start the happy dance too soon," I told Edward, as he scowled at me.

"Well if you hadn't stolen my car, I wou-"

"Give it up. If you were all that torn up about it, you should have not been in it-with the twin contraband in the back seat-low-jacked the car and taken me to headquarters to question my motives, Agent."

Apparently everyone had heard some version of how Edward became an Agent and that started a whole knew round of jokes on him this time.

"Alice, dear, let your father get the bowl." Alice swatted at Carlisle's hand as he went to reach above her.

"Alice, you're barely knee high to a chicken. Just stand back." I commented biting off more celery as everyone else laughed. Alice joined Edward's club for not liking my sense of humor tonight, but I could see the smile in her eyes and I knew all was well.

The rest of the night passed much of the same manor. We all sat around the kitchen talking and enjoying each other's company. When it came time for gifts, I thought Edward was going to have a heart attack. Everyone had gotten him a gag gift. Something _Sponge Bob_. Boxers. DVDs. Stuffed _Sponge Bob_. The list was endless.

**_* * *RMF* * *_**

_This is not my favorite chapter and I know I didn't go into a lot of detail like I usually do, but as you all know, most places I use in the story are real and the is a link to the **Experience Music Project & Science Fiction Museum** on my website. I may find a few pictures later on tonight to add to it...I don't know. _

_Also, thanks to **oh-my-edward-** for the word **abstruse**. _

**_A Million Orange Thanks to You All,  
Charley_**


	30. Heart

**Note:** I'm working on my writing style because it sucks worse than a _Dirt Devil_, so I went to third person unlimited. I haven't written in third person since I started this story and have never done unlimited, so I hope you don't get lost in translation.

**_Onward with the read..._**

_Saturday 21 June_

Bella woke early the next morning. Slipping carefully out of bed so not so wake Edward and crept around the room with minimal light. She had a few errands she wanted to run before it was too late and just wanted some time to herself to think about the previous day's events. If she was being truthful with herself-which she didn't seem to do very often these days-she could do what she needed to later. But the time and peace away from everything and everyone was what she wanted.

She had nothing of consequence to do.

Edward's chest rumbled lightly as he shifted in bed. A soft, warm touch on his stomach followed by even warmer lips that barely whispered across his for the most fleeting of moments. He reached out an arm, pulling Bella back to him. He knew she was leaving.

Though he'd never experience one, he knew that was a kiss goodbye. A kiss that said I'm leaving and I don't want to wake you. But the only thing he could think about was the leaving part.

"Go back to sleep."

"You first." Edward scooted to his left, bring Bella completely down on the bed so they were facing one another.

"I have to go." Edward pressed his lips firmly to hers in response. Hoping to convey his displeasure with her leaving so early. Also, he'd rarely kissed her since their night together and when he did, it was always small, fleeting kisses. He wasn't going to push her, but now, at this very moment, he felt the need to touch her. Feel her and have her feel him in return.

His need for her-in any manner-had grown so high that he could no longer hold back and apparently neither could she.

Bella moved her lips with his softly with just enough of an eager undercurrent to convey her need for him as well. Though she tried to hold back, not let herself be taken, she couldn't help but be completely and wholly immersed in Edward. She was utterly billowed in sybaritic luster of radiance. It drew her in like a title wave. She wrapped herself in him further, allowing the current of sensual delight take over.

"I'll be back a little later." Gasping, she placed her head in his shoulder. Shifting, she tried to get her barings back, but Edward just tightened his grip keeping her in place on top of him. Legs twisted.

"Errands. I have errands to run." she kept talking. Trying to bring back some semblance of-what she considered-normalcy. And lying on top of a man-no matter how attractive and wonderfully sexy he was-on an early Saturday morning was not her normal routine. It wasn't her normal anything.

"Stay with me. I'll get up and we'll all go." Edward kissed her neck, snuggling further into her as he pleaded. But just as quickly as her felt her open, he felt her closing off. It pained him to no end to know that she was still closing herself off to him, but there was hope. A glimmer. A ray of light in the midst. She could open herself to him, but there was something she didn't trust. Holding her back. Something she was afraid of. Be it herself or him he didn't know, but he knew now-no matter how transitory and scarcely-he new that he could reach her.

And he would never stop searching for that shine.

"Lunch. I'll be back by lunch, so don't cook anything, I have something in mind. And think about dinner." that he could deal with. Not that he had much of a choice in the matter. She was coming back and thinking about dinner. It meant he had the day with her.

Maybe he could push his luck and get one last Chance Card and get Sunday as well.

After he allowed her to go-begrudgingly so-he'd tried to go back to sleep. And failed miserably. This was the third time he'd stayed with her. Once when he found her wondering home in the middle of a storm and the other when they'd made love.

She hadn't had a chance to deny him the first time because she was in pain-what, he'd yet to figure out exactly. However, when they'd been together, she could have easily kicked him out of her bed, though he new she wasn't completely coherent at the time. He reasoned with himself that she hadn't _made _the decision to sleep with him. To stay in the same bed with him and last night she did. She came prepared and knowingly walked into his house with acceptance that she wasn't leaving and spending the night beside him in bed.

It made since in his head. She's showered. Readied herself for bed. Tucked in the boys with him and then tucked herself in his. Safely and securely in his bed and in his arms.

Figuring his father was probably at the hospital, he'd decided to call his mother to see how the made out. There was no point feigning sleep when all he could think about was the brown haired beauty.

"Edward, darling, how are you?" Esme answered the phone.

"Morning, mom. I didn't wake you did I?"

"No. Your father and I left Seattle a few hours ago and he actually just left for the hospital."

"You know you could have stayed with me last night, right? You didn't have to go to Alice and Jasper's place."

"Of course I do. But I think you and your family needed some time," she subtly hinted. "How did you enjoy your birthday?"

"It was fine. Aside for the woman I'm in love with poking fun at me with everyone else, it was just like last year. A big bowl of jokes with me in the middle." Edward answered so quickly that he hadn't even realized what he said until it was too late.

"Love?"

Edward didn't reply as he mulled over what he could say. Did he want to clear it up? Make up an excuse? Deflect? Though he knew that would never work. Esme was much too smart for that. Besides, he weighed, she probably new that before he did. Motherhood-apparently-had that kind of power.

He decided on the direct approach.

"Yes. I don't know that I ever had a choice and that scares me."

"Why are you scared? The two of you have something special."

"Because, mom. She's so...not really withdrawn, but closed off sometimes, I guess. Sometimes I think I'm seeing _her _and other times I see someone else and not her true self. I know she loves me or at the very least feels strongly about me. I think. But-"

"Don't second guess it. In your heart you know how she feels about you whether she's said it or not. Whether she's realized it or not, you know. You know by the way she looks at you. The way she loves and cares for my grandchildren. Looks after you and the things she does. Like yesterday. Only a woman in love can do what she did and probably ticked you off, yet you enjoyed every minute of it."

"But how can I be sure? I feel her distancing from me, mom. Two steps forward, three steps back. Five step forward, seven back. That's our game. One day she's not going to step forward again."

"Edward, you listen to me. I know there are things you want and need to know, but give it time. She's...strong, but she's weak in so many other places. Her emotions. Just be there for her and let her know how much you love her by your actions. Let your heart lead. Not the head. Her head is leading her and soon enough her heart will say enough and take over."

"You think?"

"Know. Now, what do you think about a nice peach with a touch of gold? Peach sun rise for the family room.

-RMF-

Bella pulled up to Edward's house a little after eleven. She was still...complacent, but she was steadied enough in herself to function without alerting Edward that she not herself. The last thing she wanted was to show any sigh of being off. She'd skated by-just barely-with the Mother's Day incident, which she was not out of his mind and she didn't want a repeat.

Compartmentalizing. That's what she was doing. And there was nothing wrong with that, she assured herself. She damn well had the right to compartmentalize if she wanted.

Before she could step out the car good, the boys were right there waiting for her. She was overjoyed to see them. They smelled of mud pies and kid shampoo, she thought, as she grasped them in a tight hug. They were the light of her life.

"Guess who I brought?" She turned and head back.

"Goober!" the boys jumped up and down as Goober barked from the back. His bark was deep and throaty like tumbling thunder over the hills and the boys' eyes widened at hearing the deafening sound for the first time.

"Is that a train or a dog you're letting out on my boys?"

"Come a little closer, Eddie, and find out. That is, if you're not scared."

Bella's answering smile to Edward's playful glare told him all he needed to know. She wasn't pulling from him-at that moment-but steadying herself in the middle. For now, he could deal with that.

"Boys, why don't you take Goober to the back yard and play a bit before lunch."

"Come on, Goob. Lets go play."

In the house, Edward leaned against the island counter, arms crossed, watching Bella as she took items out of her bags. Setting up a pot and cutting board. Taking out a glass pitcher, sugar and the limes he already had in the Frigidaire. She didn't speak as she moved around the kitchen. Like a pro. And he wondered, had she ever taken cooking classes. Had she not had such a love for books, he could see her in her own restaurant. Chef Bella, he mused.

"You think maybe you could come over here and stir this for me while I chop, so it doesn't burn." she started rolling limes on the counters to loosen the juices. "Unless you're too busy watching me that is."

Edward walked to the other side where she was standing, wrapped his arms around her and pressed his chest into lightly. She faltered in her rolling just enough that he could see he'd caught her off guard. Like he intended. Hoped. And succeeded

"I like watching you, but I'll stir so you don't kick me out."

"Smart man," she teased.

Taking the wooden spoon she'd sat on the counter, he began to stir the brown contents in the pot. "What...what is this. It smells good, but it looks worse."

"Gravy."

"It's brown."

"Well it comes in two colors. For today, I wanted brown. Added flavor."

"How? What did you make this from?"

"Here." she reached out a spoon to him having had it ready knowing he'd have something to say about it. All the Cullen children liked white gravy. Carlisle was the only one on her side when it came to switching it up a bit.

When all he did was look at it, she stuck it in the pot and held it up to him. Again, he just looked at it.

"Come _on._ It's not going to kill you." He shook his head. She could tell she was going to have to do this the hard way.

She tickled him.

When he opened his mouth to laugh, she took her chance.

"Mmmm."

"Told you. After making chicken or any meat that leaves behind bits in the pan, just add hot water to loosen, add flour and simmer. Instant gravy."

"Hmm. I'll have to try that one day."

"I think not, Chef Boyardee. I've seen you in action."

"Add what's that supposed to mean?" he asked, stepping up to her. Grabbing her around the waist.

Apparently he was still unable to control his need for her like this morning. He pressed her into the counter, staring her down wanting her to answer. When she didn't. Just looked at him, he leaned further down. "What are you trying to say about my cooking, Ms. Swan? And answer wisely, for it could be your-" he trailed a finger from under her chin to her collarbone. "-undoing."

Bella gulped. She brought her fingers to his lips and gently traced them with her ring finger. Edward closed his eyes loving the sensation it brought and licked his lips. Immediately regretting it.

"Ah, what?"

"Oh, I'm sorry," she apologized innocently. "Limes. I was squeezing limes."

Edward new she was anything but sorry. Two could play that game. He brought one of her lime juice covered hands to his mouth and licked off the juice. Not once wincing in the sour taste. And before she could register what he was doing, his lips to hers. Tasting her and allowing her to taste his normally caramel-like flavor tainted with the sour acidity of the lime.

His hands knotted in her shirt. Her hands pulling at his hair. He could feel the need she had for him, but she wasn't opening herself to him. Not the way she had been that morning. He knew he could bring her back. Bring her to the rapture he'd experienced once and now he was addicted. He wanted to feel _her._ His affair with her, her true self had been eye opening. Now that he knew that he could get to and bring forth a vitality he'd never felt in her in this manner, he was going to do it ever chance he got.

He thought, if he'd bring her to life enough times, maybe she's stay with him. Not retreat back.

Fight.

He lifted and spread her legs with his knee. Catching her off guard. Her warm center pressed against his thigh causing her throat to whistle at the deliciously attractive titillation. Her arms wrapped tighter around him and he could feel her opening to him. Slowly, but she was.

Wanting it to last as long as possible, her lifted her completely, her legs encasing him automatically and he walked her to the Frigidaire and pressed her into it. Pulling back, he received a whine in irritation. He kissed her lips again. Softly. She responded eagerly, but Edward kept the caressing of his lips soft. Light. Passion and intent was still painfully alive and attentive, but he did so, so that she could be in the now and consciously focus on him.

Leaning back a whisper length, he stared at her until she opened her eyes. He could see her now. Before he'd only felt her, but now he could see her. _Her._ His lips invited her in yet again, however he kept his eyes open. His fixation on her so intense he knew she'd want to block him out, but could bring herself to close her eyes.

She wasn't resisting, he thought. But for how long?

Easing back now, Edward stroked her face. She was still open, he noticed. Either out of shock or not realizing she was. Either way, he'd brought her to the surface again and she stayed. Even allowed him to keep her there. He was proud of himself. Elated. But he knew too much too soon wasn't what she needed.

"Better get back to the gravy. I wouldn't want to ruin it. You'd kick me out otherwise."

"Damn straight." _she _was back, he noticed. Not completely, but _she _was starting to take over again.

"What are we doing with it?" he asked as Bella turned on the broiled.

"Adding chopped turkey and smothering over toast. Henry used to eat it all the time with leftover turkey or chicken. It's good."

"Who's Henry? And ex?" Edward couldn't remember ever hearing about a Henry or anyone else other than her one male friend from when she was a child.

"Yeah...no! Henry is my grandfather. He's the one who taught me to cook. Judy, Judith my grandmother, never liked to cook, more so, because my grandfather was always particular, so one day she apparently told him if he was going to keep talking over her shoulder as she cooked, he could cook from then on. And he did. The only time she cooked was at the holidays."

Edward stood for a few beats, processing as he added the turkey to the gravy. This was the first time she'd ever talked about _anyone_ in her family. He didn't know anything about her past or family. It was a bit surreal for him to hear her speak so happily about her family. About anything, really. This was the most personal info she'd ever divulged.

A grandfather. She had a grandfather. Of course she had one, he thought. But she had someone in her life that she clearly loved and influenced her a great deal. He wondered what else Henry or even Judith influenced in her. The other people that meant something to her other than his family.

He decided not to question or comment on what she said. He was grateful for that little piece of info and tucked it away.

"Boys!" Bella called out the back door. "Lunch! Bring Goober."

The boys came barreling into the house like tornadoes. Dirt smudged faces and hands. Grass stains. And boy did they smell like the outside, she mused.

"To the bathroom, troops. Wash time. March."

"Aye Aye, Captain," Kevin saluted.

"Don't." she interjected before they could sing. "March. The toast is ready. Keep the stuff on low and I'll call down when to put the toast in the oven."

-RMF-

Lunch had been a crazy affair. The boys wanted to play in their food more that eat because it reminded them of mud pies. Goober decided to take harbor under Edward and kept wagging his tail every time the boys slipped him food and Edward would get slapped with his tail causing him to jump and the boys to laugh.

Now, outside, the boys rolled in the grass as Edward set up the hose for Goober's bath. It seemed-to him-an ordinary Saturday afternoon family thing to do. Lunch. Kids. Washing the dog. If he hadn't known any better, he'd have thought it was always like this.

Mom running her morning errands. Making lunch. Washing the dog as a family. And maybe a movie after they all gathered and had dinner they all helped to prepare. Edward couldn't help wondering what Bella thought of all this. In his mind, he knew that they were a family despite what actually was. And one day, he was determined to make it so. For real.

"Ahhh. Edward! You sprayed me."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Didn't mean to. Guess I didn't realize my finger was on the trigger." which was purposely aimed at her, she knew.

He'd pay for that, she promised herself.

"Are you going to tie him up?"

"Nope. Gooby here likes his bath and doesn't run. I usually bathe him in the guest bathroom, but he prefers outside so I'm sure he'll be good. This is a rare treat for him."

Washing a dog was another one of those crazy affairs, Bella thought. She'd seen the boys in action more than once and lunch had been one of those. And now they crawled around and growled causing Goober to bark, nudge and nip playfully as he played with the boys.

Goober had taken to the boys easily, she noticed. He was never an aggressive dog and always pretty lazy, but when they boys were around, he came out and showed out. He loved those two just as much as they loved him.

"We are never going to get him washed at this rate."

Without Edward noticing, Bella hoisted the small bucket they'd been using and poured the soapy dog water down Edward's back as the boys chased the dog. Frozen in place, Edward relaxed his shoulders after coming down from the shock of the nearly cold water washed over him.

Bella stifled a snicker as he turned around. Drenched.

"You're going to pay."

Bella made to run, but Edward grabbed her and turned the hose on her. "Ahhh! That's cold, Eddie." she wiggled out off his wet arms and started running for the boys, all the while chased by Edward like a mad man. She shouted and laughed each time he got her. She snatched up Kyle and used him as a shield.

"No daddy, don't shoot me!"

"Now, Edward." Bella soothed. "You wouldn't want to hurt Kyle now would you?"

"Put down the boy and back away slowly and I won't make this worse. You have to pay, Ms. Swan."

Kevin was gripping Goobers collar as he road in on his back. Arm raised with his imaginary sword. "I'll save you, mommy! Kyle prepare for attack!"

"I'm sorry, Edward." she wasn't sorry and she knew he didn't believe her as she laughed. "You looked...hot."

"It's Washington. We don't know the meaning of hot." Bella scoffed as he launched himself at his son and the woman he loved.

They'd stayed out for another hour. Fooling around and finally giving Goober another bath before going in. But giving the boys a bath...Bella shook her head as she went after Kevin who still evaded her grasp. Kyle had been easy and was being hosed down in the bath with Edward.

"Kevin," Bella sang out. She saw his feet pull hinder Edward bed. She slowly got on top, crawling to the other side. This was going to be easy, she knew. When she got to the end, she leaned over the edge quickly.

"Gotcha!"

"Ahhh!"

She'd caught him as his naked body emerged from the other side. "Bath time, mister."

"Mommy," he pouted. "I don't want a bath."

"Ha. Nice try, but you're still getting one. You smell like wet dog and grass."

"Uncle Emmett says boys are supposed to smell...rusty."

"Rustic." she knew Em's philosophy. "But you don't smell rustic, you just smell." she growled playfully.

With the boys finally settled down and watching Sponge Bob, she was finally able to shower. Edward had insisted she go in first since she wanted to get dinner started.

She leaned forward against the shower wall. Forehead on the tiles, water beating down on her back soothing her aching muscles. There were so many things to think about, yet she couldn't. She had fun today. She couldn't deny it. She loved spending the weekend with the boys with nowhere to go. All three of them, she admitted.

A knock on the shower door jolted her. It was Edward. Sliding it back just a smidgen, she stuck her face out. What did he want? It was stupid, she knew, to use the door as a shield. It was transparent-practically-and he'd probably gotten an eye full before he knocked.

"I was worried. You've been in here twenty minutes."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Guess I zoned out. I'll get out-"

"No. Stay, finish your shower. I was just making sure you were fine."

She nodded and closed the door, reaching for the soap and a towel. Another knock.

She stuck her head out again.

"Do...do you think I could...maybe join you? In the shower I mean." He stuttered. She'd never known him to stutter. And yet, there he was, stuttering in front of her. And it was then that she realized he only had on a towel.

She nodded and he dropped the towel. At that moment all she could think about was _Take My Breath Away._ As he stepped in. Naked. Closer to her. Who, too, was naked. In the shower. She dropped the towel and soap she was holding.

Breathe, she demanded herself. Just breathe. She couldn't grasp what was happening. She was in the shower. Naked. Check one. Edward was in the shower. Naked. With her. Double check. She'd never seen him naked and in all his glory. Well, at least not coherent and in the light. And, oh, what a sight it was.

She wanted to panic now as Edward replaced the soap and the towel back on the rack. He'd stepped closer to her now. Her chest against his. He kissed her lips as he ran his hands up her warm, wet sides making them feel inflamed. Once, she reflected on the past. Once they'd slept together. Once she'd had sex. Ever! She didn't know how to do it standing.

Stupid, she chastised. It was probably the same way lying down or any other way, she hissed thoughtfully. She wanted to worry, but for some reason, the worry didn't quite creep up her spine the way it normally did. Swift and chilling. Taking her captive. Making her a prisoner of her own mind. Preying on her fears, and consuming her in the worst case scenario.

But instead-to her surprise-Edward just leaned her back under the spray wetting her hair again. He reached for the shampoo she'd brought-or rather Alice packed and bought specifically to stay here-and began shampooing her hair. She hadn't expected that when he'd asked to join her. Maybe it was just a prelude to the big finish. But as the shower continued, all he did was wash her. Her hair. Her back and neck. Legs...everything.

He'd washed her head to toe, never talking his eyes from her.

* * *RMF* * *

_Thank you to __**Jessica-Bella**__ who had the idea of them washing Goober. Took me two months, but I did use it, thank you J-B.  
__"Take My Breath Away" is a song by Berlin from the movie "Top Gun" or some of you may know it by Jessica Simpson who redid it a few years ago.__I'm done.  
__Charley_


	31. Impossible

_**You know where to find it**_

_**Onward with the read…**_

**Saturday 2 August**

"Hey. Sorry I was late. Goober has a cold and is not cooperating with anything. He's worse than you when you're sick." Bella commented as she stepped into Alice's car.

"I'm not that bad."

"Please, Alice. Every time you catch even a sneeze, Jasper has to call me because you're such a pain in the ass. But we still love you, though."

"Thanks, it's so nice to know that. How are the boys? I haven't seen them in a couple of weeks."

"Well, they went back to the doctor on Friday. Kyle was having some pain, so we took them both in to be looked at. Dr. P says they should be out of the cast before school starts. They're young so their bones heal faster and they weren't that badly bruised and broken."

Alice began to talk about something, but she tuned her out as she remembered that fateful day, the day the boys called her mommy...in front of everyone.

**Friday 4 July**

"Hey, good lookin', what's cookin'?"

"Handsome with a side of annoying."

"Shut up, Alice. I was talking to Bella. And she doesn't think I'm annoying. Isn't that right?"

"Emmett, don't tell your sister to shut up."

"I think you are handsome, Em. Simply handsome."

"But, Bella!" Emmett whined. "I'm supposed to be the favorite. You love me. I'm funny. I'm handsome. I-"

"Just want to distract you so I can get some potato salad."

Bella only laughed at what Jasper said as he entered. It was so true. Emmett was only inside because everything outside went on the grill and wasn't ready to eat.

It had been a long time since Bella had spent a holiday like today with the Cullens or anyone for that matter. The women were in the kitchen making salad, potato salad, rolls and other barbecue worthy foods as they gossiped and caught themselves up on each others' lives. The men were outside, manning the grill while trying not to burn down the house.

The fourth had been one of Charlie's favorite holidays. He especially liked it because it was the one time Bella let him have double batter deep fried fish. Her usual pan fried, with just a little meal to coat it, didn't always suit his fancy. But Bella was determined to keep him as healthy as she could. 'A lot of good that did,' she thought. 'I should've let him enjoy his grease while he had the chance.'

_Cheer up, kiddo...we'll be back to the pan fried in a couple of weeks._

That all depends on how much fish you eat today, dad.

_Don't ration the fish, Bells by bell._

'Snap out of it!' She hated when she thought that way, but sometimes it got the best of her. She missed Charlie and Henry more on this holiday than any other. This was their holiday. Their day to be men and eat the way they wanted without their bossy little daughter and granddaughter monitoring their cholesterol levels. They could drink beer and shoot fire crackers and honor their country.

This would be the first Fourth of July she'd celebrated since... She wasn't sure how she felt about that-though she could guess-but she was going to make the most out of it.

"Bella," Esme called bringing her back, "how's work coming? Have they replaced the other editors yet?"

"We have one new executive editor, but I have to train him before he can take his allotted amount of editors. He seems like an okay guy, but I don't think he really gets it. I'm just kind of fed up with it all. My patience is not what it used to be." She dipped a spoon of mayo into the beans taking a bit as she thought about the day she had yesterday.

"He's new. You can't expect him to know everything and catch on so quickly. Jeez, you'd think you had no problem learning when you were in his position." Bella only waited a barely there beat before she responded as the others just stared at Rose.

"I don't think I'm so smart to have caught on to anything quickly, Rosalie. However, when you were in the same position at another company, have been at New Moon for going on two weeks now and still can't seem to grasp the job you should know how to do and supposedly were doing somewhere else, it's a problem." She normally wasn't one to comment on what Rose said, but for some reason, she couldn't hold back any longer.

"Rose, we don't know how things work at Bella's company, so-"

"I understand that, Alice, she makes it-"

"Girls."

"Rosalie, I don't make it sound like anything. It is what it is. He's been here for two weeks doing a job that he's been experienced in for five years and he can't understand the slight differences that set NMP apart from other publishing companies. That's a problem. And not one I'm pulling out of my-"

"MOMMY! MOMMY! MOMMY!"

Bella no longer had any interest in Rose's accusations of how she perceived the new hire as soon as she heard the boys calling for her. It was the first time they'd called her mommy in front of anyone other than Edward, but it wasn't a playful call. It was a painful, blood curdling cry that every mother dreaded to hear.

She headed to the back thankful that she hadn't tripped in her haste as she raced to the boys. The boys were on the ground and she could see Tanya cradled in Robert's arms as she cried. Edward and Jasper were on the ground with the boys as Carlisle raced past her back into the house.

"Edward, what happened? Are they okay?" she asked as she approached, kneeling down beside Jasper.

"Mommy. Mommy, it hurts."

"Pumpkin, what happened?" Bella was frantic as she looked at them lying on the ground crying, each cradling an arm. She gently moved the hair out of Kevin's eyes, too afraid to touch anywhere else for fear of hurting him further.

"They were playing in the tree with Tanya. I was watching them, I swear. I turned around for one second and...and...they were screaming for you. I...I don't-"

"Edward, calm down." Bella reached over the boys and placed a hand on his arm. She knew no matter how scared she was she needed to be strong, not only for the boys, but for Edward. He was always second guessing himself as a father. "They'll be okay. It's not your fault."

"Mommy," Kyle called, "we fell out of the tree. We were playing tree pirates and the branch broke and we fell before we could save Tanya."

"Alright, let me see." Carlisle had his bag in hand as he took his place on the other side of Jasper. He'd been caught off guard when they boys started screaming. He'd never been so scared. He didn't have these kinds of scares with his children, unless you counted Bella. She had fallen so often but it was rarely ever more than a bruise, scratch or sprain.

What was most surprising to him was what the boys had said. They called for their mommy. It was unexpected and natural at the same time. The boys had been hurt before-never this badly-but they never cried for their mother ever, for anything. Yet he knew, when they cried this time, they were crying for Bella. It made his heart swell that the boys considered Bella their mother and he was sure Bella felt the same.

Today meant so many things to him. He had his daughter back. She wasn't biologically his but, in every way that mattered, Bella was his daughter and it had been years since he had his _whole _family together. Ever since Charlie died, Bella had been a completely different person. Now she was here, where she belonged and starting a family of her own.

"Okay, I'm fairly certain their arms are broken, so, Emmett, bring Edward's car around and the rest of us will follow."

"No, I want mommy." Kevin started to cry again when Jasper picked him up.

"It's okay, Pumpkin, I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere. Uncle Jazz is going to carry you because he's big and strong, okay? But I'll be right here. Kyle?"

"Mommy. Daddy says you're going to hold us in the back."

"I will. Daddy and I will hold you while Auntie Ally and Uncle Jazz sit in the front to take us to the hospital." She assured Kyle as she grasped Edward's arm.

**Present**

"Bella. Bella, are you listening to me?"

"Sorry."

"Where were you? You completely zoned out on me. I've been calling your name for days."

Bella rolled her eyes. "Alice, must you be so dramatic? And where are we going anyway. You were so cryptic on the phone this morning."

"You'll see, but mostly, we're going shopping."

"Okay."

"Okay? Okay? Since when is shopping ever 'okay' with you?"

"Since today. Can we stop at Toys R Us? I need to get something for the boys."

Alice reached over and put her hand to Bella's forehead and neck. "Are you feeling okay?" She started checking her pulse to see if it was too slow or too fast.

Bella pushed her hand away. "Alice, I feel fine, thank you. Now stop it." Bella laughed. She knew it was unlike her not to object to one of Alice's many shopping sprees, but today, she didn't much mind it. And it saved her a trip to the store herself.

"What are you getting? Is it something else the boys wanted? And do I get to throw them a party now, please?"

"No. I went with Edward when he registered the boys for pre-k at a private charter school. I still haven't figured out why they're calling it private if it's charter, but okay. The boys are pretty advanced already, even for five year olds, so we're going to see if we can test them out and have them go straight to kindergarten."

"Didn't Kyle call pre-k baby school?"

Bella laughed along with Alice remembering when he said that. He'd stomped around the house in a fit not wanting to go to pre-k. "Yes and that is exactly why we're trying to get them bumped up a grade. They really don't need to be in pre-k. I want to get some electronic learning games for them and see how they like it. Edward's forbid me from getting anything with Sponge Bob."

"Killjoy."

"That's exactly what I said. And no, you can't throw them a party. They didn't want it and their birthday has passed anyway."

"But they're five. How can you guys have agreed to that? They don't know what they want. They ju-"

"They don't have any friends their age other than Tanya and weren't you the one always saying 'they're smart and know what they want. They're not regular little boys?'"

"You would remember that, wouldn't you?" Alice shook her head as she pulled into the mall. She did say it, but she didn't mean for it to backfire. She'd wanted so badly to throw the boys their first real birthday party. There was always next year and the boys would have plenty of friends to invite then.

However, she couldn't dwell on that. Despite the things that have happened and the time of year it was, Bella and Edward seemed to be moving along nicely in their relationship. The boys were calling her mommy and she could see that Bella felt like their mother. They were a real family. Edward was open and _fun _for once in his dull life. He got out and did things and spent more time with all of them.

But Bella was making the most change, though. She was smiling and laughing more. 'My best friend is back,' she thought happily. She'd hoped it would happen, but deep down, there was a part of her that feared she'd never have her Bella back. The one that protested fly fishing and went along with Emmett's stupid plans so he wouldn't be sad if she said no.

Bella was finally coming into her own and the tragedies of the past didn't seem like such a hindrance anymore. But maybe _this_ was the calm before the storm.

"What do you think about this one? It comes with a couple of games and there's no Sponge Bob." She rolled her eyes. "Or this one, it gets hooked up to the television like Em's XBox and has controllers. I think they'll like this more than the computer one. Hmmm, I'll just get both and a few different games for each."

Alice laughed to herself. She was doing exactly what she always does; asking questions not really looking for answers. Who knew, motherhood was all it took to get Bella to shop. 'I'd've had her knocked up years ago if I knew I could get her to the mall so easily.' Alice snorted at her thoughts. At least they'd get to raise children together, though she would have liked to have been pregnant with her best friend at the same time.

"Alice, look. It's the feign paint stuff. It only shows up on the special paper and nowhere else. Edward is so anal about colors. I think we need to stop by Home Depot to get some paint. The beige has to go. Nothing bright, just...not beige. Green. I like green."

"I bet."

"What's that?"

"Nothing, nothing at all. I like those."

"Me too. I think I'll get them all. Edward will be happy because nothing can actually get on anything. Let's go."

"Okay, one more stop and then my house."

"Hello." Bella answered after her phone rang. "No, we're still out, but I did get the stuff for the boys and this really neat paint set...yes neat and no, it's not-...stop being such a baby."

"Tell my brother to stop getting his panties in a bunch. That's why there's _Stanley Steamer_."

"He says there would be no need for _Stanley Steamer_ if you didn't give five year olds paint."

"And you wonder why they love Sponge Bob so much_. _You don't give them anything_ fun _to do. You're such a bore. Put him on speaker."

"Alice I am not a bore. There are rules."

"Rules schmules. Let them eat paint."

"Alice, it's cake. Let them eat cake."

"I don't know how you grew up to be such a tight ass with me and Em around."

"And there in lies the reason. Too much chaos growing up. And I am _not _a tight ass. Responsible is what I call it."

"Guys, it's no-" Bella let her head fall back as they bickered. Alice even took the phone and started yelling into it. It wasn't even real paint for Pete's sake. It was feign paint and yet there she sat. Listening to her best friend argue with her brother and the man she loved over feign paint which went off onto a tangent arguing about God knows what. She was sure that Alice was just saying stuff to egg Edward on.

But she couldn't blame her. Edward was too easily taken.

"GUYS!" she snatched the phone back. "Stop already, jeez. Alice, Edward is a tight ass but you could lay off him a little. He does the best he can."

"Oh, yeah, take up for your man." Alice huffed.

"Zip it. And you. Loosen up two notches and stop calling your sister a pixie nut."

"Ha."

"Ha back."

"Bella said you were a tight ass."

"She didn't deny you being a nut case."

"I am not."

"Are too."

"Am not."

"Are to-"

ZIP IT! Both of you."

"Sorry."

"You're both worse than the boys and its not real paint, Edward."

"Duh. Why else would it be neat, Edward?"

"No one asked you pixie princess."

"Goodbye, Edward. I'll call you when I get home."

"Bye."

"Was that really necessary?"

"No, but it was fun. He's too easy. You know it was funny."

"Right. Why are we at the pharmacy?"

"I need something and so do you."

"What's that?"

"This."

Bella looked at what Alice was standing in front of. In front of her were way too many pregnancy tests than any one person needed to choose from. It took her a minute to register what she meant by "I need something" and what they were standing in front of.

"You're pregnant!"

"Why, shout it to the world. And yes. Well, I think I am and I want to make sure before I say anything to Jasper. I've been eating everything in sight and last night I had a pickle and mayo sandwich."

"You hate pickles."

"My point exactly."

"But why do I need this, too?"

"Well you don't, but I don't want to do it by myself."

"Let me get this straight. You think you're pregnant. You want to take a home pregnancy test before you say anything to Jasper and you want me, who's not pregnant, to take one with you because you don't want to do it by yourself."

"It's not that hard to grasp, Bella, but yes." Alice grabbed two boxes and dragged Bella to the cashier.

"Is this all for you ma'am?"

"Yes."

"But why do I actually have to take it? I'll be with you, isn't that enough?"

"Bella," Alice whined, "you're turning into my brother. Just take the damn thing, okay? It's going to be negative, so who cares? No one."

"You're both taking a test and you're not pregnant."

"N-"

"She's never had sex. Ever."

"Alice," Bella hissed. She could be so tactless sometimes.

"What? You haven't. Maybe if you had some dick in your life, you wouldn't be so uptight about helping out your best friend since birth on what could be the biggest day of her life."

"We're leaving now. It's the hormones talking."

"I'm eighteen. I can help with that."

"I have four boys. And she thinks she's Ms. Cleo, sorry. Goodbye." Bella had a firm grip on Alice's arm as she dragged Mrs. Giggle Monkeys out of the _Walgreen's_. She couldn't believe her friend would do something like that. She could, but it was the principle of the point. She hoped to everything, and its holy counterpart, that Alice was pregnant. It would give her a reason for not killing her best friend.

She gently tossed Alice into the passenger's seat not trusting her to be all there upstairs to drive.

"Jesus, Alice. Hormones much?"

"Well."

**-RMF-**

"Bella, just give me the stick so I can pee on it."

"No. If all these stupid things were the same, they wouldn't have a hundred of them. I'm going to read the directions start to finish so you don't do something wrong and I have to be subjected to that debacle again. Now, you're going to sit right there and wait until I'm finished."

"You know, I liked you better when you were a smart ass."

"Careful what you wish for." Bella continued reading the instructions as Alice sat inside her and Jasper's tub waiting _im_patiently for her to finish.

She was kind of happy to be here with Alice doing this. She knew that Alice always wanted children, but she kept her emotions in check. Alice was finally calm again and she didn't want a repeat of hormones on the rampage.

She wondered if she wanted children. Technically, she had two boys, but having children-physically-was something that she dared not dream about after... She was afraid; afraid of all the possibilities. She was haunted everyday by what could and did happen to her. She never wanted to do that to her children and the easiest way not to do that was to simply not have any.

Kevin and Kyle were completely different though. She didn't have them, and yet these wonderful children waltzed right into her life and made a home in her heart. They were hers but she didn't know if she could protect them. If she walked away, she'd be doing the same thing that happened to her, but if she stayed... she didn't know what to do. Rock and a hard place.

"Okay, hold the stick under you, but not touching and pee on the stick. Do-"

"Bella, I know how to pee on a stick."

"Have you taken a pregnancy test before?" Silence. "Didn't think so. Now, do not over saturate the stick. Recap it and sit it level or flat rather for two to five minutes. Window will read pregnant for pregnant and not pregnant for not pregnant. Got it?"

Alice shook her head. Guess I got my wish. Bossy Bella. Better my bossy Bella than not living, smart ass Bella. But she could only smile as she peed to Bella's specific instructions.

"Alright. Your turn."

"You're serious?"

"Yes, now pee."

Bella took the stick that Alice had out for her and peed on it. She wasn't happy about it, but it wasn't like it was going to come out positive. It was just so stupid to be peeing on a perfectly good stick for no reason. There was going to be a woman looking for this one day and they were going to be all out because Alice couldn't pee by herself.

"Happy?"

"Yes."

"Alice, will you sit down? If you are pregnant, you're probably giving the baby a headache." Bella sat on the floor in front of the tub as she waited for the minutes to pass.

"Alice, check your stick. It's time."

"Here, you check yours, too." Alice's musical laugh rang through the bathroom as she glanced at her stick. "I'M PREGNANT! PREGNANT! Oh, Bella, can you hardly believe it?" She laughed as she launched herself at Bella. "Pregnant." She laughed again.

"Congratulations, Alice. I'm so happy for you."

"I have to call Jasper and tell him to come home." As Alice dashed out the bathroom, Bella settle back against the tub. She was happy for Alice, but sad at the same time. They were supposed to be pregnant together. It's what they planned as little girls, but that wasn't going to happen. I can't bring another into this world and curse them with my _fabulous _luck.

She let her head fall back onto the tub. She could hear Alice cryptically telling Jasper to come. In her peripheral vision, she could see her stick in the tub where Alice tossed it. She reached for it and turned it over in her hands.

"Bella, he'll be home in one hour. Hour and a half tops. I have to take you home and then set up the room. I want to set the mood. Ease him into it instead of just springing it on him. I'm sure he won't be surprised. I've been a little sick, but not much, off and on for a couple months really. But I think... Bella? What's wrong?"

Bella didn't look up. She just continued to stare at her hands. Alice sat down beside her, worried for her friend. She felt bad now. She'd been so happy about her news that she failed to realize how it would affect Bella. She knew no matter how much she denied it, Bella still wanted children deep down, but was still too scared.

She didn't understand why Bella couldn't separate herself from her mother and stop blaming herself for Charlie. But she knew how much those losses had affected her and would always play a role in how she lived her life.

"Bella, your children aren't going to be doomed."

"But..." She trailed off looking back at her hands.

Alice looked down at her hands now, starting to grasp them in comfort, but stopped.

_Pregnant._

*** * *RMF* * ***

**ORANGE SPRINKLES  
Charley  
**


	32. New Beginnings

**Thursday 7 August**

For a moment, Alice only sat there and looked at the pregnancy test in Bella's hands before she could launch herself into Bella's arms. "Oh, Bella, we're going to be pregnant together. Can you hardly believe it. Pregnant! Together!! I can't believe we actually got our wish."

Bella arms hung at her sides like limp chicken wings. She was...shocked! Pregnant. How could she be pregnant? Well, she knew how she could be pregnant, but it wasn't supposed to happen like this. Not after one try and it wasn't even a try. It wasn't supposed to happen at all. She wasn't supposed to get pregnant. Put down roots. She was Bella. Smart ass, I-never-want-to-get-married Bella. Not, loving mother of two now soon to be three or four if it's twins. The white picket fence wasn't in her future anymore. She'd gotten ove that childhood dream of soccer moms, PTA meetings and recitals.

'Shit! What am I supposed to do now?'

"Alice..."

"Bella," Alice leaned back a smidge to start rattling off their mommy todo list, but stopped short. "Pregnant? Bella, how...how are you pregnant? You're a virgin? Right?"

"Ummm..."

"Swan!" Bella stood up as the nurse called her back to see the doctor. She was glad to have the distraction. She couldn't think about it any longer. Alice's reaction had been...well, better than she had expected, but she was definitely not happy about hearing that her best friend lost her virginity and to her brother and not knowing about it.

"Step on the scale for me please. Are you allergic to any medications, hun?"

Bella answered all the necessary question and the few tests she took before she saw the doctor. She was nervous to find out if the test was a false positive or not. There was a very good chance it was. 'It's a home pregnancy test for Pete's sake. How accurate can they be? I haven't even missed a period.'

No, it couldn't be true according to her. There was no way that she was even pregnant after only _one _sexual encounter.

_"You sound like some high schooler who hasn't had the sex talk or has been educated on the subject. Bella, you're twenty-three, you know it only takes one time." _She remember Alice's words. She knew it was true, but she was really hoping it was a false positive and the Gods' way of telling her it wasn't good to keep things from Alice. After all, she had been more than pissed and hurt when Alice didn't tell her that Edward was her brother.

'But that was a completely different situation.' She reasoned with herself.

Knock. Knock.

"Hello, Bella. How are you? Didn't expect to see you here so soon?"

"Hi, Dr. Christianson." Bella was nervous, Dr. Christianson could tell.

"So, you're here to see it you're pregnant and you took a home pregnancy test, Correct?"

"Yes."

"How far along do you think you could be? Are you having morning sickness?"

"Well, you see, I didn't supect anything. My best friend made me take it with her becasue she expected she was. But there's no way I can be pregnant." Dr. Christianson cocked her head. "Well, there is, but it's a very slim chance and I haven't even missed a period or been late."

"Bella, theren are some cases were women have been known to still have their cycle well into their second trimaster. It's not common, but it's not unheard of either. The fact is, you are pregnat. I'm not sure whether to say congratulations or not, but you are very much pregnant." Dr. Christianson rose for her seat and went to one of the cabinets. "But I'm going to step out the room and let you change into this gown," she handed Bella the gown. "and then we'll do an ultra sound and then check you out to make sure everything is progressing smoothly."

Two hours later, Bella left the doctor's office with a bag in hand. Prenatal vitamins, mommy to be panflets, twenty pages on what not to do and eat and how to stay in good health while pregnant and and ultra sound picture of her two month old fetus with the dragonfly heartbeat.

'How am I going to tell Edward?'

---RMF---

"Hello!"

"Bell-a-rama! How's is shackin', hot cakes?"

"Emmett, how many cappuccinos have you had?" Bella asked as she walked into the Cullen house. Tonight was the night Alice and Jasper were going to tell anyone. She couldn't wait until the weekend to spill the beans and even more eager to find out if her test was a false positve or not.

"How did you know I had any? And waht so wrong with that?"

"You must have figured he had the caps. What did he call you this time?" Jasper asked as Bella and Emmett walked into the family room were everyone was at.

"Mommy!" the boys called.

"Bell-a-rama. How's is shckin' hot cakes," Bella mocked as she hugged the boys. "Hi, sweetties, did you have fun with daddy today!"

"We got to go to daddy's work with him. We never got to go there before, but he said with us being five, we were big boys, so we could go," Kevin explained, eyes big with even bigger hand gestures.

"Is that so?" Bella had Kyle on her hip as she hugged Esme as she came out the kitchen, then moving to kiss Carlise on the cheek.

"Yeah," Kyle assured. "And we met all the other ostrich people-"

"Orchestra," Edward corrected as Bella sat beside him, but a little further away than he expected. She kept her face cool, but he could tell by the way she kind of acknowledged he was there without actually doing it. Something was off, he knew. 'But what could have changed so quickly?'

"I know, that's what I said, _orshesterich_ and," he continued looking back to Bella. "we got to play daddy's work piano. It was shinny."

"But, mommy," Kyle started. "it was white. I don't like the white one. I like the one daddy has at home. The black one."

"I think I like that one too. I can see my face in it."

The boys continued to monopolize the conversation for the next twenty minutes before the went upstairs to play. Edward continued to watch Bella, as did Alice he noticed. Bella never made eye contact with him and only glanced at Alice for the most fleeting of moments. He couldn't understand why she was being so distance. She'd been that way alot, but somehow, this time seemed...off. She wasn't so much as closed off from him, he realized, but avoiding being close to him. As if she were afraid he'd see something.

'Maybe she and Alice are having some problems? It's not me, she's just...distracted. Yeah, that's it, distracted.' No matter how much he reasoned with himself, he still couldn't help but feel like something was very wrong, but for now, he wasn't going to worry himself about it. At least not too much. She'd come to him whe she was ready, he decided. The words of his mother ringing loud through his head once again.

_Her head is leading._

'Relax and she will come.' Edward snorted to himself. 'Yeah, that was a movie I didn't need to watch last night.'

"So, Jasper and I have news."

"Finally!"

"Emmett!" Esme chastised.

"What? It's about time they get married. Make a honest...well it's just time...OW! Rosie, what was that for."

"For being an idiot. You could at least let her announce her own information."

"No worries, I'm used to Em's idiocy by now, but that wasn't the news."

"So," Carlisle hedged.

"Well, Alice and I are pregnant."

A round of chorus sounded through the room as everyone rose to give congratulations and hugs to the happy parents to be.

"Bell, I'm going to be an uncle. Uncle. This is the best. Uncle Em in the house." Emmett picked Bella up and swung her around in glee.

"Em, you're already an uncle and I can't breath."

"EMMETT! Put Bella down right now! Down." Alice's voice rang high as she stared at how Em was holding Bella. From behind, arms wrapped around her mid section.

"Whoa. Dizzy a little bit."

"Here, come here and sit," Edward said as he took her hand. Anything to get contact with her. Also, he feared maybe she'd been sick with the way Alice yelled at Emmett.

"I'm okay now, thanks."

"Em, you idiot."

"Great, here comes the I'm-so-pregnant horomones. And can't I be excited? Yes, I know I'm an uncle already, but not from you. Would you have rather me kicked Jaspers ass for knocking you up? I can do that if you don't like me being happy about it. I can take him."

"Oh goodness. Settle down you two. Now one is taking anyone inside the house. Go outside if you want to be heathens. But," Esme continued as Emmett started to turn. "Not on your sister and Jasper's big night."

"Mom, just rain on my parade why dont ya."

"She'll rain on alot more if you keep at it. I'll get a bottle of sparkling cider for everyone. No more wine or alcohol period for you, young lady." Carlise kissed Alice's head. He had a wisteful look in his eyes as he walked away. His little girl was all grown up now.

After everyone settled down and started talking baby plans, surprisingly enough, the guys were very much into their own little talk about it all, Bella rose to go to the bathroom. But instead of going straight there, she headed to the front door. She crept out onto the porch and sat on the stone steps. Not two moments later, Alice opened the door. Bella didn't have to turn around to know it was her.

Esme and Carlisle never poked at Bella that way. They had an easy way about voicing their concerns for her without actualy saying anything. Emmett, she would have heard him coming three states away and Rosalie didn't like being in the same room with her much less seeking her out for comfort.

Jasper aways knew when to poke and it was never when anyone one else was around and she knew Edward well enough to know he wouldn't ask. Alice was the only logical choice, besides, she'd been giving her the eye all night waiting for the perfect moment to corner her. She'd been dreading this moment all night and hoped that she might hace actually slipped away un-noticed, but that was a futile wish, she knew.

But the one thing she had going for her was that Alice couldn't start yelling at her, not that she would. She took it pretty well before, but it was clear she was hurt.

"Why didn't you tell me? We're best friends." Alice asked. SHe hadn't gotten a chance to ask too many questions before because Bella jetted out of the house hailing a cab say she needed to leave so Alice could set up for Jasper. It had worked, only because Alice needed to talk to Jasper, but she knew she couldn't not talk to Alice for too long.

It was now or never.

"I don't know. Guess I'm still ajusting to it myself, Al."

"When?"

"The night before I found out Edward was your brother. I went to see the boys, but Esme had them and Edward forgot to call. We had dinner and watched a movie. I went to get water and he was watching me when I turned around. It just kind of...you know, from there."

But, Bella, why didn't you say anything? You never even hinted at it. Ever. We've been best friends since utero. And don't give me any of that "becasue he's your brother" mess."

"I know, Alice, and I'm sorry I shut you out. It's just, well...I can't...we just...it's..." Bella struggled to figure out why she hadn't told Alice. But when she thought about it, it didn't matter that he was her brother. That her brother was the one who really made her a woman. She was scared and afraid to admit that she was scared to herself.

Alice palced a hand on Bella's knee. "I understand." she gave her hand a tight rub. "You went to the doctor, right? What did she say? Was it false? Positive? What?"

"Two months."

"When are you going to tell Edward?" Bella sat there a minute before saying anything and when she opend her mouth, nothing came out. "You are going to tell him right? You can't not tell him. Bella, listen to me," Alice turned her body so she was better facing her and took Bella's hands in her making Bella look up. "You. You are not your mother, Bella. Look at how you are with the boys. That says something. It says something that you don't care for your mother...as a mother or a person. If you did like her, then you'd have something to worry about, but then you wouldn't care because you'd be just like her." She paused. refocusing herself as Bella looked away.

"I know Charlie-"

_What'da'ya say we go fishing today, kiddo._

"It's not about that," Bella tried to convince Alice, shacking her head from the distant memories she tried to bury deep.

"It is. You may not even fully know it, but, Bella, you are so closed. You're locked down tighter than three pregnant women holding a cookie shop up." It made no sense, she knew, but it did the job. Bella cracked a smile as she shoke her head.

"What's he going to say?"

"That he loves you and you know he does. That he's happy and can't wait to have this baby. You know him Bella. You always have."

"Promise not to tell him or anyone else, please."

"Only if you promise to tell him soon. He'll be hurt if he finds out and waited a long time and didn' tell him." Bella nodded her head just slightly as Alice encase her in her little arms.

---RMF---

**Friday 8 August**

(Ooga chaka. Ooga chaka. Ooga ooga ooga chaka) I can't stop this feeling... Ring. Ring. Ring.

"Hello." Bella answered the phone briskley.

"Bella, are you alright. I've been trying to ring you for a couple of minutes."

"No, sorry, Jen, I'm fine," Bella answered her new secratary. She lied. She wasn't fine, she was lossing her mind is what she was doing.

"Alright, if you say so. You have a phone all from a Mr. Cullen on two.

"Thank you, Jen." Bella hit two on her phone. "Hi, Edward. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, well, sort of."

"Sort of?"

"I need to drop the boys of with you for a couple hours. The house is flooded...from sewage."

"Edward, I'm so sorry, how did your house get flooded?"

"Not my house, Bella, yours. I went by to get Goober. The boys wanted to take him for a walk and there were trucks and working men everywhere. Your area is still on ceptic and they busted something and your house and the pink one have been flooded. Emmett is going to help me get your stuff out and over to my place."

"Jeez, okay, yeah, thanks. That's fine, bring them on by, I'll leave work early after I finish a few more things. Where are you?"

"Five minutes."

"Alright, I'll meet you down stairs, bye."

Sigh.

Bella took a couple minute to compose herself. What was she going to do with her house flooded. With poop. She wanted badly to ask to stay with Edward and she was sure he'd probably agree, but she didn't want to empose. He was taking her stuff, but she was sure that he was only doing that so she could have close. And of course, she would have to wash everything before she could wear them now.

She rose from her desk and started out of her office. "Jen, I'll be right back and can you let Mr. G. know I'll be leving at lunch for an emergency."

"Okay. Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, sort of. Just domething that I need to deal with."

"Mommy!" the boys shouted and started down the office followed by Edward.

"Do we get to be at work with you know now?" Kyle asked.

"Yeah, is your turn?" after Bella picked Kyle up and cought him into her for a hug.

"I guess so. It's pretty boring, though. Not going to as fun as daddy's work, but maybe we can leave early and go for ice cream."

The boys giggled in delight at the prospect of ice cream as Edward kissed Bella lightly, a hand place just over her lower back. "Hi."

"Edward, I-"

"Bella. Edward, so good to see you again." Angela gave Edward a hug and then rubbed her hands throught then boys' hair and continued on down the hallway. She had an easy way about herself, Edward thought. Not intrusive, but not distant either. Somewhere in a lovely middle is where she stood.

"Emmett's getting some boxes for all your stuff and Gobber is already at the house. Is there anything in particular that you need us to bring back."

"Mommy, which way is your office? Do you have an office? Can we see the office? I bet it's big, huh? You're smart so I know you have a big office, can we see it?"

Bella laughed. "Sure. See that door there," She pointed to the end of the hall. "That's my office. If you've been good-"

"We have." Kevin pipped in.

"Well, then there might be a bag in there with a surprise in it for you." The boys took off. "Um, all the parishables, of course. Oh jeez, I can't even think what I need."

Before Edward could coment, Mike showed up. "Hi, Bella. I heard you were leaving."

"No, not just yet, Michael. Do you need something?"

"Hmmm, I didn't know you had children. I thought you were single. You never said anything about children." he gave the most fleeting and hard of glances at Edward, who, had yet to speak or be introduced.

"Well, Michael, I don't feel the need to announce my personal business to co-workers, so yo-"

"Is this your husband? You don't where a ring."

"Yes. I'm Edward and she doesn't where a ring because she didn't want one and I respected that."

"Daddy," the boys interrupted. "Look what mommy bought us." Kyle said as Edward picked him up and Bella Kevin.

"Wow. Those are some big cars." Edward started to reach for the car. "I think I might have to keep that so-"

"No. Mommy bought them for us."

"He's just joking," Bella said as she laughed. "Will you excuse us Michael." Edward took Bella's hand in his as they walked toward the elevators. Mike stood there watching after them.

---RMF---

At _home_ now, Boys feed, bathed and in the bed early, Edward and Bella finshed unpacking her things and putting them away in the space he cleared in his dressers and closet. It was quiet as they works. As he hung her cloths that he and Emmett had brought over and Bella had instisted on washing, Bella continued to put away shirts and under garments in one of the dressers he'd cleared out for her. He assumed she'd wanted the quioet. The peace. He seemed to be right as she made no effort to start a conversation.

Something was still of, but what he didn't know. He desperately wanted to know what was plaguing her mind because whatever it was was plaguing him by not knowing. He didn't care if she told him what is was or not, but he needed her to talk to him. Her her voice, anything. He wasn't apposed to the quiet peace of it all, but he didn't like when they were that way because she was trouble by something.

But something else was troubling him and he figured that'd be his way in. "So, who is Michael? Is he just a co-worker?"

Bella turned around to stare at Edward as he picked up more cloths and diappeared into the closet again to hang them. The question had completely caught her off guard. They hadn't spoken since they put the boys to bed and the question seemed to have come out of left field.

As Edward imerged from the closet again, Bella saw something in his face. An easy smile slide onto her face and she turned back to the dresser. "Jealous."

Edward stopped short. "Um, no. He just seemed a little...off put, you could say, about the boys and myself, that's all. And not all together happy about it."

"Humph. Well, Mike has had a bit of an...fancy for me. Want what you can't have sort of thing, I think. And as I said to him, I don't share my personal life with co-workers. And the prosumption that he should know is laughable. I'm hardly ever there since I worked from home before this whole mess with Johnson. Michael is the fly at the family barbecue that doesn't realize the bug zapper is for him."

Edward laughed. "So I take it you never had a thing with him before then."

Bella snorted this time. "Jealous it is and didn't I tell you I never dated anyone before?"

"You did," Edward moved to stand behind her. He kissed the nap of her neck, breathing her in as she continued to straighten out the drawer. "but I still have a hard time believing it. So, how do you feel about the baby?" He asked moving away from her. Because he'd let her go, he didn't feel her body freeze in place and her blood run cold and her breathing shallow.

Crap, she thought. How'd he know about that?

She was at a loss for words for a moment as she tried to act normal--whatever that was. She hadn't thought about how she was going to tell him. She knew she couldn't wait long, but this was a little soon. Too soon. It was all too soon, but what could she do now?

"Um... see the thing is"

"You're not happy." Edward stopped, placed the cloths he was holding back down as he stared at Bella.

"It's not that I'm not happy. I am, I think."

"I thought you would be happy for Alice. She and Japer have been wanting a baby for a while."

"Oh," Bella sighed in relief. "no. It's nothing like that. It's just a surprise that's all. I'm just scared because I know I won't be getting out of shopping this time. She say something like 'but it's for the baby' and then make sure she has something for me because she can't have have the baby's Godmother dressing the way I do. That's Alice for you."

"It sounds like my sister. I wonder if she and Jasper will get married now. They said they didn't care about that thing and their love knew no paper bounds or something like that, but it could still happen." Edward stepped out the closet. Stopped and just stared at Bella. He didn't say a word, but just stared at her.

"What?" Bella felt uneasy with the way he was staring at her.

"I was just wondering," he paused, picked up more cloths heading back to the closet. Then continued. "if we had children."

"Do...do you want children. More, I mean."

he appeared again and instead of getting more cloths, the walked to her, wrapped her in his arms, kissed her hard, but passionately. "Yes."

"Edward, I..."

**---RMF---**

**Yeha, yeah, yeah. I know I'm the Big Bad Charley teases and leaves you with another cliffhanger, but hey, At least you guys only had to wait a week for another update. AND to ward of the flying monkey and butter knive and other various threats I might get for my sick sense of humor and torture, I'm currently working on the next chapter and if you all love me and this story, you might just have another update before weekends end.**


	33. Scared

_**Onward with the read... **_

**Saturday 9 August **

Bella sat in her truck outside Emmett's house. Edward and Robert were getting together and taking Tanya and the boys to Chucky Cheese for one of Sue and Robert's neighbors' child's birthday party who was supposed to be attending the same school as the boys.

She was stalling, she knew, as she rummaged through her bag. She didn't know what to do or what she was currently doing. She couldn't believe she nearly told Edward she was pregnant last night. Furthermore, she couldn't believe she hadn't. It was the perfect moment to do so. He made it clear that he wanted more children and if she was reading the signs correctly, he was saying he wanted them with her. Whether that was true or not, it was going to happen. Like it or not.

She finally stepped out the car and rang Emmett's door bell. She hoped Rosalie wouldn't answer the door. That was not someone she wanted to deal with at the moment. And apparently the odds were in her favor today.

"Bella! Hi, what are...Bella?" Emmett stopped short as he noticed Bella fully now. She hadn't been crying, he could tell, but she definitely wasn't okay.

"Hey, Emmett. Can I come in or would you like to go out and get an early lunch? If you and Rosalie aren't busy, that is."

"Hold on." Emmett turned around, leaving Bella at the door and went to tell Rose he'd be back later. 'There's an argument waiting to happen when I get back.' Emmett thought as he closed the door behind him.

The drive was silent and Emmett was worried now. Bella wasn't usually so silent with him unless there was something wrong. And she never showed up unannounced at his house, because of Rose he knew. He just wished he could figure out what Rose had against Bella. But as they pulled into the little Mexican restaurant they often went to together, Emmett focused back on Bella. They were seated at their usual table in the back and she ordered her usual and just looked down at the festive napkins on the table.

"Bella, talk to me. What's wrong?"

"I can't just come out with you once in a while?"

"You can, but this isn't one of those times. I love you, ya know."

"I know."

"So, talk, sister." He'd hoped that would bring a smile to her face as it usually did, but instead, when she looked back up at him, she had tears in her eyes. Emmett got up and slide into the booth seat beside Bella. He brought her head to his chest as the sobs took over her body. Emmett hated it when Bella cried and it wasn't often that she did, so when she did, she did for a reason. But he was afraid of what that reason would be. He couldn't handle it if something had happened to her.

He remember back to the last time Bella was a wreck and that was not an experience he wanted to repeat again. But he took solace in the fact that she came to him first. That she seemed him out before she did something stupid. And he also took added solace in the fact that she trusted in him enough to come to him and not Carlisle or Jasper. He was always deemed the goof-off and rarely taken serious. Some of that he knew was his fault, but it was just his nature to be upbeat about things.

Emmett saw the waitress making her way back to the table with their nachos, but he shook his head letting her know not to. She nodded her head in understanding and went back to the kitchen.

"Bella," Emmett started softly. "Talk to me. What's wrong? Isabella, look at me." He pleaded when she didn't speak.

At her full name she looked up. Her eyes were red and puffy. She looked broken and scared. "I'm...I'm..."

"What?" he asked wiping the tears from her eyes. Before she answered, the waitress came over with a bottle of water and some soft napkins for Bella's face. "Thanks."

"Em, I'm pregnant."

"Oh, Bella." He held her again. He wasn't sure what to say to her. It was family knowledge that Bella didn't want anything remotely close to that life. He knew better than anyone how much he past affected her. Better than Alice and therein lies the reason for his fear. He'd never told anyone what happen years ago. Why he was so distant. Why Bella was not in contact with anyone but him for nearly a week, not even Alice.

How would they react? He reacted. Overly so. Taking all sharp objects out of her house and calling her multiple times each hour. She'd scared him when he found her sitting at Charlie's grave with a knife in hand. They were no tears. No emotions on her face. That was worse than being a completely emotional. She wasn't anything for so long. At least is she was crying or hysterical, it would have been easier to get through to her.

But the calmness of her demeanor was frightening. She head was clear and she had made up her mind. Pleaded over and over again, it took him hours to break her before he could take the knife.

He'd never told anyone what Bella planned to do and was grateful he hadn't had to. She was safe now.

"Does Edward know?"

"I nearly told him last night. But I couldn't. I couldn't tell him, Em. I can't be a mother. I can't. I won't. It wasn't supposed to be this way. None of it."

"Bella, look at me, you are already a mother. You have two boys. How is another baby going to change that? You are an excellent mother and will be with the new addition. What are you so afraid of, Bella? I know you've heard it a million times, but you're not her. You won't end up like him and neither will they. And look at you, you already have a family. You're not the same."

"But what if-"

"No what ifs, Bella. You love him that much I know. You love my nephews that much I know, too. And Edward, he's love you since we were kids."

"Em..."

"It's the truth. You may not remember, but even though you and Edward weren't always together because you were with me or Alice or he was being all torn and gay about his music, you two had this way about yourselves when you were together. No one is asking you to strap on the ol' ball and chain, preggo, but don't be afraid." Bella was laughing a little by the end.

"Do you think he'll be happy? He said he wanted more, but I'm-"

"No buts. You'll be the perfect mother. You already are. And he'll be happy. Not because he's getting another crumb snatcher before he has a comb over, he has. Have you seen it? Right up front, that little spo-"

"Emmett." Emmett smiled at Bella's laugh as he wiped away her finishing tears.

"What? He's no spring chicken, honey." Emmett had an easy smile now. "He'll be happy because you'll be the one giving it to him. Besides, I could always twist his arm until he says daddy like I did when we were kids."

Bella laughed completely now as Emmett smiled. "Emmett..."

"What. That scrawny little tiddley winker. I can take him." Emmett waved the waitress down again and asked her to bring their order. "We need to eat. I'm starving. And we need to get back so I can get the twin tornados."

"You're taking the boys. Why?"

"Well, I'm thinking you'll want to tell Edward in private and discuss how you want to tell the boys. Beside, Edward will probably try and knock you up again when he finds out and kids have a way of messing that up at the perfect moment."

-RMF-

"Rosie, we're home!" Emmett yelled five hours later.

"Who is we?" Rose asked coming out the bedroom.

"Hi, Aunt Rose." The boys said as they went into the living room with their games.

"What are they doing here?"

"You act as if it's a problem to spend time with your nephews. And Bella needed the time, so I took them."

"Bella? Bella needed the time? Figures."

"What's that supposed to mean 'figures?'" Emmett asked as he walked away and into the living room. He hooked up the boys' learning game to the television and told them he'd be back with a snack.

"Emmett, why is it every time Bella shows up, you drop everything and go. And now they're here because she showed up unannounced and suckered you into to taking them for the night."

Emmett shifted and looked at his wife for a long moment. He didn't speak and neither did she. She was fuming he could tell. She was ready to cut into him, but he didn't want to deal with that tonight. She'd always had a problem and he couldn't figure out why. Deciding he wasn't going to push it for the moment, he worked on making the boys and his sandwiches.

"You ignoring me now?"

"So long as you're going to act like that, yes." Emmett was calm and his voice smooth as he answered. Continued to make sandwiches.

"You're sleeping on the couch."

"Oh, wait. I don't mind sleeping on the couch when I do something block-head worthy, but I'd like to know why I'll be there tonight instead of in my master bedroom in the house I pay the mortgage on every month in the bed I bought."

"She comes waltzing in here and you drop everything you were doing and run off with her."

"You make it sound like we're having an affair."

"Are you?" Rose asked indignantly.

Emmett stayed calm. "You know we're not. Bella is my sister and I love her. I wasn't...we weren't doing anything when she came here and Bella doesn't waltz into anywhere, so you're way off base. Try again. Second, I offered to take them. She didn't ask and didn't imply she needed me to take my brother's children for the night. One thing has nothing to do with the other. Keep going." Emmett continued to layer the sandwiches.

"Tell me what she wanted then."

"It's not my place to disclose that information." Emmett put the sandwich ingredients away. "Maybe if you were a little nicer to Bella from time to time, she might actually seek you out from time to time to talk, but since you're not and she doesn't, you'll have to wait until it's open knowledge."

"Emmett. She is completely selfish and does as she pleases. She comes in here, no notice, and you take off out of the house-"

"For a more than good reason."."

"I don't care. You should have discussed it with me."

"Like you discuss your nonexistent issues with her?"

"She destroyed you for no reason and you won't even tell me why."

"What are you talking about?"

"Six years ago, you left here my husband and returned a different man and I want to know why."

"Rose, it's not my place to talk about that." Emmett picked up the sandwiches he'd just cut and started to leave.

"Emmett."

"Look, Rosalie. I love you, I do, but whatever your problem with Bella is, you need to figure it out and get over it. I can't help you if you won't tell me why. I know you and everyone else want to know, but it's not my place to say. Not even to you. And Bella is the last person I would ever call selfish and if you took two seconds to talk and get to know her, you'd know that."

-RMF-

After Edward left to go to work after bringing the boys back from the birthday party, Emmett took them and Bella got right to work making dinner. She made a spiral ham with a cinnamon and brown sugar glaze, snap beans and potatoes au gratin. She was nervous to tell Edward. She loved him she knew, though she'd never said the words out loud. Too afraid to jinx herself. She wondered if cooking up a feast just short of Thanksgiving worthiness would fall under buttering up.

She had no reason to butter him up. He wanted more children. He'd said so himself the night before, but that was before he knew he knocked someone else up.

"Stop it. You're not knocked up. Just...simply pregnant. You're in a committed relationship, I think, with a man you love. Suck it up."

Ooga Chaka Ooga ooga ooga chaka...

"Stop it. You're cracking up. Next thing you know, you'll be seeing a baby with skill worthy of Ellen. Just keep it together. It's not as bad as it seems."

Bella continued to talk to herself for the duration of her cooking on and off. She was completely a nervous wreck now, she knew. And she wasn't helping herself my panicking. Just as she started to mix the ingredients for her dark chocolate ganoush icing, Edward walked through the door.

"What's the occasion?" he asked placing a kiss on Bella's neck, wrapping his arms around her. She turned in them, faced him and looked into his eyes. She wasn't sure what she was searching for and she couldn't be sure if she'd find it if she couldn't identify it, but she continued to look nonetheless.

Edward dipped his head, pressing his lips to hers in a firm passionate kiss. He'd waited all day for this. He waited a life time for this. Bella in his home. Their home. He'd come home and she'd be there. He only hoped they wouldn't fix the problem at her house too quickly. But if they did, he'd ask her to stay. To stay with him and the boys. He wasn't sure how that would go over with her, but he had to try. He had to keep her.

"Can I keep you, love."

Bella stilled at his endearment. It had been a while since he said it and she hoped it was a good sign that he liked the news she had for him because she still wasn't all that sure how she felt about. On some level, she was happy. Very happy, but the fear was still there. Front and center.

"You better go and wash up before I ruin this icing. It's good, you wouldn't want that. Dinner's ready."

"Back in fifteen."

And true to his word, fifteen minutes later, wet hair and smelling like vanilla and honey with a touch of manly rustic-ness, Edward walk back into the kitchen just as Bella tipped up a bit on her toes to take out the ham.

"Let me." Edward took the towel from her and effortlessly lifted out the ham and sat it on one of the open burners. "Smells good. Want some wine?"

"Um, red and just a bit." the French drank wine when they were pregnant, right? And red was good for you and she'd only have a sip. Edward could finish the rest. Her reasoning made sense to her in the grand scheme of things. No need alerting him to anything.

Candle light, soft music, light conversation and forty minutes later, they were snuggled on the coach with one plate, one fork and a slice of cake to share.

"This is delicious. Where did you get the recipe. I think my mom would like to have it."

"She does. But she usually makes the white version. I prefer dark chocolate ganoush over white chocolate. The recipe came from my Grandma Judy. Even though she hated cooking-when my grandfather was around to bug her-she loved baking. She was the baker, he was the cook. It's was a mix that worked for them."

"Well, thanks Grandma Judy." he held the fork upward and then put it to his lips as Bella laughed.

"I have something to tell you, Edward."

"Sounds serious." he commented as he put the plate down.

"Well, it's not that serious. It is, but it's not bad. I don't think. I mean..." Bella sighed at how bad she was messing this up. Why hadn't she just told him yesterday? She chickened out and couldn't. But now, she'd brought it up and couldn't back out. She wondered how long she could go without telling him. Contractions? Water breaking? Twenty-first birthday?

"Bella, you know you can tell me anything. No matter what it is, I'm here and I'll always listen. I lo-"

"I'm pregnant." Bella blurted out. Quick and fast like one of those cheap band aids. That hadn't been how she planned to do it. She wasn't sure just how she was, but it was supposed to involve pulling out the sonogram that had been in her car since she went to the doctor's office.

"Pardon?"

She reached over beside the coach where she stowed the bag she hadn't removed from her car since she got it. Reaching in, she removed the envelop of their baby's first picture and handed it to him. And she repeated. This time slowly. "I'm pregnant. Two months, but I guess you could have figured that out." she rambled. She wasn't a rambler, but she was now. She'd never been so as she watch a dozen emotions cross Edward's face.

He sat quietly staring down at his..._baby. _His fetus. Embryo? He really didn't care what the technical term for his unborn child was at two month, but all he knew was the he/she was his. His and Bella's. Theirs. He was going to be a father again. With Bella. He looked at her now. She was biting her lip, eyes glassy as she waited for his reaction.

He kissed her. He kissed hard, giving himself completely over to her. After a moment, he remembered he was dealing with a pregnant woman and his kiss softened to a gentle, passionate almost lazy kiss. A grin was upon his face when he pulled back to look at her now. Tears streaking her face as she stared back. He kissed her again. Her forehead. Cheeks. temples. Eyes. And then her lips again. Again. And again.

"Pregnant. You're pregnant. We're pregnant. This is wonderful news." Edward stared into Bella's eyes again. Just stared at her. The mother of his child...children and the love of his life. He stood, held out his hand to her. When she placed hers in his, he helped her up. Lifted her and took her to bed.

-RMF-

The dancing baby with skills the rival Ellen crack…the Ooga Chaka…that's in reference to Ally McBeal, if you know the show. I was a huge Ally McBeal fan when the show used to still air. I don't have it up yet, but next chapter I should have some pics and info on the website for you. Don't bother looking now, I won't do it tonight.

_**Thanks a million orange carrot cakes,  
Charley**_


	34. Secrets Revealed

_**Onward with the read….**_

**Tuesday 19 August**

The warm air surrounded Edward as he walked to his sister's door. He'd been floating on cloud nine since he found out Bella was pregnant. The whole family was happy, but he couldn't even explain how he felt inside. Euphoric was the only word closest to what he was feeling and even that barely tipped the ice berg. The sun was shining, birds chirping, wind blowing and it was all for him. Because of him. Nothing could bring him down from that and it was only bound to get better.

He'd seen his child. Heard the heart beat. Bella had insisted on going back to the doctor's office so he could have the same experience. He watched as the little blip on the monitor fluttered. And the heart beat. It was so fast. He'd missed out on this the first time around. Kevin and Kyle's biological mother hadn't wanted the boys from the start. She hated the idea of being pregnant and never wanted him to go.

But now, being there, seeing it first hand, watching Bella's face as the tears streamed down her rosy cheeks and her hand reach out to the monitor, he was in heaven. He'd have to see if the boys were allowed to see next time she had an appointment. And their reaction, that had been one for the books. He'd been a little worried about it, but at the same time, he knew that would take it well.

**Saturday 16 August **

"Kevin. Kyle. Can you boys come inside for a minute." Kevin and me were outside playing with Goober. He was here all the time now and it was great. And mommy was here all the time too. She slept in daddy's room. Daddy said it was their room now. Mommy and daddy's share rooms. I guess this finally means that mommy is our mommy for real real now since she shares a room with him now.

I hope she sleeps hard. I don't really know what it means to sleep hard, but Uncle Em said that daddy snored and that only people who sleep hard would be able to sleep. I never heard daddy snore. Uncle Jazz said he was pulling my leg, but he was sitting on the coach when he said it. I don't get it.

"Hi, daddy. Did you see? Kyle threw the ball and Goober went after it. With me on his back. He's fast daddy. Like a race horse."

"And about the same size."

"Daddy, can we have a horse?" I wanted to know. It would be cool to have a horse.

"You already have one."

"Edward." Mommy called.

"Absolutely not."

"But, daddy, horses are what knights need. You said so."

"Kevin, no hor-"

"Maybe we could get them lessons. There has to be a ranch with horse around here somewhere."

"Softy." Mommy laughed at daddy as we sat down. I didn't like the way they were looking at us. They didn't look mad, but the last time daddy sat down with us, he left for a whole two weeks. We got to stay with grandma, but we missed him. I hope mommy wasn't leaving. I didn't want them to leave. Kevin took my hand. I guess he thought the same thing.

"We have something to tell you two." Daddy started. Oh no.

"Daddy, mommy, don't leave." Kevin said.

"Come here." Mommy picked Kevin up and sat him on her lap and I sat on daddy's. "No one is going anywhere, okay? Daddy and I just want to tell you that…"

"Mommy is going to have a baby."

"Like Auntie Ally?"

"Yes, just like Auntie Ally. And that means you'll have a baby brother or sister." Daddy said.

"Mommy," Kevin said. "where do babies come from? Uncle Em said-"

"Whatever he said is wrong."

"Edward. Stop it."

"It's Emmett."

Mommy laughed at what daddy said. "I know." I didn't get it. Uncle Em is Uncle Em. What's funny?

"Uncle Em never got to tell us because Aunt Rose hit him and then Auntie Ally said that babies got dropped off at the hospital by a big stock bird."

"Stork. And…" mommy looked at daddy and daddy shock his head.

"We'll tell you when you're older." Daddy said. I guess it's only of those grown up things. They always say that when it's one of those grown up things, but me and Kevin turned five in July. We're big boys now, but I guess not big enough to know.

"So where is the baby?" mommy took my hand and place mine and Kevin's over her belly.

"Inside. The baby is inside." I hopped of daddy and got on the floor and lifted mommy's shirt. "Where. I don't see anything. He must be really small to fit in there."

Kevin knocked softly on mommy's belly. "Hello? Are you my sister or my brother? What's your favorite color."

"Oh, ask if he likes dogs. Goober's the greatest." Mommy just laughed at us as daddy kissed her head. I didn't know what was funny. Some people don't like dogs. Tanya was afraid of Goober at first because he was so big, but he's really nice. I thought it was a good question. Kevin's too.

**Present **

"Hey, Edward." Alice said answering the door and letting him in.

"I spoke to Jasper this morning and he said you came home early. I wanted to know if I could talk to you about something."

"Sure," Alice took a seat next to Edward. "Is something wrong? Bella?"

"No. Nothing like that, really. She's been great. She seems really happy about the baby and even a little excited about going shopping with you this weekend. But I want your opinion on something since you know Bella better than I do. There are a lot of things I don't remember about her and even more that I don't know about and I get that I can't know right now, but I need something."

"Edward, it's not-"

"I'm not asking you to tell me anything, but just tell me what you think about this." Edward took a deep breath and reached in his pocket, pulling out a box. "I've had this a while. Longer than I probably should have, but I want to ask Bella to marry me. I don't want her to leave when her house is in order. I want the boys to be legally hers. I want her Alice. I always have, it just took me a little while to remember that part. But I know that there're some things Bella is…apprehensive about and I don't want her pull away from me again. I just got her, I can't lose her."

"Edward…" Alice was at a loss for words. She was ecstatic that Edward wanted to propose and she was sure that Bella loved him, but would she allow herself that much happiness? Would she look forward instead of backwards for answers? Trust herself instead of relying on past events to pave her future?

Alice had a choice to make. It was a choice she didn't want to make and the last time she did something like this for the greater good, it most certainly backfired, but she had to believe there was a chance. And she had to be the one to give it.

"How much do you remember about Bella from when we were kids? How much has she told you about herself and family?"

"Well…I know that she was always at our house. I vaguely remember Charlie. Henry even less. She was always beautiful and she never knew it or believed it. I loved her, even then. I wanted this. What we have now, what I want to come. I wanted it. Always." Edward paused as he stood and paced the room. He ran his hands through his hair a couple of times.

"She hasn't told me anything really. She told me about Henry and Judy. How they were. That he fished and she baked more than cooked. I think Judy was a seamstress. Her father, I know he's dead. How, I don't know. When we first met, she said something that said he was killed in the line of duty, but what I don't know. And her mom, I have no memory of her and she's never says a thing about her, so I think she's dead too, right? I would think so considering the way I found her." Edward said the last part more to himself that to Alice.

"What do you mean the way you found her?"

"You don't know?" Alice shook her head. "On Mother's Day. When we left to see Bella so the boys could give their gift to her, she wasn't in the house. The door was open, I couldn't find her. I tried to call, but there was a storm and power was out." Edward turned to the window running his fingers through his hair remembering that day. He'd never been so scared in his life. So worried.

"I found her hours later coming home, walking through the rain. She never told me why."

Alice sighed heavily. "Edward, come sit by me please. Bella will kill me—again—for this, but you need to know. Something at least. Charlie was killed in the line of duty. More like murdered. That's how she sees it and I can't all together blame her for that, but she blames herself and that I can't agree with. I don't know all the detail because I wasn't there and she never told me what happened. I think Emmett is the only one who knows.

"But what I do know isn't pretty."

**Saturday 12 October 2000**

"Hey, dad. What's up?"

"Alice-"

"Dad, what's wrong. You don't sound right." My dad was never…unnerved and that scared me. He was always a stilled forced. Calm and commanding in any situation.

"Alice, get to Forks First Community Bank and quick. I'll explain when you get there." I hung up and quickly made my way into town. I woke up having a bad feeling, but I thought it was due to the fact that I had a flat tire. Now I know it was something else. Something bad happened at the bank. Maybe Mrs. Downing had another heart attack. But when I pulled up to the bank, there were cops, fire trucks and ambulances everywhere.

I got out the car and tried to get past, but it was hard seeing how as all the police were being asses about it. I wasn't in danger. Whatever was happening was inside the bank.

"Ma'am, there is a-"

"First, I'm not old enough to be anybody's ma'am.. Second, I know there's a situation and if you don't move, I'm-"

"Alice."

"Dad." When the cop realized I was Dr. Cullen's daughter, he let some through. "What happened, dad?"

"Alice," he touched my shoulder to stop me. Turned. "There were some drifters in town. Been here a couple days. They held up the bank…Bella was inside." My eyes started to tear. I could see the pain in his eyes. More so, the death. There was death in his eyes and though I felt bad for anyone that died, I hoped it wasn't Bella. "So was Charlie." He didn't tell me anymore as he led me to the entrance. What I saw broke my heart.

There weren't many people inside. Police. Paramedics. And Bella. She was on her knees with Charlie's head cradled across her thighs. Blood all over her hands and shirt. There wasn't a place on Charlie that didn't have blood.

"Daddy," Bella sobbed. Her body shacking as she tried to stop the blood coming from him stomach. A paramedic tried to come near Bella as she held him. "Somebody help him please. Daddy."

"Hey there, kiddo. No worries, okay? I'll be fine." Charlie tried to raise a hand to Bella's cheek and she caught it and brought it the rest of the way up. More blood smearing her face as the tears washed it away. "No." Charlie said as he moved his head to look at Dell, the towns head paramedic.

"Dad, please. Please, dad. I'm so sorry." Bella cried more. I'd never seen her so broken. I thought it was bad when Henry died, but this was much worse. I just stood there and watched my best friend and sister watch her father die in her arms. I say the life and everything that was Bella leave as Charlie's hand fell limp from Bella's face with his final words.

"Love you, kiddo."

"Daddy…" Bella sobbed as she leaned over Charlie, her head resting on his heart as she cried.

**Present**

"That was the year we graduated from high school. She was never the same after that. Besides us, Henry and Charlie were her life. And her mother has never been much of a mother."

"She's alive?"

"Yes. She's why you found Bella in the rain that day. She never told me you were there, but then again, she never told me her mother stopped in. Their relationship is pretty much nonexistent and she does anything she can to get under Bella's skin. But Bella doesn't tell me what she says or does.

"She lives in Phoenix. When Bella was a baby, Renee left and never came back. Bella never heard from her again until she was about ten. Told her Charlie stole her and that he and Henry were no good and left with her. They were in court battles for a few years before Bella came back. That's why you don't remember her too well. Henry died then too. He had cancer and when she finally came home, he died shortly after. They had to pull the plug."

Edward sat there and let what Alice had just told him sink in. It all made so much since. Her distance. Reluctance to talk about anything from her past. She was in pain and hadn't let go of what she'd lost. Edward's heart ached.

"Edward, I can't tell you what to do or how to do it, but she loves you. That's all you need to know. Everything else will fall in place."

* * *RMF* * *

Okay, shutting up now with orange duck tape,  
Charley


	35. First Day Sadness

_**Onward with the read…**_

**Tuesday 2 September**

It had been a couple of weeks since Edward had spoken to Alice about proposing to Bella and he wasn't altogether sure he felt any better about it. He loved her that much he knew. And he was sure Bella loved him…or at least he thought he was sure of that. Alice said that she was in love with him and who was he to disagree? She'd known her better than he did for the past decade or so. And boy, he sure hoped Alice was right. He was ready to officially start his life with her. Marry her and have their baby, raise their children and grow old together.

But Edward being Edward, and knowing what he did about Bella now, was apprehensive of how he wanted to propose. If it were up to him, he would shout it from the rooftops if it would convince Bella enough that their love would stand the test of time. That their love could conquer all unlike any in all of history. They'd be together for eternity. But he couldn't do that. He needed to ease her into it. Let her get used to the idea. Perhaps getting her thoughts on marriage would help. Couples talked about the future, children and marriage all the time.

After all, they _were _a couple having a baby and she considered the boys hers already. What more was there except to seal the deal with a wedding. They'd already fallen right into a nice little routine every night. Though Bella's house repairs were nearly done, there'd been no talk of her moving back in anytime soon. There'd been no talk at all. Bella had a desk set up right next to his in his home office. He'd asked her if she wanted to move into the other room, but she'd declined. She said she liked being in there with him and listening to him make music as she worked. "Besides," she said, "where would the baby sleep?"

She'd muttered it to herself and he was sure he wasn't supposed to hear that part. Then he wondered, did that mean she wanted to stay or just when she and/or the baby stayed over. He really needed to figure out their living arrangements because over thinking it was giving him a crinkle right between the eyes. Alice's assessment.

Why couldn't things be simpler? The way they used to be. Just sit and talk, no pretenses and no worries.

**Saturday 4 September 1993  
Bella age 9/Alice age 9  
Edward age 13/Emmett age 16**

_Bella walked into the Victorian style home and relished in the warmth that swarmed around her as she closed the door. She could hear Emmett in the din shouting at the television as he lost another game on his Sega since he broke the Nintendo two weeks before by throwing it at the wall when the game beat him. She hadn't planned on coming over that day, Alice wanted to go and get a "beauty treatment", as she called it, at the mall and Bella opted out of going after much pleading and a couple sacrifices to allow Alice to make her over later with no argument._

_She'd wanted to spend the day with Henry hearing more stories of his youth, but Charlie got talked into fishing by Billy, though it couldn't really be fair to call it "getting talked into" since Charlie was always ready to fish. Never mind the fact there was a game on—that could be taped—or that it was raining cats and dogs—plus, the weather forecast reported a storm, but it was Washington. Nothing new there. With fish on the brain, Henry was automatically in, but Bella had had enough of killing endless fish for sport. There was more than enough in the deep freeze to last a life time._

_To her it was inhumane._

_Though it was raining, Bella wanted to walk to the Cullen's house. It wasn't one of her smartest ideas considering she fell a couple times on the way there, but it was a nice day out and still early enough that it wouldn't take too much time out of her day. Besides, Alice and Esme were gone and no one would be home except Emmett maybe Anthony—as Edward wanted everyone to call him by his middle name now—and Carlisle would probably be at the hospital since it was Saturday._

"Bella." Bella looked to her left to see Carlisle standing there.

"_Carlisle, what are you doing home?"_

_He laughed as he continued down the stairs and headed toward the kitchen with Bella. "Not happy to see me?" he pouted._

"_No. I just didn't expect to see you so early. You're usually at the hospital helping people." She said turning red. She hadn't meant it to sound the way it came out and she desperately tried to clear it up._

"_No, it's fine," he laughed. "I filled in for one of the doctors earlier this week, so I got the whole day off." He paused and held up a jar of mayo. Bella shook her head. Carlisle knew Bella hated mayo and just liked mustard on sandwiches. "So, what are you up to today? Alice and Esme are at the mall and I'm guessing you somehow got out of that."_

_Bella smiled. "Yeah, I didn't want a 'beauty treatment,'" she said using air quotes as Carlisle just laughed. His daughter was one of a kind. "But, I have to let her make me over completely for school on Monday. Charlie and Henry went fishing, so I thought I'd come over and read a book from the library." Carlisle laid a turkey sandwich in front of Bella. "Thanks."_

_They sat there for half an hour just talking about how school was going with the start of the year as they ate their turkey sandwiches. When they were done, Carlisle and Bella went upstairs to his study. He went back to work, while Bella found a book to read and went back down stairs to sit with Emmett while she read. Though he rarely needed it, she knew he'd appreciated the company. But as she headed down the stairs, she heard the faint sounds of Anthony's piano going. Her mind told her to keep on going to the din to sit with Emmett and not bother Anthony, but she couldn't resist. Something tugged at her to go in his music room with the great view of the woods in the back and the stream that flowed nearby that Emmett always tried to throw her in. _

_She slid one of the doors open to peek in promising herself that she'd just look for a minute and not bother him, but when she saw him in there, hair expertly tasseled, jeans, black polo and the cute little black socks with multi-colored music notes on them that she given him, she smiled and quietly went into the room against her own will. Her body was working against her and she wasn't going to fight it. She slid the door back quietly and took a seat on the black suede love seat behind him hoping he hadn't heard her._

_She watched him closely for a moment. The way his head tilted down slightly as he played never looking at the music sheet in front of him. His fingers as they glided over the keys and the muscles in his arms contracting with each pass of the notes. She decided she ogled him long enough and staring at the back of his head for too long would alert him to her presence as she would be burning a hole there, so she read. _

_Little did she know, Anthony knew she was there. He'd known she was there from the moment she made her was down the drive. He'd heard her candid conversation with his dad and heard when she entered. He figured he wouldn't say anything just yet since she obviously wanted to keep her presence unknown from him for the moment. But of course, he didn't mind one bit that she was there. In fact, he enjoyed her company quite a bit, yet, he was rarely in it. He knew she hated to disturb him especially when he was playing, but she was always a calming force for his nerves when she was around. So often he was "a tortured soul" as Emmett would call it over his music._

_He didn't think of himself as tortured, just…dedicated to the best possible creation._

"_Enjoying the weather, Bella?" he heard her squeak behind him, startled that he'd spoken. He smiled widely._

"_Um…no." _

"_Thought so."_

"_I didn't mean to disturb you, Anthony. I can leave." _

_When she started to get up, Anthony figured she probably hadn't realized that she'd been in there with him for over an hour. "No, you don't have to leave," he started as he stopped playing and turned to her. "You're not disturbing me. I like the company and besides," he shrugged as if it were no big deal and spoke casually, "you rarely come to see me when you're here."_

"_Well, you know Alice."_

"_That I do." Anthony stood and walked over to Bella and sat beside her on the love seat. He mused then, love seat. Fitting, he thought. Maybe. One day perhaps._

**Present **

"We're here." Edward parked the car and got out as the boys started to unbuckle themselves from the back. Bella was just opening the door when he reached her and he held out his hand to help her up from the car.

Bella moved behind Edward as he closed her door. She opened the already popped trunk and took out the boys' bags they'd picked out a couple of weeks before. They'd been so excited about starting school and Kevin was especially excited that Tanya would be attending the same school they were. They'd packed and unpacked their little Sponge Bob backpacks, taking out their crayon boxes with the sharpener in the back, folders and their Sponge Bob hardback lunch boxes with the thermos inside to match; much to Edward's displeasure.

Bella had laughed at Edward telling him not to be a spoil sport when he tried to talk the boys into getting Spiderman bags instead. "Look boys, Spiderman. He can crawl on walls and shoot webbing. Cool, huh?"

"But Sponge Bob lives under water," Kyle said. "In a pineapple…under the sea!" he added.

"Or maybe Batman. He's coming back, too. He's like a bat. And the bat-mobile, it goes fast."

"But Sponge Bob is a sponge in square pants. That's cool, daddy." Kevin replied in return.

Poor Edward rolled his eyes when the boys reached greedily for their bags from Bella. "Stop, it's cute and you know it," Bella scolded as she helped the boys put their arms through the straps as Edward snapped a couple pictures behind them. Bella had insisted on them, and when Esme caught wind of Bella wanting pictures, she all but threatened Edward if he didn't take them.

"Alright, let's have a look at you. Tie straight." She straightened their ties, though they were already straight, but Edward wasn't going to say anything. "Shirts tucked." Bella lifted their sweaters of their uniforms to check their shirts even though she'd dressed them, checked before she had them put on their sweaters and once more before they got in the car to leave, but Edward wasn't going mention that either.

"Let me make sure you laces are tied," she added after she pulled their sweaters down and took three minutes too long to straighten those out as the boys stood there patiently not saying a word.

"Okay, love, that's enough," he interjected as she started at the shoes. "You triple tied them before we left. I can't untie those, so I think they're good.

Tears started to sting her eyes. "I just wanted to make sure they don't trip or anything," she said as she took a step back.

"Boys, do you have everything?"

"Yes, daddy. What time do we come home?" Kyle asked hugging Edward after Kevin did.

"We'll both be here at two o'clock sharp. Promise," Bella choked out as she pulled back from Kevin, smoothing out his cloths once more. "Have a good day boys, learn lots."

Edward wrapped both his arms around Bella, careful of her stomach, as they stood in front of the three story building as the boys ran to the entrance. Tears dropped on Edward's arms. He leaned down and kissed them away from her cheek. "S'okay, love, they'll be fine."

"First time?" a woman asked from beside them.

"Yes," Edward answered for both of them.

"I have four, my youngest started pre-k two years ago, never gets easier to send them off for the first time." She laughed as she looked back at the building.

"Wonderful." Bella's sadly sarcastic tone alerted him to how much this affected her. He wondered if it was pregnancy hormones, her love for the boys or something to do with her past and letting them go. Maybe all three he decided and making it all the more harder for her. He rubbed her stomach and Bella leaned her head back as she continued to stare at the door the boys had disappeared through moments before.

The woman next to them had notice Edward's massage. "Congratulations."

Bella looked over at the woman and then back at her stomach and then again at her. "Thank you."

"Mommy!" the boys shouted as they ran out of the school and back towards them.

Bella dropped to her knees as the boys reached her, her arms out to catch them as Edward squatted behind her. "What's wrong? Did something happen?" she asked franticly. A couple other parents were still outside the school and the woman they'd been talking to was still there. They looked on at the scene in worry, hoping nothing had happened.

"We forgot to say goodbye," Kyle announced.

"What?"

The boys crouched down on their knees, leaned in and kissed Bella's Stomach. "Bye baby brother or sister. We'll be back later and tell you all about school so you know what's going to happen when you get here, okay?"

Tears pooled in Bella's eyes as she hugged the boys tightly to her. A couple parents looked on in awe while other mothers cried at the touching scene before them. "Love you."

"Love you, too, Mommy. Daddy. Bye." Kyle said and they ran off again.

"Come on, love." Bella was still on her knees, tears pouring, hands clasped in front of her mouth as she stared at the door. It was then that Edward knew it had to do more with what had happened to her and not so much as pregnancy hormones or her love for the boys, though, those reasons just made it harder for her to let them go.

*** * *RMF * * ***

"Hey," Edward said to Emmett and Jasper as they walked in. He was sitting at his piano working on a special piece. Bella had started working from home three days a week after she found out she was pregnant. She needed to go into the office today for a half day (because of the boys) for a meeting then she'd be back.

Edward thought he'd spend some time with the guys since they didn't have to work and he wanted an opinion. He loved and respected Alice, but sometimes, he couldn't get a straight answer. It wasn't that he was pessimistic, but her over exuberance in optimism was not what he wanted. He needed an honest answer aside from what was wanted and believed could happen.

"Eddie, my man, what's up? Where's my Belly Bell?"

"Edward," Jasper greeted.

"You know she works Mondays and Tuesdays in the office."

"But I thought she was taking the day off with today being the boys' first day of school," Jasper added.

"We dropped them off and then I dropped her off at the office before coming home. She's doing a half day and had an early meeting. I'll be getting her before I go to get the boys."

"So, how'd dropping of the rug-rats in the prison they pass of as a school go? They're starting kindergarten, right? I can't believe they just skipped up like that, but I guess not with such a big vocabulary. Gifted children you have there Edward."

Edward sighed as he turned from the piano.

"Edward, what's up, you don't look so…you look gloomy."

"Yeah, you didn't even give me crap for calling you Eddie. What's up, bro?" Emmett slid to the edge of his seat on the couch and stared hard at Edward.

"It was a bit of a disaster."

"What happened?"

"I spoke to Alice a couple weeks ago…"

"She told you didn't she?"

Edward looked up at Emmett. "She told me about what happened at the bank. That was the funeral you all went to while I was away at school. Bella's father was shot. It explains so much, but I'm worried."

"Why, has she said something?" Emmett's tone alerted Edward that Emmett did indeed know something the rest of them didn't know, but he wasn't going to broach that subject just yet.

"She fell apart. Right there in front of me, she fell apart. It was the first time I ever saw her that way and I know it had more to do with that than with it being the boys' first day and the hormones." Edward ran his hands through his hair. He was frustrated. He felt like he was over-reacting a little. That it wasn't as bad as he was making it out to be. She was fine after five minutes in the car and assured him that she couldn't believe the boys were so grown up, but he saw something in her eyes. He remembered Alice's memory of that day. What Jasper had told him on Father's Day.

He couldn't imagine what could be worse than watching the woman you love fall apart and not be able to do anything about it because you're not supposed to know why she's that way. Not supposed to know that there is something to fall apart over.

Emmett spoke slowly and calmly now. "Ed, man, are you sure it wasn't just the hormones and the boys going to school?" He, too, was worried. If what Edward said was true, then she wasn't as okay as he thought. She'd practically been glowing from every angle when they announced they were pregnant. Esme was glowing and he'd never seen Bella talk so animatedly about anything with her. She was truly happy about the baby and Emmett thought that this, a baby, two boys and Edward…being back together with the family fully would be what brought Bella back, but now, he saw, this was just adding to it.

She needed to face it head on and stop running because it would always catch up with her and now it seemed it was. He knew this could all be great, but if Bella continued to deal with this loss the same she always had—not at all—life wasn't going to be as joyous as it should be.

"I saw the look, Em. It was just horomones. She looked so broken in that moment. I just want to help and not make things worse and I don't know how to do that if she doesn't talk to me."

"Edward," Jasper started leaning back in his seat on the other end of the couch. He looked directly at Edward and spoke assuredly to him. "Maybe you haven't picked up on it because you haven't been around Bella the way we have in the past six years, but she changed over the past few months. Alice had nearly given up all hope to have the Bella she knew back and you know how Alice is. She never gives up on anything, but she almost did, which is why she fought like hell to keep you two from knowing who the other was in the beginning.

"I didn't agree with it, but Alice will be Alice, but she did some good. She just hasn't seen the fruits of her labor just yet, but she will as you will too. In about seven months. You're helping her, not hurting."

"Yes, but will she marry me?"

"Marry?" That wasn't what Emmett expected. That was a conversation turner that caught him completely by surprise. "What do you mean marry?"

Edward stood and left the room. A minute later he returned and sat on the table in front of them and held out a box. "I've had this for a while."

"How long is a while," Emmett asked.

"June."

They guys sat there for a minute just looking at one another. No one said anything as Edward's word sunk in further. Marriage. Edward wanted to marry Bella. Have babies—or more babies with her and raise the ones they already had. He wanted to spend his life with her. Emmett felt a tidal wave of shock, but at the same time, he knew he should have expected it.

Stupidly, he hadn't thought much about their relationship as it pertained to marriage. Bella had always been Bella and he'd learned to take her as she came and for quite some time, the way she came was, I don't want to get married. It was silly really not to have thought of this. She loved the boys and having a baby now.

It made sense.

Jasper on the other hand wasn't all that surprised. He knew it would happen sooner or later but he hadn't expected him to have had the ring this long. The only thing he worried about was Bella trying to rationalize Edward's proposal with the baby.

**-RMF-**

_So there you go. I hoped you enjoyed.  
Maybe some of you picked up on the Nintendo and Sega in the flashback, but remember, it was the nineties. There was no Nintendo 64 or X-Box or Wii back then. For those of you old enough to remember that, remember when it wouldn't play and you had to take it out blow and put it back in…laughs. Don't you just love the good ol' days? Or the original Game Boy. That big ass thing. I had a red one._

Million Orange Thanks!

Charley


	36. Decisions

_*Tissue Alert*_

_**Onward with the read…**_

**Friday 12 September**

Frustrated from her last phone call, Bella decided she wasn't going to do anymore work for the day. With the boys and being pregnant, Bella no longer had the luxury of being able to work early in the morning. For starters, she had been sleeping better with Edward. She slept through the night now which was still new for her and the pregnancy tired her out quite a bit especially with a full day with the boys.

Edward was at his piano in the living area saying that his keyboard wasn't giving him the sound he wanted. So, she decided she would go down there and lie on the couch and rest a bit while he played. She crept down the stairs slowly so not to trip more than ever now, and settled herself behind him as his melody consumed her.

She loved to listen to him play and had missed it dearly over the past years.

Edward stopped playing noticing it was time to leave for practice. When he turned around, Bella was fast asleep on the couch. He'd known she was there the whole time, but she had a way of just slipping in and not saying anything so she wouldn't disturb him. No matter how many times he told her, she still believed she distracted him which wasn't all together untrue. Had she spoken to him, he'd gladly have stopped playing to sit and read with her.

He took the dry erase board from the fridge and wrote her a quick note setting a flower over top and then on the table in front of her so she could see it when she woke. He placed the afghan that was on the couch over her, pressed a hand to her growing belly and then his lips to her forehead.

Bella stirred. She stretched her arms over her head, her throw falling off in the process. She hadn't remembered putting that over herself, but figured Edward must have. She smiled at the little things he'd always done for her. She looked around and noticed he was gone and wondered how long she slept, but before she could even think about that, the boys popped into her mind. She had to get them from school and she was late, she knew.

She shot up and before she could get her keys and such, she saw the note Edward had left for her.

_Love,  
Went to practice  
Called mom to get the boys, they'll stay with her tonight and we'll get them tomorrow  
Rest well,  
E_

She smiled once more at another of the little things he did for her and the flower. She couldn't help but pick it put and smell it before putting it back in the vase on top of the piano.

After she settle down she called Esme and then called Alice, Angela and Sue to see if they'd had lunch yet. Angela, she was sure, was still at the office with it being just after one. When she was in the office, they'd been known to take late lunches most days getting caught up in work.

They were all free. Alice had been on the phone arguing with a distributor because he thought it was okay to send the winter line a week late. Angela was in meetings all morning and she thought that was a fine way to spend a Friday morning which Bella found funny much to Angie's displeasure. And Sue had just finished a job and was ready for a break. They'd spent the better part of an hour and a half sitting at in a deli sipping coffee—decaf tea for Bella—and eating sandwiches as they talked.

After they were finally ready to go, Alice had demanded that Bella go to a baby store so she'd have an idea of some of the things she wanted. After looking around for a while, Bella found the cutest unisex onesies and booties along with a couple of books on relaxation methods for pregnant mothers.

As she walked out of the store, she bumped right into someone not paying attention because she was excited she found something without Alice. Something Alice would approve of.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I wasn't lo-"

"Bella?"

Bella looked up as he handed her things to her. She couldn't believe her eyes. He'd grown—if possible considering he had two yards of legs before—and his face had matured, but it was him she was sure. Still as handsome, hair still long, but cut a bit shorter to his shoulders.

"Jake. Wh-what are you doing here?" He didn't bother answering her as her hugged her close surprised and happy to see her after so long. It had been six long years since he'd seen his best friend. Bella was reluctant to hug him back, he could tell. She'd hesitated, but he didn't care. Though, once she'd brought her arms around him, she'd hugged him close and tight.

A small sob escaped her as a tear hit his shoulder though the thin material of his shirt. "Bella, it's so good to see you," he started pulling back from her to get a good look. "Have lunch with me so we can catch up."

"I've already had lunch, but I'll sit with you." Happy that she'd agreed, they'd head to the same deli she's eaten at earlier wrapping his arm around her.

"Hello, what can I get for you today?" the cashier asked, but then paused and looked at Bella. "What can I get for you again, then?" he laughed.

"Nothing for me, he's eating." She said poking her thumb at Jacob. He ordered and his food was ready pretty quickly, but Bella—being pregnant and around food, she ordered herself a ham deli roll which she was suddenly craving.

"So, how have you been Jake? Do you live in the city now?"

"I've been good. Can't complain. Went to school and opened a garage in Forks. The only other one was in Port Angeles and I'm sure you remember how expensive they were and I have a couple mechanics that are good. You remember Quil and Embry don't you?"

"I haven't seen them in years."

"Yeah, they and a couple others work with me. I'd thought about opening an antique garage since antique cars are booming in the industry right now, but I didn't want to do it before because of dad. He's been sick and Forks isn't the best place for that and I don't want to leave him."

"I'm sorry, Jake. I didn't know. How is he?"

Jake laughed. Lighthearted as he'd always been, she remembered. "He's fine now. Great actually and driving again. Got his little handicap sticker and think he's something now. But when I brought him to the hospital here for surgery last year, one of the nurses, Vanessa-we've been together a while now-and I've been coming into the city a lot. I've been thinking about opening the shop here now that dad is in better condition and he and Sue have been getting close, though, he'll never admit it the old coot." Jacob laughed as he remember how his father had practically flown out of the room avoiding talking about how much time he and Sue had been spending together.

"I miss Billy."

"You'll have to come and see him. I'm sure he'll be excited to see you and Quil and Embry, too. But enough about me, I want to know about you."

"Not much to tell." Bella ducked her head. After all this time, Bella was still the same in not liking to talk about herself. Jake smiled inwardly at that.

"So, is that baby bag for you or someone else, Ms. Not Much To Tell?"

Bella sighed, but couldn't help but the smile that graced her lips. "Me. Well, me and Alice. Alice is just over five months pregnant, looks about three, and I'm almost four."

"Congrats Bells." Jake stood up and hugged Bella.

"Thanks."

"So, who's the father? Are you married yet?"

"No, not married. Edward Cullen, Alice's older brother, he's the father. We've been…together a little while now." Bella looked down, ashamed for some reason. She couldn't pinpoint why she felt that way, but she did.

"So, you and Alice still close." It wasn't a question Bella realized. Through everything, she failed to stay in contact with Jacob and Billy. It was too hard for her. They were so close to the life she lived with them. It wasn't the same with the Cullens. Though they all got along, Jake and Billy held more of who Henry and Charlie were to her and being near them or in contact reminded her too much of what she'd lost. She was grateful that Jacob had a way of not letting things go back then.

They sat and talked a little longer until Edward called. He'd come home and was worried about her and Alice said she'd left her hours before. Bella was thankful for the call. It wasn't that she wasn't happy to see Jake, she was very delighted about the reconnection in fact, but the thoughts they brought to her were not ones she was ready to have...ever.

Being with Jake again reminded her of what the past held. The life she lived…the one she so dearly missed and the people that were a part of it. She'd wondered how different her life would be if things had happened differently. Would she be happier? Of course, she thought as she made her way into the house, she'd be happier. She would have had at least one of them. She'd have Charlie. She couldn't change Henry having cancer, no more than she could have changed the devil mother swooping in and taking her for her own sick purposes to get back at Charlie and not allowing her the time she missed with him. But she could have changed what happened to Charlie.

That was, in her mind, entirely her fault.

Bella stood at the front door, tears rolling down her face as she thought of the day that most changed her life. She'd lost all hope that day. She'd lost herself in the pain and allowed it to overtake her. The pain won, she knew. She thought she was supposed to feel the way she did, that it was a way of penance. She deserved to be in the pain of that day.

"Bella." Edward wrapped his arms around her. He'd heard her pull up, but when he didn't hear her come up or call to him, he went to find her and found her sobbing in the foyer. "Bella, love, what is it? Come, come sit down and tell me what happened." Edward walked her slowly to the couch, never removing his hold on her. She leaned into him as the tears continued to fall. After a moment, she leaned back and wiped her face.

"Nothing. It's just hormones, that's all," she spoke softly trying to laugh a little but failed horribly.

Edward started to just nod his head, but thought better against it. He needed to know. Something was wrong. Something or someone had cause her pain and he was going to do anything to sooth her. But more so, he just needed her to talk to him. He needed her to know that she could tell him anything that she needed to no matter how silly or stupid she thought it was.

"No, Bella. It's more than hormones. I can see that written all over your face. Talk to me," he pleaded, rubbing his hand from the top of her head down her face slowly. "Why won't you talk to me? I'm here, I've always been here and I'll never leave you, Bella. Trust me."

A new round of tears flooded Bella as Edward's words encased over her. How could he promise that…that he could guarantee that he'd never leave her. It might not even be by choice, he could easily be taken from her. That's what scared her most, that she'd love him and he'd leave. She did in fact love him, but saying the words out loud scared her. As if the moment she said them, Edward would disappear forever.

"Don't leave me."

Edward placed his hands on either side of her face. "Why would I leave you? I love you."

Bella sobbed harder. She'd wanted him to love her. Alice said he did and she wanted so desperately to tell him the same in return, but she couldn't let go of the fear long enough to let the words slip from her lips.

"Talk to me, Bella. What happened?"

"J-Jake, I saw Jake today."

Edward froze. Who was Jake? "Who?"

"My friend from Forks. He's whose clothes you borrowed. I saw him."

"Did something happen? Did he hurt you?" Edward growled the last part as anger quickly seeped through him at the thought of someone hurting her. He didn't care who he was, if he'd hurt her, he'd have to pay.

"No. He was my dearest friend. I stopped talking to him after…after…Charlie."

"Why?"

**Saturday 14 October 2000**

_Crap! _

_Again, Bella woke up later than she wanted to. She had spent most of the night out with Alice in Seattle. She'd insisted on going to the club with Emmet and his girlfriend and her brother. Alice claimed she hadn't had enough time with her "dear brother," but she knew it was because she wanted to see Jasper. After all, she'd secretly been dating him. Alice thought she was stupid, but Bella could plainly see the sparks flying between them whenever he was around._

_Bella didn't feel too bad about Alice not telling her. She knew the real reason anyway. Jasper, like his twin sister and Emmett, were six years older than they were. He was twenty-five and she was barely nineteen. She was sure Alice didn't want to say anything about it until after her birthday. She doubted it had anything to do with Emmett. She could handle Emmett, but she'd want to protect Jasper—since they'd been dating secretly since she was seventeen—and bring it to her parents the right way. They'd respect that, though, they knew both Rosalie and Jasper well and doubted they'd have a problem._

_Bella quickly dressed and grabbed something to eat and headed to the bank before two. She'd meant to go last week, but lost track of time and completely forgot to go._

_It was a long day. Long and boring as per usual. Forks never had any trouble other than the occasional party too loud or Mr. Hangler having one too many beers and deciding to walk down Main Street in his tighty whities. The last time he tried to get Mr. Hangler home, he grabbed Charlie and started teaching him the tango—which he didn't know himself. _

_Charlie smiled to himself as he remembered that night. It had been the highlight of the day…the week really and Chuck had been mortified the next day when he woke up to find out he had a dance partner in his under garments. Took him a while to live that one down. Didn't help that he delivered the mail and that he knew most of the people in town on a personal level and they all knew about his moonlight, award winning dip with the Chief._

"_Chief," Ann called as she poked her head in the door. "I had the calls transferred to your phone. I have a doctor's appointment, shouldn't take too long."_

"_No problem, Ann. I'm sure I can hold down the fort while you're out. After all, I am Chief." Ann laughed as she walked out. Charlie dealt himself another hand of solitaire and began to match the cards up accordingly. After his second game, one of his deputies came barreling in._

"_Chief!"_

"_Yeah, Duke?"_

"_It's the bank. There's a robbery. Shelly Housemen was in the back and called."_

_Chief Swan kicked into action. "Call for back up with the Port Angeles Downtown Precinct."_

_Chief Swan gathered his gear and his two other deputies and head over to Forks First Community. The light spun and the sirens blared as they raced the short distance between the police station and the bank. It was the few times like these that Charlie was grateful he lived in a small town with minimal crime levels. The last time he had to call for back up, they needed paramedics. It wasn't something he liked to deal with. They were a small town and close people who looked out for one another and when there was a loss, it was a loss for the town._

_Charlie expertly fishtailed the cruiser into place outside the bank. He knew it would be about another twenty minute or so before the PAPD would arrive. So, he and the deputies started setting up what they had to make contact with the robbers inside. But before he could get very far, something in the far corner of the parking lot caught his attention._

_A beat up old red truck._

"_I want you all to get on the ground and put you faces in your hands. NOW!"_

"_I'm pregnant. I can't be on my stomach. Please," Mrs. Parker pleaded. The robber pointed his gun at her, not caring about her unborn child. Bella, who was standing in front of her in line, grabbed her hand._

"_Come on. It's okay." She helped lower her to the floor keep an eye on the man with the gun. She helped Sheryl shift so that she was on her side with her face rested in her arms._

_More sirens blared outside and Bella new it was the PAPD. She worried how Charlie would take knowing she was inside. All she wanted to do was get back to him in one piece. Hold him and tell him how much she loved him. She'd told him that every day, but now, somehow it didn't seem enough and she prayed she'd get out alive to see him again._

_The phone rang as the two men walked around the room. They looked at each other trying to figure out if they were going to answer it. The leader of the other two answered the phone and demanded a helicopter and safe passage out of the state. He figured all they had to do was get across the border and they'd be home free._

"_What…no, you don't get to ask questions. We want a helicopter out front. Two hours or you start ordering body bags!" He slammed the phone down on the receiver and pulled the plug out of the wall. "We need to get out of here. I don't like this little ass town anymore."_

"_Well, this little ass town is our best way of getting the money and going free, so don't start fucking up on me. Hold your shit together and all will be fine."_

"_Don't you people ever watch movies?" Mr. Tucker asked. He was an older man with salt and pepper hair. He figured he'd lived his life and he was an old man and joining his late wife a little earlier than he promised her was okay with him. If the rest of the young people and dear Mrs. Parker and her unborn baby could get out, he'd die a happy man, so he spoke up again. "You never fair well in these situations. Do you really think they'll give you an-"_

"_Shut up old man! Unless you want to die."_

"_Like you said, I'm an old man and there's only two ways you'll be leaving. One of those body bags you told them to order or hand cuffs."_

"_What. Did. I. Tell. You?"_

"_I'm betting one of you will be in the body bag."_

"_I told you to shut your mouth!" he said as he raised his hand in one swift and fluid motion. He flicked his thumb over the side of the gun releasing the safety and shot. The gun shot sounded through the building, echoing off the walls. Most of the people screamed at the deafening sound of the gun as they shielded themselves from the trigger happy gunman in front of them. A child started to cry as his mother shielded him from sight._

"_Mr. Tucker!" Bella called as she rose from her place not even thinking about the gunman now. She raced over to him. "Mr. Tucker?" she sobbed._

"_What the FUCK! I told you to keep that shit on safety. Who the hell authorized you to shoot him?"_

"_Last time I check, you don't run shit, Boss Man. And the old man was irritating the shit out of me. Next time," he directed his comment to the old man now. "It won't be your knee."_

"_Mr. Tucker," Bella whispered. "Are…are you…let me see." Bella wanted to ask how he was, but refrained from that. It was pointless; she knew he was in pain._

"_Ah, Bella, my dear, don't worry about me. The good Lord will work it out for me. Besides, My Peggy is waiting for me."_

"_No, you will hold on. No one is dying in here." Bella looked around—as the men continued to argue—for something to tie off on his knee as she pressed her hands to him. He winced and she looked apologetically at him for causing even more pain, but she knew she needed to stop the blood. Blood. She finally thought about the blood and the scent—rust and salt—attacked her senses. She closed her eyes as she concentrated on not fainting right there._

"_Bella, it's okay. You can let go. I know you're-"_

"_No. I'll be fine." She demanded looking back at him now._

"_Just as stubborn as your father. You're a good girl." He slowly reached into his pocket and pulled something out for Bella._

_Bella sighed as she smiled softly. "And you're an even better man with a big mouth and a death wish."_

_He laughed at the irony of what she said. "Maybe."_

_Another phone behind and office desk started ringing, but the men didn't make a move to answer it for a moment. After a minute when it was still ringing, Boss Man entered the room to answer it and the other stood outside the door to keep an eye on everyone else._

"_Bella, here, use this to tie around him." John, one of the tellers said as he took off his tie. "Harry, let's have your tie, too. And Mr. Edwards, you, too, please." The men hurriedly took them off and tossed them over as they tried to tie his leg up to stop the bleeding._

"_Shut up or the next time this gun goes off, it won't be a leg wound." Mr. Trigger Happy said as he left the room._

"_He's bleeding!" Bella yelled in frustration. Mr. Tucker had been good friend with Henry and always gave her Werther's Candy anytime she saw him. Even now as a young adult, he still had something for her. "Look at me, I'm covered in blood. His blood." With fury flying off of her, Bella was no longer bothered by the blood on her cloths and hands. The rust and salt mixture that always made her faint was not very potent at the moment either._

"_He's going to die because you guys don't want to get a job and work, but instead steal other hard working peoples' money because you're lazy asses." Bella could hardly believe she'd just stood up to these robbers with loaded guns, but she was just so furious. The more she looked around at the people on the ground, the woman and her son, pregnant Mrs. Parker with her two girls and husband waiting at home and poor Mr. Tucker…she couldn't bring herself to regret her outburst. _

"_You, big mouth, are going to be made an example of." Mr. Trigger Happy stepped up to her and grabbed her by the hair and dragged her to the front door. Bella whimpered in pain as his grasp on her tightened as he kicked the door open._

"_BELLA!" Charlie called as he saw his daughter being held by her hair and a gun to her neck._

"_Daddy," she whimpered._

"_Shut up, bitch."_

"_RELEASE THE GIRL!" a voice called over a loud speaker._

"_If you want this little bitch released and not in a body bag, then someone needs to get me my plane," he demanded in a gruff voice as he pushed the gun further into Bella's neck. She whimpered and reached for her father as she was being pulled back inside._

"_Bella!"_

"_Dad!" Bella choked out as she was flung inside and onto the floor roughly._

"_Bella," John called, but before he could get to her, Boss Man pointed his gun at him._

"_Don't even think about it." _

_Another couple hours passed. The men were still walking around the room fussing at one another as to what to do. Then, just over their shoulders, Bella saw something move. She glanced at the two again to make sure they weren't looking and then back to the moving spot to see it was a sniper. One, she thought. Just one would do the job. She glanced at the front door and saw another figure move. They were coming in._

_Before Bella could figure out how they would proceed, a shot was fired and Boss Man went down. Charlie was the first through the door followed by the PAPD. He spotted Bella and made his way over to her direction as the others took point. Another shot was fired and Mr. Trigger Happy ducked behind a desk where his bag was and pulled out another gun. A bigger gun. He fired the rounds endlessly. Everyone was face down on the floor, hands over their heads to protect themselves as best they could._

_Charlie checked on Bella and then made his way across the room as best he could for an opening to take fire. But he noticed his stare on Bella as he moved from her side. Mr. Trigger hadn't been too pleased with her outburst earlier and to find out her father was one of the cops trying to kill him and had successfully killed his brother…he wanted revenge. _

_Eye for an eye._

_He was going to die anyway, so he was going out proudly. He boldly stood without regard and swiftly turned toward Bella. As if in slow motion, she stiffened, eyes wide as she saw the gun pointed right at her. From her peripheral, she saw Charlie shoot up from his spot and make his way toward her. The gunman shifted his eyes to Charlie momentarily and back at Bella. _

_One bullet hit his shoulder and he faltered, but he didn't go down as Charlie was still making his way to Bella. "Bella, get down!" Charlie called. _

_Two shots were made and heard over all others. One hit the gunman and the other headed straight for Bella, but before it could hit her, Charlie jumped right in front of her._

"_Dad! NO!" Charlie hit the floor hard as he clutched his abdomen through his vest. The other cops rushed over to check the gunman who was badly injured, but not dead like his brother who lay lifeless in the middle of the bank's main room. The building was quickly swept as the other hostages were hurriedly ushered out as medics made their way to Mr. Tucker._

"_Daddy, why? Why did you do that?" Bella's hand fluttered nervously over him as she tried to breathe through her mouth and find were all the blood was coming from. There was so much blood. It seemed to have covered every inch of him and was now pooling on the floor around them. She laid her hand on the floor to shift herself and found herself with a hand full of blood._

"_Miss Bella, let me see," Randy said._

"_Get away from him!" she shouted as her hands moved over him again. "Dad, please…no! No, no, no, no, no, don't close your eyes. Look at me. Look at me, please, Dad, look at me!" she demanded. _

_She ripped open his vest and uniform shirt as best she could with her shaky hands and saw the blood pooling out of his stomach. She leaned over him and put pressure on his midsection, tears streaming down her face. _

"_Bells, it's all going to be f-fine. I-I l-love you. We'll go fishin' later." Charlie said, trying to sooth his heartbroken daughter. Why had she needed to be here? See him like this, but it was with her he wanted to spend his last moments with._

"_Daddy," Bella sobbed. Her body shacking as she tried to stop the blood coming from his stomach. Dell tried to come near Bella now as she held him. It was too late for him he knew as he laid a hand on her shoulder._

_She shrugged him off. "Somebody help him please. Daddy."_

"_Hey there, kiddo. No worries, okay? I'll be fine." Charlie tried to raise a hand to Bella's cheek and she caught it and brought it the rest of the way up. More blood smearing her face as the tears washed it away. "No." Charlie said as he moved his head to look at Dell, the towns head paramedic._

"_Dad, please. Please, dad. I'm so sorry." Bella cried more. _

"_Love you, kiddo."_

"_Daddy…" Bella sobbed as she leaned over Charlie, her head resting on his heart as she cried. She heard his final breaths come out as spurts and coughs. His chest rose once more and then settled no longer moving. A loud sob left Bella as she called out. "Dad! No!" she banged on his chest with one hand as she held the other over his wound. "No, you come back to me. Please," she pleaded. "Don't you leave me too. Daddy," she sobbed as she continued to beat on his chest._

_Dell let Bella alone for a few moments before he tried to take her away from Charlie's now motionless body, but Bella clung onto him for dear life as she cried for her father. He grasped her tight around her waist and hoisted her back. He hated to do it to her, he'd watched her grow up and knew how much she loved Charlie and how hard of a hit losing Henry was for her. He could only imagine what she was going through now._

_But he was doing this for her. He'd seen his fair share of death and pain because of it, but this killed him inside. One of his own. One of his closest. _

_She reached for him again as she cried. "Let me take her," Carlisle said. Carlisle took hold of Bella as Dell and Randy zipped up Charlie's body. As they began to roll him away, she shot out of Carlisle's arms toward the stretcher. "No. Don't take him away from me. Come back to me, please. Daddy, I'm sorry." She cried over him. "Please."_

"_Come on, honey," Carlisle soothed in her ear as she shook her head. Carlisle's chest tightened at the scene. He never imagined he'd have to go through this. Never have to watch Bella—who was like a daughter to him—lose her father in such a way. He held her tight and pulled her back from Charlie. "Come on, honey. It'll be okay."_

_As the stretcher quickly continued out the door, Bella crumbled to her knees in Carlisle's arms as he lowered himself with her. She was hunched over sobbing trying to breathe as another panic attack took her over. "Come on, honey, breathe for me. Concentrate on my voice, Bella. Breathe for me." He said as he held onto her wrists that were wrapped around her midsection. "I don't want to have to admit you, Bella. Breathe!" he softly, but forcefully commanded. "Breathe for me, Bella. Come on, I got you. Breathe."_

_After a moment, her breath regulated, but was still a little shallow. He rocked her back and forth as she cried into her knees begging for forgiveness. "I'm so sorry, daddy." She repeated over and over as she cried and Carlisle rocked. _

_He looked up at his daughter to see her in Duke's arms now crying at the scene before her. Not only had he had to watch Bella's father die in her arms, but he had to watch his daughter watch her best friend's father die in her arms. It was more than he could take. Tears finally flowed from his eyes as he buried his head next to Bella's continuing to soothe her as best he could know the only thing that could soothe her was Charlie._

**Present**

"I-it was my fault. If I'd have remembered to go to the bank, I wouldn't have been there. Charlie wouldn't have been inside trying to save me." Bella cried into Edward's shoulder as she relived the one day she never wanted to remember. As she remembered the act she knew caused her father's death.

"No, Bella. This is not your fault." Edward's eyes watered as he listened to Bella cry. As he remembered the details of what she recalled. He understood now. He understood why she was so closed off, so afraid of love. Why she'd had such a reaction to the boys and why Carlisle was so worried about her when he didn't hear from her. He'd been there. He and Alice both. They saw her life fall apart in front of them and there was nothing they could do to stop it or change it.

He wondered, idly, how Alice had kept it together when she told him what little she did. He knew how much she loved Bella and seeing something like that couldn't have been easy.

But more so, Edward was disappointed in himself. He'd been the tortured, over analytical musical ass they all teased him about being. Except now, he knew it was true. He never realized what his family was dealing with back then. He'd been too wrapped up in his music to pay attention to anything else. He'd let the ball drop. Bella had been his family; even then, he'd loved her and should have known what happened. He should have been there for her in her time of need.

Bella had always loved to be around him when they were younger and she always told him how relaxing and beautiful his music was. Maybe it would have helped to soothe her, even the tiniest bit, if he had been there, been the shoulder she needed to cry on and play a tune for her. He felt horrible for not being more involved in all their lives. In the town. His town.

"Bella, listen to me," he said leaning back to see her, "that was not your fault. You didn't do anything wrong. Char-"

"No. It's my fault. I killed him. I had to open my big mouth and shout at him and he tried to kill me, but killed Charlie. I killed him."

"No. You listen to me, Charlie died to save you. So you could live on. Charlie loved you. You are his daughter and fathers do whatever it is they can do to protect the ones they love, to protect their children, even if that means jumping in front of a bullet to save their life." At his words, another round of sobs consumed her. Edward rubbed her hair as she buried her face in his chest.

Bella had cried herself to sleep in his arms. He lifted her and took her to the bedroom. He slipped of her shoes and clothes, replacing them with his boxers and t-shirt—which she'd become very accustomed to wearing to bed now. Before he pulled down the shirt he gazed at her baby bump as ran his hands feather light over it. His baby. His life. Their baby and life. It was their life and he was going to make sure of it. With one last look and a kiss on her belly, Edward made his decision.

Bella woke up and she immediately knew it was too early to be awake. The sun was barely up. She laid there, her face in Edward's chest as his hand rested on the left side of her growing belly. Memories of the night before flashed in her mind. She'd told Edward everything. Everything she never wanted to remember and for the first time since that day, she felt a little lighter.

She still missed Charlie dearly and wished she'd had more time with both Charlie and Henry, but she felt just slightly better.

He'd told her he loved her. She's caught that little bit of info and her heart squeezed in the best way when she recalled the words. He'd meant it she knew. She slowly sat up and moved Edward's hand gently so as not to wake him. She crossed her legs in front of her as she starred at him. He was always the most beautiful boy she'd ever known and now he was the most handsome man she'd ever laid eyes on.

She reached her hand up to move his hair out of his face as she stared at his closed eyes imagining them open with his bright green gems staring back at her. How she loved to look into his eyes.

"I love you," she whispered to him. It was the only way she knew to tell him. "I love you, so much." She repeated.

Edward stirred and she was no longer imagining his jades staring back at her, he was awake. Startled, she removed her hand from his hair. As she pulled back, the sun suddenly glittered into the room and reflected off of a diamond ring that sat upon her left ring finger.

She gasped.

"Happy birthday, love."

** * * *RMF* * ***

_Anywho, I guess I'll try to study again.  
Thanks a million orange…I got nothing…hmmm, how about orange raining monkeys…ooh, those would be so cute, huh?_


	37. Letting Go

_**Thank you Mist. You are the bestest of the best besties or something along those weirdo lines in my head.**_

_**Onward with the read…**_

**Saturday 13 September  
Bella's Birthday**

Edward lay in the bed as he felt Bella shift slowly. He wanted badly to open his eyes and see her, but—like always—when she'd made an effort not to disturb him, he allowed her that. As he felt her fingers graze his hair, he wanted nothing more than to get inside her head and know what she was thinking. He'd wondered if she'd seen the ring he slipped on her finger that night. His proposal had been on a whim, a quick and last minute idea that seemed to work perfectly for what he wanted at the time. He just hoped she'd take it well.

"I love you. I love you so much." He heard her say and could no longer hold off on seeing her. He opened his eyes to see her staring directly back at him. Before he could truly register what she'd spoken, she gasped as the light from the rock on her hand glittered throughout the room.

"Happy birthday, love," Edward spoke quietly as if not to startle her.

Bella slowly retracted her hand further from Edward as she looked at her hand. There was a ring on her hand. Her left hand. Her ring finger on her left hand. She tried to process what that meant. After a long moment, much too long for Edward's liking, she looked at him questioningly.

In response, Edward swiftly rose from the bed walking around to the left side and picked Bella up bridal style and carried her down stairs. Neither one of them said a word as he sat her on one side of his piano bench while he took the other.

"Edward, wha-" Edward kissed her lips to silence her as he began to play, never removing his eyes from her. The melody started out soft, gentle but, as it progressed, so did the intensity of the melody. As Edward turned his head, Bella watched him the way she always did. She observed the tilt of his head and the smooth, calmness of his face. His eyes were closed and his veins bulged in his tense, yet relaxed arms when the muscles contracted as his fingers glided smoothly over the ivory keys. His right leg was stretched out in front of him, his left bent back as the weight of his leg rested on the ball of his bare foot.

Tears welled up in her eyes as she watched him. Even as children, there was always such concentrated calmness when he played and she always wondered how he could remain so calm when he played each piece always more complex than the last. There was rarely sheet music and if so, he never looked at it. All of them, complex and simple, completely memorized and yet, there he sat playing from memory as the complexities of it made Bella's heart fill up with emotions she never felt any other time in her life. Without even really realizing what she was doing, she leaned in and pressed her face into his shoulder.

Edward turned his head, placing a kiss on hers as the lullaby, as she would call it, came to an end. They sat quietly for a few moments before either of them spoke.

"It was beautiful, Edward."

"Just like you." Bella looked up. "It was inspired by you, for you. I wrote this for you because this is how you make me feel. How you've always made me feel. I love you, Bella. I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you and our children," Edward said placing his hand over her belly.

Bella just looked at him and then down at her ring. So much had happened yet here she was, two little boys, pregnant with a proposal on the table from the man she loved, all of them more than life itself. But was it enough? Was her love enough to make it through? To live the life she once dreamed of? Was it enough to heal the pain she'd held inside for so long and push on to something more? Something promising and happy? She'd wanted more than anything to trust in that feeling. The feeling of love and safety, of promises that wouldn't be broken.

She wanted more than anything to be happy and happy with Edward no matter what she showed on the outside. Yet somehow she felt a sense of sick solace in the torture. That she deserved it. That she should mourn her father for what she believed she caused. She knew her father wanted nothing more than to see his baby girl happy and she'd do anything for him, but could she do this?

"Edward…" she paused trying to find the words. Though she didn't want to speak them, she had to, for him, for herself. "If…is this…what I mean is, you don't-"

"No, Bella. Don't pick it apart. Please. If you need time, I understand, but don't for one minute think I am only doing this for the baby. Don't push me away because you don't want me to settle or whatever could be going through that beautiful mind of yours. I love you. Period. It's me that doesn't deserve you, but I'm selfish and I love you, our boys and the baby yet to come, I love you. Always have, always will." He stroked he face.

"You are my life," he finished.

He'd realized what she was trying to say. He known she'd say it. He gave her the option to answer later with no pressure, but that didn't matter. None of it did. He loved her and wanted to marry her, problems and all. She wanted more than anything to run and hide in the life she'd come accustomed to, back to the expected, her safety zone. She wanted that more than anything but she couldn't do that. Her body and heart weren't working with what her mind wanted. Her heart tugged and squeezed as she looked at the man she loved. The only man she could love.

She was scared but she was ready. Her heart was finally ready to cut the chains that had been holding it down and heal itself. She looked into the eyes of the man she loved. They were shining back at her with only two emotions. Patience and love. Slowly taking his face in her hands, she kissed him never breaking eyes contact. "I love you, Edward." she announced to him for the first time. "I love you," she stated again. Their lips joined again in passion.

Edward's eyes closed as he leaned into her, pulling Bella to straddle his lap. He knew that was Bella's way of saying yes. He could see it in her eyes. The diction of her voice, but most of all, he felt it in her kiss. She was back and there were no signs of her ever leaving again. Bella was his and she loved him every bit as much as he loved her.

Esme had been right when she said there'd come a time when she would no longer resist him. A day when she would finally trust herself because it was never a matter of how much she trusted and loved him, but how much she could truly trust herself. When she would be able to let go of what had happened to her and finally start to realize it wasn't her fault—none of it—and she deserved to be happy.

"Say it again." Edward asked as their bodies molded together, becoming one, he felt her. Felt her heart move as did his. It was like the first time all over again.

"I love you, Edward."

**-RMF-**

"Relax, love. It's your birthday, so you're allowed to be late." Edward said as he drove down his parents' long drive. Bella had looked at the clock every ten minutes worried about being late and she was just short of being furious with him. For once, he wanted to take his time driving. The uptight man she loved so much was never in a hurry, but drove like he was running from The Nothing. Never mind that they'd spent all morning in bed making love, he decided to pick today of all days to abide by the driving laws, but Edward didn't care.

There was a feeling within him. Something that told him to relish the time he had with her. He didn't care about speeding or all the grandpa driving people that normally irritated him. He'd cared less about Alice's mouth or the fact that all their family was waiting for them, he just wanted to be with the woman he loved, the woman that loved him and, in her own way, promised herself to him for eternity.

"Yes, but it's not you Alice will stick her claws in. I thought you agent types were supposed to be on top of things?"

"I was."

"Cheeky bastard."

"Now there's the woman I met and fell in love with," Edward snickered as he pulled up in front of the house.

"I think you mean the woman you accused of kidnapping our children."

"Well, you know, some couples have issues. Besides," he continued as he helped Bella out of the car and to the house, "if Alice says anything, tell her you are fashionably late."

"Boy, I picked one hell of a time to listen to Alice. Thanks for that," she answer in her sarcastic tone. Just as Edward was about to open the door, she stopped him. "Edward…"

"Yes?"

"If we leave early enough, can we make a stop before going home? In town, there's somewhere I need to go."

"Of course," he promised kissing her as he opened the door leading her in and back.

"Finally!" Alice exclaimed.

"Mommy!" the boys screamed as they nearly bull-dozed her over in excitement. "Happy Birthday, Mommy."

"Thank you, sweeties." She gave them each a kiss and asked how school was the day before.

"Where have you been? You're late."

"I was being fashionably late, thank you."

"Now, you listen to me."

"Had to be sometime, Alice," Bella snickered looking at Edward as Alice huffed, but hugged her as closely as she could with their ever growing bellies.

"You know, I think that's a cover."

"What's a cover, Em?" Edward asked wearily.

"Well, I'm just pointing things out here, but you and Bella are late, the boys were here and the bun didn't get into the oven on its own." Everyone looked at Emmett like he'd lost his mind. "What? Two to tango." He raised his hands defensively. "All I'm sayin'."

"Emmett!" Esme chastised.

"No, it's okay, Esme," Bella assured as she hugged her. "Emmett will be Emmett. Besides, he's just jealous that his little brother is better at some things than he is," She said suggestively. Emmett stood with his mouth agape as he stared back and forth from Bella to Edward.

"Hi, Carlisle."

"Happy birthday, honey." He kissed her. "Close your mouth, son." Emmett's jaw snapped tight.

"Well, what has gotten into you?" Rose snapped harshly.

"Edward, obvious?" Jasper said coolly as Rose glared at him for not being on her side.

"Jasper, and where have you been?"

"Alice," he answered looking Rose head on not the least bit bothered by her tone. "Hello, Bella. Happy birthday."

"Thank you. How have you been?"

"I could use some coffee, but otherwise I'm good."

"Oh, I almost forgot, I brought some."

"The special blend?" Jasper asked perking up a little.

"Yup and some decaf for Alice, too." Alice glared at the decaf. "And you'll drink it, too. Jasper will hide the other stuff. I'll be right back."

As Bella walked out the room, everyone continued to converse, while Alice probed Edward on why they were really late.

"Let's just say Emmett isn't always wrong." Edward gloated on cloud nine.

"What! Are you corrupting my best friend?"

"Not at all. It more of a mutual corruption, I'd say."

"Well, I never thought I'd see the day," Carlisle commented draping his arm around Esme in pride of his happy family.

"Is it me, or does pregnancy color Bella very well?" Emmett asked.

Alice started. "I really thi-" Alice was cut off by a crash and Edward racing out of the room.

"I'm okay. Just this table decided to move as I walked by," Bella called out.

"Bella, are you okay?"

"Well not if you don't stop poking me."

Emmett raised his eyebrows and looked at Jasper.

"I'm just trying to see if it's-"

"You don't need to poke me to see. Look and don't touch."

"Well if it's swollen, then I need to see how badly."

"Emmett, not one word," Esme said as they all sat and listened to the conversation from the family room. They couldn't see them, but they heard everything and the innuendos they implied.

"Mom, I'm just saying. There are children in this house and I'm just looking out for their well being. That kind of thing scars for life."

"Didn't scar you," Alice snickered.

"It did for a long time."

"Just let me see it and stop moving around so much," Edward demanded.

"When did you graduate from 007 status to 00-doctor, huh?"

"Fine, I'll carry you to Dad."

"Oh, yes, just what I need, my knight in shining amour to carry me for all eternity because he couldn't stop poking," Bella said as they headed back. "What would I have ever done without you? I declare, you are the most gentlemen of gentles," she finished in a southern accent throwing her head back and laying the back of her hand over her forehead as they entered.

Suddenly, Esme gasped and everyone looked at her in worry. "Esme, dear, what is it? Are you breathing alright?"

Esme didn't answer as tears started to pour down her face. Carlisle was completely worried now as he moved his hands frantically over her face. She'd never acted like this before. She swatted his hands away as she took a step toward Bella, still in Edward's arms. She held her hands out for her and Bella hesitated for only a moment before placing her hands in Esme's.

"Bella." They shared a knowing gaze as everyone looked on in confusion. They didn't understand what was happening or why Esme was crying. Edward released Bella slowly so Esme could hug her, placing kisses on her cheeks that were stained in a soft pinkish rose.

"Oh my God! Bella! Are…are you and Edward engaged?" Alice blurted out suddenly noticing the rock on her hand. She hadn't meant to say it like that as she covered her mouth apologetically, but she couldn't help it as the words escaped her.

Bella looked up at the family not knowing what to say. She and Edward hadn't discussed anything that morning other than their need for one another. She knew if she wanted to say no, Edward wouldn't have a problem with that, but that's not what she wanted anymore. She didn't have to hide anymore and she didn't want to. She'd spent the better part of the last decade being someone she wasn't because she was afraid. She hadn't trusted herself not to hurt those she loved or allowed herself to be close to them because she feared she would lose them too.

She had been so lost for so long that she almost made the biggest mistake of her life. She'd nearly ended her life, but she found a way out of that thanks to Emmett. Though her new road only granted her life in the literal sense. She cut herself off so much that she was barely living and in that , she now realized that she was dishonoring the memory of those she loved most.

Henry loved her more than anything and always told her to go for the gold. He had always encouraged her to be her own person even if, most of the time, being her own person meant fishing on the lake with him or eating a mile high stack of pancakes or noting more of his random cooking tips. Henry had been her best friend, her silly place and her serious place.

And Charlie. He'd giving his life so she could have one and yet she hadn't been living at all. She had stopped living and that in itself was like kicking dirt in the face of what her father had done. She lived with the pain of that day believing she deserved to be in pain everyday of her life. She had wholeheartedly believed that she didn't deserve to live because he had died but she finally realized she was wrong. Being happy, smiling, living life as she'd always wanted was how she honored her father, how she thanked him. It was how he would live on through her and her children, the child she was now carrying.

No longer afraid, she was finally standing and embracing the chance Charlie gave her knowing that he loved her and believing that he knew just how much she loved him in return. She smiled at her family, the family she loved that loved her in return.

_Love you, kiddo._

"Yes," she said strongly, feeling the absence of the weight she'd been carrying. "yes, Edward and I are engaged."

The room erupted in shouts of joy and laughter as they congratulated the newly engaged couple.

"My gift to you isn't going to compare with this gorgeous ring. I can't believe you picked it out all by yourself…without me…and I approve."

"Well, Alice, I have been known to do things on my own for quite some time."

"Pfft. You're a man, not many of you can survive on your own without a woman's touch."

"Alice, stop picking on Edward and hand over the gift."

"Look who suddenly likes gifts. Give her a rock and there's no stopping you." Alice reached into her bag as Bella glared at her back and pulled out an envelope. "It's kind of a community gift, but I figured since it was your birthday, you could do the honors."

Bella looked suspiciously at Alice and the envelope as she opened it carefully. She pulled out a four by four card. The picture on it was black and white like snow on the television, but in the pulled right hand corner there was an arrow with _it's a girl _printed under it.

"Ah, Alice, you're having a girl!" she exclaimed hugging Alice.

*** * *RMF* * ***

_**Thanks a million orange colored contacts.  
Charley**_


	38. Return

_At a certain point, you learn not everyone can be pleased, so, respectfully, if you don't like my story, you don't have to read and I give you my full blessing to stop reading it if your not enjoying it. Sending me (or any other FF writer whose stories you don't care for) messages and reviews that to tell us our story sucks, is stupid and way too cheesy for whatever is just plain rude and hurtful and it doesn't help the writer in their weak areas. It breaks them down. Giving advice, appropriate criticism or what have you is fine. _

_Ever think of offering advice rather than telling someone they suck? _

_Trust me, anyone would prefer and openly welcome an audit of their work to make it and themselves better, not blatant disrespect._

_So that's my soapbox, onward with the read …_

**Friday, September 26**

Today had been a long day of running errands for Edward and it wasn't over yet. Somehow he couldn't bring himself to be completely bothered by the fact that he'd spent the better part of the morning running around from one place to the next—the complete bain of his existence. Scheduling to have the water, gas, and electric turned off had been fairly simple, but it was when he arrived at the cable company that his patience was wearing thin.

Why hadn't he thought about calling instead of doing it in person? Because they always screw things up and have you on hold forever. He soon discovered taking care of this in person was just as taxing, if not more so.

Between not taking no for an answer for lower monthly rates, turning down free trial movie stations and a bonus package to not cancel service, and then (once again) explaining that there was no transfer necessary, it was all he could do to not walk out of there bald. Once he reached the cleaning service, he thought, there were no words for what he thought about his last and final stop before returning to his pregnant fiancé.

The cleaners, owned by a buoyant Italian American family, had Edward loving them and never wanting to leave. He couldn't help but laugh as he tried to explain that, just because his fiancé's name was Italian didn't make her Italian as well, but there was no telling that to Claudio. Swinging his right arm around Edwards's shoulders and gripping his chin with the left he exclaimed, "La mia famiglia. Tu sei la mia famiglia adesso, tu e la bella Isabella," he'd insisted, not that Edward understood a word he said.

After leaving, he was anything but upset. It was the highlight of his day, actually. He was a pleasant enough man with his black hair thinning in the middle, bulging belly and half apron wrapped around his waist that reached past his knees in length. He was a pleasant man indeed.

With a smile on his face, and an invitation for the entire family to dine at Claud's family restaurant _Volterra_ (named in honor of the city his family moved from), Edward went home.

* * * RMF * * *

Stepping out of the car, Edward was immediately assaulted by the sounds of music.

_He wears a red bandana  
Plays a cool piana (piano is pronounced piana in this song)  
In a honky tonk, down in Mexico  
He wears a purple sash, and a black moustache  
In honky tonk, down in Mexico_

He didn't recognize the song, but that was the last thing he was concentrated on. He'd never understood the saying, "If I died right now, I'd die a happy man" until now. Watching Bella sway her hips seductively to the beat, her hair flowing down her back in a tendril of curls, her shirt hugging her stomach and her breasts pushed up, even fuller than before since she was lactating, her jeans hugging her closely… Edward had never seen anything so sexy in his life.

He almost felt guilty watching her from the foyer, that is, until she turned to place what she had in the box behind her and saw that she was being watched. Her smile was quick and seductive.

_In Mexico...  
All of a sudden in walks a chick _

__She stood upright slowly, still swaying to the music as she walked forward. Her eyes smoldered as she drew closer, her bare feet twisting with each step. Degree by degree the temperature rose as she approached.

_In Mexico...  
Joe starts playin on a latin kick  
_

Reaching Edward, she ran her hands up his chest and back down his arms as she swayed to the music, never taking her eyes off his as she placed his hands on her lethal hips. She placed her hands dangerously low on his, bringing him as close to her as possible, moving them to the beat of the music.

"Did the errands go alright today, Edward?" she asked, but his mind was blank and completely devoid of the simple answer he knew he should have been able to give her. With her so close, the slow (now fast) inveigling beat of the music and the feeling of her touching him, there was nothing that could bring Edward back from where he was quickly headed.

He was there.

_Mexico...  
Around her waist she wore three fishnets  
In Mexico...  
She started dancin with the castanets  
_

Her hands started traveling again, up his sides, over his chest and around his neck as she pulled herself even closer.

"Edward," she called. Edward's grip tightened and his eyes closed. The monster inside of him was begging to throw her against the wall and have his way with her, but he couldn't do it. _I need to control myself_, he chastised himself.

"Edward," she called again, in a tone he would call seductively amused. That told him she knew just the affect she was having on his ever crumbling control.

"Did you hear me?" she asked close to his ear. Her breath was warm, her lips silky as they brushed against his lobe. His undoing nearly came when her sweet, moist tongue darted out and then snaked around until his ear was between her teeth.

"Bella," he groaned

_In Mexico...  
We started dancin all around the floor (In Mexico...)  
And then she did a dance I never saw before_

She turned, her back firmly against his chest and her bottom pressing further into his growing arousal as she continued to sway to the music. She raised her arms and locked them around him, her fingers tickling as they played at the nape of his neck. She brought her hands slowly down his body once more, lacing her fingers with his and raising them above their heads.

Edward bent down, kissing her neck releasing one of her hands and pulled her closer as her head tipped back tempting his inner monster even more.

"Bella."

"Edward," she mocked in return.

His hands drew her shirt up over her belly and finally off. They were hot to the touch, alerting her system and setting her on fire. She hadn't planned this. She tried to calm her body from red alert, but as his hands cupped her and then removed the offending material, she knew it was hopeless. She trembled as she yielded to him.

"Edward, the boys."

He cursed inside. He turned his head minimally to see the clock behind them. It was just after ten thirty. Plenty of time, he thought. Plenty of time.

"The boys don't get out for hours." Her skin was soft and warm as he gripped her; it was almost shimmering as the light shown through the windows. He could feel her weakening as he seduced her further. It wouldn't be long now until she was completely his. She was sinking into pleasure with him. He flicked open the button of her jeans, dipping in and pushing them down.

"Edward, its Friday."

He turned her around, pressing her to the wall. Her face was alight with desire she tried to hide, but he could see it. Her body was acquiescing itself to him, practically pouring itself into him.

"I know bella Isabella."

The shock and pleasure were both evident on her face as he slid into her. She gasped as she relished in the sensation of their bodies joined together. Sex to sex. Heart to heart. Love to love. He claimed her.

She was his.

"Half day," she breathed, as her body began to float. Melting further into him, but he held her still, steady as he took them both further to the edge.

"Edward!" her chest rose with each reconnection. Her arms locked, legs yielding under the pressure building up.

"Plenty of time, my love. Hang on." It was the last thing she heard as her ears rang, light flashed before her and she fell over the edge in his grasp.

* * * RMF * * *

_That ungrateful girl. Of all things I have done for her. Everything I have tried to teach her and this is how she repays me?_ Renee's mind screeched on as she paced the length of her kitchen.

Her temper was boiling as she thought about her daughter. Phil had tried to calm her, though his attempts went unnoticed by his wife. She was pig-headed and sometimes unreasonable, but he loved her nonetheless because, deep down, he knew there was another woman within her; a tender, loving and understanding woman. She just got lost in transition sometimes.

"I can't believe she wouldn't tell me," she ranted.

"Ashamed is what she is, as she should be. Getting knocked up," she scoffed.

Renee didn't know what she felt more; anger or embarrassment that another woman had to tell her that _her _own daughter was pregnant and didn't even realize she was.

"You must be so proud of Bella and becoming a grandmother, oh, three for the price of one from what I hear from Angela. I'm jealous. Angie and Ben said they wanted to move into the new house first before trying …"

There was a little pain mixed in there, too, though she'd never admit that.

She played it off well enough for Danny, pretending to know about the pregnancy and being mildly happy for her daughter.

"Maybe if you were in more contac-"

"More contact?" Renee fumed. "I've been calling her and she doesn't answer. She doesn't even acknowledge me and I have to find out she is pregnant from Mrs. Webber and it's my fault?"

They're all against me, she thought. Every last one of them. If it hadn't been for Charlie, she knew things would be different. Bella was the way she was because of him and his no good father, but there was no convincing Bella of that. She just thought the sun shined right out of their asses. She couldn't help her daughter if she didn't let her in and kept shunning her. All she'd done was try to be there for her. She was a good mother, she knew she was.

"Renee," Phil stood and walked towards his wife knowing that what was going to come out of his mouth might very well land him on the couch for the week.

"Bella loves you, deep down, though she may not realize it, she loves you. But…"

"But what, Phillip?"

He knew that tone. It was a warning to him to tread lightly with his thoughts but he continued with what he needed to say. It was time for Renee to hear the truth even if she didn't want to.

"Constantly insulting Charlie and Henry is not going to get you any closer with Bella. Now wait," he interjected as she began to speak. "Bella is a grown woman. Talk to her."

"I do. I try." Renee was frustrated now as she pulled out of Phil's grip.

"No, you don't. You talk at her. You demand, but never ask and offer. You left her, Ren, you left her. She never had a chance to know you and when you returned, the first thing you did was bad mouth her father and grandfather—the only family she'd had, loved and then lost. You can't keep doing that," he reasoned.

"So you agree with her? You're against me, too?"

"I'm always with you Renee. I wouldn't have married you otherwise. You can be her mother and she can love you."

"Why would she," she huffed, "she has that Cullen woman to turn to." She turned her back to him.

"See, now that's what I'm talking about." Phil was frustrated now. He had to say these things, he knew and he'd have to be brutally honest. "You walked out on her. How can you expect her to love and respect you when you've never shown it in return?"

She turned back to face him then with a raging fire burning in her eyes.

"What do you mean I never loved her? I always did. Charli-"

"No, Charlie never did anything. _I _happened. _I_ took you from him, from her. You were both young and inexperienced and had a baby. You loved me and I loved you and we can't help that. We can't choose whom we love, but you walked away from her. You didn't have to. Of course she's mad and hurt. She has every reason to be. Then you suddenly swoop in and take her but never show her the affection I know is inside of you. Ren, you have to open up to her. Make yourself vulnerable."

He stepped to her rubbing her arms in an attempt to comfort and calm her.

"You love her, I know. Show her that. Put yourself out there for her to see. Don't demand or expect, but present yourself to her. Love her. Listen to her. Don't let your pride blind you forever, Renee because one day it might just be too late to repair and mend what could have been."

* * * RMF * * *

"Hello."

"Daddy? We have Mess-ican?"

"You have Mexican, Kyle?"

Kyle sighed heavily. "No, Daddy, Kevin and I want Mess-ican for dinner."

"Can we please?" Kevin called.

Edward chuckled as he loaded another box into the back of Bella's truck. "Let me speak to Mommy."

"Edward."

"Mexican?"

She laughed. "Apparently, today was foreign region day and they visited Mexico, so now they want Mexican. I figured I'd make them chicken quesadillas and enchiladas for you and me. How does that sound for dinner?"

"Fine. I have everything else packed, so just go on home and I'll meet you there, love."

"Alright. I love you," she said before hanging up.

So many things had changed so quickly. Bella had opened up to him, everything had changed. Her personality was more open, she seemed happier and, though there were moments when sarcasm seemed to be the only concept she knew, she was still different.

Bella's birthday turned out better than he could have imagined. Seeing her face light up the way it did when she was reunited with the rest of her extended family from La Push later that night made his heart swell even more. Bella was now completely out of her house and into his. They were finally the family he wanted them to be. Nothing in the world could ruin this now.

His bride to be, two, soon to be three, wonderful children at his side and a cherished family made his life seem beyond perfect.

With the last box hitched on his hip, he locked Bella's house ready to step into the future.

Just as he loaded the last box into the truck, a Range Rover pulled in. He stepped back and waited for the woman to step out.

"Excuse me, she said, I'm looking for Is- Bella. I'm her mother. Renee Dwyer."

She stiffly stuck her hand out in introduction. She wasn't very happy about being there but she knew it was necessary. What Phil said to her struck a cord and, the fact that she had woken up with a bag packed at the end of the bed and a note from Phil telling her to take a drive north and think, helped push her along. Begrudgingly, she did just as he suggested—seething the whole way—and ended up in Seattle not sure what she was going to do or if she could even do anything.

"Pleasure to meet you. I'm Edward Cullen, Bella's fiancé. She doesn't live here anymore, Mrs. Dwyer. We live on the other side of town." Though Edward had a pretty good understanding of Renee, he didn't know much about her and Bella simply didn't talk about her. Angry is what he knew she was, simmering under the surface with a lot of pain.

"You must be the doctor's son."

She examined him. Good genes. Polite enough. Handsome. They'd make pretty babies, she figured. Bella hadn't done too bad for herself, she allowed herself to admit. He'd certainly take care of her. Maybe she should stop in for a quick visit, to say a quick hello. She would be pleasant just to prove Phil wrong. She could catch up on Bella's life and inquire about the baby, her grandbaby. She knew better though. Bella would never welcome another unexpected visit from her.

"That's her truck," she observed pointing.

"Oh, she took my car to pick up the boys from school while I finished packing for her. Would you like to-"

"The twins."

"Yes, Kevin and Kyle. They're just five."

"That's a nice age." She figured that was something decent to say since she didn't know them. She was at a loss for what to do now.

Edward, sensing her anxiousness, offered "Would you like to follow me home to see her?"

"No. No, that's alright. If you could though, give her this for me." Renee reached into her purse and pulled out a letter she'd written earlier and handed it to him. She figured this was the best way to let Bella know how she felt seeing as all of their previous face to face encounters were anything but pleasant or productive.

"Can you just tell her… tell her I'm sorry." With that, she turned to leave.

"Wait," Edward said, reaching out for her. He opened the truck door and took out a pad and wrote his name, number and address on it. "Here. This is our house and my number. You should come by next time you're in town," he paused. "I know…I know that things are…strained between the two of you, but she needs you. She needs closure."

"Thank you."

"Bella." Edward said nervously as she climbed into bed next to him. He'd held on to the letter all day and it seemed to be burning a hole in the back of his pocket.

"I have something to give to you."

"What is it?"

"He reached into the night stand, pulled out the letter and handed it to her. Bella stared down at it for a moment before looking at him with questioning eyes.

"It's from Renee."

* * * RMF * * *

"**My family. You are family now, you and the beautiful Isabella" is what Claudio said to Edward in Italian.**

**If you forgot, Danielle is Angela's mom. She and Renee met on Mother's Day and exchanged numbers and occasionally talk from time to time when Danny called.**

**Volterra is an actual restaurant and it's on the site if you care to see it.**

**The song was Down in Mexico, by the Coasters, also on the site.**

**Thanks a million Orange Spring flowers!  
Charley**


	39. Baby Bliss

I know I know. I'm a tool and a flake and so not awesomsis (yes that's awesome and osmosis together) for taking five months to post, but here I am. I told you all I wouldn't leave the story hanging. I was just busy finishing up school—to which I have graduated college with honors (WOOT!!! WOOT!!!). And then I just had to get my mind back in the game to write, so I say all that to say this. Game still on. Three maybe four chapters to go and then on to another story my beta tells me is her fav of all the ones I've bugged her about. ;)

Anywho, you've all waited long enough,

Onward with the read. . .

**Tuesday, October 7**

This was the first time, in the seven years Bella had lived in the city, that she'd ever been to Benaroya Hall or paid it any kind of attention. It was magnificent with all that black slat and what seemed like hundreds of windows cascading in a semi-circle around the front. Around the southern and western walls, she could see the L shaped garden known as the _Garden of Remembrance _in memory of the eight-thousand Washington State dead since 1941. While the architecture seemed simplistic, it was beautiful in its design and the art work presented alongside it all was breathtaking.

After dropping the boys off, working a half day and running a few errands, Bella texted Edward to find out what time he'd be home because she, undoubtedly, lost the house keys. Edward had laughed at her over the phone during his break remembering when she'd told him about her habit of losing keys while giving him one of her own. Now he was giving her his key. Their key.

Bella made her way inside Benaroya Hall and to the front desk where Edward had left her name with Gianna.

"May I help you?"

"Bella Swan for Edward Cullen. Illsley Hall, please." Gianna gave Bella a map of Benaroya Hall and directions to Illsley Hall smiling as she pointed her in the right direction.

Once Bella found the correct hall, she carefully opened the door and entered. There were dozens of rows of seats that narrowed as they neared toward the front of the simple stage which was currently occupied by three men and a woman playing music. They didn't, in Bella's opinion, appear to be practicing, just playing. Nonetheless, she slowly and quietly situated herself at the right side to wait for a break in their playing to ask for Edward.

As Bella continued to watch, a man with short dark hair nodded his head as the girl of about fifteen played her cello. He whispered something to the man next to him gesturing to the man playing the piano stationed to Bella's right on the stage. It was at this moment the he noticed Bella and gestured her closer to have a seat.

When the playing stopped the two standing men turned to Bella.

"Hello. I'm Aro."

"Hello is right," the other man commented eyeing Bella in a way that annoyed her.

Aro laughed, "Demetri, don't be silly my boy, she's clearly taken."

"It is entirely possible she isn't taken Aro," Demetri replied winking at Bella who rolled her eyes and quickly turned her attention back to Aro.

"Don't pay him any mind. Did you enjoy, my dear? Bree here is first chair for the cello and is having her first solo performance this coming weekend." Aro glowed with pride as he spoke of his daughter.

"Yes, thank you. It was beautiful. I didn't mean to interrupt, but I was looking for Edward Cullen. He told me he'd be in Illsley Hall. Is this the right hall?"

"Why would you be looking for Edward?" Demetri inquired.

Bella gave him a blank stare for a moment. She understood flirting, but as Aro had said, she was clearly taken. How could one person be so delusional?

"I wasn't aware that I needed to tell you why I'm here to see my fiancé…" Bella trailed off as she narrowed her eyes in irritation.

"Come, my dear," Aro said as he agilely jumped from the stage. "I'll take you to Edward."

"Thank you." Demetri gave Bella one last smile as she grimaced at him making her way back up and out the auditorium.

"Edward is practicing with rest of the symphony players in the Taper Auditorium now. He had to go over there when Bree arrived to practice. It must have slipped his mind to tell you."

"Yes, apparently," she replied with mock annoyance. Aro laughed and draped Bella's arm through his own as they entered S. Mark Taper Auditorium.

"Oh," Bella gasped quietly as they entered. This hall was much grander than the last housed with what seemed like thousands of seats. The sheer size and beauty of it was enough to take her breath away, but what she saw and heard made it so much more.

The symphony players were in production. Beethoven's Overture to Egmont, Op: 84 was echoing through the hall. And there, among all the players, was Edward at his piano to her left behind the string section. The conductor, an older gentlemen with long, jet black hair stood front and center with one hand behind his back and the other raised leading the orchestra.

"First time ever hearing them?"

Bella looked to Aro and smiled.

"Yes. How did you know?"

"You stopped breathing for a moment. I remember my first time stepping foot inside the grand hall as a young lad," Aro whispered, then chuckled as he thought back to his green days. "Many, many moons ago now."

"Come," Aro beckoned as he led her forward and into a seat in the middle.

When the orchestra stopped playing, Edward began playing Chopin's Barcarolle, Op. 60. Her hands automatically settled on her stomach as she was filled with the sounds of her…beloved.

Beloved. Hearing him play made her think of him as her beloved.

Bella gasped and looked down to her belly.

"Is everything alright, my dear?"

Bella rubbed her belly.

"The baby nudged me. He's never done that before. Not yet. Until now, I guess."

"Baby knows it's Edward playing. So it's a boy." Aro smiled wryly.

"Edward's been keeping everyone in the dark about the sex since we found out about you and the baby."

"Oh." Bella smiled.

"Well, actually, we don't know. Next week. I just like to think it's a boy. Feels like a boy." Bella laughed softly. "Whatever that means."

When Edward was done, Aro stood and applauded loudly with a laugh. As Edward started to rise, Aro held his hand up for Edward to stay knowing he'd come down.

"I'll bring her up," Aro called.

As they reached the stage, Aro veered them right away from Edward. Bella looked over her shoulder at Edward before they disappeared behind a door and down a narrow hall.

"Watch your step, my dear," Aro warned as he helped her up the stairs.

When Bella came around the curtain, Edward was still behind his piano, locked where he stood.

"Aro," the conductor said dryly.

"Marcus, splendid job. They sounded wonderful."

"Bella," Edward spoke snapping out of his Bella induced trance as he rounded the piano and met her half way. He gave her a kiss and the orchestra started to applaud loudly.

"You look beautiful."

Bella blushed. "Alice."

Edward chuckled. "No. You're always beautiful."

"Edward, are you going to stand there and stare at her all day or introduce us."

"Neither." He said possessively and wrapped Bella in his arms as she laughed.

"Well, Edward has no manners," the man laughed, "but I do. Eleazar."

"Bella," she replied. "It's nice to meet you," she said as they shook hands.

"Eleazar," Edward began, "is first chair violin. And this," he began. "is Eleazar's wife—"

"Carmen. Flute. It's nice to meet you, Bella. We've heard great things about you."

"All lies I hope," Bella joked.

"We've also heard very little. Always made me wonder if little Eddie just made you up," a young, unfriendly looking girl scoffed.

"Don't mind Jane," a sultry voice sneered from behind. "She was born a barking bitch. I'm Kachiri. Timpani."

"Nice to meet you."

Introductions went continued a while longer before Edward whisked Bella away walking hand in hand to her car.

"What time do the boys get back from the museum?"

"About an hour. I was going to stop by the store before. They want mac and cheese for dinner."

"With what?"

Bella laughed.

"That's it. I do have a question, though," Bella paused as Edward waited.

"Do they always introduce themselves by name and then instrument?"

Edward laughed.

"They do generally. It's a habit," Edward answered with a shrug as Bella shivered.

"Are you warm enough in this? It's getting colder," Edward hugged Bella to him to warm her up as the wind blew.

"I'm okay. It's not too cold yet. This is pretty warm."

Edward smiled warmly before capturing Bella's mouth in a long, passionate kiss. As they broke apart, Edward caressed Bella's face, gazing at her lovingly before helping her into the car and saying good-bye.

*** * *RMF* * ***

Kyle/**Kevin**

"Okay, boys. Time to get upstairs so you can take a bath."

"A bath? We don't want to take a bath." Kev and me fell on the floor like we were dying. Baths were for ninnies and we were not ninnies.

"Mommy, I'll melt if I get in the water."

"Mmhmm but you'll be clean. No more germs."

"**I like germs. Kyle and me are germs. We want to germmernate everything." Mommy laughed at us as she walked up stairs.**

**I heard water running upstairs. Mommy was starting our bath. I didn't want to be clean and I could tell Kyle didn't want to be either.**

"Kyle. Kevin. Bath."

Kev and me got up real slow. We were already starting to melt just from thinking of the water. Mommy was trying to get rid of us and we were not going to give in. I had an idea. I looked at Kev and he had the same idea too.

Hide.

I started laughing when mommy started looking for us, but she didn't hear.

**Brice told us today that Holly liked us both because when were the only boys in the class without cooties but I **_**did**_** have cooties and so did Kyle. Uncle Em told us once that if we ran around outside we could get the cooties. So when we got to play outside, Holly said she wanted to play doctor and Kyle said we were going to get the cooties and didn't want no medicine for it and ran away.**

I don't like Holly. She always wants to hold my hand and her hand is always so…

**Girly. But I don't mind holding Tanya's hand. I helped her off the ground and held her hand while Ms. Charlotte put a band aid on her knee after James pushed her down. **

Yeah, Tanya is cool for a girl, but I'm not going to hold her hand.It's weird, but I gave her a pat on the back when she was okay.

"Gotcha! In the bath."

"But we're going to lose the cooties and melt if we take a bath." Mommy just laughed.

"Why do you want the cooties?"

"**Because Holly wants to play doctor 'cause she says we're the only boys without cooties, so we got some today."**

"How did you get cooties?"

"Uncle Em said we get them if we run around outside." Mommy laughed again.

"Boys never grow out of the cooties. We girls just stop caring about them. Now, bath and no melting."

Kev and me took a bath and played with our toys, but we kept waiting to melt. Guess Mommy was right about the cooties.

**After our bath, Mommy let us help make mac and cheese for dinner all by ourselves because we were big boys. Mommy told me to put six hands full of macaroni down and then—**

I put six hands full of cheese down all over the top of the macaroni, then—

**I put two little pieces of butter and six more hands full of macaroni. We 'posed to keep doing that until we get to the top and—**

I finish it with more cheese. But I had a question.

**We both had a question. We watched Superman last night and something just wasn't right about the movie. **

"Mommy, can bullets hurt Superman?"

"No, nothing can hurt him unless there's kryptonite around."

"**They why did he keep running way from the bullets if they can't hurt him?"**

"If they couldn't, he wouldn't have kept moving."

"**Maybe he's a ninny."**

"Who's a ninny?" Daddy kissed me and Kev on the head before he kissed Mommy on the lips. I don't get it.

"The boys think Superman is a ninny because he kept dodging the bullets when he has impenetrable skin. He wasn't supposed to move, apparently."

**Mommy poured milk into a bowl of eggs and mixed it up before she poured it over the mac and cheese and put it in the oven. I didn't know it needed the stuff we used for the eggy toast.**

But she didn't put the spices in it. Maybe that makes it different.

---

The mac and cheese was the best. But after we ate Mommy only gave me and Kev a few hours to play and do homework before bed.

**Ms. Charlotte wanted us to get our Mommies and Daddies to help us write what we thought about the museum today. It was great. That's all we wanted to write so we could watch Sponge Bob, but—**

Daddy started asking all these questions about it so Mommy could help me write and Daddy helped Kev write. Mommy told Daddy he needed to get over it so we could watch Sponge Bob and he said we could watch a movie, but Mommy said we wanted Sponge Bob and Daddy said we could learn to watch something else.

**I think Daddy has something against Sponge Bob. When I asked him what, he said all of it. Mommy laughed and kissed him.**

I don't know why he got a kiss; we were the ones with homework.

*** * *RMF* * ***

**Saturday, October 18**

With the boys down stairs and Edward in the closet getting dressed, Bella sat at the edge of the bed staring at her phone. She wasn't sure if she wanted to make the phone call. She wasn't sure if she didn't. Bella wasn't sure period. It had been weeks since Edward had given her the letter from her mother and she still hadn't read it. She had opened it once and only read the first line…

_Dear Bella,_

_You're pregnant._

She started it 'dear' and called her 'Bella.' That was a good sign wasn't it?

Edward hadn't pressured her to read it or asked why she wasn't reading it. Though Bella was curious about what was in the letter, she just wasn't ready to find out yet.

"Bella."

"Hmm?"

"Something wrong, love?" Edward asked as he sat beside Bella. She took over tying his tie to give herself a moment.

"No. Just thinking. You look dashing."

Edward stood and held out his hands, pulling Bella to him. "You, love," Edward kissed her and then stepped back "are a vision."

"Let's go before Alice has my head on a chopping block.

---

"Hello, welcome to Volterra. Do you have a reservation?"

"Whitlock-Cul—"

"Finally," Alice called cutting of Edward as she danced in like a tornado.

"How can you be late to your own Baby Shower?"

"I'm pregnant," she retorted causing Alice to roll her eyes as she dragged Bella away.

"Thanks," Edward said to the hostess as he followed his sister and fiancé to the banquet room as the boys ran ahead.

Walking in, there were pink and blue balloons tied on the ends of a rectangular table that sat against the far wall in the middle. To the left was a smaller, round table covered by a soft pink table cloth, with it's a girl balloons tied to the back and overflowing with gifts wrapped in pink paper. And to the right of the center table, was another round table that made Edward's heart beat fast. This table was Bella's table. The light blue cloth, it's a boy balloons and gifts that cascaded down the side reminded him of the prior week and the joy he felt.

"_Swan-Cullen?" the nurse called. Edward stood to help Bella up and followed her back._

"_Alright, dear, if you'd like to step out of your shoes and step on the scale so I can get your weight."_

"_Here, hold this for me." Bella handed Edward her jacket followed by her purse._

"_It's starting already. Next you'll be asking me to get your female stuff at the store for you." Edward playfully rolled his eyes taking her things while the nurse smiled making notes on Bella's chart._

"_Okay dear, step down and head to exam five." _

_The nurse opened the door leading them in and went to a cabinet and pulled out a gown. _

"_Change into this and Dr. Jennings will be right in," she said pausing and raising her eyebrow at Edward._

"_Should I take him with me or will he behave?"_

_Bella laughed and eyed Edward as he faked shock. _

_The nurse chuckled and patted Edward on the back as he took a seat next to Bella's table and watched her undress._

"_Like what you see?"_

"_I do."_

"_Take a picture."_

"_Might have to do that tonight."_

_Edward held Bella's hand as she carefully lifted herself on the table. Once she was settled he kissed her palm._

"_I like pregnant on you."_

_Bella smiled and leaned over for a kiss just as Dr. Jennings knocked and walked in._

"_Maybe I should have left you a chaperone, Bella."_

"_Hi, Dr. J," Bella greeted as she chuckled and blushed at getting caught. _

"_And who might this be," Dr. Jennings asked as he shook Edward's hand and then headed to the sink to wash up._

"_This is Edward, my fiancé."_

"_Nice to meet you, Edward."_

"_Same to you. Although I didn't know my fiancé's OBGYN was a man."_

"_Oh, you knew." Bella rolled her eyes._

"_Is that a problem with you, Edward?" Dr. Jennings asked seriously as he settled in front of Bella. This wasn't the first time he'd had a patient whose husband or boyfriend had a problem with him._

"_Don't listen to Edward. He's been talking to his brother too much."_

"_Well, I just think that a woman would be better suited for the position. After all, women would be more…knowledgeable—naturally speaking—than a man," Edward replied with a smile._

"_You've been talking to Alice, too," Bella accused. _

_Alice had been trying to get Bella to come to her doctor since they found out they were both pregnant. _

"_She has a point. I did some research."_

"_Of course you did, Agent. Don't be so anal."_

"_Well, Edward," Dr. Jennings began moving Bella's legs into the stirrups. "Shift down a little bit more for me, Bella. Is it okay that Edward is in here during the examination? Procedural question. Some women are uncomfortable with their significant others in here during the exam," he directed toward Edward._

"_No, he's fine. Wouldn't leave anyway."_

"_Edward," Dr. Jennings continued as he slipped on gloves and shot a smirk at Edward. _

_Edward growled a little._

"_Down boy," Bella soothed. _

"_Though a woman has a great deal of, how did you say it? Oh yes, 'natural' knowledge, a male physician is just as capable of tending to a woman, pregnant or otherwise, as a female physician." Dr. Jennings lifted Bella's gown and pushed it up and began the exam._

"_Mmm."_

"_You okay up there?"_

"_Yeah, it's just a little uncomfortable at first."_

"_Just relax. So far so good. With a woman," Dr. Jennings continued with Edward. "there is the familiarity of how things work and what those thing cause within a woman from experience. Suppose I was a woman for a moment and suppose I'd never had children. Would that make me any less qualified to be an OB than say a colleague whose had at least one child? Despite the fact that I'm a woman? But beyond that, man or woman, if the patient isn't comfortable and forthcoming with their doctor, it doesn't matter what my gender is." Edward sat back, legs crossed to ponder that._

"_Alright. Everything feels and looks normal. You're coming right along," he said folding the gown down again and taking Bella's legs out of the stirrups._

"_Feel better?" Bella asked Edward._

"_Some," Edward replied still looking a bit uncomfortable._

_Bella held out her hand._

"_Don't be too hard on him Bella. His concern is perfectly normal. It's a little hypocritical, but I didn't want my wife to have the doctor she did have and he's my partner." Dr. Jennings laughed as he stood to wash his hands._

"_I understand your Dr. Cullen's son, no? I did a couple rotations under him when he was at Northwest."_

"_Really? I wouldn't have thought."_

"_I carry my age well, according to my wife. My oldest is twenty-one in four months. My how they grow. Like weeds," he said as he turned._

"_But don't worry, Edward. Your wife is in good hands. I've delivered more than six-hundred babies, roughly, that's at least one a week for fifteen years if you were wondering, and one of my own in the back seat of my car in the middle of rush hour traffic on the side of the freeway. Now," he directed toward Bella, "you get dressed and I'll be back and see if Baby Cullen wants to play nice and tell us the sex hidden beneath."_

"_Agent Cullen, you'll get wrinkles if you worry too much."_

"_Is it wrong of me to want the best for you and Baby Cullen?" Edward rested his head on Bella's stomach after she dressed and just held her. She realized he felt the needed to hold her as close a possible._

_Bella ran her fingers through his hair. _

"_I love you."_

_Each time she said it, it was easier than the last._

"_We have the best. For us, we have the best." Bella lifted his head and gave him a kiss._

_The knock came. "Can't leave you two alone for a minute. On the table. This will be cold," Dr, Jennings said after he'd set up the sonogram machine._

"_Alright, let us see what we can see. Strong heart beat. There's the head," he pointed out. "And we have…Cullen junior. It's a boy. Congratulations."_

"_Oh…" Bella breathed as she reached out to the screen. Tears streaming down her face. "I never thought I'd be this happy. Edward."_

"_I see him, love. I see him…"_

"Edward? Son, are you alright?"

"Yeah, Dad, I'm fine. Just…I'm happy. Really happy for the first time in a long time."

"You have much to be happy about. You have yourself a beautiful family. Your mother and I are so proud of you. Of both of you."

"I just keep waiting for it to disappear. I've loved her for so many years before and then she was gone. To have her back now…"

Carlisle looked at his second child understanding his pain. He remembered the time he had loved Esme from afar and then as he nearly lost her with Emmett. He knew what it was to yearn; to have and to fear having it all taken away especially when you seemed to have everything to lose.

Carlisle patted Edward on the back as they moved toward everyone else.

"Don't fear the unknown, Edward. It keeps you from enjoying what's in front of you in the present. Be with your family and love them now, because right now is all that matters."

Edward walked to his glowing wife to be and followed his father's advice. He kissed her with all the passion he could muster in the moment. Bella giggled against his lips from the surprise of it.

"Careful, Edward," Susan said.

"We don't need a reenactment of why we're at a baby shower."

"Sue," Emmet started putting his arm around her.

"Can I call you Sue? Good," he answered for her. "I think we're going to be great friends," he bellowed and they both laughed.

"Bells?"

Bella turned around to see Jacob.

"You made it!"

"Of course I made it. Didn't think I was going to miss my best friend's baby shower did you?" Jake said hugging Bella.

"I want you to meet someone," Jacob said gesturing to the young woman behind him to stand by his side.

"Bells this is Vanessa. Vanessa, this is Bella."

"It's so nice to finally meet you. Jake never stops talking about you," Vanessa said reaching out to give Bella a hug.

"Same to you. Jake has told me all about you."

"Bella."

"Billy! I'm so glad you could make it."

Billy reached up for Bella to hug him.

"I wouldn't miss my Goddaughter's shower for the world," Billy whispered as he leaned in a bit more.

"Charlie and Henry would be so proud of you, Little One."

"Thank you, Billy," Bella replied with tears in her eyes.

"There's just one thing I don't understand," Seth started as he came rushing in, followed by Quil, Embry, Sam and Emily.

"Showers are a woman's thing. Why are we here?" he grinned.

"You could always just leave, then."

"Aw, don't be like that Bells. I bought you a gift."

"You'd better have," Alice said popping up.

"Gifts are mandatory. Men are here because showers are about the baby and babies come from love and I love my family, so, therefore, _**we**_ want our family here. Even the men."

"Alice, you know I would have crashed even if my sex wasn't invited."

"Better have," Alice laughed as Seth caged her in a hug.

An hour later, the Whitlock-Cullen Baby Shower was in full swing in Volterra. Friends and family laughed and drank and colleagues mixed and mingled themselves within the group that seemed to have always been one well oiled unit.

"Eduardo!"

"Eduardo?" Emmett asked with a gleam in his eyes.

"Eduardo, my boy," Claudio called as he walked in, short, round and buoyant as ever. He clasped Edward's hands in congratulations.

"Where is the Isabella bella and the lovely Alice?"

Edward moved back to bring Bella forward.

"Bella, this is Claudio. His family owns Volterra. Claud, this is my Isabella."

"Eduardo, you've been blessed my boy. _L'amabile isabella è più che bella. é bellissima. Se non fossi un uomo sposato e dieci anni più giovane_," hesaid looking at Edward. "Welcome, my dear," Claudio finished kissing her cheeks.

"Do you know what he said?" Bella asked Edward.

He shook his head as Carlisle leaned in from behind chuckling as he clasped Edward on the back. Claudio saw this action and grinned widely realizing Carlisle spoke Italian.

To his right, Claudio saw Alice and brought her forward. "_Due ragazze amabili per il principe di uno. __Sia__ benedetto il bambino che verrà e le loro faiglie_,"Claudio said kissing her cheeks.

"A gift for the mother's to be."

As if on queue, two of Claudio's Nephews walked in holding cakes; one pink and brown and the other blue.

"Claudio, they're beautiful," Alice spoke, tears coming down her face.

"Oh, don't mind me," she said as Jasper appeared behind her.

"Stupid hormones."

After Claudio's nephews sat the cakes on the center table in between pink and blue diaper cakes, he handed Edward and Jasper a pack of edible cigars and left them with a pat on the back.

As the evening continued to wind down, more champagne was opened and toasted—sparkling cider for the mothers. Gifts were being opened, jokes made and memories made. Until finally it was time for the final gift.

Bella and Edward had already given Alice her gift, but Bella had another for her.

"Alice, this is my gift to you," Bella said as Edward hefted the gift over from the back to sit in front of her, with a wide grin on his face.

"Damn, Bella—"

"Emmett, language," Esme chastised.

"What? It's practically bigger than Alice."

"Oh, Bella, what is it?"

"Well, it's sort of a gift that's not just for you," She grinned.

"I think you'll like it."

Alice took hold of a corner and tore the paper straight down the front. Alice sat there with a look of shock on her face as she stared at her gift. Behind her Seth and Jacob stood laughing so hard they had tears pouring out of their eyes by the buckets. They were doubled over holding onto one another as Alice just sat there in shook.

Jasper leaned over to get a good look at the gift.

"Well, what is it?" Emmett asked impatiently.

"Alice, honey," Jasper started as he tried no to laugh.

"It's really— it's inventive— I—" Jasper didn't know what to say. He looked at Bella and grinned.

"Alice," Bella called innocently.

"Don't you like it?" Bella asked solemnly as she looked to Emmett and gave him a wink that said wait for it.

Alice looked up. She wasn't sure if she should strangle Bella or laugh.

"You got me a My Life Size Barbie Ballerina," she accused trying to hide her own smile.

Everyone who knew Alice, but more so knew Alice and Bella burst into laughter.

"What, I thought it was a good idea. It took me a long time to find that," Bella continued seriously.

"They don't sell them anymore. Now, Baby Whitlock won't be subjected to the same torture I was since you have you're very own Barbie."

"Alice," Emmett started.

"You think you're clothes are too small for it?" He asked with a mischievous grin on his face.

*** * *RMF* * ***

Hello hello.

Hope you enjoyed the chapter. Hopefully, 5k words puts me back in your good graces a while and no flying butter knives.

Pictures and links are on the site under the 'chapter40' header. Bellow in bold is what Claudio said the Bella and Alice in Italian.

I'd like to give thanks to my friend and Beta, Misty!!! And to Nuria. And a thanks to my _ate_ Ayana and Caroline and her friend for their help in this chapter. Much appreciated it.

**The lovely Isabella is more than beautiful. She's gorgeous. If I weren't a married man and ten years younger**

**Two lovely ladies for the price of one. Bless it be the children to be and their families**

**Thank a Million Orange Bubbles!**

**Charley**


	40. Truth

Yeah, yeah I know. I'm the biggest procrastinating flake ever, but didn't I warn you about that? Still, I'm sorry. I'd meant to update in Nov. then in Dec. and so forth, but reality has a tendency to get in the way of life and inspiration taking a self proclaimed holiday. BUT! BUT! **THE STORY IS COMPLETED!!! **There are three chapters after this one. A possible outtake, but I'll only write it if you guys want it, otherwise, I won't.

Onward with the read. . .

**Thursday, October 23**

"Hello," Bella answered as she browsed the racks at _Pacific Place Mall_.

"Finally, I'm here. I nearly had to fake early labor to get of the phone."

"Alice, that's not even funny."

"You're telling me. Where are you? I just entered the mall."

"Second level. _Gymboree_," she answered before Alice hung up.

As Alice waddled herself into _Gymboree_ she stopped just inside the store and smirked at the sight before her. Bella was standing in front of a clothing table, her purse on her shoulder and a mesh bag hung from her forearm that was nearly filled to the top with baby clothes.

"Starting without me?"

"Well, you were late, and I had Chinese food for lunch and a pretzel stick dipped in soft serve. If I'd waited any longer, I'd still be eating," Bella laughed as she held out a blue and white stripped romper, turning it back and forth to get a feel for it.

"If he looks like Edward, which I think he will—I hope he will—I think this will look cute but what if he has my hair color?" She asked, examining it some more.

"I'm not so sure," she answered herself sitting it down and moving on only to come back and pick it up again placing it in her bag for good measure.

She had a feeling he'd look just like his Daddy.

Bella moved to another table, looking at more clothes. These were six to twelve month, but she figured that it didn't hurt to see what was out there. Maybe she'd even pick up a couple pieces just to have them around in case he outgrew his smaller clothes faster than expected.

Alice quietly followed behind Bella, looking at this and that occasionally, but mostly she was focused on Bella. Her best friend and hater of all things shopping, or, at least, she used to be.

Bella occasionally muttered something to herself or asked Alice for her opinion only to answer it herself and stick her find in the bag anyway before moving on to the next item that caught her eye.

"Alice?"

"Hmm?"

"Aren't you going to get some things for the baby? You're further along than I am and you've barely looked. It's not like you," Bella accused glancing back at her briefly.

She noticed the befuddled look on Alice's face and stopped completely.

"What?"

"You're shopping."

Bella sighed in exasperation and continued on.

"I shop."

"No, you don't. Hardly ever. You'd think someone was trying to give you a root canal with no novacaine the way you avoid it."

"You're exaggerating."

"No."

"I don't like shopping with you because you don't know when to stop," Bella replied holding up another onesie along side overalls with matching mesh shoes and a bucket hat.

"Like?"

Alice decided not to fight it. She was just happy to be enjoying this with her best friend.

"I do. And look, they have the same set in pink."

"You should get it in twelve months so they can be twins."

They continued to shop a while longer allowing Alice to catch up a bit before going into a department store to get more clothes to accommodate their growing bellies.

"So, when are you and Edward getting the bedroom furniture?"

"We ordered it last week, actually."

"Ordered?!" Alice stared at her friend in shock.

"You mean online ordered?"

Bella laughed.

"Yes, but we looked at it in the store first. Something about a discount ordering online and free shipping. Besides," Bella continued. "they only had the floor model in the set we chose, so it worked out well."

"I'll let that slide this one time. What about the boys? What are they going to be for Halloween? It's in a couple of days."

"Esme didn't tell you?"

Alice shook her head as she held something out to Bella.

"She's making Thing One and Thing Two costumes for them. They were watching Dr. Seuss and decided they wanted to be that instead of twin Sponge Bobs," Bella laughed heartily.

"You have no idea how happy your brother was to hear that. I thought he'd do a victory lap around the neighborhood."

* * *

**Friday, October 31**

Getting the boys ready to go trick-or-treating was an all out event for Bella. The boys were truly living up to their costumes and—without the help of Edward, who was peacefully stationed in the front seat of Bella's truck, out cold on flu meds—she was completely exhausted by the time they arrived home.

She was especially glad that Esme drove up from Forks to the city for Halloween. She just wouldn't have survived it otherwise. It didn't help that Edward insisted on going with them trick-or-treating while Esme stayed at the house and fixed dinner.

"How's Edward?"

"Resting. I could barely get his shoes off before he was out cold again," Bella replied as she sat at the table with Esme and watched the boys pick through their candy before bed.

"And how are you feeling, dear?"

Bella sat back in her chair, resting a hand on her belly.

"Mostly, I feel fine. I get tired a lot easier, like tonight with Thing One and Thing Two tearing up the place," Bella explained as the boys giggled at her from their spots on the floor.

"Oh, Bella, you're all so beautiful together and you're so good with the boys; good for them." _All of them,_ she thought as she sipped at her tea.

Bella smiled as she gazed at the boys adoringly, as they played on the floor, combining and sorting through their stockpile of candy.

"I never would have imagined._ Could _have imagined. . . "

"Some women are just naturally maternal. Being a woman doesn't automatically make us innately maternal. For most, it's a learned trait over time. Trial and error. Mistakes made and learned from and passed down from one woman to another."

"I love them so much. I didn't think I could love them so much; want them this much and this one, too," Bella confessed as she rested her hands on her swollen stomach.

"You're a beautiful mother. I always knew you would be."

"Renee sent me a letter. Hand delivered."

"Does—" Esme began, thinking of her daughter's reaction. Alice absolutely detested Renee.

She herself, as well as Carlisle, had their issues with how Renee handled everything with Charlie and Bella, but she tried her hardest not to judge her. She could never bring herself to walk away from her own children or speak one ill word about Carlisle. She pushed her personal feelings aside choosing to remain neutral in all things having to do with Renee and try her best to be there for Bella as much as she would allow.

"No. No one but Edward. I guess she showed up at my house looking for me and found Edward. She asked him to give it to me."

Esme hesitated a moment. She didn't want to pry, but she knew that Bella bringing it up meant she wanted to talk about it.

"Have you read it, dear?"

"I've opened it a thousand times. I've only read the first line."

"You should read it. Give her a chance to explain—make peace—not only for her, but for you, as well."

Esme paused as she again thought back. Remembering. There was so much Bella didn't know. Couldn't know. She agreed with Charlie's decision to keep the knowledge of what really happened from her in the beginning. She was only a child and would never have understood. His plan had always been to tell her the truth when he felt she was old enough to understand and fully process it.

After Charlie's death, there just never seemed to be the right time to tell her and now she feared she and Carlisle made the wrong decision in not making it the 'right time' to tell Bella the truth about what really happened.

"We're not perfect. Mothers and fathers. Parents. We're all just human and we sometimes say the wrong things, things we regret later on. We make mistakes; it's our lot in life as human beings. Parenthood is a learned way of life. We learn and evolve right alongside the children we raise and teach."

"Yours were so young when they had you. Barely adults when such a gift just seemed to drop on their doorstep overnight. When a baby comes so unexpectedly, it can be a scary thing to take in and at such a young age. When you're scared, you make poor choices. Renee was young, inexperienced. She was newly married not a year out of high school and made poor choices in her fear."

"I know, but she hurt me so much, Esme. Even though I had Charlie and Henry, you and Carlisle, there was still a part of me missing, a void that she should have been there to fill but while I was in Phoenix, I'd wish for you. All I could think about was coming home to Forks. I envied Alice for so long for having a mother that loved her when I didn't and hated myself for envying her when I had Charlie and Henry.

"I was so ready to forgive her. To love her the way Alice loves you, but the things she did and said about Charlie and Henry. . . " Bella sighed shaking her head, remembering all the cruel things Renee had said to her.

She looked to the boys, still playing on the floor, and couldn't imagine doing to them what her mother did to her. Though she was terrified of being a mother, she knew, without a doubt, that she'd never be able to willingly walk away from them; to turn her back on them completely.

It was then that Bella finally understood what Alice had always tried to convince her of. What they'd all, in their own ways, tried to tell her. She wasn't her mother. Renee had hurt her and left scars that would never cease to exist, but she wasn't Renee. She's made her own mistakes: pushed her friends and family away out of pain because she was scared of turning out like her mother. She had stopped enjoying life because she didn't think she deserved it, but through it all, Bella was never anything like her mother.

She'd made her decision.

"I'll read the letter."

* * *

After settling the boys in bed—once their Halloween candy induced high met it's peak and started the downward slope—with Esme's help, Bella made sure Edward had his next dose of medicine and re-tucked him into bed in the guest bedroom, as per his request, and made her way to bed.

She sat there for a moment or two, maybe an hour—she wasn't sure—just looking at the letter from Renee wondering what was within the pages she held in her shaky hands.

She took a deep breath. It was now or never, she decided opening the letter.

_Dear Bella,_

_You're pregnant!_

_I guess congratulations are in order. I'm happy for you and your growing family. Edward seems like a good man. I wrote you this letter because I wasn't sure you'd listen to me. We've never had a good relationship. I know that's my fault and for that I'm sorry. I truly am. I have always loved you, but I've had a poor way of showing it, and I blamed you for not loving me back the way I wanted. I blamed your father and grandfather for being there for you, for loving you when I couldn't. But mostly, I blamed them for trying to help me when I needed it the most. _

_I know Charlie loved me and was only trying to do right by you and me, but I didn't want his help. I didn't want to admit I had a problem. I was young, and I was scared. It's no excuse for they way I treated you, your father and Henry. Bella, we were so young when we married. I was barely out of high school and there was your father, young and handsome in a police uniform. I never thought twice about saying yes when he asked me to marry him, but I've always been the type to leap first, think after. _

_After you were born, it was hard for me to be a mother. No matter what I did it just never seemed to be enough or the right thing. I had PPD, Postpartum Depression. Charlie and Henry tried to help me as much as they could. Even Esme helped when she could, and she had three young children of her own. I hated her because she could take care of her three as well as my daughter. When out-patient care wasn't working, my doctor and Charlie thought it was best if I had in-patient care and they were right. I needed help, but I didn't want it. _

_When I was released a few months later I never came back out of anger and embarrassment for needing "mental stability treatment." That's when I met Phillip. He knew about you and Charlie, but I never told him about the PPD. Even now he doesn't know. He made me feel alive. Healthy. Not like some nutcase that couldn't even be around her own daughter without mentally picturing drowning her in the bath and then taking my own life. _

_I embraced everything about Phil and everything he made me feel, and I fell in love with him. Despite my happiness with Phil, I missed you. Yet even after so many years, I was still so angry at your dad for having me institutionalized regardless of the fact that I truly needed it. I know that what I did was horrible. Unforgivable even. The way I treated you and your father, and the things I said were deplorable. None of them were true, but I lashed out at him and at you because I needed to lash out at someone. I know I can never fully repair the damage I did and the pain I cause you for so many years. I know my PPD is not an excuse for the choices I made after getting help, but I wanted you to know my side of the story. I wanted you to understand me the way I never allowed you to and I hope that one day you can forgive me for all the pain I have caused you._

_I love you always,_

_Mom._

*** * *RMF* * ***

So, now you know about Renee.

Postpartum Depression is a very serious form of depression ranging from moderate to severe and should never be taken lightly or brushed aside. Like Clinical Depression it can be hereditary, but that doesn't guarantee that a daughter will suffer because her mother did and vise versa.

Million orange thanks to the PMs and emails I have received on this story and my mental well being. I didn't reply to every one, but I did read each and every message and I thank you.  
Charley


	41. Closure

Howdy ya'll! Not going to talk you to death. Just want to say thanks to my two favorite ladies, Misty and Nuri, for all the help they give me and for putting up with me. I'm a handful. And also at _Breath-of-twilight_ who helped me with the last chapter as well.

**Also! I have the best readers in you guys. You're all such lovely persons; I just wanted you to know that.**

**Onward with the read. . .**

**Wednesday, November 5**

Bella fluttered from one end of the house to the next cleaning as Goober lay watching her from his place in the foyer.

It had barely been a week since she'd finally read her mother's letter explaining why she'd always been so awful.

After a swift recovery, Edward had asked many times what was bothering her and each time she told him it was nothing—just the baby blues—but when he wouldn't relent, she finally told him she wasn't ready to talk about it.

The thing was she didn't know what to do or say about this revelation. It explained so many things, but where did that leave her? Knowing that Renee struggled with motherhood both relieved and scared her. On the one hand, the secret fear that she'd done something to make her mother stop loving her was mostly reduce to nothing, but now she feared that she actually could turn out like her mother.

All she could think about as she continued her mad scurrying around the house was how Edward would react to this information. What would he think?

She knew her fear about Edward's opinion of her changing was unfounded, but she still worried.

--

With the boys in bed and Edward at the sink, Bella sat at on one of the stools watching him. His strong arms would disappear and reappear covered in soap suds before dipping in clean water and coming out clean as he placed the dishes in the drying rack.

It was now or never, she thought.

She wasn't really ready to tell him. She wasn't sure if she'd ever be ready to tell him, but she had to; wanted to in some way.

"All done," he said pulling her from her thoughts and letting the water drain out of the sink.

"Would you like some warm milk? You haven't been sleeping well the last couple nights," Edward hedged.

"Jasper says adding a cinnamon stick helps too and gives it a nice flavor."

"I need to tell you something. It's about what's been bothering me," she finally blurted out.

"Alright. Rest in the family room and I'll bring you some milk."

As Edward turned to the fridge for the milk to heat, Bella made her way to the family room and sat down in the middle trying to formulate her thoughts into some kind of order.

Should she ease him into it or rip it off like a band-aid?

Beat around the bush or give it to him straight? Was there middle ground here?

"Careful, the mug is a little hot," Edward warned as he sat down by the arm, handed her the cup and waited.

Bella took a sip of milk followed by a deep breath.

"I read Renee's letter."

Edward waited patiently as Bella gathered strength to continue. He held her hand rubbing soothing circles in her palm so she knew he was there for her.

"Renee had Postpartum Depression. Charlie had her committed and when she was released, she just left. She says she was ashamed she needed help. She said she was angry."

"How do you feel about that?"

"I don't know. It explains some things and it doesn't. Just because she was scared and embarrassed didn't give her the right to treat us the way she did. Charlie and Henry didn't deserve it. I didn't deserve it."

She took a stilling breath as her voice began to waver. Edward wrapped his arms around her trying his best to give her comfort and strength.

"It didn't give her the right to leave me, damn it! I needed her and she just left me."

Edward eased the mug from Bella's hands as she began to shake.

"I know sweetheart."

"Why couldn't she stay for me? Why couldn't she love me the way I needed? She didn't try," Bella sobbed into Edward's neck.

Bella was finally able to say the things she'd never known she was feeling. She was overcome with these feelings she'd never know she could feel because she hadn't known why she should feel them. With one weight of the unknown being lifted off her shoulders, she was weighed down with the weight of knowing.

"I'm so scared. I don't want to be that way with our baby. What's going to happen if I. . . if I. . ."

"Bella, you never have to worry about that. I'll be here for you no matter what. The whole family will be. You are not you mother. Yes, there could be a chance you'll have Postpartum Depression, but it's not a guarantee and if you do, it doesn't mean you'll walk away. You're stronger than you know. You're stronger than her."

Edward sat there for what felt like an endless amount of time rocking Bella as her tears subsided. He'd suspected that her mood lately had to do with the letter, but he wasn't sure. He never pressured her to talk about the letter, but always made sure Bella knew he'd be there for her when she was ready.

"What will we do if I have it?" Bella asked. "Do you—"

"I love you, Bella. That will never change, no matter what."

"I love you, too, Edward."

"Tomorrow morning we'll call the doctor and make an appointment. The best thing, I think, is to stay a step ahead. Now that we know this is a possibility, we can discuss it with the doctor and make preparation together about how to handle it if we have to. You'll never be truly alone in this, I promise."

*** * ***

**Saturday, November 8**

It was lunch time when Bella got home from doing a little early grocery shopping for Thanksgiving. Esme, Alice, Rosalie and she had taken a list of the things they needed and spilt it into fours to lighten the load of dinner shopping before they all headed to Forks on the twenty-fourth.

She'd needed the time to think.

When she stepped out of her truck, Edward was there to greet her with a kiss and a hand.

"Where are the boys?'

"Nap," he replied simply as she moved around the truck to unload.

"I'd like to talk to you about something," Bella stated slowly as they unpacked bags and she checked things off her portion of the list.

"What's that?" Edward asked.

"I'd like to go to Phoenix. Next week, before the holiday rush. I need to see her. Talk to her."

Edward moved forward and gathered her in his arms.

"Would you like me to go with you? For moral support?"

"You're alright with me going?"

"You're appointment is Tuesday, so I'd like to ask Dr. Jennings if it's alright for you to fly otherwise, I'll drive you down and we'll see if Alice or Em can keep the boys and Goober or ask mom to come up. I'm perfectly okay with you going though. Whatever you need, Bella I'll be there."

Bella leaned in and kissed Edward.

She truly loved that man.

--

**Tuesday, November 11**

In the doctor's office, Bella was asked the usual questions. Blood pressure and weight recorded before she and Edward were escorted to Dr. Jennings office.

"It's alright," Edward crooned as he took hold of Bella's hand again as they sat. She had been so nervous all morning that she had checked and rechecked the boys' bags and lunchboxes and almost fed Goober twice before Edward made her sit down and sip decaffeinated tea.

"Ah, my favorite parents to be. How are you?" Dr. Jennings asked as he came in.

"Well, thanks," Edward answered for them both after shaking the doctors hand.

"So, Bella, tell me what's going on."

Bella took a breath looking at Edward before she spoke.

"I just found out that my mother had Postpartum Depression."

"Do you know the severity?"

"I don't know a lot about it actually but she was committed. I'm not sure how long."

When she paused, Edward raised her hand and kissed her fingers and continued for her.

"We want to be prepared for the possibility. We want to know what we can do now and after? I'm concerned for their health and well being. And Bella is concerned about hurting our baby and herself."

After asking a series of questions, Dr. Jennings stepped out of the office returning moments later.

"Alright, Bella, Edward, I have some paperwork for you here on what PPD is. How it's different from Clinical Depression. What to expect and so forth. Based on what you've told me, you don't appear to be experiencing Antepartum Depression, which is like PPD except it's during the pregnancy.

"Because of the affect of antidepressants, they can't be administered during pregnancy. Do you plan to breast feed, Bella?"

"I'd like to. I read it was better for the baby than formula."

"You're right it is. This is what we'll do. You have a sister or friend, someone who is close to you having a baby as well, correct?"

"My sister," Edward added.

"There are support groups that you can go to. It's like AA except it deals with the difficulties that can occur during and after pregnancy. What it's like for the mother and the father. It can be a great help to you now before you deliver and after. If your sister is willing to go with you," Dr. Jennings said looking at Edward, "that would be great added support for you both.

"Have your family and close friends be aware. If they know what's going on and have an understanding about PPD, they may be at a better advantage to know if you seem a little out of sorts. Also, shortly after you give birth, we can start you on a low-dose antidepressant with the help of the support group and bi-weekly check-ins with a psychologist. Some women with a history of PPD opt for this to stay on the safe side and forego breast feeding.

"How do you two feel about that?"

Bella and Edward looked at one another for a moment in silent communication before Bella found her voice.

"I'd like to try the support group. Now and after, but I'd like to wait on the meds. I don't want to take it if I don't have to. Edward and I have a supportive family that will watch out for us," Bella said placing her hand on her belly.

"Okay. Now, with that being said, would there be anyone around to help you during those first few months? Maybe even take the baby for a few hours? I'd like you to still see a psychologist once a week for check-ins for the first three months and after that we'll evaluate your progress and go from there."

"My mother will help. She'll have no problem watching the baby on the days I have to work. Will I need to come in for these appointments?"

"That's mostly at the doctor's discretion depending on how Bella's first few appointments go. She's may decide to though. It's good to have both parents there sometimes because your experiences as parent will be very different from Bella's"

Bella was terrified and relieved all at once. It was still terrifying that she could possibly harm their baby, but she was relieved that they were taking the necessary precautions to stop such a terrible thing from happening. This baby was part of her—part of Edward—and she wanted him to live a happy, healthy life. She would do everything in her power to make damn certain that he did.

**Wednesday, November 12**

Standing in line for the ticket counter, Bella held Edward as close as her protruding stomach would allow trying to gather as much strength from him as she could.

After Dr. Jennings gave Bella the all clear for her trip, she and Edward booked the first flight out after school started for the boys. It was all very easy, easier than she wanted it to be, because now she wished she'd told Edward to come with her.

She so desperately wanted to tell him to buy a ticket once they reached the counter because she just didn't want to let him go, but she knew this was not just something she needed to do, but something that she needed to do on her own.

But she felt _marginally_ better knowing that all she had to do was say the word and Edward would be there.

As the line continued to move, she held on a little tighter. With each step closer her heart broke a little more as she remembered having to tell the boys she would be gone a few days. This was the first major trip she'd have away from the boys and the first she'd had since they'd officially become one family. The boys didn't want her to go and she didn't want to leave them but snuggling one on each side of her as they cried themselves to sleep hardened her resolve to do this more than ever.

She not only needed to be able to show the boys that she'd always be there for them no matter what but she needed to prove to herself that she could come back; that once and for all she wasn't, in fact, her mother's daughter.

--

After a tiring plane ride, Bella made it to the car rental kiosk and head for her mother's place.

When she pulled up, she wished she'd called, but there may have been the chance she'd have chickened out of the whole thing if she had.

She'd never had such conflicting thoughts. She wanted to blame it on the pregnancy, but she knew it was her uncertainty of what would happen after this and confronting a painful past head on.

Thinking, no time like the present and looking down at her engagement ring for strength, she stepped out of her rental and headed to the all too familiar door and rang the bell.

Moments later, Phil opened the door.

"Bella?"

"Hi, Phil," she said cautiously.

She wasn't sure why she felt so cautious with Phil but she was. Phil had always been okay with her. For a step father, she liked him, but she realized she really didn't know anything about him. She'd never really given herself a chance to get to know him when she was younger. She'd only yearned for the family she left in Forks.

"Well, haven't you grown up to be just the prettiest girl in the world," he said leaning in to hug her. She looked so nervous and he thought maybe a hug could help.

"You must be tired after your travels. Come in and sit down and tell me how you and the baby are. Would you like some lemonade?"

"Yes, thank you," Bella said as Phil ushered her into the kitchen.

"The baby and I are doing alright. He's healthy and on schedule my doctor says."

It was easy to talk to Phil, she noticed. He was easygoing and open. Had he always been that way? She wondered.

"A grandson. I'll have myself a grandson. That's great news Bella. Renee tells me you're engaged, as well," Phil said sitting a glass in front of her.

It was a cheery yellow frosted glass with cracks that made it look like cobblestone. In fact the whole kitchen looked cheery. Exactly as she remembered it and not at all like she'd expected or thought she remembered.

The picture she painted of the home she lived in for a short time hadn't always looked like this. Could it?

"Yes. Edward was a childhood friend and one of my best friend's older brothers."

"I'm happy for you, Bella. Renee's not here. She should be back soon—"

"Phillip?"

"In the kitchen."

"Did we have plans with—Bella?"

Bella stood.

They looked at one another for a moment, neither saying a word.

Bella was suddenly tongue tied. She had so many things she wanted to say; so many things she had thought of saying on the short plane trip down, but they all left her as soon as she'd heard her mother's voice. It was softer, perkier than she remembered and nicer than it had ever been when she called.

Renee couldn't believe her was daughter was there, right there in her kitchen where she thought she'd never see her again. She'd started to feel discouraged when the weeks went by and there were no calls. She started to think that it was too late to repair the relationship she single handedly demolished between herself and Bella.

"I'm going to get some dinner. Bella you still like Chinese, right?"

"Oh, yes. Thanks."

Phil gave Renee a kiss and a quick squeeze before walking out.

"Bella I—"

"Why didn't you try? If you didn't love Charlie anymore or you were angry or embarrassed or whatever, fine. But why did you have to leave me, too?"

"Oh, baby, I'm sorrier about that than you could ever know. I know nothing I say can ever change what I did, but I loved you so much. I still do. It's why I let Henry convince Charlie to commit me."

"Henry?"

"Your father loved us so. He didn't want to do anything that would hurt me further, but he was concerned for you too. He just didn't know what to do. I didn't want to be institutionalized, but Henry sat me down after a particularly bad day and asked me one simple question. 'How much do you love your daughter, Renee?' he said to me. That's all it took and I hated your grandfather everyday for making me see that I needed help. I didn't want to admit I needed help, but I loved you, so I went. When the doctors told me that I was ready to go home, I was too ashamed but mostly, I—" Renee hesitated a second before she continued steeling herself not to cry.

Bella watched her mother with brand new eyes. This was a side of Renee she'd never seen. Never knew she had.

"I was afraid I wasn't ready. That I'd hurt you again."

"Again?"

"The day I agreed to in-patient care was the day I referred to as the day I was too busy to kill myself. I'd kept having these thoughts about things I could do, but then I'd remember something I needed to do."

"Like what?" Bella asked not really wanting to know, but needing to.

Renee sighed. She was happy that Bella was talking to her, but she'd never wanted to tell her these things Yet she knew, as a mother to be, she thought knowing might be helpful to her.

"I remember coming home from the grocery store wanting to drive into telephone pole," she admitted as a sob escaped her lips.

"I had you in the back seat and all that stopped me was remembering that I needed to change your diaper when we got home. Bella, I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. At first I thought I was protecting you by leaving, but then I was just so angry. At everyone and no one, but never at you, baby. I love you so much. I'm sorry."

Tears escaped her eyes as she really looked at the woman before her for the first time_._

"Mom."

"Oh, baby, I'm so sorry," Renee apologized again as she held her daughter in her arms for the first time since she was a baby. This was the first time she'd wrapped her arms around her and felt utter relief in knowing that she couldn't hurt her anymore.

--

"Bella," Edward said picking up on the first ring when she called.

"Hi, how are you and the boys? Getting along without me?"

Edward laughed a sigh of relief.

"Hardly. The boys miss you. Hold on."

Bella could hear Edward calling the boys.

"Mommy!!" they called in excitement. They'd been waiting all day for that call. They'd even made Edward promise to not make them go to sleep until she called.

"My two favorite snacks! I miss you so much. How was school?"

"Mrs. Billingsly let us finger paint today," Kevin said.

"We made you something special for when you come home, but we can't tell you because it's a secret."

"Can I have a hint? Just a little one," Bella laughed into the phone.

"It's plantnum," Kyle replied.

"Platinum," Bella heard Edward correct in the background.

"Well, I can't wait to get home and see it. I love you both."

"Love you!!"

"Bed boys," Edward said as the boys said goodnight. "I'll be up in a few to tuck you in.

"Bella."

"Yeah."

"How was everything? Are you alright?"

"I'm okay. Everything isn't how I wish it was between us but that will take time, I guess. We talked for a while and then we all had dinner and got to know one another. For the first time I feel like I'm getting to know my mom and she sees me and that's okay. It still hurts with everything that's happened, but I don't know. I can't explain it. Things are already different," Bella shrugged.

"That's good. It's a start."

"Yeah, a start."

*** * * RMF * * ***

Hiya!

Forty-two down, two to go! EEK!

Thanks to IrunwithCullen316 for the boys' word.

Okay, bye-bye.

Million orange Jell-o filled balloons dropped on someone's head.

He-he.

Charley


	42. Understanding

There is a song for the end of this Chapter. It's Maxwell's 'A Woman's Work'.

**Onward with the read. . .**

**Thursday, November 28**

**Thanksgiving**

"Mmm, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, go back to sleep," Bella replied as she got out of bed that morning.

Everyone had been back in Forks since Monday for the holiday. While Bella and the rest of the women made preparations for their Thanksgiving feast, the men sat around arguing and playing cards and watching football in the den.

Even Carlisle had been home everyday that week well before dinner and had the whole day off.

"Where are you going? Come back to bed," Edward suggested as he took hold of Bella and brought her back down beside him.

"I have to get up. You know, if you want to eat tonight, I _need_ to get up. I already hear Esme."

"Let the others handle it."

Bella laughed.

"I can't do that. It's a joint effort."

"You're pregnant. You get a pass," Edward said as he unbuttoned his shirt that Bella liked wearing to bed.

"So is Alice."

"That's different."

Edward slid the offending material half down her arms trapping her in place.

"Why?" Bella asked only half wanting to know as she situated herself over Edward.

She never got her answer.

"Well, well, well, look what the cat dragged in."

"Shut up, Alice," Bella said as she made her way in the kitchen to help with the cooking at a quarter to eight.

"You're more that an hour late, missy," Alice chastised wagging a finger at her as she laughed.

"But out, pixie stick."

"You'd think you'd be in a better mood after, but no."

"Oh, Alice, leave her alone. You were a little late too if I recall, dear," Esme said trying not to laugh.

Alice smiled sheepishly at Bella and shrugged before turning her attention to helping with the dinner preparations.

The girls continued to chat happily as they made dinner. An hour quickly passed and the rest of the house was finally awake and ready for breakfast. Carlisle got everyone's order and he and Edward went to the local diner to put in the order. After breakfast was served, Bella excused herself to call her Renee.

"Hello?"

"Mom, it's Bella."

"Oh, hi baby! Happy Thanksgiving. I'm so glad to hear from you. How's all of that cooking going?"

"It's good. How about on your end?"

"Oh, well you know me. I'm trying to stay out of the way but Phil's mother has given me a few recipes to try over the years that I almost have down pat. Last year's stuffing was at least edible, so that's something," she laughed and was immediately cheered even further to hear a laugh from Bella.

"What are you making this year?"

"Pumpkin pie and I'm trying this new recipe for apple stuffing which is apparently foolproof, but we'll see. So far so good, though. The pumpkin pie batter tasted good, so all I have to do is not burn it."

"Funny, I'm making all the pies this year."

"You're not working too hard are you? How early did you get up?"

"I slept in a little bit and pies are pretty easy. I used ready made pie shells this year, so."

Bella and Renee chatted for a few more minutes before they said their goodbyes.

"Oh, Mom?"

"I—I love you, too."

It was hard for Bella to say that, but it felt good to say it. And after talking with Esme when she returned, she had a better picture of the events leading to Renee's departure, though it still bothered her that she and Carlisle knew what happened, but she understood their position to protect her and knew it must have been a hard decision for them either way.

Despite everything that happened between them, she'd always loved her mother. She just didn't know what she'd done to make her not love her in return but now—with everything out in the open—communication between them was easier. It was shocking how easy communication was between them. They still had a long way to go, but it felt good to able to say what she'd always felt in her heart toward Renee and know that she was loved in return.

The rest of the morning passed quickly and it was nearly dinner time when Rosalie realized she'd forgotten to get cranberry sauce.

"Oh, I'll go. I need more marshmallows," Bella said heading upstairs to get her things.

"Anyone need anything else?"

"No dear, I think we're good. The turkey should be ready when you get back. Oh, and Rose, why don't you go with her. The men are in a heated game of gin and Edward will flip if he knows Bella went by herself."

Bella rolled her eyes knowing she was right.

"I'll heat up the car."

Bella was buckled in and situated by the time Rose made it out to the car. She waited for Rose to buckle up and started on her journey to the store. She took the roads slow. It hadn't started snowing yet, but it was Washington where it was always raining and the roads were a bit slushy.

Rose seemed a little agitated, but that wasn't much of a surprise to Bella. She was always agitated when it came to her and she figure she didn't want to be stuck in a car with her no matter how short the ride. She turned on the radio and bobbed her head to a Christmas melody that rang out the speakers.

Rose watched as they made a slow trek to the only grocery store in Forks. She glanced at Bella and watched her bob her head to the music. She looked okay. Happy. Content.

Emmett had sat her down explaining everything that was going on with her mother and how the whole family needed to make an effort to look out for her and Alice as well.

"_Just because Mom didn't have it, doesn't mean Alice won't suffer. It's just more critical with Bella." _She remembered him saying.

So far, Bella seemed the same as she'd always been but talking about Postpartum and hearing what happened to Renee scared Rose. She had always wanted children and it was heartbreaking when the doctors told her that there was a good chance she'd never be able to conceive. Now with the possibility of postpartum in her future, when she thought she might be pregnant, was almost too much to bear.

She hadn't even told Emmett of her suspicion. She didn't want to get both their hopes up.

Emmett said that Bella was a great person, but she'd never taken the chance to get to know her.

_Not that she made it very easy either_, she thought.

If she was being honest, she was a little jealous. Bella hadn't even wanted children, really, and she got pregnant just like that. Yet there she was. She and Emmett had been trying to have a baby for five years with no luck. The years of failure had made her a bit bitter about it all, but Bella couldn't be blamed for her hardships in conceiving. Bella wasn't to blame for how her mother left her or how she blamed herself for her father's death.

Emmett had opened up to her a little about Bella, the relationship they had growing up and a generality about how she felt not having a mother. With Renee being in the picture and mending her relationship with her daughter, he wasn't so tight-lipped and she wasn't so hard on him about his loyalties to her. It was one of the qualities that had made her fall in love with him.

"Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry."

Bella stopped at a red light and looked at Rose in disbelief. Even after it changed to green, she didn't move. No one else was out anyway.

"Why?"

"Because I've been intolerant of you for selfish reasons you had nothing to do with. Because I didn't understand you and I didn't fully understand your history with everyone, with your mom and with Emmett. I guess I was jealous. You had their love so easily and everyone seemed to always walk on eggshells around you. Jasper and I lost our parents, too. If we could bounce back, why couldn't you? You had family. You still had your mother, somewhere, anyway.

"And then you got pregnant and you didn't even want children. Not really. Em and I have been trying for five years."

"I'm sorry, Rosalie. I didn't know."

"It's not your fault. Emmett always told me that if I'd tried to get to know you, that I'd see who you were, but I was jealous and angry. I decided that if you wanted to be friends then you would have tried like you did with Jasper, but I didn't make it easy always avoiding you or snapping at you. I'm sorry for that."

"One of the things I remember about Henry was that he was always saying the grass is never greener on the other side. People say it is, but it isn't," Bella started as she continued to the store.

"It looks that way, because you think you see what you want. Just because my situation or life might not seem as bad as the next—or yours—doesn't make it better. It just makes it different. That's what my grandfather tried to teach me. It's not necessarily better or worse on the other side of the fence, it's just different. All sides have the good and bad points.

"I accept your apology Rose and I'm sorry, too. I didn't really care about how my actions affected everyone around me," Bella said getting out of the car.

In the store they continued to talk a little and Rose discovered that Em was exactly right. She'd nearly spend the last ten years avoiding Bella the way Bella had spent them avoiding life. She was amazed at how quickly they bonded in those short few moments talking. She felt close enough to mention that she thought she might be carrying.

"Really? We have to get a test. Just to see," Bella said veering off to the pharmacy section.

"I don't know how far I could be. It might be too early to tell and I might not even be pregnant."

"They have early ones or something. Alice and I spent like an hour reading box after box when she came to get hers. Oh, early response," She pointed out as the reached the right aisle. "Right here, see? You can take it with Em tonight," Bella suggested after adding the box to the cart and heading to checkout.

"But I don't want to get his hopes up."

"So what, you'll get yours up all by yourself? Trust me, Emmett loves you. He'll want to be with you no matter the outcome. He—OW!" Bella cried out.

"Bella? What's wrong?"

Bella dropped to her knees as another pain shot through her abdomen. She clutched at her stomach in desperate need trying to take deep breaths as the pain continued to shoot through her.

"Ahh!"

"Ms? Is she alright?" a clerk asked.

"Call 911 now!"

"Rose," Bella whimpered raising her hand that was now covered in blood.

"Rose—"

"I'm calling Edward." Rose said shakily as she pulled out her phone.

"Edward, get to the market now. It's Bella… I don't know… she's in a lot of pain and, and she's bleeding," she said ending the call.

"Bella, Edward and Carlisle are on their way. Hang on."

Minutes passed that felt like hours and Rose could hear the ambulance sirens getting closer.

She was so scared. Bella was curled on the floor moaning in agony and there was nothing she could do but tell her to hang on, that Edward would be there soon.

"Ma'am," a paramedic said as he and his partner arrived with a gurney.

"No," Bella whimpered out as they tried to move her.

"I want Edward. Where is he?" She cried.

"He's coming Bella. He'll meet us at the hospital."

"NO. I won't leave without him. I can't. I need him."

"Ma'am, please, we need to get you and your baby to the hospital as soon as possible," the second paramedic said in a gentle voice as she and her partner tried again.

"I want my husband. Edward!" She cried out clutching her stomach as another pain shot through her.

"Bella! Bella, I'm here. What's happening?"

"We need to get her to the hospital."

"Edward, she wouldn't let them move her until you got here."

"I'm here now, sweetheart. Let them help you."

"It's too soon, Edward. It's too soon, he's not ready," she cried as they wheeled her out.

She could faintly hear Rosalie on the phone and Carlisle talking to the paramedics as they wheeled her out, but all she could see was Edward. All she could hear clearly was his voice.

"Dad's going to meet us at the hospital."

"Edward, make sure they save him. They have to save him."

"He's fine. You'll be fine. Everything's fine."

Edward tried to reassure Bella that she and their son were fine, but he felt like anything but fine. How could this be happening? She'd just had a checkup and now she was bleeding and in so much pain. He couldn't stand it. There was nothing for him to do to help her along or ease her pain.

"Edward, where are you going? Don't leave!"

"We're here. We have to get you out," Edward said stepping down out of the truck and waiting for her to be rolled out. Carlisle was right there to meet them as she was lowered from the truck.

"Edward, save him. No matter what, save him. Please."

"Everything's going to be fine."

"I love you."

"I love you, too. It's alright," he said as they wheeled her away from him.

How could everything be fine?

Edward dropped to his knees as he saw his loves blood all over his hands.

Bella.

His son.

Would they come back to him?

"Edward, dear come on, come have a seat."

Edward just stood with the help of Esme's gentle hand. He didn't know what to do. He didn't know what he would do if he lost her or their son. Everything had to be okay. It had to.

It couldn't be any other way.

The minutes ticked away like hours instead of minutes. Each sound he heard was like hearing drums beat while submerged under water.

He could hear it all, but none of it registered.

Jasper offered him coffee in between his calls to Alice back at the house, but he always refused it.

Emmett sat across from him staring at nothing as Rose held his hand. He was just as worried as Edward, but he knew he needed to be strong for his baby brother.

Edward stood from his seat and began to pace. He just couldn't sit there any longer staring at the walls, the floor, those double doors that lead to his life.

He ran his hands through his hair as he paced to the other side of the waiting room again. He looked at his hands again. Though they had been cleaned off, he could still see Bella's blood all over them.

He took a deep sigh to still himself.

What was taking so long?

What was happening to Bella?

What about their son?

How was he going to comfort her if there wasn't a baby boy for her to hold when she woke up?

All he could see was brown hair and brown eyes flashing in his mind.

Her laugh played in his ears.

Her touch across his body.

She had always been familiar to him. He needed her to be okay.

After what felt like year, the double doors open and Carlisle walked out pulling his surgical cap off as he looked at Edward.

And he knew.

*** * * RMF * * ***

The song, A Woman's Work, some of you may remember was featured in She's Having a Baby with Kevin Bacon and Elizabeth McGovern. The song was originally done by Kate Bush, but I like Maxwell's version better. Links to both versions will be on the site.

Epilogue up next.

Oh, the outtakes will be done in three sections. I'll explain more in the epilogue, but just so you know, so many people have asked for it, I will be including the orange and sour cream pound cake and the coffee recipe will be apart of it.

Warning now. I'm told you will need a tissue alert for the next chapter.

Thanks a million orange Scuba Steve dolls.

Charley


	43. Epilogue

I'm a little sad this is the Last chapter. But it's been great. See you at the bottom.

**Onward for the last time. . .**

**Thursday 29 November 2018**

Remembering had a way of keeping the pain fresh, of ripping open a wound that never really healed. Edward knew this well as he recalled the memory that had haunted him since that fateful day; the day that his life changed forever.

"_No."_

"_Edward—"_

"_No," Edward repeated more forcefully as he shook his head._

"_There was too much blood loss. We tried everything."_

"_Then try something else. Try it all again." _

_Edward was shaking and he couldn't understand why his father was out here talking to him instead of in there saving Bella's life. She was his world and he couldn't make it without her. He had to save her._

_The tears pooled in his eyes as he looked at his father. _

_He could feel his family gathering behind him._

"_Edward, I tried everything, I promise. There wasn't enough time. She's gone, son."_

"_NO! Don't you say that to me!" Edward roared as the staff stood and watched the scene unfold._

_Edward didn't want to hear what he had to say. She had to live._

"_Edward. Son, she's gone. I did—"_

"_She's not de… She's not—you go back in there and you save her life. Do you understand me?" Edward demanded through sobs and blurred vision._

_Carlisle reached out to him, but Edward slapped his hand away. He turned away from him then turned back just as fast._

"_You go back in there and you bring her back to me. You bring her back to me, Dad. I can't…I can't loose her. I can't. I love h-her."_

"_Edward," Carlisle said softly, moving forward desperately wishing he could bring his broken son comfort._

"_Save my wife. That's my wife in there. Dad. . ." Edward cried in anguish. They might not have been married yet but she _was_ his wife, in his heart even if it wasn't official in the eyes of society or the state. She was his heart, his everything._

_Carlisle made the final step and captured Edward in his arms before he hit the floor as he once had to do for Bella. His heart was breaking as he sat there holding his son while he cried and he cried with him for he had just lost a daughter._

"_That was my…she was going to be my…she's gone," Edward cried into his father's chest as he'd never cried in his life. _

_He'd never felt pain so ripe that he felt as if his very soul was being torn in two and he never would again._

"—it must have been love, but it's over now. It must have been good, but I lost it somehow—"

Edward's hand reached over and slapped at his clock radio his son had given him a few years ago.

Oh how he hated that thing more than ever this year.

Even after ten years, he dreamt the same thing every Thanksgiving. He relived that final day over and over again in his mind. The only thing that had changed was that he no longer awakened with tears in his eyes and his father sitting beside him.

He still missed his beloved everyday and would never forget her. With each passing year, it became a bit more manageable than the last but it was never, ever gone especially on this day. This day was always the hardest. This was the unofficial anniversary of the day he lost everything.

"Dad!"

Almost everything.

A shaggy mop of auburn hair slung back and forth over chocolate brown eyes as his son bounced on the bed trying to rouse him; Sasha alongside to help in the rousing.

He smiled at the duo before him. Both young, happy and so full of life. About three years after the loss of Bella, Edward had decided to find a female companion for Goober in hopes to continue his bloodline, to keep him as part of the family long after he parted this earth. The kids were thrilled when the puppies were born a few years later and, of course, begged to keep all of them. After a lot of smooth talking on Edward's part, he had finally convinced them that it would be better to keep only one. They chose the only girl in the litter, naming her Sasha. Goober had passed away about six years after she was born and the pain he had felt of Bella's loss was ripped back open, bleeding and aching as if he had lost her all over again. She had loved that dog. Edward found himself adoring Sasha. Somehow, maybe because she was part of Goober and he had been such a part of Bella's life, he felt as if she helped keep his connection to his lost beloved alive making him feel as if she were there guiding him through life and giving him the support she was no longer there to give.

He smiled at the thought running his hand through his son's hair.

"Time for a haircut, Charlie."

"I don't want a haircut. It's Thanksgiving _and _my tenth birthday," Charlie said pushing up his glasses.

"Plus, we get to see Mom today. There's no time for a haircut. I have to tell her about my science fair project idea and how Kyle and Kev got kicked out of their class last week. They'll never say. Come on, Grandma says breakfast is ready. We're having stuffed banana waffles with powdered sugar, too," Charlie finished excitedly before jumping off the bed and racing out.

It was at times like these, when his son was most excited or when the twins were at their worst—which incidentally was their best—that he most wished Bella was there to see them; to see how much they've grown and the young men they were growing up to be. She would be so proud of them.

Edward sat up and saw the time. Eight-thirty in the morning. He wasn't ready to be awake.

"Knock-knock?" Alice said peeking in the door.

"You up?" she asked as she took a seat on the bed.

"Yeah. Charlie was just in here for about five seconds that felt like five minutes talking my ear off."

Alice laughed.

"He's just excited. Mom took out some of yesterday's ham and fried it up because the twins wanted some and you know she felt bad about them being grounded."

Since Bella's death and Charlie's birth, it had become a new family tradition to celebrate Thanksgiving on Wednesday and Charlie's birthday on Thursday no matter how the dates fell. Charlie, as well as the rest of the family, never thought of Charlie's birthday as the twenty-seven of November, it was always on Thanksgiving. So, even though Charlie's birthday was two days before, they had Thanksgiving the day before and were celebrating his special day today.

"Mom is soft," Edward chuckled.

"How are you this year?"

"Same dream nothing has changed. How are you doing, Al?"

"I'm okay. It's been a long time. We had a lot of good years together. I'm sorry we didn't have more and weren't able to raise our children together, but," Alice shrugged, "I still feel her with me. I carry her with me. I don't know any other way. She was my sister in every way that mattered."

A tear slipped from Alice's eyes and Edward pulled her into a hug. It still bothered him that he wasn't there for her all those years ago. She'd stayed at home with the boys that night and Jasper had gone back to tell her in person that she'd lost her best friend. It was hard on them both and Edward could hardly pull himself together for the boys.

It took him several days before Carlisle was able to coax him into seeing Charlie. He hadn't wanted to see his son. He hadn't cared. None of it matter if she wasn't there to share in the moment with him but that all changed the moment he finally saw his son, so tiny and small in the incubator fighting for his life. He had soaked in every detail of his beautiful child in that moment; the few strands of auburn hair and his already chocolate eyes, just like his mother. As he reached inside and ran a delicate finger over his son's arm, his tiny fingers wrapping around one of his, he knew there was no tearing him away from the miracle that was his son.

Charles Henry Cullen.

He still felt ashamed that for even a moment he didn't want his son. He had wanted Bella more, but he knew it was his grief talking and not his heart, though broken as it was.

"Come on, lazy bones. Mom has already started the waffles."

"Be down in a minute."

Showered and shaved, Edward headed downstairs just as Esme was putting the breakfast on the table.

"Morning, Mom," Edward said giving her a kiss.

"Dad."

"Son."

"So, Dad, we were thinking—"

"Whatever it is, the answer is no."

"But you haven't even heard the best part," Kyle said.

"I don't want to hear any part. You two are grounded until Christmas."

Everyone laughed and Esme gave Edward a hard looking telling him not to be so tough on them.

"But, Dad," Kevin said sounding diplomatic.

"This should be good," Isabelle rolled her eyes.

"Aiden, Blake, Kyle and I were—"

"Aiden and Blake can do whatever they want. You two," Edward said waving his waffled fork at the boys, "are grounded until I say so because you two are the ones that got kicked out of your class. Permanently."

"Mom wou—" Kyle started.

"Dad," Kevin started again before his brother could say anything else.

If he let Kyle do the talking, they'd probably be grounded until they were thirty. Though he and his brother couldn't remember a great deal about Bella, they remembered her love for them and missed her much. Playing the "Mom Card" often worked to calm their father, but he knew today was not the day to play the never failed mom card. This was the third class they'd been dismissed from and the first of the three to be a permanent dismissal.

This needed finesse.

"That situation—"

"Situation?" Emmett muttered under his breath.

"—was completely unfounded. She was wrong and there was nothing else to it. Fine, _maybe_ we didn't have to correct her in the middle of class, but we can't very well be punished for being smart. She was teaching us incorrect material and knew it."

Kevin took what he considered a diplomatic pause, sipping his juice and allowing his father a moment or two to mull over what had been set out so far.

"If she was intimidated by our superior intellect, then we apologize. It was never our intention to make her feel such. We just thought if you're going to learn, why not learn the correct material?"

"You know, for fifteen year olds, you're smooth. Real smooth. Which is probably how you get out of just as much trouble as you get yourselves into."

"We can't help it if everyone else isn't to our caliber of intelligence. I'll dumb myself down for no one."

"I should say, Watson," Kevin replied to his brother with a head nod.

"How did I raise such snobs?" Edward chuckled. "You have this weekend, but come Monday, you two are grounded until Christmas break. And _don't_ even think about trying to help," Edward made air quotes as he said help. "your brother with his project."

Aiden and Blake's shoulders slumped as there uncle gave his final edict. They knew it was probably safer this way because they got in trouble when the twins had their _brilliant_ ideas, but they were always fun ideas. Until they got grounded anyway.

After breakfast was finished everyone parted to get ready to go see Bella, as they had done for the last nine years.

At the grave site, right next to Henry and Charlie's, sat Bella's headstone.

Charlie was already pulling out his notebook and prattling off about his upcoming science fair project to Bella while the twins were talking with Aiden about their new plan.

Isabelle was replacing the flowers on her aunt's headstone as her younger brother Blake brushed away leaves as Sasha plopped right down on top of them. Blake figured if he stayed out of the initial plans for whatever his cousins were coming up with now, he might not get in as much trouble.

Alice and Jasper held hands as they spoke quietly with Rose and Emmett while Carlisle and Esme wondered back to the parking lot to greet Renee and Phil who had just pulled up.

Moments later, Tanya came running over giving Kevin a tight hug and a sweet kiss before turning to his brother and punching him in the shoulder for getting themselves grounded for two weeks and then leaving to sit with Isabelle.

Sue and Robert came over to greet him; his and Bella's parents finally made it back.

Edward stood back and watched his family. They'd all lost someone they loved.

Friend.

Sister.

Daughter.

Mother and Aunt that had barely begun to touch their lives, yet still they loved her as if they'd known her forever, as if she'd been there all along. They would never forget her because, no matter how much it hurt to think about her, it hurt even more not to remember. It healed them a little more each day to laugh and cry about the woman she was and the woman she could have been.

He loved her now more than ever, if it was possible. He smiled softly as he looked around at the scene before him.

This was his family.

It was hers.

It was theirs.

Forever.

*** * * RMF * * ***

I really hope you all see the ending for what it is and not the fact that you didn't get what you wanted. HEA are all fine and well, but sometimes it's not always the best fit.

But there may be an alternate ending along with the other outtakes, but I haven't written it yet and I'll _only_ write it if you all want me to. In which case, I'll post an AN here telling you when it's posted for those of you who don't have me on author alert.

This has been a really great journey with all of you. I appreciate every one of you giving this story a read and a review, though times it was sketchy if I'd ever post again. Laughs.

I want to thank both of my Betas. They were a great help to me.

Thanks a Million.

Charley


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